In an attempt to spoof SteyrAUG's AUGisms I think I might start running a collum everytime I stumble back from the bars and am in the introspective drunk phase of being drunk... so here goes nothing... Note: do not try this at home, I am a college student, which means I pay to party.
*beer before liquor, never been sicker.... liquor before beer you're in the clear
*eating at the burrito place after getting totally hammered will give you the most awesome shits in the morning
*don't buy beer made in China, it supports communism... and when you point out to the guy who bought the beer that he's supporting communism and he has no problem with that (stating that he DOES support communism) punch him... hard
*punching Erik in the face hurts my hand
*Make sure you know when someone is joking about supporting communism
*Spilling Drinks on yourself is funny, especially when you take your pants off at the bar and ask for a dryer
*No matter how hard you justify it, drinking a mixed drink through a straw that has an umbrella makes you a woman or a fag...
*If we don't start showing my generation the fact that guns are cool and not the cause of all crime soon, I will see a ban on all firearms in my generation
*I live my life by the Warsteiner slogan, "Because life is too short to drink beer"
*Because a woman dresses a certain way does not make her a certain way.... this does not apply to Police officers
*If you start dancing on me, please make sure you are a nine or a ten, not a fat piece of cattle
*The best thing to do is to make sure the guy in your group you secretly hate goes home with said piece of cattle
*Sexual harassment goes both ways, so don't rub my chest while hugging me you fat skank
*Don't walk means don't walk... even when you're drunk (damn you intersection of sixth and green)
That's it for now, maybe there will be more, who knows?