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Posted: 3/5/2006 4:48:37 AM EDT
I just had a brainstorm....based on all the incredible lessons I have learned from seeing how effective gun control laws are in ending crime, I have come up with a proposal to end alcohol and drug related motor vehicle accidents in our country.

What we need to do is impose a ban on the manufacture of car keys.
Stick with me folks.....cars are dangerous. Think about how many people are hurt and killed when a drunk or high person gets behind the wheel? Just think, if they didnt have access to the evil keys a lot of lives could be saved. Now, there are already a lot of keys out there, so the ban could only apply to new keys manufacted after today. We could create a government agency to monitor the use of existing keys....and implement a registration system to track the ownership of all keys moving forward. In an effort to make ownership less atractive, we can simply charge a fee to register the keys...say $20,000 every year.....and if you fail to register them, you legally forfeit them to the government. I suspect that 'pre-ban' keys would sell at a premium, making them less attractive to the open market...so eventually people will just stop wanting to buy them.

If we could get this passed we would save so many lives....my only concern would be the illegal trafficking that would still occur at car shows.....but we can probably come up additional regulations to close up the 'car show loophole'.


BAN CAR KEYS - DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN - URGE YOUR CONGRESSMAN TO IMPLEMENT......KEY CONTROL

Wish it was a joke. It's actually funny until you realize it happened already, just not with keys.
Link Posted: 3/5/2006 4:56:50 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/5/2006 4:58:01 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/5/2006 4:58:56 AM EDT by Leisure_Shoot]
Your analogy is more like banning ammunition or firing pins.

What is needed is 2 cylinder cars.
No one needs 8 cylinders for transportation, except law enforcement, and the government.
Link Posted: 3/5/2006 5:05:54 AM EDT
It's an OK idea, but why not just ban the cars?

It's obviously the cars that are doing all the damage. They're the evil ones. They're the ones to blame.

Link Posted: 3/5/2006 5:13:39 AM EDT
we should ban all cars that resemble military and police cars first
Link Posted: 3/5/2006 5:15:26 AM EDT
Right. We need to ban the evil features.

1) rear driveshafts

2) tires over a certain width

3) trailer hitch

4) conspicuously-protruding "fart can" exhausts

5) multiple cigarette lighters/power recepticals (for the children)

6) high-capacity key rings


Three or more of theses evil features would make it an Assault Vehicle, unless the parts were manufactured in the US before a certain date.
Link Posted: 3/5/2006 5:19:15 AM EDT
Don't forget lift kits. anything more than 8 inches off the pavement is dangerous- why would anyone want an evil feature like that anyways?
Link Posted: 3/5/2006 5:20:15 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/5/2006 5:20:33 AM EDT by goodmedicine]
Can we start with Ted Kennedy's car keys first?

Whoops, too late.

GM
Link Posted: 3/5/2006 5:23:01 AM EDT
i think the funnest thing that could happen, is if some one got hit by a drunk driver. then they sued the car maker for neglagence ( sp ?) for not installing a breathalizer in all new cars. the breath alizers exist already. the breath alizers already help prevent drunks from driving. if a ceo from any of the big car makers admited in court that they knew somebody could or was going to drive one of their new cars while drunk it should be a slam dunk case.

now honestly if you found the right jury the case would be a looser or a big winner depending on who was on the jury. the jury could be slected to side with the car maker by the car maker and the they plantiff. at this point the case would lose, saying you cant hold the maker responsible for how their product was used.

this would set a precident that could be used in gun cases to say the gun makers cant be held responsible for how there products are used

worst case situation is it was a big winner, then since somebody like the nra, because of the future connection to firearms, would get a nice chunk of the lawyers fees.

i mean HCI donated money to the first tabacco law suits to set a precident they could use ie: even thou you knew what you where doing could hurt you and you did it willingly you could still sue the maker when it hurt you... why not use the court to our side
Link Posted: 3/5/2006 5:23:04 AM EDT

Originally Posted By goodmedicine:
Can we start with Ted Kennedy's car keys first?

Whoops, too late.

GM



thats funny shit...
Link Posted: 3/5/2006 5:24:32 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/5/2006 5:32:04 AM EDT
Have all drivers wear a ring that emits an electronic signal that only recognizes the driver. It can also check your BAC to make sure you are legal to drive.
Link Posted: 3/5/2006 6:22:24 AM EDT
Ban rational thought!

Oh wait....they already got rid of it through attrition..never mind.
Link Posted: 3/5/2006 7:41:03 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/5/2006 7:41:55 AM EDT by paraguy]

Originally Posted By FITTER:
Right. We need to ban the evil features.

1) rear driveshafts

2) tires over a certain width

3) trailer hitch

4) conspicuously-protruding "fart can" exhausts

5) multiple cigarette lighters/power recepticals (for the children)

6) high-capacity key rings



Three or more of theses evil features would make it an Assault Vehicle, unless the parts were manufactured in the US before a certain date.



Thats funny as hell!
Link Posted: 3/5/2006 7:46:20 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/5/2006 7:46:33 AM EDT by CZ75_9MM]

Originally Posted By Leisure_Shoot:
Your analogy is more like banning ammunition or firing pins.

What is needed is 2 cylinder cars.
No one needs 8 cylinders for transportation, except law enforcement, and the government.



We should all be driving Trabants



Link Posted: 3/5/2006 7:50:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Leisure_Shoot:
Your analogy is more like banning ammunition or firing pins.

What is needed is 2 cylinder cars.
No one needs 8 cylinders for transportation, except law enforcement, and the government.



They can have my V-8 when they pry the wheel from my cold dead fingers.

<-- See my baby aka money pit
Link Posted: 3/5/2006 12:37:50 PM EDT
I posted this some time back, but will again:

Florida76 asked "Im new to AR-15's.... i have a few Hand guns and shotguns... but no AR-15... i hear alot of people are going to buy lots of AR's because the ban is over..."

Answer: We have been able to buy AR-15's all along, but not with the banned features. The rifle is the same, the accessories are different.

Let me put it this way, what if people were all upset about street racing? So, the Coalition to Ban Street Racing Cars looked in Hot Rod Magazine and looked at the pictures. They wrote the Street Safety Bill of 2000 that banned Camaros and Mustangs. Also, any car painted red, or with more than three colors, mag wheels, or hood scoops.

To get the Street Safety Bill of 2000 passed, the politicians and police chiefs warned "No one needs a nitro burning funny car dragster to run to the grocery store."

The new media, when talking about the SSB of 2000, showed a stop light changing from red to green, then cut to scenes of funny cars at the NHRA Championships smoking tires at the starting line, then cut to scenes of cars (actually involved in police chases from a popular TV show) being involved in terrible wrecks. They edited this so as to make you think it was all one occurance.

Camaros and Mustangs from previous years can still be owned and sold, but prices go up as they are highly desirable cars from when Men were Men and Cars were Cars. NHRA dragsters are completely unaffected by the SSB 2000 because they are never driven on public roads.

So, the car manufacturers made the same cars, but restyled the bodies, same frame and engines, as these were used in their other cars, too. They renamed them the Soccarmom and Executive. You could not buy them in red, or with more than two colors, and no hood scoop or mag wheel option was offered. Mag Wheels and hood scoops sold in auto shops had warning stickers on the boxes that said, "For use only on pre-2000 cars. Use on cars made after September of 2000 is a felony punishable by 10 yrs in Fed prison."

But the Soccermom and the Executive go from 0-60 just as fast as the older Camaro and Mustang. They handle the same, just as cool, just no mags or scoops. Some stupid kid put mag wheels on his Mom's Soccermom and went to prison where he roomed with Bubba.

Florida76 further asked: "my question is whats going to be diffrent on a AR-15 now the ban is over? i know you can use Hi-caps mags but what else?"

Now the car mfgs can change the name back to Camaro and Mustang if they want. They can offer hood scoops and mag wheels. You can put mag wheels and hood scoops on your 2001 Executive. But that poor kid will still be in prison with Bubba. It was a felony when he did it, but is not now. Tough, he was a criminal.

After the SSB of 2000 expired, the politicians, police chiefs, and news media talking heads are once again saying, "When this bill expires, it will once again be possible for 12 year old kids to go to any car dealership, buy one of these terrible machines and once again terrorize the streets with these nitro burning dragsters that are made only for running school buses off the road."
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