It was shortly after my  morning coffee and I was in one of the stalls here at the office when the stall door next to me opens up and I hear a man sit down on the toilet seat.  Well, he took this incredibly discgusting sounding shit, long and very load.  After a while he finishes up, flushes the toilet then proceeds to leave the rest room without washing his hands. I was like WTF, that is so frigging disgusting and I have no idea who the hell it is.  I find myself looking at peoples shoes to try to identify the perp so as to not ever shake his hand....

Same where I work. When I leave the bathroom after washing up I use the paper towel to open the door. People are nasty.

Quoted: Same where I work. When I leave the bathroom after washing up I use the paper towel to open the door. People are nasty.

I do the same.  I absolutely hate public bathrooms where you are forced to touch a door handle after you're done with your business and wash your hands.  At the bars I frequent they are like this and when I'm in there I'd guess that only 50% of the people wash their hands, the others just zip it up, grab the handle and open the door.  By the end of the night there's a nice little pile of paper towels behind the door that I use to open it, then just drop them.  

Quoted: Same where I work. When I leave the bathroom after washing up I use the paper towel to open the door. People are nasty.

Same here...people are pigs.

I try to avoid using public restrooms unless absolutely necessary.

I cant believe this was posted TODAY.....  I try to mind my own business when in the stall but damn.

we have 10 stalls in a row and I'm in the second to the last.  Some sorry bastard comes in and uses the dumper right effing next to me!  10 stalls and nobody but the 2 of us in the restroom.  Then he proceeds to take a nasty dump, grunt and groan and wheeeeze like he's birthing a calf.  Then I notice his size 14 wing tips as he stands up and faces the can.  I hear the toilet paper buzzing off the roll followed by a loud wiping his ass sound.  This repeats 2 or 3 more times.  Finally the whacko leaves the restroom w/o washing his paws.  It's like what is the point in me washing my grubby mits if Mr. Stand and Wipe is going to smear his fecal matter all over the handle!?!?!?!  Get me the hell out of here already....

who the hell stands up and faces his fresh business to wipe his ASS?  

Quoted: Quoted: Same where I work. When I leave the bathroom after washing up I use the paper towel to open the door. People are nasty. I do the same.  I absolutely hate public bathrooms where you are forced to touch a door handle after you're done with your business and wash your hands.  At the bars I frequent they are like this and when I'm in there I'd guess that only 50% of the people wash their hands, the others just zip it up, grab the handle and open the door.  By the end of the night there's a nice little pile of paper towels behind the door that I use to open it, then just drop them.

Why not just toss them, instead of creating a hassle for the staff of the establishment?

Little kids know to wash their hands, why can't grown adults do the same?

In high school I did an experiment involving petri dishes and swabs.  Us students were allowed to go where we wished to collect the data.  I chose one of the restrooms.  I swabbed the toilet seat and the
faucet handle.  There were more bacteria on the faucet than on the seat. Gross

Society amazes me. And disgusts at the same time.

Sometimes I hear people wiping their ass but it sounds like they are wiping back and forth... nasty

Quoted: Sometimes I hear people wiping their ass but it sounds like they are wiping back and forth... nasty

I hear that all the f*cking time.    What good does rubbing the poop into your ass do?

I dont wash my hands...and I never get sick either. Haha.

so, did he come up to you with a big grin and want to shake your hand?  I see the handshaking in churches a great way to spread diseases.

Totally OT, but for just a fleeting second, I thought the title to this thread was "toilet HOBBITS"...Don't ask me why...

Quoted: Quoted: Sometimes I hear people wiping their ass but it sounds like they are wiping back and forth... nasty I hear that all the f*cking time.    What good does rubbing the poop into your ass do?

yes yes yes!

what the hell is that all about..........scrubbing it almost.....i have heard that....

Quoted: I cant believe this was posted TODAY.....  I try to mind my own business when in the stall but damn. we have 10 stalls in a row and I'm in the second to the last.  Some sorry bastard comes in and uses the dumper right effing next to me!  10 stalls and nobody but the 2 of us in the restroom.  Then he proceeds to take a nasty dump, grunt and groan and wheeeeze like he's birthing a calf.  Then I notice his size 14 wing tips as he stands up and faces the can.  I hear the toilet paper buzzing off the roll followed by a loud wiping his ass sound.  This repeats 2 or 3 more times.  Finally the whacko leaves the restroom w/o washing his paws.  It's like what is the point in me washing my grubby mits if Mr. Stand and Wipe is going to smear his fecal matter all over the handle!?!?!?!  Get me the hell out of here already.... who the hell stands up and faces his fresh business to wipe his ASS?

I hate people who don't understand the rules of stall/urinal selection.

Take the stall that maximizes the distance between you and any other person, and minimizes the chances of the next person coming in picking the stall next to you.

Quoted: Quoted: I cant believe this was posted TODAY.....  I try to mind my own business when in the stall but damn. we have 10 stalls in a row and I'm in the second to the last.  Some sorry bastard comes in and uses the dumper right effing next to me!  10 stalls and nobody but the 2 of us in the restroom.  Then he proceeds to take a nasty dump, grunt and groan and wheeeeze like he's birthing a calf.  Then I notice his size 14 wing tips as he stands up and faces the can.  I hear the toilet paper buzzing off the roll followed by a loud wiping his ass sound.  This repeats 2 or 3 more times.  Finally the whacko leaves the restroom w/o washing his paws.  It's like what is the point in me washing my grubby mits if Mr. Stand and Wipe is going to smear his fecal matter all over the handle!?!?!?!  Get me the hell out of here already.... who the hell stands up and faces his fresh business to wipe his ASS?   I hate people who don't understand the rules of stall/urinal selection. Take the stall that maximizes the distance between you and any other person, and minimizes the chances of the next person coming in picking the stall next to you.

Amen RB - there are rules!

I take these unwritten rules so seriously I feel it necessary to explain why I was in the second to last and not the last dumper.  It is the handicapped throne and it will work in a pinch but I cant stand my feet swinging while I'm sitting there.  So I took the second position which i was ok with given the small amount of traffic in there.  That doofis wrecked my whole experience!!!!!!!!

Quoted: what the hell is that all about..........scrubbing it almost.....i have heard that....

+1

It is already disturbing as hell to be pissing and hear a guy wipe his ass, but then to hear "shhh, shhh, shhh" like he is finish sanding some crown moulding.

No wonder Preperation H is on the market...

Quoted: Same where I work. When I leave the bathroom after washing up I use the paper towel to open the door. People are nasty.

 

+1,000,000  



_______________________________  

 

Quoted: Quoted: what the hell is that all about..........scrubbing it almost.....i have heard that.... +1 It is already disturbing as hell to be pissing and hear a guy wipe his ass, but then to hear "shhh, shhh, shhh" like he is finish sanding some crown moulding. No wonder Preperation H is on the market...

Oh man ... that made me laugh!

Quick glance and I thought the title was toilet hobbits.  Interesting pictures conjured from that one.

this is a damn good thread!

My personal gripe is, you know it's bad enough that I have to take an emergency shit in the first place.... I think the very least an establishment can do, is assure that the paper supplied is of a reasonable grit! I mean, I really HATE having to wipe my ass with 120 grit coarse

I'd like very much to not have to touch anything in there also. In Canada, it's almost like restroom civilization has evolved beyond the current standards in the USA.  In most public facilities, you walk thru a small maze, basically... theres no door, just a very short hallway to obstruct viewing. So once inside, the only door is on the stall, not so bad. The toilet flushes automatically, sinks automatically turn on and off, soap is auto dispensed, and so are the paper towels. Thats nice!

I also believe we need a new rule. Every single bathroom in this country should be equipped with an ionizer, mandatory and effective immediately. I don't want to smell the last guy's feces, and I don't want nobody smelling mine. Ionizers are amazingly effective at removing odors - fast.

Quoted: Totally OT, but for just a fleeting second, I thought the title to this thread was "toilet HOBBITS"...Don't ask me why...

Because the original poster can't spell "habits".

You guys wipe?

It's a good idea to carry a candy bar around to deal with people like that.  Wipe the chocolate on your hands and then ask them if there was any paper in their stall.

I never use the pooper at work.

I don't use public bathrooms to take dumps.

Quoted: <snip>....as to not ever shake his hand....

One reason why I will not shake hands.

I'm sure all of the tales I've heard in this thread are true, but I have no idea myself. I keep taking a shit to an absolute minimum at any public restroom.

I've never done it in a bar or resturant or anything like that. I've had a few...very few manditory visits to the shitter at work, but I was lucky enough to have been alone each time.

I take care of that every morning BEFORE I leave the house to go to work so that I don't have to subject myself to the human pigs that use the shitter every single day at work. I'll be late for work before I'll use the work shitter.

Why would anyone choose to use public or work shitters on a regular basis?


Everytime I see some jackass go into the shitter in a resturant I want to kick them in the face repeatedly. Why in the fuck would you need to use the shitter in a resturant? You're only going to be there an hour or so, surely these dickheads can what until they get home.

You want to try something really disgusting.

If you have a plastic toilet seat at home, do this.

Don't use any water or soap, just take a dry piece of toilet paper and scrub the seat until it's slippery clean. It's a good way to tell how dirty your toilet seat really is. If the toilet paper doesn't slide easily, you got a heavy build up of ass particles. If it's really dirty, you may even be able to see the dirt on the toilet paper.

I try my best not to shit in pulbic, and I always put a layer of toilet paper over the toilet seat. I always grab the door as low as possible on the handle.

In middle school we did a petri dish fungi growth test. I won it by swabbing a toilet seat and the bathroom door handle. The next closest amount of particle growth came from a baseball bat used through out the gym classes. Just some food for thought.

Quoted: I'm sure all of the tales I've heard in this thread are true, but I have no idea myself. I keep taking a shit to an absolute minimum at any public restroom. I've never done it in a bar or resturant or anything like that. I've had a few...very few manditory visits to the shitter at work, but I was lucky enough to have been alone each time. I take care of that every morning BEFORE I leave the house to go to work so that I don't have to subject myself to the human pigs that use the shitter every single day at work. I'll be late for work before I'll use the work shitter. Why would anyone choose to use public or work shitters on a regular basis? Everytime I see some jackass go into the shitter in a resturant I want to kick them in the face repeatedly. Why in the fuck would you need to use the shitter in a resturant? You're only going to be there an hour or so, surely these dickheads can what until they get home.

So anyone with digestive problems that require the use of a public toilet is a jackass?  Grow up.  Sounds like you are a bit anal retentive.  I hope you are joking about 'kicking them in the face.'  If not, I'm sorry for you and your family.

Quoted: Quoted: I'm sure all of the tales I've heard in this thread are true, but I have no idea myself. I keep taking a shit to an absolute minimum at any public restroom. I've never done it in a bar or resturant or anything like that. I've had a few...very few manditory visits to the shitter at work, but I was lucky enough to have been alone each time. I take care of that every morning BEFORE I leave the house to go to work so that I don't have to subject myself to the human pigs that use the shitter every single day at work. I'll be late for work before I'll use the work shitter. Why would anyone choose to use public or work shitters on a regular basis? Everytime I see some jackass go into the shitter in a resturant I want to kick them in the face repeatedly. Why in the fuck would you need to use the shitter in a resturant? You're only going to be there an hour or so, surely these dickheads can what until they get home. So anyone with digestive problems that require the use of a public toilet is a jackass?  Grow up.  Sounds like you are a bit anal retentive.  I hope you are joking about 'kicking them in the face.'  If not, I'm sorry for you and your family.

Excellent point.

No I'm not joking!

Using public shitters regularly is fucking wrong!

You must be one of those jackasses that uses the shitter no matter where you are, I feel sorry for you and your family. Try waiting until you get home. It's not that hard to do.





Then start kicking away tough guy.  When you get sentenced to prison and you get your shit pushed in, you can report back about how easy it is to control your bowels.

Quoted: Quoted: <snip>....as to not ever shake his hand.... One reason why I will not shake hands.

Does the other reason have anything to do with a personality disorder?

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: <snip>....as to not ever shake his hand.... One reason why I will not shake hands. Does the other reason have anything to do with a personality disorder?

It is most gratifying to have ones reputation precede them, don't you think?

In all seriousness, at my late great age, I do not really care to shake hands with *insert whomever* / yard workers, salesman (salesperson for the brain dead, PC), business owner(s), neighbour(s). As has been typed, many individuals are filthy, unless I know the person and their habits, I will not shake hands.

Quoted: I don't use public bathrooms to take dumps.

Me neither, except in emergencies, which I had at work a few days ago, the nasty pure water diahrea... It was early, the place was still clean, no one else in there, not to bad...

When I usually go in to use a urinal, I hear (and smell) some really nasty stuff from the stalls... Some guys head in same time with a paper under their arm, broadcasting to the whole office, I will be taking a big dump now...

Quoted: Quoted: I don't use public bathrooms to take dumps. Me neither, except in emergencies, which I had at work a few days ago, the nasty pure water diahrea...

You could have made your own version of the tubgirl pic.

An oldie but goodie....

"How To Poop At Work"

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all
kicked back in our cubicles and
suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as
we try to convince ourselves otherwise,
the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate
pooping at work,following is the 2006 Survival Guide
for taking a dump at work. Memorize these
definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.

ESCAPEE.
Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or
forcing a poop in a stall.
This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment.
This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen
police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge
it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter
in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee,
it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes
both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE).
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun
pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this
should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has
left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just
occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH.
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone
of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an
undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has
to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing
the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME.
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you
have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable
moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is
best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the
use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER.
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You
will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a
newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office
for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN).
Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency
pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor
the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE
HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS.
Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you
can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the
opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex
entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR:
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall
and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and
vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this
occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way
you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH.
Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the
bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a
WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when
used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE.
Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd
Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt
that the stall is occupied. If you hear an  Astaire, leave the
bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON.
Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet
water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon
coming on, create a diversion. See  CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET.
Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes
in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a
Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TED.
Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could
spend extended  lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on
the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the
crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the
bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom
attendees.

FLY BY.
Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in
and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom,
leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER.
People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into
the bathroom.

pansies

Quoted: Same where I work. When I leave the bathroom after washing up I use the paper towel to open the door. People are nasty.

+1

some guy at work saves it til he gets to work, punches in then heads to the crapper...

well, this will end soon

We have a guy at work who takes the paper into the crapper with him and when he is done, he leaves it on a lunchroom table.


Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Quoted: Same where I work. When I leave the bathroom after washing up I use the paper towel to open the door. People are nasty.

+1.  If I'm using a public restroom I pull the paper towel handle prior to washing my hands so that I don't have to touch anything in the restroom after washing up, I also use the towel to shut off the faucet.

Quoted: Quoted: Same where I work. When I leave the bathroom after washing up I use the paper towel to open the door. People are nasty. +1.  If I'm using a public restroom I pull the paper towel handle prior to washing my hands so that I don't have to touch anything in the restroom after washing up, I also use the towel to shut off the faucet.

So the paper towel dispenser handle is contaminated too

You never know.....  Someone pisses on their hand and just wants to wipe if off, maybe???  You just never know.

Quoted: Quoted: <snip>....as to not ever shake his hand.... One reason why I will not shake hands.

+1

Quoted: I cant believe this was posted TODAY.....  I try to mind my own business when in the stall but damn. we have 10 stalls in a row and I'm in the second to the last.  Some sorry bastard comes in and uses the dumper right effing next to me!  10 stalls and nobody but the 2 of us in the restroom.  Then he proceeds to take a nasty dump, grunt and groan and wheeeeze like he's birthing a calf. Then I notice his size 14 wing tips as he stands up and faces the can.  I hear the toilet paper buzzing off the roll followed by a loud wiping his ass sound.  This repeats 2 or 3 more times.  Finally the whacko leaves the restroom w/o washing his paws.  It's like what is the point in me washing my grubby mits if Mr. Stand and Wipe is going to smear his fecal matter all over the handle!?!?!?!  Get me the hell out of here already.... who the hell stands up and faces his fresh business to wipe his ASS?

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Same where I work. When I leave the bathroom after washing up I use the paper towel to open the door. People are nasty. I do the same.  I absolutely hate public bathrooms where you are forced to touch a door handle after you're done with your business and wash your hands.  At the bars I frequent they are like this and when I'm in there I'd guess that only 50% of the people wash their hands, the others just zip it up, grab the handle and open the door.  By the end of the night there's a nice little pile of paper towels behind the door that I use to open it, then just drop them.   Why not just toss them, instead of creating a hassle for the staff of the establishment? Little kids know to wash their hands, why can't grown adults do the same? In high school I did an experiment involving petri dishes and swabs.  Us students were allowed to go where we wished to collect the data.  I chose one of the restrooms.  I swabbed the toilet seat and the faucet handle.  There were more bacteria on the faucet than on the seat. Gross Society amazes me. And disgusts at the same time.

Deej86.....if the trash can is no where near the door then you really have no choice. You would think places would keep at lease a small trash can near the door, but they dont.

Heres what I keep with me in case I have to use a public tiolet.



8x6 in.
Individually wrapped wipes.
Kills 99.99% of germs.
Clean, sanitize & moisturize on the go.
With moisturizers, Vitamins A & E, and Aloe.
Textured wipe for better cleaning.
Generously sized wipe.
Made in USA.

There should be hand sanitizer in all public bathrooms.

The ionizer is an interesting idea.....but the negative ion bonds to the other particles and they fall to the ground as a dust...........

and why is a courtsey flush such a lost art??? Who wants to sit there marinating in their own stink????or god forbid, someone elses stink

I carry a small bottle of hand sanitizer and use it if I use a public restroom. Also I use a paper towel when I open the door then throw it away in a trashcan outside restroom.

Quoted: Same where I work. When I leave the bathroom after washing up I use the paper towel to open the door. People are nasty.

I saw someone doing that once and though it was a great idea; I've been doing the same ever since.

Quoted: Quoted: Same where I work. When I leave the bathroom after washing up I use the paper towel to open the door. People are nasty. +1.  If I'm using a public restroom I pull the paper towel handle prior to washing my hands so that I don't have to touch anything in the restroom after washing up, I also use the towel to shut off the faucet.

+1.  I can't believe that the maintainers of public facilities have not learned to put the trash can (without a lid) behind the door.  I hate trash cans with a spring-loaded door.  I am not going to touch that thing either.

who the hell stands up and faces his fresh business to wipe his ASS?

That way you can admire the size of your accomplishment.  

Actually, can you explain the hand in the toilet method? It's a bit harder for guys than it is for women, because, well, just think about it.