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Posted: 3/17/2006 6:25:18 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/17/2006 6:30:57 AM EDT by 89grand]
Man severs own penis, throws it at officers

March 17, 2006

BY ERIC HERMAN Staff Reporter


Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.


Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

The occupants were not home, he added.

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:27:52 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:28:27 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:28:51 AM EDT
Call me crazy - but I suspect that crystal meth abuse MAY have been involved somewhere along the line.

I know, it's a wild idea....
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:29:44 AM EDT
That is the craziest escape tactic I have ever seen.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:29:45 AM EDT
Sounds like he's just misunderstood.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:31:46 AM EDT
Drugs make you COOL!
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:32:18 AM EDT
just when you think you've heard it all...
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:32:25 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/17/2006 6:33:52 AM EDT by 89grand]
Libtard moment>Yeah, what this man needs is some understanding and compassion, not ridicule!<Libtard moment now over.

Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:32:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Evil_Ed:
Call me crazy - but I suspect that crystal meth abuse MAY have been involved somewhere along the line.

I know, it's a wild idea....



I'll take the Crystal Meth Abuse for 200 Alex.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:32:48 AM EDT
Reminds me of the old song, "Detachable Penis" - strange.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:33:11 AM EDT
/Peter Venkman

This man has no dick.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:34:36 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:34:46 AM EDT
Just the topic of the thread made my LOL.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:36:56 AM EDT

Originally Posted By fight4yourrights:



+1,000

Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:37:03 AM EDT
Except for the knife throwing bit, i'd be laughing to hard to apprehend the guy.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:37:33 AM EDT
That took some balls!

TC
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:37:41 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Greywolf2112:
Reminds me of the old song, "Detachable Penis" - strange.



Sometimes I leave it at home, so it doesn't get me in trouble..
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:37:45 AM EDT
If I had to start cutting off body parts to throw at the Popo, my hog would be my last choice.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:37:52 AM EDT
If I was one of those cops, I would have kicked the severed unit down a storm drain... "Oooopps, how clumsy of me". "Looks like you'll be squatting to piss from now on fella".
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:39:20 AM EDT
What do you mean, "without serious injury"?!
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:39:29 AM EDT
What a tool.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:40:11 AM EDT

Originally Posted By anjan9:
What a tool.



*rimshot*
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:40:23 AM EDT
Well, I thought I might be missing something after reading the title, but that pretty much covers it...
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:41:46 AM EDT
Chicago huh, i think mayor Daley needs to ban the penis---for the kids, this type of thing is getting out of hand
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:41:56 AM EDT
the house of flying daggers 2: the penis revolutions
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:45:15 AM EDT
Just proves that crack don't smoke itself.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:46:05 AM EDT
Ouchie!
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:46:36 AM EDT

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.


Other than the fact that they were probably laughing too hard, why was this guy not ventilated at this point?

Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:47:07 AM EDT
Illegals come to America to sever their body parts that Americans don't want to sever.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:47:56 AM EDT
Must have used a deboning knife.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:50:12 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/17/2006 6:50:26 AM EDT by Colt_SBR]
That'll rub buff out.


______________________________


Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:50:33 AM EDT
This is the last thing I'd ever expect to be reading about on my birthday...
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:51:09 AM EDT

Ah, eeeeewwww? I feel bad for the cop who had to pick that thing up!

Baaaaaad visuals here...............

Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:52:40 AM EDT

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

Originally Posted By Evil_Ed:
Call me crazy - but I suspect that crystal meth abuse MAY have been involved somewhere along the line.

I know, it's a wild idea....



I'll take the Crystal Meth Abuse for 200 Alex.



...or PCP.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:53:44 AM EDT
That man takes his dick waving seriously!
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:54:26 AM EDT

Originally Posted By NME:
This is the last thing I'd ever expect to be reading about on my birthday...






______________________________


Link Posted: 3/17/2006 6:57:53 AM EDT
What a dick!
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 7:08:40 AM EDT
Can you imagine his surprise when he sobers up?

"Did I cut off my dick yesterday?" *looks under sheets* "I thought I felt a draft."
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 9:00:39 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Colt_SBR:

Originally Posted By NME:
This is the last thing I'd ever expect to be reading about on my birthday...



img.photobucket.com/albums/v323/Colt_SBR/Smiley%20signs/G-H-I/HappyBirthday03HL.gif


______________________________

img.photobucket.com/albums/v323/Colt_SBR/57985sm.gif



Thanks!
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 9:05:26 AM EDT

Originally Posted By 89grand:
If I had to start cutting off body parts to throw at the Popo, my hog would be my last choice.



Link Posted: 3/17/2006 9:06:28 AM EDT
He was just hotdoggin' with his sawed-off.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 9:09:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Thunderchild:
That took some balls!

TC



Did I misread something??????
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 9:12:45 AM EDT
In Mesa Az the situation would have ended a bit differently....with the perp full of multiple gunshot wounds and the "organ" fed to one fo the K9s......and rightly so!!!
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 9:16:21 AM EDT
Just for laughs, I would've put it in a hot dog bun & gave it back to him.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 9:23:30 AM EDT
Drugs had nothing to do with this i bet it was something much more dangerous called the bible! Dont you guys read the news? This kinda shit happens all the time. Some religious nut reads the part of the bible that says "when a part of your body causes you to sin cut it off! if your right hand causes you to sin cut it off, it is better to enter heavan without a hand than to be thrown into hell with your whole body" I'm not kidding here, a lot of the cases like this involve a wacko who read the bible then did this out of guilt cause "sex and lust is evil" there was even a case in Canada where a man after watching the movie "the passion" cut off his joystick then ran through the streets yelling "sinners repent!" well i guess to call him crazy is wrong after all he's just doing what God told him to do, no?
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 9:29:31 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Evil_Ed:
Call me crazy - but I suspect that crystal meth abuse MAY have been involved somewhere along the line.

I know, it's a wild idea....



It does sound like something a trustee of modern chemistry would do, don't it??
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 9:33:21 AM EDT


Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.



Link Posted: 3/17/2006 9:36:29 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:


Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.






Beat me to, it.


+1
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 9:38:24 AM EDT
Well, I for one feel proud and thankful that my hard earned tax money was spent on the successful reattachment surgery. Money well spent.


They should have reattached it to some Lesbo who would have appreciated it more.
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 9:43:24 AM EDT
I nominate this thread for "Best Topic" of 06.
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