I'm thinking of writing a letter to Penthouse....

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - I'm thinking of writing a letter to Penthouse....

Posted: 3/20/2006 12:26:53 PM EDT

something like this:

As I lie on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night.

You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.

You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any reservations, you lay on my naked body...you sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me. Finally, I went to sleep.

Today when I woke up, you were gone, I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last night's events.

My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making it harder to forget you.

Tonight I will remain awake, waiting for you...

....you fucking mosquito.

Posted: 3/20/2006 12:28:52 PM EDT

[#1]

I think it'll work - I'm turned on

Posted: 3/20/2006 12:28:52 PM EDT

[#2]

Posted: 3/20/2006 12:29:12 PM EDT

[#3]

Posted: 3/20/2006 12:31:31 PM EDT

[#4]

I did not get it until the 3rd time I read it. That is so sad. You know you spend to much time around guns when someone reads that and tries to figure out what it has to do with the new Sig 22lr.

Posted: 3/20/2006 12:31:59 PM EDT

[#5]

I think it'd be better if you just printed out a couple of SteyrAUG's posts and mailed them off.

Posted: 3/20/2006 12:32:07 PM EDT

[#6]

Posted: 3/20/2006 12:32:11 PM EDT

[#7]

OMG THAT WAS YOU!!!????

Posted: 3/20/2006 12:33:12 PM EDT

[#8]

Well, its an Oldie but I hadn't heard it in some time.

I was e-mailed a copy of it by the absolutely drop dead smoking hot file clerk we just hired. I was like WHAT THE FUCK... and then I got to the punch line!

Posted: 3/20/2006 12:39:07 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
Well, its an Oldie but I hadn't heard it in some time.

I was e-mailed a copy of it by the absolutely drop dead smoking hot file clerk we just hired. I was like WHAT THE FUCK... and then I got to the punch line!

good thing you didn't just read half of it and show up at her cubicle with your trousers around your feet!

Posted: 3/20/2006 12:40:20 PM EDT

[#10]

Too funny.

Posted: 3/20/2006 12:41:06 PM EDT

[#11]

Mosquito?

ETA: whew, I wasn't the only one.

Posted: 3/20/2006 3:13:05 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Well, its an Oldie but I hadn't heard it in some time.

I was e-mailed a copy of it by the absolutely drop dead smoking hot file clerk we just hired. I was like WHAT THE FUCK... and then I got to the punch line!

good thing you didn't just read half of it and show up at her cubicle with your trousers around your feet!

Yeah, no shit.

This woman is hot to the point that I don't even deal with her if I don't have to on the assumption that I will somehow fuck up and wind up saying something that gets my ass sued. Total sex kitten, easily a "10" in the looks department, and of course, dumb as a bag of hammers.

But, oh, so hot.

Posted: 3/20/2006 4:00:59 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Well, its an Oldie but I hadn't heard it in some time.

I was e-mailed a copy of it by the absolutely drop dead smoking hot file clerk we just hired. I was like WHAT THE FUCK... and then I got to the punch line!

good thing you didn't just read half of it and show up at her cubicle with your trousers around your feet!

Yeah, no shit.

This woman is hot to the point that I don't even deal with her if I don't have to on the assumption that I will somehow fuck up and wind up saying something that gets my ass sued. Total sex kitten, easily a "10" in the looks department, and of course, dumb as a bag of hammers.

But, oh, so hot.

I don't believe you.

So you'll have to post a pic to prove me wrong.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - I'm thinking of writing a letter to Penthouse....

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