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Posted: 2/22/2006 5:01:17 PM EDT
I pay child support for two kids. I also have 50% physical and joint custody of them.

What exactly is the money that I pay "suppose" to be used for? Clothes for the kids, food, shoes, beer, car payments............?

I would like to see that money put away for the upcoming college expenses........what are my odds with that one?

vmax84
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:03:09 PM EDT
the bitch can spend the money on ANYTHING - and if that means the kids wear burlap sacks, then you will probably spend more to clothe them properyl....sucks huh? I wish the laws would change on this bullshit...
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:05:56 PM EDT
She doesn't need the money since she has a decent job and her new husband makes good money...........I really need to sit down with her someday and try to figure out how we're going to get them thru college.

I am working with a financial advisor right now on setting money aside each month for the kids, but I just hope I'm not the only one doing this. Would be a lot nicer if I could get some help with this.

vmax84
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:06:39 PM EDT

Originally Posted By mikejohnson:
the bitch can spend the money on ANYTHING - and if that means the kids wear burlap sacks, then you will probably spend more to clothe them properyl....sucks huh? I wish the laws would change on this bullshit...



+1

As far as I understand it, this is correct. My dad pays my mother around $300 month for my sister, even though he has her 50% of the time as well.
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:06:59 PM EDT
You've got a good idea in putting it towards college. Might be worth a go to see if you can get her to stipulate to that in lieu of child support directly to her.
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:08:00 PM EDT

Originally Posted By vmax84:
She doesn't need the money since she has a decent job and her new husband makes good money...........I really need to sit down with her someday and try to figure out how we're going to get them thru college.

I am working with a financial advisor right now on setting money aside each month for the kids, but I just hope I'm not the only one doing this. Would be a lot nicer if I could get some help with this.

vmax84



Good luck with that. If I were you, I'd just plan for your ex to not be saving any of this $ for your kids' future and continue to show responsibility on your end and save for them. That's the only way to be sure. Best of luck, and good job on getting a financial advisor.
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:09:24 PM EDT
boob job
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:10:08 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/22/2006 5:10:45 PM EDT by fla556guy]
Child support is just another way to protect women from being divorced. If it wasn't there would be more govenerment oversight.

Here's my idea.

1. Make the mother (or person in custody of the child) send in reciepts for all the purchases made for the child.
2. Only purchaces made for the child (items that only benefit the child: Diapers, etc) qualify
3. The purchases made are then split in half, and that ammount is what they non-custody parent is responsible for.
4. The non-custody parent gets to investigate where the $ went if they are doubtfull of it's useage.


This way, the non-custody parent can be sure that their hard earned $ is going to the child. They might be more apt to pay child support if they know 100% that the money is going to the child. I think a lot of the deadbeat dads, etc are actually caused by mothers not spending the child support $ on the child. Make damn sure that they $ is spent on the child, and give the mother a reason not to over spend (make her foot 50% of the bill, and you might just have a winning combination.

More child support paid, and the child is actually getting the benefit of it.

Then again, this is too common sensical to actually be put in place. Not to mention that the femenists would be in an uproar.
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:10:16 PM EDT
Going on dates... happens more than you think.
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:11:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By vmax84:

I would like to see that money put away for the upcoming college expenses........what are my odds with that one?

vmax84



Slim to none I would think ....

I'm not sure about MI , but in NY the non custodial parent
foots the bill for college . On top of child support .


Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:13:22 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/22/2006 5:14:27 PM EDT by NotMrWizard]
It's for whatever she wants to spend it on, and I really think the courts definitely need some restructuring in this department. My friend got the standard 1 day/week and every other weekend custody of their son. He wanted more time with him, so he asked to have him 2 days/week. And it cost him another $75 a month.

Wait a minute ... child support is supposed to be for when he DOESN'T have the child, correct?? He actually had to BUY another day of custody with his son.

To answer your original question, if you are on amicable terms, at least sit down with her and try to reason with her where the money should go.
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:13:39 PM EDT
Child support is "not accountable". She can gamble it away in Las Vegas and she hasn't broken any laws.
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:15:11 PM EDT
When I remarried I had my wife open an account and put my stepdaughters child support in it. When she graduated college we gave it all to her. We were glad she stayed on the GA hope scholarship all the way through school because it cost us almost nothing out of pocket. No way in hell I was going to have some guy telling people I was living off him.
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:15:36 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/22/2006 5:17:45 PM EDT by RatTerrier]

Originally Posted By vmax84:
I pay child support for two kids. I also have 50% physical and joint custody of them.

What exactly is the money that I pay "suppose" to be used for? Clothes for the kids, food, shoes, beer, car payments............?

I would like to see that money put away for the upcoming college expenses........what are my odds with that one?

vmax84



Child support can be applied to anything that is helping support the child....like the ex's rent (have to have a roof over your head), car payment (gotta be able to get back n fourth to work, dr, etc), insurance....etc...normal everyday costs of living.....because by her spending the child support money on that stuff, it is helping your ex "support" that child....by keeping the gas bill paid, electric bill paid, etc....so....they can spend it on food and beer as well....cause they're buying food n stuff with the child support money cause they have to eat....the food was paid for with the child support money and booze bought with hers. Its a shitty deal because it'd be REALLY nice to have receipts for the things that makes sense in them spending your money on, like clothes, food, etc....but they don't do that. And they don't care about you either, as long as you pay your CS and taking care of that child(s) they couldn't care less if you starve or not. This topic pisses me off.....its not fair to typically the male who ypically pays the CS.

Anyways, thats how my attorney*coughcrookcough* explained it to me. Hope this helps.
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:16:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By rcoers:

Originally Posted By vmax84:
She doesn't need the money since she has a decent job and her new husband makes good money...........I really need to sit down with her someday and try to figure out how we're going to get them thru college.

I am working with a financial advisor right now on setting money aside each month for the kids, but I just hope I'm not the only one doing this. Would be a lot nicer if I could get some help with this.

vmax84



Good luck with that. If I were you, I'd just plan for your ex to not be saving any of this $ for your kids' future and continue to show responsibility on your end and save for them. That's the only way to be sure. Best of luck, and good job on getting a financial advisor.



Making big progress with the financial advisor thing. Just about got all my money wrapped up with her (the financial lady)..........feels good to get my house in order again.

But like I said, sure would be nice knowing I didn't have to do this all on my own. I really need to have a civil talk with the ex on this.

vmax84
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:19:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By rcoers:
...My dad pays my mother around $300 month for my sister, even though he has her 50% of the time as well.



I also have joint legal and physical custody of my kids. I pay my ex $3,300 a month. At one point I was paying $5,400. Not much of it is going to the kids. The Gorgon hasn't had a job in the thirteen years we've been divorced, but she sure parks some nice cars in the garage of the house I gave her.

Not bad work if you can get it, eh?
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:20:51 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Rodent:

Originally Posted By rcoers:
...My dad pays my mother around $300 month for my sister, even though he has her 50% of the time as well.



I also have joint legal and physical custody of my kids. I pay my ex $3,300 a month. At one point I was paying $5,400. Not much of it is going to the kids. The Gorgon hasn't had a job in the thirteen years we've been divorced, but she sure parks some nice cars in the garage of the house I gave her.

Not bad work if you can get it, eh?



You gotta be kidding me...........3300 per month???

vmax84
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:21:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By mikejohnson:
the bitch can spend the money on ANYTHING - and if that means the kids wear burlap sacks, then you will probably spend more to clothe them properyl....sucks huh? I wish the laws would change on this bullshit...



Fat chance changing the laws. Legal momentum already carries in favor of females. The worst mother will still get child custody simply because of her gender. Men get the raw deal every time. Hell, look at the disparity in criminal sentencing between men & women for the same crimes. The "system" is rigged.
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:23:10 PM EDT
Bitch chiming in here. Personally, when I do get some payments. I buy stuff like underware and socks for the kids. Ideally, I'd like to spend it all on a car payment. On a car that's big enough for us all to fit in with seat belts. Maybe the rent or something like that. But I'm terminally optimistic. I'm thinking if I'm lucky, I'll get a payment this month.....
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:23:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Rodent:

Originally Posted By rcoers:
...My dad pays my mother around $300 month for my sister, even though he has her 50% of the time as well.



I also have joint legal and physical custody of my kids. I pay my ex $3,300 a month. At one point I was paying $5,400. Not much of it is going to the kids. The Gorgon hasn't had a job in the thirteen years we've been divorced, but she sure parks some nice cars in the garage of the house I gave her.

Not bad work if you can get it, eh?



Fuckin' A. $5,400 a month? Might I ask what you do?

PS, are you my dad?
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:45:36 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/22/2006 5:58:21 PM EDT by Rodent]

Originally Posted By rcoers:

Originally Posted By Rodent:

Originally Posted By rcoers:
...My dad pays my mother around $300 month for my sister, even though he has her 50% of the time as well.



I also have joint legal and physical custody of my kids. I pay my ex $3,300 a month. At one point I was paying $5,400. Not much of it is going to the kids. The Gorgon hasn't had a job in the thirteen years we've been divorced, but she sure parks some nice cars in the garage of the house I gave her.

Not bad work if you can get it, eh?



Fuckin' A. $5,400 a month? Might I ask what you do?



She's taken me back to court 19 times so far in the past 13 years. Number 20 is in the works already.

Once the judge we usually get (a woman, and she never gives me a break) ordered me to pay $5,400 a month. (And BTW I pay the taxes on that, too.) I appealed it and won, but in the interim I was literally paying her more than my net pay each month. At the end of each month, so much had been taken out of my pay that I actually owed my company money on payday. Had to refinance my house to pay for the appeal, too. If I'd lost, I think I'd probably still be in jail right now.

I'm a pilot. But not a very good one...



PS, are you my dad?


It's possible that you're my son, I'm ugly and I fucked a couple real pigs in my younger days...
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:53:16 PM EDT
What RatTerrier said.. no real oversight and forget about control over what is purchased. Your best bet for saving for college is just that... set up accounts you control and contribute extra money to the accounts. Also, thumbs up for the good women on this board... no doubt there are plenty of guys who don't pull their weight for their kids after a divorce, I see it all the time.

Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:58:01 PM EDT
If I were having to pay over $300 (per child), I'd just shoot myself. $3300....I'd shoot myself with a note to my child saying why I killed myself. Mommie took my ass for $5000 a month, and I just couldn't take that shit no more.

I thought child support ended when your ex got married.
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:58:55 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Rodent:

I also have joint legal and physical custody of my kids. I pay my ex $3,300 a month. At one point I was paying $5,400. Not much of it is going to the kids. The Gorgon hasn't had a job in the thirteen years we've been divorced, but she sure parks some nice cars in the garage of the house I gave her.

Not bad work if you can get it, eh?



Same here , only mine is tied into how well my business does each month .
The first couple of years I was getting hit for 34% , but believe it or not
during a review the judge dropped it to 25% . Which still puts it around $3K
a month on average

My youngest child will be 18 in about a year . At which time he gets to decide
if I pay him directly or keep paying his mother . My daughter opted for a checking
account that I keep tabs on when she turned 18 .
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:59:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By fla556guy:


I thought child support ended when your ex got married.




HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH­HAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!''


*takes a deep breath*

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH­AHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!


Sometimes it doesnt stop when the kid hits 18.
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 5:59:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By mikejohnson:
the bitch can spend the money on ANYTHING - and if that means the kids wear burlap sacks, then you will probably spend more to clothe them properyl....sucks huh? I wish the laws would change on this bullshit...





They should be as accountable for SPENDING the money as we are for SENDING the money.

wganz

Link Posted: 2/22/2006 6:00:11 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Rodent:

Originally Posted By rcoers:

Originally Posted By Rodent:

Originally Posted By rcoers:
...My dad pays my mother around $300 month for my sister, even though he has her 50% of the time as well.



I also have joint legal and physical custody of my kids. I pay my ex $3,300 a month. At one point I was paying $5,400. Not much of it is going to the kids. The Gorgon hasn't had a job in the thirteen years we've been divorced, but she sure parks some nice cars in the garage of the house I gave her.

Not bad work if you can get it, eh?



Fuckin' A. $5,400 a month? Might I ask what you do?



She's taken me back to court 19 times so far in the past 13 years. Number 20 is in the works already.

Once the judge we usually get (a woman, and she never gives me a break) ordered me to pay $5,400 a month. (And BTW I pay the taxes on that, too.) I appealed it and won, but in the interim I was literally paying her more than my net pay each month. At the end of each month, so much had been taken out of my pay that I actually owed my company money on payday. Had to refinance my house to pay for the appeal, too. If I'd lost, I think I'd probably still be in jail right now.

I'm a pilot. But not a very good one...



PS, are you my dad?


It's possible that you're my son, I'm ugly and I fucked a couple real pigs in my younger days...



holy shit, what happens if you get laid off and can't even come close to paying that much per month? i think in your situation i'd just disappear, get a new identity, and never be seen again.
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 6:02:48 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/22/2006 6:21:30 PM EDT by Rodent]

Originally Posted By FieroLoki:
...Sometimes it doesnt stop when the kid hits 18.



I'm still paying for a 19yo and a 21yo. My divorce stipulation said 18, but the ex took me back to court and the (female) judge changed that with the proverbial stroke of a pen.
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 6:16:25 PM EDT
I aways figured it was penance. Any woman who would put up with any one of us deserves everything we own or ever will. And more. Isn't that the way it works?

Kids? They can eat dog food if it comes down to it.


I never understood why guys pay out the ass for this shit. Never will either.

Link Posted: 2/22/2006 6:52:16 PM EDT
Since she does not "need" the money, you might be able to get the court to let you put it into an education account.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 5:39:50 AM EDT

Originally Posted By CMB69:
Since she does not "need" the money, you might be able to get the court to let you put it into an education account.



I tried calling the ex this morning, but nobody was home. I just need to approach this as a business (the business of doing what's best for the kids) and leave it at that.

I'm a pilot like Rodent, but I know he doesn't fly for the same company I do..........his paycheck is the same as mine.........just that the decimal point is in a different spot!!

vmax84

And thanks for all the responses.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 5:52:30 AM EDT
CS is nothing more than X wife support. No way in hell my X spends $1500 a month on the kids.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 6:08:06 AM EDT

She's taken me back to court 19 times ... more than my net pay each month.

A relative of mine did that to her ex-husband. Every single time the judge would order the poor guy to pay more money. When they divorced he had just finished medical school and before that he was a pro-hockey player for about eight years. The judge based the child support on the the guy's income when he was a professional athlete rather than a new GP in an expensive city (Chicago) with huge student loans. After a few times in court, she finally got more per month than his net, so he couldn't pay. She was able to get him arrested while at work in front of patients. He lost his job because of that. Other than that, she's a nice person. Other than in court, I've never heard her tell a lie. I don't understand why she's turned into such a demon when it comes to her ex-husband even though she was the one that left him.

She also got his parent's house (they died after they separated), their condo that he bought before they met, both cars, his gun collection (which she gave away, some of the pieces were pre-Revolutionary war!), his collection of antique records ("but I need to sell them to make money to live off of," she said), and leaving him with only one weekend a year of visitation.

Seeing how that poor guy was destroyed by the courts, I would never consider getting married if I was young.z
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 6:26:26 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Rodent:

It's possible that you're my son, I'm ugly and I fucked a couple real pigs in my younger days...



Someone's gotta grab this classic sig line....
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 6:37:15 AM EDT
Anything she wants. Just like the Katrina Debit cards.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 6:38:12 AM EDT

Originally Posted By zoom:

She's taken me back to court 19 times ... more than my net pay each month.

A relative of mine did that to her ex-husband. Every single time the judge would order the poor guy to pay more money. When they divorced he had just finished medical school and before that he was a pro-hockey player for about eight years. The judge based the child support on the the guy's income when he was a professional athlete rather than a new GP in an expensive city (Chicago) with huge student loans. After a few times in court, she finally got more per month than his net, so he couldn't pay. She was able to get him arrested while at work in front of patients. He lost his job because of that. Other than that, she's a nice person. Other than in court, I've never heard her tell a lie. I don't understand why she's turned into such a demon when it comes to her ex-husband even though she was the one that left him.

She also got his parent's house (they died after they separated), their condo that he bought before they met, both cars, his gun collection (which she gave away, some of the pieces were pre-Revolutionary war!), his collection of antique records ("but I need to sell them to make money to live off of," she said), and leaving him with only one weekend a year of visitation.

Seeing how that poor guy was destroyed by the courts, I would never consider getting married if I was young.z



Suddently, my problems don't seem like all that big of a deal. Damn.

vmax84
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 6:39:33 AM EDT
I would not count on the X going along with you plan. Why should she? She just has to take you back to court for more $$.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 6:56:45 AM EDT
Just wondering, does anyone here get child support from their female ex?

As a person who's deadbeat dad never provided cent one in child support over the 15 years he was required to (the bad old days of the '70s/'80s when it was easy to get away with) I have no sympathy for this crybaby whining. Are your wives on food stamps even after your support payments? I didn't think so. Own up to your responsibilities to your kids, they're worth it.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 6:59:59 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 7:00:14 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DarkNite:
Just wondering, does anyone here get child support from their female ex?

As a person who's deadbeat dad never provided cent one in child support over the 15 years he was required to (the bad old days of the '70s/'80s when it was easy to get away with) I have no sympathy for this crybaby whining. Are your wives on food stamps even after your support payments? I didn't think so. Own up to your responsibilities to your kids, they're worth it.



Men make up 95% of those who have to pay CS. Of those only about 5% are deadbeats.

Women are about 5% who have to pay CS and 95% of those are deadbeats.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 7:00:21 AM EDT
hookers & blow!!!
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:07:50 AM EDT

Originally Posted By vmax84:
I pay child support for two kids. I also have 50% physical and joint custody of them.

What exactly is the money that I pay "suppose" to be used for? Clothes for the kids, food, shoes, beer, car payments............?

I would like to see that money put away for the upcoming college expenses........what are my odds with that one?

vmax84



IMO, if you have 50% physical.jointt custody... then you shouldn't pay ANYTHING. If, however, you were a "weekends only" dad... then you should pay SOMETHING to help towards rent/house payment to house them etc.... but 50/50... that means 50/50... or it SHOULD. <shrug>
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 8:34:59 AM EDT
You know, if (white) men got up off our asses and used just half of our collective power, it'd be amazing what we could achieve. Imagine if we all walked off our jobs for a few days: chaos. If we stood together in voting, we'd see whom we wanted in representation.
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