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Posted: 2/23/2006 12:37:52 PM EDT
i got to lighten it up a little...
link to script


Well, I'm sorry. Ah... If the pilot's good, see. I mean, if he's really... sharp, he can barrel that baby in so low spreads his arms like wings., laughs you oughtta see it sometime, it's a sight. A big plane, like a '52, vroom! There's jet exhaust, flyin' chickens in the barnyard!

Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:41:48 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/23/2006 12:43:51 PM EDT by motown_steve]

Well I've been to one world fair a picnic and a rodeo and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones.


I actually use variations of this line from time to time.

I also like:


I mean, we must be... increasingly on the alert to prevent them from taking over other mineshaft space, in order to breed more prodigiously than we do!
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:42:10 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/23/2006 12:43:57 PM EDT by GySgtD]
"Deny them your essence, Mandrake".

Coming in a close second, "You are gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company".
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:43:00 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/23/2006 12:44:00 PM EDT by TheCynic]
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:46:01 PM EDT
Kong "Survival Kit contents check. In them you will find: one 45 caliber automatic, two boxes of ammunition, four days concentrated emergency rations, one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills, one miniature combination Rooshan phrase book and Bible, one hundred dollars in rubles, one hundred dollars in gold, nine packs of chewing gum, one issue of prophylactics, three lipsticks, three pair of nylon stockings -- shoot, a fellah could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff...."
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:46:29 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:46:38 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheCynic:
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"



+1
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:47:55 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:48:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Poodleshooter:
Kong "Survival Kit contents check. In them you will find: one 45 caliber automatic, two boxes of ammunition, four days concentrated emergency rations, one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills, one miniature combination Rooshan phrase book and Bible, one hundred dollars in rubles, one hundred dollars in gold, nine packs of chewing gum, one issue of prophylactics, three lipsticks, three pair of nylon stockings -- shoot, a fellah could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff...."




Ahhh ya beat me to it
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:48:45 PM EDT
Major Kong: "Well, boys, I reckon this is it - nuclear combat toe to toe with the Rooskies. Now look, boys, I ain't much of a hand at makin' speeches, but I got a pretty fair idea that something doggone important is goin' on back there. And I got a fair idea the kinda personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin'. Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human bein's if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelins about nuclear combat.

I want you to remember one thing, the folks back home is a countin' on you and by golly, we ain't about to let 'em down. I tell you something else, if this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I'd say that you're all in line for some important promotions and personal citations when this thing's over with. That goes for ever' last one of you regardless of your race, color or your creed. Now let's get this thing on the hump - we got some flyin' to do."

Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:49:43 PM EDT
"He'll see the Big Board!"

"Yessss, Mein Fuhrer!"
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:49:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheCynic:
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"



+1
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:59:44 PM EDT


"Mein Furher......... I can walk!"


"Mr. President, we must not allow... a mine shaft gap!"


"A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works."

Link Posted: 2/23/2006 1:01:19 PM EDT
"SHOOT! WITH THE GUN! THATS WHAT THE BULLETS ARE FOR YOU TWIT!"
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 1:04:01 PM EDT
"..they make such bloody good cameras."
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 4:29:16 PM EDT
Have you ever seen a commie drink a glass of water?
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 4:44:30 PM EDT

I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 4:46:56 PM EDT
Tag
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 5:08:55 PM EDT
"Animals can be bred and slaughtered."
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 5:18:38 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Derek45:
Have you ever seen a commie drink a glass of water?



ice cream Mandrake...
children's ice cream
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 5:20:44 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/23/2006 5:31:25 PM EDT by Spade]

Well, you don't think I'd go into combat with loose change in my pocket, do you?



Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello?... *Of course* I like to speak to you!... *Of course* I like to say hello!... Not now, but anytime, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened... It's a *friendly* call. Of course it's a friendly call... Listen, if it wasn't friendly... you probably wouldn't have even got it.



I think you're some kind of deviated prevert. I think General Ripper found out about your preversion, and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts. Now MOVE!



Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Colonel... that Coca-Cola machine. I want you to shoot the lock off it. There may be some change in there.
Colonel "Bat" Guano: That's private property.




Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Ah, oh, no, I don't think they wanted me to talk really, I don't think they wanted me to say anything. It was just their way of having a bit of fun the swines. Strange thing is they make such bloody good cameras.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 5:26:44 PM EDT
see sig.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 5:28:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheCynic:
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"



What He said!
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 5:30:32 PM EDT
General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake. I do not avoid women, But I... I do deny them my essence.


Words to live by.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 5:30:44 PM EDT
I never saw it
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 5:32:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By StonerStudent:
General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake. I do not avoid women, But I... I do deny them my essence.


Words to live by.




Hey, what are you sayin' SS? I like pie and all; I'm just bein real careful untill I can find some insurance to cover a visectomy.


Speed
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 5:32:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By StonerStudent:
General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake. I do not avoid women, But I... I do deny them my essence.


Words to live by.





Link Posted: 2/23/2006 5:33:10 PM EDT

Dr. Strangelove: Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is lost, if you *keep* it a *secret*! Why didn't you tell the world, EH?
Ambassador de Sadesky: It was to be announced at the Party Congress on Monday. As you know, the Premier loves surprises.

Link Posted: 2/23/2006 5:37:17 PM EDT
I always found this motivating:

Well boys, we got three engines out, we got more holes in us than a horse trader's mule, the radio is gone and we're leaking fuel and if we was flying any lower why we'd need sleigh bells on this thing... but we got one little budge on those Roosskies. At this height why they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar screen!


Slim Pickens rocked.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 5:37:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:

Originally Posted By StonerStudent:
General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake. I do not avoid women, But I... I do deny them my essence.


Words to live by.








You know DK-Prof........I think of you everytime I see Peter Seller in that movie.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 5:46:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By dport:
I always found this motivating:

Well boys, we got three engines out, we got more holes in us than a horse trader's mule, the radio is gone and we're leaking fuel and if we was flying any lower why we'd need sleigh bells on this thing... but we got one little budge on those Roosskies. At this height why they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar screen!


Slim Pickens rocked.



Someone recently posted a picture of a B-52 doing a fly-by of a carrier about 40 feet above the water and well below the deck. That made me think of that quote, actually.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 6:03:46 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Poodleshooter:
Kong "Survival Kit contents check. In them you will find: one 45 caliber automatic, two boxes of ammunition, four days concentrated emergency rations, one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills, one miniature combination Rooshan phrase book and Bible, one hundred dollars in rubles, one hundred dollars in gold, nine packs of chewing gum, one issue of prophylactics, three lipsticks, three pair of nylon stockings -- shoot, a fellah could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff...."



I thought it was Dallas but still the best
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 6:05:51 PM EDT

Originally Posted By The_Macallan:

"Mein Furher......... I can walk!"




+1
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 6:09:28 PM EDT
We stand a good chance catching them with their pants down.l
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 6:51:43 PM EDT
"You know what I think? I think you're some kind of deviated prevert. I thnk General Ripper found out about your preversions, and that you were organizing a mutiny preverts."

Col. "Bat" Guano is one of the best names in a movie.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 6:56:59 PM EDT

Originally Posted By NumbNut:

Originally Posted By Poodleshooter:
Kong "Survival Kit contents check. In them you will find: one 45 caliber automatic, two boxes of ammunition, four days concentrated emergency rations, one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills, one miniature combination Rooshan phrase book and Bible, one hundred dollars in rubles, one hundred dollars in gold, nine packs of chewing gum, one issue of prophylactics, three lipsticks, three pair of nylon stockings -- shoot, a fellah could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff...."



I thought it was Dallas but still the best



It was. They dubbed Vegas in because JFK just got whacked.


Anoter favorite line:

Admiral: Here ambassador, have a Dominican cigar, they're pretty good.
Ambassador: Thank you, no. I do not indulge in American stooge delights.
Admiral: Oh. Only communist stooges, huh?
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 7:01:00 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/23/2006 7:01:15 PM EDT by Zakk_Wylde_470]

Originally Posted By FAIL-SAFE:

Originally Posted By NumbNut:

Originally Posted By Poodleshooter:
Kong "Survival Kit contents check. In them you will find: one 45 caliber automatic, two boxes of ammunition, four days concentrated emergency rations, one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills, one miniature combination Rooshan phrase book and Bible, one hundred dollars in rubles, one hundred dollars in gold, nine packs of chewing gum, one issue of prophylactics, three lipsticks, three pair of nylon stockings -- shoot, a fellah could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff...."



I thought it was Dallas but still the best



It was. They dubbed Vegas in because JFK just got whacked.


Anoter favorite line:

Admiral: Here ambassador, have a Dominican Jamacian cigar, they're pretty good.
Ambassador: Thank you, no. I do not indulge in American stooge delights support the work of imperialist stooges.
Admiral: Oh. Only communist commie stooges, huh?



Link Posted: 2/23/2006 7:07:12 PM EDT
"But sir! He'll see the big board!"
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 7:10:53 PM EDT
*puts down Playboy*

*starts to go to sleep*
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 7:11:15 PM EDT
"One of our base commanders went and did a silly thing..."
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 7:11:31 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Poodleshooter:
Kong "Survival Kit contents check. In them you will find: one 45 caliber automatic, two boxes of ammunition, four days concentrated emergency rations, one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills, one miniature combination Rooshan phrase book and Bible, one hundred dollars in rubles, one hundred dollars in gold, nine packs of chewing gum, one issue of prophylactics, three lipsticks, three pair of nylon stockings -- shoot, a fellah could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff...."



That is my vote!
I do need to see the movie again.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 7:18:38 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/23/2006 7:20:58 PM EDT by SF1058]
Ripper:

"That's nice shooting, soldier!" Ripper produces a machine gun from a golf bag in his closet. He turns off the lights, then sweeps his desk clear with the gun barrel, placing the gun squarely on the desk. "Mandrake! Come here!"

Mandrake:

"You calling me, Jack? "

Ripper:

"Just come over here and help me with this belt. "

Mandrake:

prone on couch "I ah, I haven't had very much experience, you know, with those... sort of machines, Jack. I only ever pressed a button in my old Spitfire."

Ripper:

"Mandrake, in the name of Her Majesty and the Continental Congress come here and feed me this belt, boy! "

Mandrake:

"Jack, I'd love to come. But, what's happened, you see, is the string in my leg's gone."

Ripper:

"The what?"

Mandrake:

"The string. I never told you, but, you see, I've got a gammy leg. Oh dear. Gone. Shot off."

Ripper:

Karate-chops the receiver, cycling the action. "Mandrake, come over here. The Red Coats are coming. Come on!"

Link Posted: 2/23/2006 7:27:57 PM EDT
General Turgidson:

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops....uh, depending on the breaks.

Link Posted: 2/23/2006 7:31:51 PM EDT

Originally Posted By LWilde:
General Turgidson:

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops....uh, depending on the breaks.




Dang it, beat me to it.....
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 7:37:15 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheCynic:
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"


That one.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 7:54:14 PM EDT
Target in sight. Where in hell is Major Kong?

Kong busily works to splice two wires together. He finishes and then attaches an alligator clip to a patch panel above his head. The bomb doors open. He grabs his stetson to keep it from blowing away in the sudden slipstream.

Kong:

Aaaaaa hooooo! Aaaaaaaa hooooo! the bomb is dropped, and Kong along with it

Bombardier:

Hey, what about Major Kong?

Kong:

Aaaaaa hoooo! Waaaaa hooooo! Kong rides the bomb in its falling arc waving his hat over his head, celebrating his success in ecstatic rodeo style. On reaching the ground, the bomb detonates.




Slim ridding the bomb down and hooting is my favorite.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:01:05 PM EDT
Two can play at that game, Soldier!

That is nice shooting, Soldier!

Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:01:12 PM EDT
HA-HA! just saw that movie less than 5 hours ago! To many great lines to list. But the funniest is the "prevert" lines. "i think your some kinda pre-vert and your up to some kind of pre-versions"
or the soda machine line, "if you can't get the president on the line then your gonna have to answer to the Coca cola company."
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 10:23:38 PM EDT
Get it right--it's NUCULAR combat.
Link Posted: 2/24/2006 1:47:52 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Maggot:
I never saw it


Link Posted: 2/24/2006 2:21:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By dport:
I always found this motivating:

Well boys, we got three engines out, we got more holes in us than a horse trader's mule, the radio is gone and we're leaking fuel and if we was flying any lower why we'd need sleigh bells on this thing... but we got one little budge on those Roosskies. At this height why they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar screen!


Slim Pickens rocked.


I saw a bio-pic of Peter Sellers, and according to it, Sellers was originally supposed to play a FOURTH part in the movie -- the pilot. But he didn't want to, so he faked a broken leg so that they would have to replace him.

I cannot imagine "Dr. Strangelove" being filmed without Slim Pickens and his cowboy hat in it.

You guys have already gotten most of the best ones. This exchange is also pretty funny:

Ripper: Vodka. That's what they drink, isn't it? Never water?

Mandrake: Well I... I believe that's what they drink, Jack. Yes.

Ripper: On no account will a commie ever drink water, and not without good reason.

Mandrake: Oh, ah, yes. I don't quite.. see what you're getting at, Jack.

...

Ripper: Mandrake, have you never wondered why I drink only distilled water, or rain water, and only pure grain alcohol?

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