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Posted: 3/7/2006 12:36:25 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/7/2006 12:36:52 PM EDT by BeetleBailey]

The first one to say "hookers and blow" is an airsoft hippie.

Now give me some real suggestions of mayhem...

ETA: A shooting trip Saturday morning is just a given
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:38:26 PM EDT
Beer and twinkes for every meal!
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:39:37 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/7/2006 12:46:54 PM EDT by all4freedom]
Let me be the first to say...HOOKERS AND BLOW! Gun cleaning in underwear, bathrobes and meals consisting only of meat and taters.

Damn it, I'm an airsoft hippie! Shit!

When I get a second away from the better half, I like to just relax, do some shooting, look over a few reads (gun related of course) and just do a little bit of nothing.
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:39:47 PM EDT
probably whatever you want to do
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:40:13 PM EDT
Go shootin with a buddy & take a BBQ grill and some beer...
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:40:23 PM EDT
WHERE IS SHE GOING?
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:40:24 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/7/2006 12:41:54 PM EDT by photoman]

Originally Posted By BeetleBailey:
The first one to say "hookers and blow" is an airsoft hippie.

Now give me some real suggestions of mayhem...

ETA: A shooting trip Saturday morning is just a given



Strippers and Meth



PARTY AT BEETLEBAILEY'S HOUSE!!!
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:40:52 PM EDT
Read the book of John.

Then call Dillon and order a 550b all set for .223.
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:47:17 PM EDT


AND

Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:48:05 PM EDT
Get drunk and play Xbox?

Watch movies?

Masturbate like an 8th grader that just figured it out?

I vote for get drunk and play Xbox..
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:48:29 PM EDT
Buy a new gun.

Then clean her house so she doesn't freak when she finds out.
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:49:28 PM EDT
Get a lap dance
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:50:45 PM EDT
How about clean the tub and power wash the siding?

just a thought.
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:52:30 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/7/2006 12:53:25 PM EDT by BeetleBailey]
I was thinking abuot renting Jarhead

> Daisy, she's in school so I do 90% of the housework. This weekend is a NO HOUSEWORK weekend
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:53:28 PM EDT
Pizza,ribs,beer.
Then after breakfast,hit the range.
Repeat as needed.
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:54:42 PM EDT
Does she have a sister??
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:55:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By BeetleBailey:
I was thinking abuot renting Jarhead

> Daisy, she's in school so I do 90% of the housework. This weekend is a NO HOUSEWORK weekend



oh, well, then FEEL FREE to mess the place up.

Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:55:49 PM EDT

Originally Posted By bigthicket:
Does she have a sister??



yes, two. One married w/baby, the other jailbait.
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:56:12 PM EDT
I think it was you telling us about the Muslim protest in Alabama....you know what to do...it should only take part of your morning.
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:56:19 PM EDT
This actually made me think, Beetle...

My BOYFRIEND is out of town all weekend at a gun show!

what to do...what to do....

think think think

Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:59:53 PM EDT
Get her car flame-painted.

Game camera in the bathroom.
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 1:02:49 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Nephilim:
I think it was you telling us about the Muslim protest in Alabama....you know what to do...it should only take part of your morning.



yeah, that was me

Daisy - come on over
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 1:06:37 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 1:07:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By BeetleBailey:
The first one to say "hookers and blow" is an airsoft hippie.




How about just smoke some crack and shoot airsoft?
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 1:08:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Aimless:
This is usually when I (the bachelor guy) get the call that married guy wants to "whoop it up." Which usually ends up in married guy falling asleep in his beer and me having to drive him 2 hours home because he forgot to let out the dog, oh in a blizzard. Also throw in a near fist fight with some of the big city police over the dead turkey married guy found because it (I swear) flew into the side of a skyscraper in the middle of the night next to a bar we were standing in front of and fell at his feet. Why the police decided they should take this mangy turkey when they arrived makes no more sense to me than why married guy was contemplating grabbing the turkey and making a run for it (he did find it first, however the turkey went home with the big city police, who I expect threw it away, they did not strike me as the "know how to clean a turkey" types).



Hell, I'm hanging out with you this weekend, Aimless. You're a FUNGI!
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 1:11:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Aimless:
This is usually when I (the bachelor guy) get the call that married guy wants to "whoop it up." Which usually ends up in married guy falling asleep in his beer and me having to drive him 2 hours home because he forgot to let out the dog, oh in a blizzard. Also throw in a near fist fight with some of the big city police over the dead turkey married guy found because it (I swear) flew into the side of a skyscraper in the middle of the night next to a bar we were standing in front of and fell at his feet. Why the police decided they should take this mangy turkey when they arrived makes no more sense to me than why married guy was contemplating grabbing the turkey and making a run for it (he did find it first, however the turkey went home with the big city police, who I expect threw it away, they did not strike me as the "know how to clean a turkey" types).




Tell me about that shit..

Everytime his wife's gone its the turkeys.
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 1:14:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Ghostchild:

Originally Posted By Aimless:
This is usually when I (the bachelor guy) get the call that married guy wants to "whoop it up." Which usually ends up in married guy falling asleep in his beer and me having to drive him 2 hours home because he forgot to let out the dog, oh in a blizzard. Also throw in a near fist fight with some of the big city police over the dead turkey married guy found because it (I swear) flew into the side of a skyscraper in the middle of the night next to a bar we were standing in front of and fell at his feet. Why the police decided they should take this mangy turkey when they arrived makes no more sense to me than why married guy was contemplating grabbing the turkey and making a run for it (he did find it first, however the turkey went home with the big city police, who I expect threw it away, they did not strike me as the "know how to clean a turkey" types).




Tell me about that shit..

Everytime his wife's gone its the turkeys.



Link Posted: 3/7/2006 1:15:40 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/7/2006 1:16:59 PM EDT by glk31]

Originally Posted By daisywench:
This actually made me think, Beetle...

My BOYFRIEND is out of town all weekend at a gun show!

what to do...what to do....

think think think



You should head on over to Beetle's house, it will save him a phone call....and possibly a night in jail....
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 1:17:11 PM EDT

Wife will be out of town this weekend. What to do, what to do....


Just shave your body head to toe. You know you want to. What better opportunity?
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 1:19:12 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 1:19:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By BeetleBailey:

Originally Posted By Ghostchild:

Originally Posted By Aimless:
This is usually when I (the bachelor guy) get the call that married guy wants to "whoop it up." Which usually ends up in married guy falling asleep in his beer and me having to drive him 2 hours home because he forgot to let out the dog, oh in a blizzard. Also throw in a near fist fight with some of the big city police over the dead turkey married guy found because it (I swear) flew into the side of a skyscraper in the middle of the night next to a bar we were standing in front of and fell at his feet. Why the police decided they should take this mangy turkey when they arrived makes no more sense to me than why married guy was contemplating grabbing the turkey and making a run for it (he did find it first, however the turkey went home with the big city police, who I expect threw it away, they did not strike me as the "know how to clean a turkey" types).




Tell me about that shit..

Everytime his wife's gone its the turkeys.




Link Posted: 3/7/2006 1:22:42 PM EDT
When I saw this thread I just said Hookers and Blow even before I opened it up to read it. Anyway, If the my Wife was going out of town I'd probably be at the range for 2 days straight.
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 1:23:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By BeetleBailey:
The first one to say "hookers and blow" is an airsoft hippie.

Now give me some real suggestions of mayhem...

ETA: A shooting trip Saturday morning is just a given




duh!

Enjoy the silence.
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 1:28:41 PM EDT
A more serious answer,

Spend a few hours looking through those neat hardware/gadget/surplus/gun shops that you rarely get to.
Go see a movie (don't rent, get out of the house)
Have a 3 hour nap.
Treat yourself to a good lunch or dinner.
Have a no-rush, no schedule, no deadline day.
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 1:32:43 PM EDT
Get up, and then get drunk (not sloppy drunk, just tipsy) and then go back to sleep.

Rent rambo I and II (III sucked am I right?)
and HEAT, and BHD and have a all guns all the time marathon.

Link Posted: 3/7/2006 1:44:57 PM EDT
Leave the toilet seat up.

Drink directly out of the milk carton.

Pizza boxes stacked high on the coffee table.

Clothes and underwear everywhere.

Rent a bunch of porn off the satellite.

Go through your wife's underwear drawer looking for goodies. Maybe buy her some new stuff and secretly plant it in her drawer for her to find and wear for you.

Call up some of your old girlfriends and run up a big phone bill.

Eat cookies in your living room.

Clean all your guns on the kitchen table.

Go buy something quasi expensive that you really want but don't need and have it in plain view when your wife gets home.

I'll repost if I think of anything else.

Good luck, and have fun.
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 5:09:41 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ghengiskhabb:

Wife will be out of town this weekend. What to do, what to do....


Just shave your body head to toe. You know you want to. What better opportunity?



No hair but whats on my head
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 7:50:42 PM EDT
Maybe you can shoot the fucking vacuum cleaner.

Post photos.

John
Link Posted: 3/8/2006 6:07:59 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/8/2006 6:11:53 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/8/2006 6:16:30 AM EDT

Originally Posted By daisywench:
How about clean the tub and power wash the siding?

just a thought.



Or just powerwash the tub.

And the bathroom.

And the kitchen.

And the dog.

Note. Laundry can be powerwashed while on the line. Think of the time savings in that event alone.

(Guess who just got a powerwasher?)
Link Posted: 3/8/2006 6:21:02 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Another_Dude:
images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B00004RCNH.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

AND

images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000664HP.03._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

I don't care who you are, That Sh--t's funny.....
Link Posted: 3/8/2006 6:26:48 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ClayP:
www.traversee.qc.ca/images/photos/1955-1999/Vaseline.jpg



I am deeply concerned....
Link Posted: 3/8/2006 7:04:20 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ClayP:
www.traversee.qc.ca/images/photos/1955-1999/Vaseline.jpg



Why on Earth do you have that picture ?
Link Posted: 3/8/2006 7:04:52 AM EDT
We expect to see some dinner pics
Link Posted: 3/8/2006 7:49:41 AM EDT
Tittie Bars...and bring lots of cash
Link Posted: 3/8/2006 7:57:29 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/8/2006 7:57:44 AM EDT by photokirk]

Originally Posted By Surf:

Originally Posted By daisywench:
How about clean the tub and power wash the siding?

just a thought.



Or just powerwash the tub.

And the bathroom.

And the kitchen.

And the dog.

Note. Laundry can be powerwashed while on the line. Think of the time savings in that event alone.

(Guess who just got a powerwasher?)




I used the leafblower to sweep the kitchen once. She was not amused. The kids thought it was cool. The cats hid under the bed for days,
Link Posted: 3/8/2006 9:17:12 AM EDT
Assemble the shelves she's been wanting. Rake the leaves. Vacuum. Keep the house in some semblance of order - no beer bottles lying in the corner with half empty containers of Chinese food.
Link Posted: 3/8/2006 9:21:10 AM EDT
DRINK MILK RIGHT OUT OF THE CARTON!

DON'T SHOWER, DON'T SHAVE!

WIPE COOKIE CRUMS ON YOUR SHIRT!

GO F**KIN' HOG WILD! FART WHEN EVER YOU WANT!
Link Posted: 3/8/2006 9:24:03 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/8/2006 9:24:30 AM EDT by daisywench]

Originally Posted By photokirk:

Originally Posted By Surf:

Originally Posted By daisywench:
How about clean the tub and power wash the siding?

just a thought.



Or just powerwash the tub.

And the bathroom.

And the kitchen.

And the dog.

Note. Laundry can be powerwashed while on the line. Think of the time savings in that event alone.

(Guess who just got a powerwasher?)




I used the leafblower to sweep the kitchen once. She was not amused. The kids thought it was cool. The cats hid under the bed for days,



Now THAT'S FUNNY!
Link Posted: 3/8/2006 10:03:18 AM EDT

Originally Posted By rn45:
DRINK MILK RIGHT OUT OF THE CARTON!

DON'T SHOWER, DON'T SHAVE!

WIPE COOKIE CRUMS ON YOUR SHIRT!

GO F**KIN' HOG WILD! FART WHEN EVER YOU WANT!




I must be alright in life. I can do this when my wife IS at home.
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