A short while ago, I was at my girlfriend's parent's house for dinner.  Nice time.  Good meal.  Interesting conversation.

At one time, the conversation degraded (in a good natured way) to sibling rivalries and fights with the parents.  Yeah, my girlfriends sister was there...and she's hot too.  I'm mostly German and then basically a Mutt otherwise (including Indian...Feather...not Dot...) but...well hell...

Horton Hears a Who!
My Girlfriend is Half-A-Jew!!

...from her mother's side.  Full Bull Jew.  Her mother, according to my girlfriend, could be described as a "Super Jew" in a strange and twisted anti-semitic attitude my girlfriend seems to take on from time to time.  Go figure.

I've always found, for the most part, Jewish Chicks to be Hotter n' Shit, by the way.

Hava Nagila, baby.  My girlfriend doesn't understand, and thinks I have a sick perversion for big noses.

The Stereotypical Motherly Jewishisms apply fully in her mother's demeanor.  I love her.

She kinda reminds me of my Mom.  She ain't a Jew but mostly German...but might as well be a Jew in her mannerisms.

Girlfriend's Daddy is Full Bull Austrian...FWIW...

ANYWAYS...like I said...the conversation at the dinner table degraded into sibling rivalries and fights with parents.  Apparently, my GF, in one of her occasional lapses into J.A.P.-ness in her high school years, got into a fight with Mommy and threatened to leave home, and stormed out of the house.  Her mother, not skipping a beat, yelled out at her as she was storming away....

"Ya wanna leave?  Then get outta my house you damn J.A.P.!  That's right!  Drive away in the car that Daddy bought for you!!!"

Wow!  Whilst laughing my ass off, The "Super Jew" shot me a seductive smile which caught me off guard in a weird way.

Political correctness has not infiltrated everywhere.

Thought this might be a funny tale to share.

Thank you for your time.

Jewish chicks are hot, I don't care what my girlfriend says.

being around when a friend/girlfriend gets into a really nasty fight with their parents are probably some of the most awkward situations i've ever been in.

you know it's a good idea to shut up and not get involved, but its difficult to decide whether it's best to just stand there quietly like nothing's happening or to excuse yourself and execute a tactical retreat to the bathroom or another room until the cessation of hostilities....

whats J.A.P. stand for anyway?

I DEMAND THIS THREAD BE LOCKED AS IT PEEKS TOO DEEP INTO CERTAIN RITUALS

J = Jewish
A= American
P= Princess

Quoted: I've always found, for the most part, Jewish Chicks to be Hotter n' Shit, by the way. Hava Nagila, baby.  My girlfriend doesn't understand, and thinks I have a sick perversion for big noses.

That cracked me up!

Quoted: whats J.A.P. stand for anyway?

Jewish American Princess

Translates easily into:  "Spoiled Brat"

Very good story...I'm still smiling!

HH

My good friends are too, and it is a riot to listen into their conversations with family. Makes a sitcom/soap-opera look poorly written.

I didn't make that up either.  She really thinks I have a fetish for a big ol' beak.  Maybe I do.  She, and her sister, one night threatened to get a nose job one night.  I told them I'd break it again myself if they did.  I then related that I thought Jennifer Grey as Hot as Shit in Ferris Bueller's Day off and in Dirty Dancing (okay, fuck off, I only watched Dirty Dancing because I thought Ms. Grey was hot) but then fucked herself up with the nose job.  Stupid bitch.  What was she thinking?

Hava Nagila, Baby.

Quoted: Quoted: I've always found, for the most part, Jewish Chicks to be Hotter n' Shit, by the way. Hava Nagila, baby.  My girlfriend doesn't understand, and thinks I have a sick perversion for big noses. That cracked me up!

Zippy's next thread:

"so, I slept with my girlfriend's mom..."

Quoted: Zippy's next thread: "so, I slept with my girlfriend's mom..."

You forget the required:Hava Nagila, Baby!!...

Quoted: I'm mostly German.... My Girlfriend is Half-A-Jew!!

Now, be honest, have you ever looked at her, then the oven, and been tempted to toss her in?

Quoted: I didn't make that up either.  She really thinks I have a fetish for a big ol' beak.  Maybe I do.  She, and her sister, one night threatened to get a nose job one night.  I told them I'd break it again myself if they did.  I then related that I thought Jennifer Grey as Hot as Shit in Ferris Bueller's Day off and in Dirty Dancing (okay, fuck off, I only watched Dirty Dancing because I thought Ms. Grey was hot) but then fucked herself up with the nose job.  Stupid bitch.  What was she thinking? Hava Nagila, Baby.

Dude, she was in "Red Dawn" too.  Not so hot in that one, but still, How can you forget "Red Dawn"?

With that, I present the wisdom of Frank Zappa:

"Jewish Princess"  By Frank Zappa I want a nasty little jewish princess With long phony nails and a hairdo that rinses A horny little jewish princess With a garlic aroma that could level Tacoma Lonely inside Well, she can swallow my pride I want a hairy little jewish princess With a brand new nose, who knows where it goes I want a steamy little jewish princess With over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums I don’t want no troll I just want a yemenite hole I want a darling little jewish princess Who don’t know shit about cooking and is arrogant looking A vicious little jewish princess To specifically happen with a pee-pee that’s snappin’ All up inside I just want a princess to ride Awright, back to the top...everybody twist I want a funky little jewish princess A grinder; a bumper, with a pre-moistened dumper A brazen little jewish princess With titanic tits, and sand-blasted zits She can even be poor So long as she does it with four on the floor (vapor-lock) I want a dainty little jewish princess With a couple of sisters who can raise a few blisters A fragile little jewish princess With roumanian thighs, who weasels ’n’ lies For two or three nights Won’t someone send me a princess who bites Won’t someone send me a princess who bites Won’t someone send me a princess who bites Won’t someone send me a princess who bites

Quoted: Quoted: I'm mostly German.... My Girlfriend is Half-A-Jew!! Now, be honest, have you ever looked at her, then the oven, and been tempted to toss her in?

Oh!


SHIT!

...from her mother's side.  Full Bull Jew.  Her mother, according to my girlfriend, could be described as a "Super Jew" in a strange and twisted anti-semitic attitude my girlfriend seems to take on from time to time.  Go figure. .

Quoted: Quoted: I'm mostly German.... My Girlfriend is Half-A-Jew!! Now, be honest, have you ever looked at her, then the oven, and been tempted to toss her in?

That ain't right, man.....





Funny, but not right.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I'm mostly German.... My Girlfriend is Half-A-Jew!! Now, be honest, have you ever looked at her, then the oven, and been tempted to toss her in? That ain't right, man.....

Well, in fairness, I'm half German and half hillbilly. I'm often at odds with the kraut side, who desperately wants to gas the other half.

Quoted: With that, I present the wisdom of Frank Zappa: "Jewish Princess"  By Frank Zappa I want a nasty little jewish princess With long phony nails and a hairdo that rinses A horny little jewish princess With a garlic aroma that could level Tacoma Lonely inside Well, she can swallow my pride I want a hairy little jewish princess With a brand new nose, who knows where it goes I want a steamy little jewish princess With over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums I don’t want no troll I just want a yemenite hole I want a darling little jewish princess Who don’t know shit about cooking and is arrogant looking A vicious little jewish princess To specifically happen with a pee-pee that’s snappin’ All up inside I just want a princess to ride Awright, back to the top...everybody twist I want a funky little jewish princess A grinder; a bumper, with a pre-moistened dumper A brazen little jewish princess With titanic tits, and sand-blasted zits She can even be poor So long as she does it with four on the floor (vapor-lock) I want a dainty little jewish princess With a couple of sisters who can raise a few blisters A fragile little jewish princess With roumanian thighs, who weasels ’n’ lies For two or three nights Won’t someone send me a princess who bites Won’t someone send me a princess who bites Won’t someone send me a princess who bites Won’t someone send me a princess who bites

Almost sounds like The BloodHound Gang.

Quoted: I didn't make that up either.  She really thinks I have a fetish for a big ol' beak.  Maybe I do.  She, and her sister, one night threatened to get a nose job one night.  I told them I'd break it again myself if they did.  I then related that I thought Jennifer Grey as Hot as Shit in Ferris Bueller's Day off and in Dirty Dancing (okay, fuck off, I only watched Dirty Dancing because I thought Ms. Grey was hot) but then fucked herself up with the nose job.  Stupid bitch.  What was she thinking? Hava Nagila, Baby. Quoted: Quoted: I've always found, for the most part, Jewish Chicks to be Hotter n' Shit, by the way. Hava Nagila, baby.  My girlfriend doesn't understand, and thinks I have a sick perversion for big noses. That cracked me up!

Ohhhhh HELLLL YES  !  


I've dated a buncha jewish girls in the past...... and yeah, they're hot but definitely a little nuts    Their families WERE funnier than shit tho !  I hear ya bro.

Quoted: J = Jewish A= American P= Princess

So that's what that means!

Quoted: I've always found, for the most part, Jewish Chicks to be Hotter n' Shit, by the way.

Wow, you're easy to please!

No, but I do gas her every so often...


Oh, and...my cutesy nickname for her is "My Little Matzah Ball."  Isn't that precious?

Quoted: Quoted: I'm mostly German.... My Girlfriend is Half-A-Jew!! Now, be honest, have you ever looked at her, then the oven, and been tempted to toss her in?

Don't Jewish chicks have big boobies??  IBTL!

Quoted: Quoted: I'm mostly German.... My Girlfriend is Half-A-Jew!! Now, be honest, have you ever looked at her, then the oven, and been tempted to toss her in?

 horrible!

Quoted: Now, be honest, have you ever looked at her, then the oven, and been tempted to toss her in?

wow, wow, and WOW.

hrrrrwuh?  I want my minute back.  

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I'm mostly German.... My Girlfriend is Half-A-Jew!! Now, be honest, have you ever looked at her, then the oven, and been tempted to toss her in? That ain't right, man..... Well, in fairness, I'm half German and half hillbilly. I'm often at odds with the kraut side, who desperately wants to gas the other half.

My old boos told me about a friend of his who was half Phillipino and half Hick.  Called himself a "Hickapino".

I dont do these often, but IBTL!

U Miami is infested with JAP's.  Just about every car in the parking lot needs a big as shit bumper sticker on it that says "THANK YOU DADDY!"

To which I can only reply Annie Sprinkle.

Quoted: Don't Jewish chicks have big boobies??  IBTL!

I have dated two girls with spectacular racks. We're talking DDs on tight bodies. They were both Jewish. Coincidence?

My old boos told me about a friend of his who was half Phillipino and half Hick.  Called himself a "Hickapino".

you see the movie domino?

how bout chinegro? japanic,

Quoted: To which I can only reply Annie Sprinkle.

Yeah.....well my wife went to one of her "get in touch with your tantric self" weekend seminars and only lasted till saturday afternoon.....

Our Jewish friends are a riot!  They say and do the damndest things!  I LOVE hanging with them, they crack me up!

Huh?

Quoted: To which I can only reply Annie Sprinkle.

Someone has to say it. This thread is worthless without pictures so we can determine the hotness of your J.A.P.