Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Site Notices
Posted: 3/12/2006 9:08:23 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/12/2006 9:11:39 AM EDT by lonegunman]
The problem I am having is that I like sci fi TV, I always liked this show as a kid and kind of like this stupid mess. God, it is so Fvcked up,,,,,,it is hard for me to imagine that the human race was wiped out with the exception of the 49,365 stupidest assholes to have ever sucked a breath.

The president is a delusional school teacher who is injected with cylon baby blood to keep her from dying of cancer. She is f-ing clueless in any matter relating to military, public service or sadly history. She believes their bible has some factual information in it. If it did, it would be the only religous document in history to have some useful information.

The vice-president/future president is a nut job who spends his days playing with his balls and talking to the robot hoochie in his head. When he is not playing with his balls and jabbering to his delusion, he is drinking and fondling sluts. Sadly, he is considered the smartestman in the world.

The warships are crewed by the rejects from a third rate civil air patrol squadron:

The Commander and now Admiral of the two ship fleet waffles on every decision and has only his drunken old war buddy and kid to depend on. Why? Because the rest of the ships are filled with rejects and morons and the crew is about as skilled as chimps. They depend in news from a ship flying outside the porthole more than their own commander. They betray each other on a whim.

The best pilot is a hermaphrodite, with a drinking and fucking problem. Unable to follow even the simplest instruction she is considered the finest leader they have ever seen. When she is not flying in a random pattern across the skies, she is sleeping it off, banging some random guy or whining about her shitty life. Her greatest idea so far? Fly every ship you own back to Caprica to rescue her boyfriend and three other people, nevermind that you kill 12 pilots and destroy several ships to do it, she needs the cock.

The maintenance chief is a robot fucker, he has no leadership skills or technical ability. His fuck robot tried to blow up the ship several times and he ignored it. His fuck robot then tried to kill the commander and he was sad. Why was he sad? Because they locked his fuck robot in the bring and he can't fuck it anymore. NEVERMIND, it tried to kill the commander. It was shot by his jilted lover.

One of the pilots returned with another version of the chief's fuck robot, he liked fucking it too. He liked it so much he knocked it up. Now him and the chief can't be friends. He is still a pilot and nobody debriefed him. He sits outside her cell and pines away for more sweet robot poon.

Everyone knows they have cylon spies, no one looks for them. The cylons disguise themselves with glasses and hats,,,sort of like Clark Kent. Sadly, this works all to well. When they find them, they are usually fucking one of the "leaders" of this merry band. Apparently, Cylon ass is quite fine.

Best of all, all cylons are DNA interchangable and disease free. Even with these two interesting traits, the smartest man in the world cannot let go of his balls long enough to develop a blood test to find them. The idea that a black man, goofy preacher, oriental pilot and blond super model all have the same DNA is kind of entertaining.

Everyone knows the Cylons waited fifty years to attack, they spend fifty years building ships and equipment to wipe the humans out of exisitance. They think the cylons will simply give up after nine months. Apparently, fifty years of planning and no follow through is a good idea.

They find a shittty planet that looks like Seattle in January, the cylons are three days back and hunting them. They decide to live there because,"it has been long enough" and the cylons radar won't find them. I guess cylons don't have eyes or cylon spies never phone home.


So here we are, Dr. Ballsqueezer is elected president, they live on a shithole planet and have abandoned their military to live in a hippie commune on the "Moon of Stupidity". Much to their suprise, the Cylons didn't give up looking for them and now they all got caught, worst of all it was right in the middle of their union meeting. Looks like somebody gets a chrome plated robot wanker in the next episode.

Link Posted: 3/12/2006 9:13:46 AM EDT
It's still a wicked show.
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 9:18:11 AM EDT
You see thats the problem. It is a wicked show. The CG stuff is pretty darn good, the concept is close to the original, updated with the advent of better special effects. The story line has lots of appeal.

But the characters are a total bunch of morons and not a single person on the writing staff has ever served a day in or read anything on any military in the history of humanity or any civilization under attack.
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 9:21:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By lonegunman:
The problem I am having is that I like sci fi TV, I always liked this show as a kid and kind of like this stupid mess. God, it is so Fvcked up



yep - fucked up totally, and even as a new series it is fucked up.....and the women empowerment bullshit makes me puke...
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 9:21:53 AM EDT
You have to keep in mind. The BSG was being decomissioned and set up as museum. I really doubt the creme of the crop would be assigned to such a duty station.

They have to work with what they have not what they want or need.
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 9:22:30 AM EDT
They have to make everyone else a loser except for Adama, this is for contrast. He looks like a badass in contrast, when if they made everyone tactical then the show would be bland.

Link Posted: 3/12/2006 12:58:20 PM EDT

Originally Posted By lonegunman:
<snip>




Fuckin A' right. It's still one of the best written shows on TV.


BC
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 1:02:28 PM EDT
DUPE

IBTL
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 1:05:31 PM EDT
lol
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 1:07:55 PM EDT
Everyone on that show looks like they are about to fall asleep.
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 1:11:13 PM EDT
That was a funny commentary...and I've never even seen the show.
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 1:12:50 PM EDT
I like it,
It took a while but it has grown on me.

Tell me this week wasnt the season finale

FREE
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 1:20:18 PM EDT
I have never seen the show
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 1:22:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By FREEFALLE7:
I like it,
It took a while but it has grown on me.

Tell me this week wasnt the season finale

FREE



It was bro. Sorry.


At least now I can catch up on the re-runs though. Plus....Deadwood should be starting up soon....cocksuckers.



BC
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 1:31:21 PM EDT
I think the president it pretty realistic. Almost a foreshadowing of a Hilary presidency.


Remember when she admittted that she talked to Eleanor Roosevelt in the White House?
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 1:45:12 PM EDT
Apparently you live a life without imagination or faith, I feel sorry for you.
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 2:02:56 PM EDT
Lonegunman,

I agree with everything thing you just wrote. It was very well done and thought out.

That said, it's one of my favorite shows and I'll be counting the days until October.

Anyway you look at it ,it's better than a reality show where someone wins immunity by eating a horse rectum.

Link Posted: 3/12/2006 2:09:11 PM EDT
Best rant I've seen yet about BSG.

I feel the same way at times. That must be the draw of this show, people more fucked up than me, with a worse life. Makes me feel happy.

Link Posted: 3/12/2006 4:07:10 PM EDT
Although having seen just the first season, I pretty much agree - Excellent special effects and set designs, mediocre acting, and really, REALLY bad writing.
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 4:12:01 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 4:16:10 PM EDT
I take it the original post above wasn't copied word-for-word from TV Guide....
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 4:16:11 PM EDT
I haven't watched it. I get involved enough in Lost and 24, I don't need any more virtual crack.
Maybe after the series ends, I will buy the DVDs.
Link Posted: 3/12/2006 4:19:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By lonegunman:
But the characters are a total bunch of morons and not a single person on the writing staff has ever served a day in or read anything on any military in the history of humanity or any civilization under attack.




I disagree a little. It is not a "civilization under attack" - it is the completely disorganized and chaotic remnants of a civilization that was completely destroyed, with a complete hodgepodge of incompetent leaders, idiots, criminals, etc - with no common basis or experience.

I wouldn't be surprised if such a "real" situation also wouldn't result in some phenomenal fuck-ups and stupid decisions, as people who are completely out of their depth, in a totally unimaginable situation try to cope.


But yeah - the notion of settling on the planet, when they KNOW there are Cylon spies in the midsts, is retarded. However, keep in mind it was the democratic "will of the people" - and I'm not sure a show that points out how stupid people can be is necessarily completely unrealistic. Ask me agian when Hillary Clinton is president.
Link Posted: 3/13/2006 7:58:35 AM EDT

Apparently you live a life without imagination or faith, I feel sorry for you.


Actually, I like to imagine better writing, decision making and character development. Given the choices in programming, singing retards, ass kissers getting fired and people eating boiled balls and rectums or a show about dip shits trying to lie and decieve for a million bucks. This one is a winner.

You do know it isn't really about faith,,,right? It's about marketing and paychecks.


Link Posted: 3/13/2006 8:05:26 AM EDT
Vicious, but true.


Still enjoy it.
Link Posted: 3/13/2006 8:12:06 AM EDT
I gotta see that show now!

Link Posted: 3/13/2006 8:17:35 AM EDT
In other words, the survivors were from California.

I mean, seriously, can't you see the fuckwads today acting like that?
Link Posted: 3/13/2006 8:17:44 AM EDT

Originally Posted By MudBug:
Apparently you live a life without imagination or faith, I feel sorry for you.


Yeah, really . I mean,what do you want? Not trying to be mean or flame you in any way,but maybe you should stick with stuff you like. For instance,I recently picked up Stephen King's latest in the Dark Tower series and am having an extremly hard time following it and enjoying it.
Now his old stuff ( and even his first Dark Tower novel ) I can read and re-read and enjoy it. So maybe I'll just stick with that. See what I mean?
I like the new BSG ,but it does take some imagination to enjoy it.
Link Posted: 3/13/2006 8:18:03 AM EDT
It's called "Drama."

Like "adventure" is defined as someone in deep shit, far away from you.
Top Top