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Posted: 3/18/2006 4:16:40 AM EDT
So this morning I'm in the bathroom getting cleaned up, and there is a funny looking bottle of pills on the counter......Lexapro, take one daily, etc. What the hell is this stuff for...? So I asked the Mrs. about it, and she said her Dr. gave it to her to deal with stress......WTF...??? When did life get so hard that you have to take a pill every day just to live it...? We've got a house in the burbs, both pull down good coin, etc. In my head I like to think we're on Easy St. She just turned thirty, and now has to medicate to live. How about a big cup'o'booze every morning to take care of the stresss in your life...? If the Dr. had said "you feel stress because your X Chromies are interfering with your Y Chromies, so you need to medicate.", perhaps I would feel a bit different, but my take on it now is she's just pop'n happy pills.....

Link Posted: 3/18/2006 4:24:12 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 4:26:52 AM EDT
Maybe she has a high Thetan level?


Speed
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 4:28:16 AM EDT
I'm sorry but ALL women on Gods green earth thinks there life is stressful. It's really screwed up when they have to deal with real stress. It's all a bunch of bull shit to get you attion I think why else would she leave pills out like that?
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 4:28:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By speedracer422:
Maybe she has a high Thetan level?


Speed



word, brother
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 4:30:16 AM EDT
I think life became stressful when liberalism was created....
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 4:33:01 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/18/2006 4:33:38 AM EDT by coondog]
Sounds like you don't know her too well. What you THINK is a good life may not be to her. If you've never been depressed,you'll not know what it's like. And I'm not talking about having a bad day or a rough week. I'm talking about weeks and months on end where everything that used to make you happy, doesn't . Everything you used to do had a reason for getting done,now doesn't. Waking up and having the encouragement to go at it just isn't there. After awhile,mentally you just simply do not have what you used to ,to live life.
You mention that you both make good money. That isn't always the answer to happiness. Money helps,sure , BUT just because you have it,doesn't mean it will fix all your problems.
I seriously hope you and the wife can work things out. Hopefully you can have some compassion for her and HELP her with her depression.
Good luck.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 4:43:28 AM EDT
Life always was hard, and it has always taken thought and effort to maintain a level head when things get stressful.

In todays world, that thought and effort is helped along by prescribing ourselves the drugs that the pharmaceuticals have conjured up to hit just the right spot in the old noodle.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 4:49:13 AM EDT
I can't help her with something that I have yet to see or believe. When I asked her what is so stressful, her reply was "everything". That sounds like life to me, and I feel no need to go out and get a pill for it. It's the whole "magic pill" part of it that bugs me. Next she'll need a pill to counter what the first one is doing, then that one will interefere with something else, etc. There are other ways of dealing with stress.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 4:51:13 AM EDT
Make sure your guns are locked up.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 4:54:58 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 4:59:47 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:
So instead of getting to the bottom of what's causing the stress and helping her deal with it, you get pissed off and essentially call her weak? Nice.

Everyone deals with stress differently, and some simply deal better than others. Clearly your wife feels overwhelmed, and she needs some help. She's not getting it from you, so what did you expect her to do?




Thank you for your input.

The thing that you may not understand, as I may not have explained it well enough, is that I can not help if I don't know what the problem is. And it's not like she's holed up in some dark cloest curled in a ball. We work, go out, do things, laugh, play carry on, etc. My concern is that if she is "weak", she's weak for medications. My concern is that she has a pill problem rather than a problem problem.

No need to flip this thread into a bash.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 5:15:51 AM EDT
I find it strange that we spend billions of dollars every year trying to keep certain mind altering substances off America's streets, and spend billions of dollars to make sure everyone (even our kids) has access to some other mind altering substances that the government says are ok (and makes a lot of money off of).
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 5:17:56 AM EDT

Originally Posted By MNGuns:

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:
So instead of getting to the bottom of what's causing the stress and helping her deal with it, you get pissed off and essentially call her weak? Nice.

Everyone deals with stress differently, and some simply deal better than others. Clearly your wife feels overwhelmed, and she needs some help. She's not getting it from you, so what did you expect her to do?




Thank you for your input.

The thing that you may not understand, as I may not have explained it well enough, is that I can not help if I don't know what the problem is. And it's not like she's holed up in some dark cloest curled in a ball. We work, go out, do things, laugh, play carry on, etc. My concern is that if she is "weak", she's weak for medications. My concern is that she has a pill problem rather than a problem problem.

No need to flip this thread into a bash.



You got to be carful with guns and those pills around the house. Those assholes that shot up the school they were on some shit like that before they did it I think. I was on crap like that before because the doctor said " you must be under a lot of stress take this" ok. Most of that stuff stops you from dewelling on things such as shooting up a school like those assholes did after I relized what effect it had on me I stopped takeing it. I think it was zoloft zoiloft Z something.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 5:20:30 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 5:28:17 AM EDT
When did life get so hard? It started when someone convinced someone else that they couldn't live without this kind of beaded arm band or turtle shell bowl or spearpoint or moccasin, etc.........

Look around and figure out all the shit that you don't need. You are probably bleeding money from every pore. Magazine subscriptions that you hardly ever read. All the extra shit that the phone company offers; call waiting, call forwarding, caller ID, etc. Lawn care done by someone else. All the crap that your kids have to have or they will die, then don't even look at after a few days. Trips to Disney World or Six Flags or to see Big freakin Bird On Ice. Dining out six days a week and for lunch instead of brown bagging and cooking at home. Remodeling a comfortable house because it's "out of style" or just out of boredom. A new car every couple of years because, because, because, WTF!

All of that kind of shit that keeps you running in place just to keep up instead of just saying, fuck it, I have enough. I'm not saying all of this is directed at you. It's a compilation of crap that I have observed from the slaves of slick marketing and peer pressure.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 5:33:39 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:


Everyone deals with stress differently, and some simply deal better than others. Clearly your wife feels overwhelmed, and she needs some help.



Exactly.

While I'm no fan of using prescription medication to deal with your problems, it's very easy to feel overwhelmed and stressed to the point where a person can experience mild depression - especially if they aren't feeling supported. You're surprised and dismayed because until this moment you didn't even realise there's a problem. My unsolicited advice would be for you both to have a good talk and try to come up with another way of helping her deal with whatever she's going through together.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 5:36:53 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Pangea:
When did life get so hard? It started when someone convinced someone else that they couldn't live without this kind of beaded arm band or turtle shell bowl or spearpoint or moccasin, etc.........

Look around and figure out all the shit that you don't need. You are probably bleeding money from every pore. Magazine subscriptions that you hardly ever read. All the extra shit that the phone company offers; call waiting, call forwarding, caller ID, etc. Lawn care done by someone else. All the crap that your kids have to have or they will die, then don't even look at after a few days. Trips to Disney World or Six Flags or to see Big freakin Bird On Ice. Dining out six days a week and for lunch instead of brown bagging and cooking at home. Remodeling a comfortable house because it's "out of style" or just out of boredom. A new car every couple of years because, because, because, WTF!

All of that kind of shit that keeps you running in place just to keep up instead of just saying, fuck it, I have enough. I'm not saying all of this is directed at you. It's a compilation of crap that I have observed from the slaves of slick marketing and peer pressure.



Wow. What more can you say...


SP1Grrl...She got the pills from her doc, not a psych. Which is part of my complaint. Shouldn't a psych be handing out stuff like that.?
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 5:36:54 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Zaphod:
I think life became stressful when liberalism was created God created Eve....







Stress sucks. But something approaching a proper diet and proper excersise alone with good friends/family relationships go a long ways to making a person feel better without having to resort to medications.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 5:40:50 AM EDT
I don't know why for sure, but woman are much more susceptable to the "take this and you will feel better". I do know that woman are much more prone to bouts of depression, deal with hormone issues every month, and seem to be more influenced by their group of female friends to use "happy pills".

You do need to have a frank and loving talk with your wife on why she thinks she needs these medications. They do NOT get to the actual problems that they are being used for.

If you come across to her in the wrong way she will continue to use them, but will hide the evidence from you. That in itself will cause more stress. I believe it is wrong for a person [either spouse] to hide mind altering substance usage from the other. [even legal one's]

Drugs are just an easy way not to have to deal with underlying issues unless their are true chemical imbalances that are occuring. Drs do a poor job when they prescribe meds, and many just do it because their patient asks about them, and complain about how they feel. Sometimes you just feel down, thats life. You also feel up in life sometimes, drugs just flatline those ups and downs. It's not real life tho........

Link Posted: 3/18/2006 5:41:42 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Pangea:
When did life get so hard? It started when someone convinced someone else that they couldn't live without this kind of beaded arm band or turtle shell bowl or spearpoint or moccasin, etc.........

Look around and figure out all the shit that you don't need. You are probably bleeding money from every pore. Magazine subscriptions that you hardly ever read. All the extra shit that the phone company offers; call waiting, call forwarding, caller ID, etc. Lawn care done by someone else. All the crap that your kids have to have or they will die, then don't even look at after a few days. Trips to Disney World or Six Flags or to see Big freakin Bird On Ice. Dining out six days a week and for lunch instead of brown bagging and cooking at home. Remodeling a comfortable house because it's "out of style" or just out of boredom. A new car every couple of years because, because, because, WTF!

All of that kind of shit that keeps you running in place just to keep up instead of just saying, fuck it, I have enough. I'm not saying all of this is directed at you. It's a compilation of crap that I have observed from the slaves of slick marketing and peer pressure.





Amen.

We opted out of that crap. Now we just watch everyone else around here making themselves crazy.

Link Posted: 3/18/2006 5:41:55 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Bumblebee_Bob:

Originally Posted By Zaphod:
I think life became stressful when liberalism was created God created Eve....







Stress sucks. But something approaching a proper diet and proper excersise alone with good friends/family relationships go a long ways to making a person feel better without having to resort to medications.



This has got to be the best reply, and the closest thing to the "answer?" I was looking for. If anything it's a place to start. She (we) probably don't have the best of diet, and she gets no exercise. Eat better, exercise, stay off the pills. Thanks Bumblebee_Bob....

Link Posted: 3/18/2006 5:42:03 AM EDT
Sit down with her and find out what the major problem is. Possibly she needs counseling along with the medication to aleviate some problems she may be facing. If you are both working full-time she's got things going on that you may not even know and vice-versa. Try a little communication, some understanding and maybe that bottle of pills will vanish. Keep tightening the screws, putting her down for trying to get some help and you may just make a little problem get a lot bigger.
OBTW I've been there, am still working things through, but the alternative is 100 time worse. believe me, depression/anxiety disorder is nothing to play with...

Good luck and keep talking. Sometimes that's all that's necessary.

Link Posted: 3/18/2006 5:43:41 AM EDT
Never thought there was a period of time when it was easy.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 5:57:33 AM EDT
Stress! LOL
try this ( remember I own an 18 wheeler).
week 1: $2200.00 in emergency repairs
Week2: Bugedted $1000.00 for 2 (yes 2) tires (front) and spent it.
week 3: More emergency repairs $950.00

Now during all this I am working a deal on a house 150 miles from where I currently live, running the roads trying to recoupe the $3000.00 I spent on unexpected repairs. Dump $8000.00 on a down payment , closing etc.

On Tursday,4 days before closing I blow a head gasket on my rig $3500.00 more bux I got to have next week.
SO in less then a month, i have just about depleted my savings.
You spend almost $12,000.00 in a month and $4,000.00 you were NOT expecting to pay out, and yeah that will lead to stress, but ya dont see me popping happy pills or asking for Zoloph (sp).
A joint WOULD be nice but I cant do that either

So I just deal with it, even though I want to get moved in and get back to work I cant do either, remember big truck broke, LOL. so I will sit here and bug you people
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 6:00:58 AM EDT
1. See if you can talk her into doing some volunteer work on a cancer ward. You, too. If that doesn't get your priorities straight, probably nothing will.

2. And a big +1 to those who advised you to drop out of the wage-slave rat-race and simplify your life. If you catch yourself working harder and harder to buy more and more stuff you don't need, refer to #1.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 6:04:28 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/18/2006 6:06:20 AM EDT by Thuban]
Her problem isn’t stress, it’s a lack of stress.

Humans are equipped to deal with living in a high stress environment. (Kids eaten by leopards, floods wash the crops away, finding enough food to avoid starvation, etc.) But those circuits in the brain are basically unemployed in the modern human. So, rather than just sit around watching Oprah all day long, those circuits go out and find busy work to keep themselves occupied. People end up getting overly stressed over completely minor stuff.

And to make matters worse, there’s not much that can be done about these minor stresses. If a leopard tries to eat your kids you can chase it around with a spear. But if the kids are having their mind stolen by a stinking purple dinosaur then things aren’t that easy.

Just understanding what’s happening probably makes it easier though. Realizing that all your apprehension and stress is just an invention of an underworked brain lets you deal with it better.

Other than that, she needs to actually get out and do something. If you have the room in your yard, have her start a big garden. Or take long backpacking trips on the weekends. Humans need some real stress in their lives or we will start to invent our own. So, go find something stressful for her to do.

ETA:
Volunteer work... Good idea Rodent.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 6:19:19 AM EDT

Originally Posted By MNGuns:

Originally Posted By Bumblebee_Bob:
Stress sucks. But something approaching a proper diet and proper excersise alone with good friends/family relationships go a long ways to making a person feel better without having to resort to medications.



This has got to be the best reply, and the closest thing to the "answer?" I was looking for. If anything it's a place to start. She (we) probably don't have the best of diet, and she gets no exercise. Eat better, exercise, stay off the pills. Thanks Bumblebee_Bob....




It's just good, common sense. And a good place to start.

I don't eat proper meals much myself. Nor do I get the exercise I should. But when I really start to dragass I try to eat better and start going for a walk after work. Usually within a week I'm feeling better about things. Prayer also helps.

And Pangea makes some damn fine points about life in general too. Trim the excess crap out of life and it'll help too.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 6:20:27 AM EDT
How old is your wife? When I first started going pre menopausal I started having panic attacks. They were horrible. My doctors first tried to put me on anti depressants and that only made things worse. Once I got my hormones under control [through a natural pathic MD/ND] I started feeling better.

I am only 40. This started about 4 years ago and can last for several more years [they save the average woman goes through the premenopausal stage for about 10 years. ]
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 6:29:48 AM EDT

Originally Posted By MNGuns:

Originally Posted By Bumblebee_Bob:

Originally Posted By Zaphod:
I think life became stressful when liberalism was created God created Eve.... hinking.gif



hing


This has got to be the best reply, and the closest thing to the "answer?" I was looking for. If anything it's a place to start. She (we) probably don't have the best of diet, and she gets no exercise. Eat better, exercise, stay off the pills. Thanks Bumblebee_Bob....hr

users.tpg.com.au/adslpmp0/Depression4.html
This link helped me understand what depression is all about. It broke it down into the basics without using 5 dollar words.
Excersise, diet are all factors but sometimes the pills are needed to even out the peaks and valleys.

HTH
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 7:15:41 AM EDT
Time to find an 18 year old girlfriend.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 7:17:48 AM EDT
Some people just don't want to cope with life so they substitute drugs for dealing with problems such as stress.

I just run.

Max
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 7:20:46 AM EDT
like the rolling stones said; "and she goes running for the shelter from her mothers little helper"......


listen to the song, it describes 50% of the "civilized" world
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 7:21:09 AM EDT
Something like 60%+ of all women are on some type of drug similar to lexapro.

It's because somewhere down the line they figured out you're not a prince and they are not a princess.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 7:30:21 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/18/2006 7:45:44 AM EDT by Turnkey]
I struggle with Depression and lately more than ever
I've made some bad choices that I have to live with
I refuse to take Medication
There are alot of Factors that can contribute to Depression

There a Spiritual aspect and a psychological aspect
I believe it's always Human Nature to never be satisfied with what you have
Look at the Famous and wealthy people that commit suicide
Consider a guy like Terry Bradshaw who at the Height of his Success in Pro Football was battling Depression

Exercise and Diet are aslo key Something as simple as an Overgrowth of Candida can wreak havoc

Please look into Diet and get her Exercising then get her weaned of the Lexapro
Remember Mainstream Doctors are always Pushing these Drugs

Try to get her to talk to you Let her know that you've got her back and that you are going to help her get thru it
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 7:38:39 AM EDT

Originally Posted By MNGuns:
In my head I like to think we're on Easy St.




That's the key right there. What's going on in her head, and how she sees the world and your life together is clearly different from yours. You need to find out what is in her head, and why she thinks she needs this. Be careful about making assumptions, and be sure to really listen to her.

Good luck. Sorry your wife is having a tough time.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 7:44:05 AM EDT
I have noticed that even if stess isn't present, many women will create it.

For the love of God I will never figure this one out.

My goal in life is to achieve NO DRAMA. Women on the other hand will ADD DRAMA to their lives. It's entertainment for them in the same sick and twisted way that mutilation is entertainment for serial killers.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 7:51:29 AM EDT
A lot of the new pills have a very subtle effect. They may simply reduce a person's chemical reactions to enviornmental pollution (noise, TV, etc) or whatever is causing a constant, unrelenting irritation.
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 9:26:24 AM EDT

Originally Posted By MNGuns:
So this morning I'm in the bathroom getting cleaned up, and there is a funny looking bottle of pills on the counter......Lexapro, take one daily, etc. What the hell is this stuff for...? So I asked the Mrs. about it, and she said her Dr. gave it to her to deal with stress......WTF...??? When did life get so hard that you have to take a pill every day just to live it...? We've got a house in the burbs, both pull down good coin, etc. In my head I like to think we're on Easy St. She just turned thirty, and now has to medicate to live. How about a big cup'o'booze every morning to take care of the stresss in your life...? If the Dr. had said "you feel stress because your X Chromies are interfering with your Y Chromies, so you need to medicate.", perhaps I would feel a bit different, but my take on it now is she's just pop'n happy pills.....



If you live in Minnesota then you don't know what stress is.....

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