The Ideal Woman - AR15.COM

Posted: 3/15/2006 3:35:34 PM EDT

Ah, the sound of it. Opened up my cell phone today and what do I hear? A womans voice asking......"command please".......

Posted: 3/15/2006 3:42:33 PM EDT

[#1]

That's only during the GF phase. After you put the ring on the finger "What do you want now?".

Posted: 3/15/2006 3:44:45 PM EDT

[#2]

This former GF did it after the vows as well. Just tagging to see the male responses.

Posted: 3/15/2006 3:52:12 PM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
This former GF did it after the vows as well....

Got any sisters?

Posted: 3/15/2006 3:52:45 PM EDT

[#4]

The ideal woman.

I met her but she doesn't feel quite the same way about me.

CJ

Posted: 3/15/2006 3:54:59 PM EDT

[#5]

Just imagine....she is 3 feet tall, has no teeth, has earslike suitcase handles, the top of her head is flat so you can set your beer on it, and her second favorite passtime is reloading!! Ahhhhhhh...

Posted: 3/15/2006 4:01:29 PM EDT

[#6]

Ladies, it's really simple. Don't over think this. Ready? Here we go:

1. Sex is nice. We like it more if you agree with us.
2. Don't talk too much.
3. Dont' bitch. See #2.
4. If we wanted you to know what we were thinking, we would have told you. See #2.
5. We like to fix things. If you don't want us to fix your problem, don't tell us about it. See #2.
6. We like guns. There isn't much of a rational reason for this. Don't ask us to explain this. See #2.
7. If one is good, two is better. Live a little. Tell your horny girlfirend to refer to rule #2, or it's no fun.

Posted: 3/15/2006 4:03:14 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
Quoted:
This former GF did it after the vows as well....

Got any sisters?

No, but i'm divorcing, and you have a GF. So no go there.

Posted: 3/15/2006 4:04:32 PM EDT

[#8]

...exists only as an idea.

Posted: 3/15/2006 4:04:33 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
This former GF did it after the vows as well....

Got any sisters?

No, but i'm divorcing, and you have a GF. So no go there.

DOH!

Posted: 3/15/2006 4:08:28 PM EDT

[#10]

Merriam-Webster

Bipolar- bI-'pO-l&r
Function - adjective
Definition - Woman

One minuter they are love you, next minute they hate you.

Posted: 3/15/2006 4:10:19 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
Merriam-Webster

Bipolar- bI-'pO-l&r
Function - adjective
Definition - Woman

One minuter they are love you, next minute they hate you.

Posted: 3/15/2006 4:20:43 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Ladies, it's really simple. Don't over think this. Ready? Here we go:

1. Sex is nice. We like it more if you agree with us.
2. Don't talk too much.
3. Dont' bitch. See #2.
4. If we wanted you to know what we were thinking, we would have told you. See #2.
5. We like to fix things. If you don't want us to fix your problem, don't tell us about it. See #2.
6. We like guns. There isn't much of a rational reason for this. Don't ask us to explain this. See #2.
7. If one is good, two is better. Live a little. Tell your horny girlfirend to refer to rule #2, or it's no fun.

1) Nookie is good. We like it more if you do what you're supposed to do.
2) Listen more, it leads to more nookie.
3) Don't piss us off, nuff said. See #2
4) You jsut better spend your extra time figuring out what I'm thinking then.
5) I personally like to fix things too. No rebuttal, sorry.
6) I like guns too. I don't see a problem here.
7) If you like two be prepared for us to find something bigger or better than you.

Posted: 3/15/2006 4:29:39 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
Merriam-Webster

Bipolar- bI-'pO-l&r
Function - adjective
Definition - Woman

One minuter they are love you, next minute they hate you.

LOL If you don't like the mood your woman's in, wait a minute?

Posted: 3/15/2006 4:33:19 PM EDT

[#14]

Jeesh, I got to lay off the beer, I can't spell for shit tonight.

Posted: 3/15/2006 4:35:49 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Merriam-Webster

Bipolar- bI-'pO-l&r
Function - adjective
Definition - Woman

One minuter they are love you, next minute they hate you.

My ex, male of course, is bi polar....

Posted: 3/15/2006 4:37:30 PM EDT

[#16]

Ever heard "Bitchin Betty"?

Nothing like the calming sound of a woman's voice telling you your F18 doesn't have enough fuel to make it back to the ship or that you are about the splatter yourself in a rice paddy somewhere.

Posted: 3/15/2006 4:41:31 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
Merriam-Webster

Bipolar- bI-'pO-l&r
Function - adjective
Definition - Woman

One minuter they are love you, next minute they hate you.

whose your bitch now?

j/k Dieselman, you know I love you!

Posted: 3/15/2006 4:54:17 PM EDT

[#18]

I deserved that one Patty! I need a little slappin' around now and then.

Posted: 3/15/2006 5:03:29 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Just imagine....she is 3 feet tall, has no teeth, has earslike suitcase handles, the top of her head is flat so you can set your beer on it, and her second favorite passtime is reloading!! Ahhhhhhh...

Posted: 3/15/2006 5:06:27 PM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Ladies, it's really simple. Don't over think this. Ready? Here we go:

1. Sex is nice. We like it more if you agree with us.
2. Don't talk too much.
3. Dont' bitch. See #2.
4. If we wanted you to know what we were thinking, we would have told you. See #2.
5. We like to fix things. If you don't want us to fix your problem, don't tell us about it. See #2.
6. We like guns. There isn't much of a rational reason for this. Don't ask us to explain this. See #2.
7. If one is good, two is better. Live a little. Tell your horny girlfirend to refer to rule #2, or it's no fun.

1) Nookie is good. We like it more if you do what you're supposed to do.
2) Listen more, it leads to more nookie.
3) Don't piss us off, nuff said. See #2
4) You jsut better spend your extra time figuring out what I'm thinking then.
5) I personally like to fix things too. No rebuttal, sorry.
6) I like guns too. I don't see a problem here.
7) If you like two be prepared for us to find something bigger or better than you.

Posted: 3/15/2006 5:26:53 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
Ladies, it's really simple. Don't over think this. Ready? Here we go:

1. Sex is nice. We like it more if you agree with us.
2. Don't talk too much.
3. Dont' bitch. See #2.
4. If we wanted you to know what we were thinking, we would have told you. See #2.
5. We like to fix things. If you don't want us to fix your problem, don't tell us about it. See #2.
6. We like guns. There isn't much of a rational reason for this. Don't ask us to explain this. See #2.
7. If one is good, two is better. Live a little. Tell your horny girlfirend to refer to rule #2, or it's no fun.

That's fuggin great!

Posted: 3/15/2006 5:28:40 PM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Ladies, it's really simple. Don't over think this. Ready? Here we go:

1. Sex is nice. We like it more if you agree with us.
2. Don't talk too much.
3. Dont' bitch. See #2.
4. If we wanted you to know what we were thinking, we would have told you. See #2.
5. We like to fix things. If you don't want us to fix your problem, don't tell us about it. See #2.
6. We like guns. There isn't much of a rational reason for this. Don't ask us to explain this. See #2.
7. If one is good, two is better. Live a little. Tell your horny girlfirend to refer to rule #2, or it's no fun.

It all about #2---see#2

That's fuggin great!

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