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Posted: 2/23/2006 8:18:09 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/23/2006 5:00:28 PM EDT by Bama-Shooter]
My daughter told the Mrs last night that one of her 13 year old friends had sex with a 21 year old. The Mrs knows the parents. Should we contact the parents and let them know?

I'm torn. One part says hell yes call because I would want to know, the other half says stay out of other peoples business.

ETA: The Mrs will be calling the parents tonight and let them know what was said. Could be a lie, maybe not. Let them work it out once it is told.

Update!!

The story is a hoax. The girl does live with her grandmother. But she has made false statements in the past. The Mrs spoke with the girl and the grandmother. Admitted to telling a story to impress the other girls at school.

Our daughter is now prohibited from associating with the girl. Lots of converstaion going on and still going. Still have to sort some more issues out.

Sorry but thanks for the help.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:18:51 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/23/2006 8:22:16 AM EDT by kill-9]

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
Should we contact the parents and let them know?



Yes:


Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
because I would want to know

Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:19:07 AM EDT
Dude you must live in one messed up world!
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:19:56 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:20:26 AM EDT

dang. Tag for update
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:20:53 AM EDT
holy crap.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:20:56 AM EDT
I'd say tell, but it's a tough one.

It's really not your business, but at the same time the circumstances dictate action.
I assume that this was consentual (not legally, but you know what I mean) I would probably rell.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:21:30 AM EDT
yikes.

If this is reliable news... the parents need to know. Could just be a girl bragging to her friends though.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:21:57 AM EDT
In my opinion, it would do more psychological harm to the 13 year old girl
if her privacy became public, and was drug into a police station and courtroom.

Right or wrong of the 21 year old, the 13 year old probably didn't object at all.

So ask yourself, if it happened to your daughter, would you want to put her
through the legal system at her age, on that topic?

I know you would want to know, but what would you do about it?

I know, I know, SSS.

Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:22:06 AM EDT
Should be no question. If it was your daughter, wouldn't YOU want to know?

TC
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:22:19 AM EDT
If you dont feel the need to tell, atleast find out who the 21yr old is and beat his sicko pervert ass.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:23:45 AM EDT
Do it. If the parents want to press charges, then let them decide, if not then thats up to them. They should know, 13 and 17 is one thing, but 13 and 21 is damn near pedophile criteria. Report the bastard
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:24:05 AM EDT
His guy is a child molester hang his ass.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:24:09 AM EDT
Yes tell! A 21 year old getting on a 13 year old is just disgusting. If it was 16 and up I would maybe keep out of it, but 13 is way too young.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:25:34 AM EDT
are you a police officer? I thought I read you were before. If you are do you not have an obligation to deal with that?

Personally, I am not an officer, I would address this with themand support them going to the police. To me this is a bad start to a long term sex offender. No 21 year old should be involved with a 13 year old ever.

Just my 2 cents.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:26:09 AM EDT

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:
In my opinion, it would do more psychological harm to the 13 year old girl
if her privacy became public, and was drug into a police station and courtroom.

Right or wrong of the 21 year old, the 13 year old probably didn't object at all.

So ask yourself, if it happened to your daughter, would you want to put her
through the legal system at her age, on that topic?

I know you would want to know, but what would you do about it?

I know, I know, SSS.




He didn't ask whether he should report the allegation to the police, he asked if he should tell the parents. I say tell them and let them decide how to act in the information.

Upon further consideration, you may be legally obligated to report the alleged crime. Knowledge of the commission of a crime, and not reporting it, could leave you open to a future legal or criminal action.

Disclaimer: IANAL
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:26:25 AM EDT
I'd have to tell the parents, they need to know.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:27:06 AM EDT
At the very least, isn't that statutory rape?

As a father, I would want to know.

What if the 21 year old is still free and tries for your daughter???
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:27:21 AM EDT
Tell the parents before their daughter turns into a complete ho.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:27:34 AM EDT
The swinger's kids? Or the one who's kids aren't really his?

Your world is a weird place, Bama...
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:27:51 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:28:38 AM EDT
Not everythig a 13 year old girl should be taken as gospel either.
Do you know this girl well? Is she prone to lying?

I would talk the her parents...at the very least about the fact she is talking about sex with your 13 year old daughter.

Because running in with My wife said that our daughter said that your daughter said. Is not that great a bassis for a conversation. IMHO
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:30:40 AM EDT
I can't believe anyone needs to ask.

ABSOLUTELY TELL THE PARENTS !!!

Tell them exactly how the info came about.
Let them know how reliable/not reliable it is, and let them take it from there.

Better to tell Dad on the side first, just incase he kills the guy.
No need to put his wife in the awkward position of having a guilty conscience.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:30:55 AM EDT
Do you think it's true? Stories like that get exaggerated when told and exaggerated more when repeated. I would only tell the parents if I was pretty sure it really happened.z
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:32:30 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:33:02 AM EDT
Just tell the 21 year old to keep away from the 13 year old or you feed him his balls (or go to the cops). Tell no one else. Freakiness stops. Everyone is happy.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:33:22 AM EDT
---Your daughter could be next , my daughter could be next.---

YOU MUST TELL !!!
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:36:18 AM EDT
Beat 21 year old with shovel... Repaet as necessasry, ... use shovel for it's proper use.

Fucking sick bastard.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:36:49 AM EDT
This act is against the LAW and you have to step up and pass the information to the parents. We both know what the right thing to do is! It may not be easy but the girl is just 13 years old. second what is your daughter going to do and think if you do not step up to the plate??? She will be doing the same thing her friend is doing now.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:36:52 AM EDT
No, I don't know the girl or whether or not this could be a lie.

The Mrs is going to call the parents and let them sort it out.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:38:44 AM EDT
I hope it was a BullShit story, . That is just wrong.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:39:40 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Fat_McNasty:
Dude you must live in one messed up world!



It's in all our world's.

Bama - word of advice?
Start distancing your daughter from this girl.
This girl will attempt to get the rest of her friends to join her world.
Misery loves company, and teenage girls love drama.
From someone who has been there (younger sister)
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:40:18 AM EDT

Originally Posted By akethan:
His guy is a child molester hang his ass.



+1
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:40:27 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Thunderchild:
Should be no question. If it was your daughter, wouldn't YOU want to know?

TC



+1
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:42:31 AM EDT
Until kids are 18 and considered adults, it's my opinion that they have very limited right to privacy.

At 13, they should still be playing with dolls and make-up.

Another thing to consider, is how kids tend to exaggerate the truth when trying to impress others their age. A simple 13 yr olds "kiss" from a 21yr old could be twisted into just about anything.

Not in any way do I support interaction between 13 and 21 yr olds... just looking at it from another angle.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:42:34 AM EDT
Give it to the parents.

The girl may well have consented willingly to the sex, but we all know the difference between the 13 year-old mindset and the 21 year-old mindset.

Given the the considerable age difference, it is doubtful that there is any valid relationship. My suspicion is that he is in it for the sex. Even if he is not, he should know better. If he doesn't, he will by the time he gets out of prison.

Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:42:55 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
No, I don't know the girl or whether or not this could be a lie.

The Mrs is going to call the parents and let them sort it out.



I think that is definitely the way to go....got to tell the parents...

Also, I would be having a SERIOUS SERIOUS SERIOUS conversation with your daughter. Find out if this is the only friend she has doing this, and see if she is being inticed or encourged to engage is such behavior at such a young age. Peer pressure is a bitch.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:46:48 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Yossarian:

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
No, I don't know the girl or whether or not this could be a lie.

The Mrs is going to call the parents and let them sort it out.



I think that is definitely the way to go....got to tell the parents...

Also, I would be having a SERIOUS SERIOUS SERIOUS conversation with your daughter. Find out if this is the only friend she has doing this, and see if she is being inticed or encourged to engage is such behavior at such a young age. Peer pressure is a bitch.



The Mrs had a long conversation with her last night. The sepeation process from her school friend has already begun.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:47:30 AM EDT

Originally Posted By kill-9:

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
Should we contact the parents and let them know?



Yes:


Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
because I would want to know




Agreed.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:47:53 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:48:00 AM EDT
Don't think the girl is innocent just because she's a 13 year old. Teenagers have changed alot over the past decade and I'd be willing to bet your average teenager is losing their virginity at 13-15.

If she didn't want to do it, it would be alot bigger of a deal. If he didn't have her consent, your daughter would have said she got raped, and didn't just have sex.

Tell the parents. If you don't, I give it one year before the girl turns into a 100% slut, has a baby, or gets her first STD. It's highly likely that it would have an influence on yuor daughter as well. It's easier to prevent something than to try and fix it afterwards.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:49:22 AM EDT
The one downside to telling the parents is your daughter wont share any more dirty secrets in the future.
On a side note about 10 years ago my parents nrighbor had a 20yr old son and on the other side of my parents house lived a family with a 13yr old daughter (she looked much older btw)
Anyway they did the deed and he wrote her a love letter. 13 yr olds parents found it and called the sheriff. Neither kid admitted to the affair and no charges were filed.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:49:41 AM EDT
We parents need to stick together and watch out for eachother.

If my kid did something like that and somebody knew but didn't tell me, I'd be pretty ticked.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:50:20 AM EDT
What would you do if it was a 21 yr old girl and a 13 yr old boy?
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:50:35 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
My daughter told the Mrs last night that one of her 13 year old friends had sex with a 21 year old. The Mrs knows the parents. Should we contact the parents and let them know?

I'm torn. One part says hell yes call because I would want to know, the other half says stay out of other peoples business.

ETA: The Mrs will be calling the parents tonight and let them know what was said. Could be a lie, maybe not. Let them work it out once it is told.



What race was he??

HAHAHHAHA GR
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:51:32 AM EDT
Call the parents immediately.

Otherwise you are aiding the 21 to commit a criminal act.

I always butt out of other people's affairs, but the 21 year old is a child molester and that trumps all other considerations.

Be an adult, make the phone call.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:52:18 AM EDT

Originally Posted By AMZ:
---Your daughter could be next , my daughter could be next MY DAUGHTER WOULD BE LAST---

YOU MUST TELL !!!



Fixed it for ya!

GR
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:53:06 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/23/2006 8:54:32 AM EDT by AcidGambit]
Stay out of other people's affairs... That's my policy.

If her was drugging 13yo girls, that's one thing. If she concented to it, I'd stay out of her business. Does it effect you or your daughter ? no. It is not your business, period, don't be a gossip.
It's between her and her parents.

FWIW: The parents may already know.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:53:46 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Fat_McNasty:
What would you do if it was a 21 yr old girl and a 13 yr old boy?



Samething it's wrong.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:54:00 AM EDT

Originally Posted By olds442tyguy:
Don't think the girl is innocent just because she's a 13 year old. Teenagers have changed alot over the past decade and I'd be willing to bet your average teenager is losing their virginity at 13-15.


It does take two t tango.

That said, think about all of the 13 yo girls you have ever known. They are easily manipulated, naive, and usually pretty sheltered. Many are hitting a point where they want to make "mature" moves and act like adults.

Nearly all 21yo males can take advanage of this and talk a 13yo right out of her pants.

This is not some 14yo boy taking advantage of an opportunity to get laid. This is a grown man, who is most likely working this girl over.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:54:02 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Yossarian:

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
No, I don't know the girl or whether or not this could be a lie.

The Mrs is going to call the parents and let them sort it out.



I think that is definitely the way to go....got to tell the parents...

Also, I would be having a SERIOUS SERIOUS SERIOUS conversation with your daughter. Find out if this is the only friend she has doing this, and see if she is being inticed or encourged to engage is such behavior at such a young age. Peer pressure is a bitch.



I agree. No telling what the real truth is, people make crap up all the time. And the 21 year old might not have even realized how young the girl was, assuming he even exists and anything happens. It’s very possible the 13 year old was the one pursuing the 21 year old man and that’s a kind of pursuit some otherwise decent 21 year old men would have trouble avoiding, especially if they didn’t know the girl’s age.

So rather than alerting police or chopping the 21 year old man’s balls off, (An action I would fully condone if he intentionally took advantage of a 13 year old girl.) you should just let her parents know. They are the ones who should decide how to best handle the situation.

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