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Posted: 3/6/2006 7:27:40 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/6/2006 7:49:11 PM EDT by Zippy_The_Wonderdog]
A short while ago, I was at my girlfriend's parent's house for dinner. Nice time. Good meal. Interesting conversation.

At one time, the conversation degraded (in a good natured way) to sibling rivalries and fights with the parents. Yeah, my girlfriends sister was there...and she's hot too. I'm mostly German and then basically a Mutt otherwise (including Indian...Feather...not Dot...) but...well hell...

Horton Hears a Who!
My Girlfriend is Half-A-Jew!!

...from her mother's side. Full Bull Jew. Her mother, according to my girlfriend, could be described as a "Super Jew" in a strange and twisted anti-semitic attitude my girlfriend seems to take on from time to time. Go figure.

I've always found, for the most part, Jewish Chicks to be Hotter n' Shit, by the way.

Hava Nagila, baby. My girlfriend doesn't understand, and thinks I have a sick perversion for big noses.

The Stereotypical Motherly Jewishisms apply fully in her mother's demeanor. I love her.

She kinda reminds me of my Mom. She ain't a Jew but mostly German...but might as well be a Jew in her mannerisms.

Girlfriend's Daddy is Full Bull Austrian...FWIW...

ANYWAYS...like I said...the conversation at the dinner table degraded into sibling rivalries and fights with parents. Apparently, my GF, in one of her occasional lapses into J.A.P.-ness in her high school years, got into a fight with Mommy and threatened to leave home, and stormed out of the house. Her mother, not skipping a beat, yelled out at her as she was storming away....

"Ya wanna leave? Then get outta my house you damn J.A.P.! That's right! Drive away in the car that Daddy bought for you!!!"

Wow! Whilst laughing my ass off, The "Super Jew" shot me a seductive smile which caught me off guard in a weird way.

Political correctness has not infiltrated everywhere.

Thought this might be a funny tale to share.

Thank you for your time.

Jewish chicks are hot, I don't care what my girlfriend says.



Link Posted: 3/6/2006 7:34:16 PM EDT
being around when a friend/girlfriend gets into a really nasty fight with their parents are probably some of the most awkward situations i've ever been in.

you know it's a good idea to shut up and not get involved, but its difficult to decide whether it's best to just stand there quietly like nothing's happening or to excuse yourself and execute a tactical retreat to the bathroom or another room until the cessation of hostilities....
Link Posted: 3/6/2006 7:36:27 PM EDT
whats J.A.P. stand for anyway?
Link Posted: 3/6/2006 7:38:25 PM EDT
I DEMAND THIS THREAD BE LOCKED AS IT PEEKS TOO DEEP INTO CERTAIN RITUALS

Link Posted: 3/6/2006 7:39:23 PM EDT
J = Jewish
A= American
P= Princess
Link Posted: 3/6/2006 7:39:51 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
I've always found, for the most part, Jewish Chicks to be Hotter n' Shit, by the way.

Hava Nagila, baby. My girlfriend doesn't understand, and thinks I have a sick perversion for big noses.



That cracked me up!
Link Posted: 3/6/2006 7:40:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By fossil_fuel:
whats J.A.P. stand for anyway?



Jewish American Princess

Translates easily into: "Spoiled Brat"

Link Posted: 3/6/2006 7:41:16 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/6/2006 7:46:33 PM EDT
Very good story...I'm still smiling!

HH
Link Posted: 3/6/2006 7:46:46 PM EDT
My good friends are too, and it is a riot to listen into their conversations with family. Makes a sitcom/soap-opera look poorly written.
Link Posted: 3/6/2006 7:58:37 PM EDT
I didn't make that up either. She really thinks I have a fetish for a big ol' beak. Maybe I do. She, and her sister, one night threatened to get a nose job one night. I told them I'd break it again myself if they did. I then related that I thought Jennifer Grey as Hot as Shit in Ferris Bueller's Day off and in Dirty Dancing (okay, fuck off, I only watched Dirty Dancing because I thought Ms. Grey was hot) but then fucked herself up with the nose job. Stupid bitch. What was she thinking?

Hava Nagila, Baby.




Originally Posted By Delta-Swift:

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
I've always found, for the most part, Jewish Chicks to be Hotter n' Shit, by the way.

Hava Nagila, baby. My girlfriend doesn't understand, and thinks I have a sick perversion for big noses.



That cracked me up!

Link Posted: 3/6/2006 8:25:25 PM EDT
Zippy's next thread:

"so, I slept with my girlfriend's mom..."
Link Posted: 3/6/2006 10:34:27 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheSneak:
Zippy's next thread:

"so, I slept with my girlfriend's mom..."




You forget the required:Hava Nagila, Baby!!...
Link Posted: 3/6/2006 10:46:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
I'm mostly German....

My Girlfriend is Half-A-Jew!!



Now, be honest, have you ever looked at her, then the oven, and been tempted to toss her in?

Link Posted: 3/6/2006 10:56:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/6/2006 10:58:44 PM EDT by PromptCritical]

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
I didn't make that up either. She really thinks I have a fetish for a big ol' beak. Maybe I do. She, and her sister, one night threatened to get a nose job one night. I told them I'd break it again myself if they did. I then related that I thought Jennifer Grey as Hot as Shit in Ferris Bueller's Day off and in Dirty Dancing (okay, fuck off, I only watched Dirty Dancing because I thought Ms. Grey was hot) but then fucked herself up with the nose job. Stupid bitch. What was she thinking?

Hava Nagila, Baby.



Dude, she was in "Red Dawn" too. Not so hot in that one, but still, How can you forget "Red Dawn"?

With that, I present the wisdom of Frank Zappa:



"Jewish Princess" By Frank Zappa

I want a nasty little jewish princess
With long phony nails and a hairdo that rinses
A horny little jewish princess
With a garlic aroma that could level Tacoma
Lonely inside
Well, she can swallow my pride

I want a hairy little jewish princess
With a brand new nose, who knows where it goes
I want a steamy little jewish princess
With over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums
I don’t want no troll
I just want a yemenite hole

I want a darling little jewish princess
Who don’t know shit about cooking and is arrogant looking
A vicious little jewish princess
To specifically happen with a pee-pee that’s snappin’
All up inside
I just want a princess to ride
Awright, back to the top...everybody twist

I want a funky little jewish princess
A grinder; a bumper, with a pre-moistened dumper
A brazen little jewish princess
With titanic tits, and sand-blasted zits
She can even be poor
So long as she does it with four on the floor
(vapor-lock)

I want a dainty little jewish princess
With a couple of sisters who can raise a few blisters
A fragile little jewish princess
With roumanian thighs, who weasels ’n’ lies
For two or three nights
Won’t someone send me a princess who bites
Won’t someone send me a princess who bites
Won’t someone send me a princess who bites
Won’t someone send me a princess who bites



Link Posted: 3/6/2006 11:12:47 PM EDT

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
I'm mostly German....

My Girlfriend is Half-A-Jew!!



Now, be honest, have you ever looked at her, then the oven, and been tempted to toss her in?




Oh!



­



SHIT!
Link Posted: 3/6/2006 11:17:05 PM EDT


...from her mother's side. Full Bull Jew. Her mother, according to my girlfriend, could be described as a "Super Jew" in a strange and twisted anti-semitic attitude my girlfriend seems to take on from time to time. Go figure.

.







Link Posted: 3/6/2006 11:39:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
I'm mostly German....

My Girlfriend is Half-A-Jew!!



Now, be honest, have you ever looked at her, then the oven, and been tempted to toss her in?





That ain't right, man.....

Funny, but not right.
Link Posted: 3/6/2006 11:45:13 PM EDT

Originally Posted By zombievt:

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
I'm mostly German....

My Girlfriend is Half-A-Jew!!



Now, be honest, have you ever looked at her, then the oven, and been tempted to toss her in?





That ain't right, man.....



Well, in fairness, I'm half German and half hillbilly. I'm often at odds with the kraut side, who desperately wants to gas the other half.

Link Posted: 3/6/2006 11:46:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By PromptCritical:
With that, I present the wisdom of Frank Zappa:



"Jewish Princess" By Frank Zappa

I want a nasty little jewish princess
With long phony nails and a hairdo that rinses
A horny little jewish princess
With a garlic aroma that could level Tacoma
Lonely inside
Well, she can swallow my pride

I want a hairy little jewish princess
With a brand new nose, who knows where it goes
I want a steamy little jewish princess
With over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums
I don’t want no troll
I just want a yemenite hole

I want a darling little jewish princess
Who don’t know shit about cooking and is arrogant looking
A vicious little jewish princess
To specifically happen with a pee-pee that’s snappin’
All up inside
I just want a princess to ride
Awright, back to the top...everybody twist

I want a funky little jewish princess
A grinder; a bumper, with a pre-moistened dumper
A brazen little jewish princess
With titanic tits, and sand-blasted zits
She can even be poor
So long as she does it with four on the floor
(vapor-lock)

I want a dainty little jewish princess
With a couple of sisters who can raise a few blisters
A fragile little jewish princess
With roumanian thighs, who weasels ’n’ lies
For two or three nights
Won’t someone send me a princess who bites
Won’t someone send me a princess who bites
Won’t someone send me a princess who bites
Won’t someone send me a princess who bites






Almost sounds like The BloodHound Gang.
Link Posted: 3/6/2006 11:55:47 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
I didn't make that up either. She really thinks I have a fetish for a big ol' beak. Maybe I do. She, and her sister, one night threatened to get a nose job one night. I told them I'd break it again myself if they did. I then related that I thought Jennifer Grey as Hot as Shit in Ferris Bueller's Day off and in Dirty Dancing (okay, fuck off, I only watched Dirty Dancing because I thought Ms. Grey was hot) but then fucked herself up with the nose job. Stupid bitch. What was she thinking?

Hava Nagila, Baby.




Originally Posted By Delta-Swift:

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
I've always found, for the most part, Jewish Chicks to be Hotter n' Shit, by the way.

Hava Nagila, baby. My girlfriend doesn't understand, and thinks I have a sick perversion for big noses.



That cracked me up!




Ohhhhh HELLLL YES !


I've dated a buncha jewish girls in the past...... and yeah, they're hot but definitely a little nuts Their families WERE funnier than shit tho ! I hear ya bro.


Link Posted: 3/7/2006 12:21:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Gaelic_Warrior:
J = Jewish
A= American
P= Princess



So that's what that means!

Link Posted: 3/7/2006 3:31:57 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:

I've always found, for the most part, Jewish Chicks to be Hotter n' Shit, by the way.




Wow, you're easy to please!
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 3:46:09 AM EDT
No, but I do gas her every so often...


Oh, and...my cutesy nickname for her is "My Little Matzah Ball." Isn't that precious?



Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
I'm mostly German....

My Girlfriend is Half-A-Jew!!



Now, be honest, have you ever looked at her, then the oven, and been tempted to toss her in?


Link Posted: 3/7/2006 7:03:04 AM EDT
Don't Jewish chicks have big boobies?? IBTL!
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 7:06:29 AM EDT

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
I'm mostly German....

My Girlfriend is Half-A-Jew!!



Now, be honest, have you ever looked at her, then the oven, and been tempted to toss her in?




horrible!
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 7:08:31 AM EDT

Originally Posted By swingset:
Now, be honest, have you ever looked at her, then the oven, and been tempted to toss her in?



wow, wow, and WOW.
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 8:30:15 AM EDT
hrrrrwuh? I want my minute back.
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 8:31:43 AM EDT

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By zombievt:

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
I'm mostly German....

My Girlfriend is Half-A-Jew!!



Now, be honest, have you ever looked at her, then the oven, and been tempted to toss her in?





That ain't right, man.....



Well, in fairness, I'm half German and half hillbilly. I'm often at odds with the kraut side, who desperately wants to gas the other half.




My old boos told me about a friend of his who was half Phillipino and half Hick. Called himself a "Hickapino".
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 8:59:16 AM EDT
I dont do these often, but IBTL!
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 9:02:20 AM EDT
U Miami is infested with JAP's. Just about every car in the parking lot needs a big as shit bumper sticker on it that says "THANK YOU DADDY!"
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 9:02:47 AM EDT
To which I can only reply Annie Sprinkle.
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 9:04:36 AM EDT

Originally Posted By 10mmFan:
Don't Jewish chicks have big boobies?? IBTL!



I have dated two girls with spectacular racks. We're talking DDs on tight bodies. They were both Jewish. Coincidence?
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 9:12:39 AM EDT


My old boos told me about a friend of his who was half Phillipino and half Hick. Called himself a "Hickapino".



you see the movie domino?

how bout chinegro? japanic,
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 10:02:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SteyrAUG:
To which I can only reply Annie Sprinkle.



Yeah.....well my wife went to one of her "get in touch with your tantric self" weekend seminars and only lasted till saturday afternoon.....
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 10:29:30 AM EDT
Our Jewish friends are a riot! They say and do the damndest things! I LOVE hanging with them, they crack me up!
Link Posted: 3/7/2006 2:29:07 PM EDT
Huh?


Originally Posted By SteyrAUG:
To which I can only reply Annie Sprinkle.

Link Posted: 3/7/2006 6:59:35 PM EDT
Someone has to say it. This thread is worthless without pictures so we can determine the hotness of your J.A.P.
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