Quoted: I want a marriage, I really don't care too much about a wedding.  I've seen how crazy my friends are all getting over theirs and it's so unbelievably retarded, I can't even fathom why it's so important to them.  I guess they want bragging rights at their next trophy wives' cocktail party.

Does this mean you are trophy wife material?

An occasion where J-Smith and I agree....

I think I need to go read the survival forum now for SHTF scenario preparedness...

All kidding aside, the hubby and I did it on a shoestring nearly 20 years ago. We paid for 1/2 our wedding (My Dad was NOT a rich man) and we scrimped because we wanted to save our $ to buy a home (my Dad was planning to sell the 2 family---which we were renting---ASAP.) I still have people telling me it was one of the nicest (and most fun) weddings they've ever attended.

I spent less on my entire wedding than a friend did on her dress alone 6 years later!
In all fairness, she's still married too.

I dunno, some people are more concerned about appearances and keeping up with the Joneses than others are.

Quoted: This is one area where having 3 sisters has granted me a little insight. All girls are programmed with the desire to be princesses. Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Barbie...it starts from birth and just snowballs. As they grow older they start to realize that they will never get to be princesses. Instead of a castle they get a 3 bedroom house in the 'burbs. Instead of a coach they get a minivan. They are going to have to work, they are going to have to clean, they are going to have to have children, gain weight and wind up just like their mothers...except on their wedding day. The day that they get married is the day that all of their fantasies about being a princess and having prince charming sweep them off their feet gets to come true. And there really is no substitute for it. They have to have their high dollar nutso wedding or else their lives will be miserible and whoever stood in the way of it will be responsible for depriving them of their one chance to be a princess. Even if they say that they don't mind...they really do. It's all bullshit. A woman HAS to have a fancy wedding (at least the first time she is married) or she will secretly hate whoever talked her out of it forever.  Simple as that.

WERD!!!

Quoted: I want a marriage, I really don't care too much about a wedding.  I've seen how crazy my friends are all getting over theirs and it's so unbelievably retarded, I can't even fathom why it's so important to them.  I guess they want bragging rights at their next trophy wives' cocktail party.

All, and I do mean all, of our college friends on my side of the ocean had HUUUUGE expen$#ive weddings.All are now divorced, separated or miserable with each other. We had a small wedding we paid for ourselves. We are still together.

Weddings are NOT for the bride. They are for the families. In many cases, weddings and funerals are, for example, the last time the proverbial Aunt Bessie and Aunt Jessie ever get to see each other.

OTOH, huge potlatch-style weddings used to be my stock-in-trade as a wedding photographer, although generally the bigger the wedding, the nastier the customer. The rich either pay slow- or they don't pay at all.

Small weddings of blue collar immigrant people were usually the best; customers who paid you in cash, treated you fairly and liked your best work. Polish, Italian, and Puerto Rican (yes, they are American) and Central American were the nicest. People who like traditional pics but like new ideas. Very cooperative and enthusiastic in posing, which can take a while, esp. if nobody speaks English. And later, everybody orders lots of pics, even years later. They were a lot of fun. I miss doing those kinds of weddings.

Rich snobs (usually people who came up from the poorhouse, but did not acquire class and manners in the process) were the worst.

One bride's mother freaked out at the color of her gown in some group pics. When I explained to her the limitations of color negative film and prints, and how if we adjusted the color of her dress it would make everybody's faces in the pics look like they had jaundice, she said, "I'm paying for this- you fix the color of my dress- NOW!". She got what she wanted...

And to top it off, she was very late in paying.

One bride was visibly pregnant- seven months along. No matter how big the bouquet I had in front of her belly, and no matter what manner of masks and lenses I used, there was no way to hide her condition. She looked like she had swallowed a medicine ball. Her Marine bridegroom looked shell-shocked the whole time. Last I knew they were divorced and she was a drug addict living in her mother's basement.

Another bride insisted in having me take pics of her getting dressed with her bridesmaids present. I suddenly realized looking through the lens that this woman had some bizarre tattoos in some very odd places- and they showed up in the scene later at the altar....

Other brides' mothers insisted in having me airbrush out people in pics whom they didn't like (long before Photoshop)- and they wanted me to do it for free...(NO WAY!), getting extra prints/albums for free ("we have more daughters- we'll use you again, if you do this for us now...")

One customer stiffed me for the balance, but since I asked my customers for 1/3 the money upfront (good advice from an old pro), I had all my costs covered.Last I heard they were bankrupt- again....

American weddings...sheesh- they are designed mostly to make money- for other people. And the customers are vanity cases. Never again.

When my princess got hitched about five years ago, my missus and she made it quite clear early on that I was just to sit in the corner, shut up and keep shaking the fargin money tree as they prepped for the BIG DAY.

About three months before the nups, my wife flew out to Kali to "help".  Shortly after that the bills started coming in.

We flew out a week before the nups.  Suddenly, I was on a runaway train of shopping, picking up shit...errands and stupid shit that I hadn't the first clue about.

My princess had the ceremony and the reception at her FIL's ranch in Ojai, CA.  Real toney, pinkys out place.  Hollywierd retreat community in the hills north of La La Land.  I recommended the O' Club on the base but she wasn't having any of that.

She had two DJs  (Don't ask...'cause I don't know why...something to do with the ceremony on the front lawn and the reception in the back of the place .)  The reception was catered...of course!  We had a dance floor installed.  Kegs of beer for the homey-rednecks, cases of hard stuff for the real drunks and cases of champaign for the ceremonial table centerpieces.  Do you know how much that asshole FRONK got in real life for that ceremony in the movie "Father of the Bride"  At least we didn't have the fucking swans!

Anyway...late in the evening when I was tired and my feet hurt, I sat at one of the many big round tables (That I had rented...and poured the last of the champaign at that table into my glass.  Some bitch who I didn't know from Eve made a snippy comment about me "stealing" their wine...to which I simply replied, "Well, since it was just sitting there losing it's fizz, and SINCE I PAID FOR IT, I figured you wouldn't mind!"  <<glug...glug...glug>>  .  To which the dummy replied, "Ohhh...YOU'RE the Father of the Bride, aren't you?  I guess it's all right then!"  "Why yes, ma'am, I seem to remember something about her being my daughter..."

Just like the movie...I was just an ornament with money for the girls to spend on this wedding.  I have NEVER felt so useless.

Anyway...my little girl had a good time...and I guess that's what's important.  I still think they should have taken my cash offer and eloped to Vegas.

I am CONVINCED that the wedding industry is the biggest scam in the country.

Quoted: Because most females are conditioned from birth to find their prince charming, have a magnificent wedding, and ride off into everlasting bliss in the distant sunset just like the fairy tales they read and had read to them growing up. The reality is quite different.  Ever watch the show Bridezillas? I've been to big weddings that cost at least $100K and all I can do is shake my head. What a waste of resources and all it does is stress everybody out.  Chances are within 10 years they'll be divorced anyway so it's an even bigger waste of resources, but I guess somebody has to support the wedding industry.

Did someone say "Bridezilla"?



The Bride from Hell

Bride from Hell Speaks....

I would agree that weddings are a big deal and bigger industry in America.  If I or anyone else here were just a little bit smarter, we'd be involved in that industry.  We didn't go overboard on ours but did have 300+ guests at our wedding reception.  As far as that goes our Rehearsal party was almost 100.  People really do (and I alike) take it from the standpoint that we are only doing this once in a lifetime.  It should be a big deal in light of the fact that in most cases it is a religious event and vow before God.  Yeah, I'd say its a big deal.

BTW
We thought it was small because we didn't get to invite all on our lists.
And we paid for everything ourselves

Don't know why. I swear if I get married it's going to be something classy, small and tropical!

If I get married... I'll be eloping.

And then have a small family gathering at a later date.

Quoted: I am getting married in 2 months and total spent for the wedding will be about 5k. It is a huge waste of money.......but I am not paying for it!

Oh you'll pay, trust me, you'll pay.

The two wedding horror stories I personally saw were:

1) A woman I worked with, who was the mother of the bride, spendt $50K on an enormous reception for her daughter . . . who cancelled the wedding on less than two weeks' notice.  Airline tickets had been bought, the hall was paid for, all the catering and cake and such was arranged, and the bride backed out of the wedding.  The mother of the bride couldn't get any of her money back, and neither could a lot of the guests who were flying in for it, so everyone went and had a big $50K party and vacation for no particular reason.

2) On Long Island about 15 years ago, I was at a hotel bar hanging out with some friends when a wedding reception turned ugly.  The husband of a female guest at the reception caught her screwing some other guy in a closet.  The woman tried to pretend it was coerced, but the husband wasn't buying any of that bullshit, and he beat her into a bloody pulp.  She went into the ambulance wrapped in more white gauze than the bride's dress.  Everyone else was pretty much in shock;  the bride was completely horrified, talking with the cops about the disaster.

My cousin's parents told her she could have the fancy wedding or the cash.  She took the cash.    They "eloped" and had fun with it.  Her husband even brought a ladder around to her window and her Dad helped hold it.

IIRC, they used some of the money for a down-payment on a house and the rest to help him get started in his medical practice.

Quoted: 2) On Long Island about 15 years ago, I was at a hotel bar hanging out with some friends when a wedding reception turned ugly.  The husband of a female guest at the reception caught her screwing some other guy in a closet.  The woman tried to pretend it was coerced, but the husband wasn't buying any of that bullshit, and he beat her into a bloody pulp.  She went into the ambulance wrapped in more white gauze than the bride's dress.  Everyone else was pretty much in shock;  the bride was completely horrified, talking with the cops about the disaster.

Holy $hit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
That's not good, not good at all.

We spent about 2500 bucks on ours and we had to pay for it.  I spent about 5k on the ring because I wanted to.  It was beautiful and I wanted the most beautiful woman in the world to me to have that forever.  The wedding we did as cheap as possible. Friends gave up their house (they have like 6 daughters, they have done this a lot), other friends did the food (I paid for the food, but not the prep), some of the gifts were people's time or skills or whatever.  The dress cost less than $200 and we did it with a nice suit (not a tux, because suits can last for years)
And blew $hitloads of money on the honeymoon, because we wanted to.

I have read that many parents in India kill their female babies right after birth because the Dowrys have become so excessive.


People are stupid and crazy.  That is all.

Saw all this happen with my sister. She decided she needed the big wedding, my Mom went crazy with the preperations, the venue, flowers and all the other B.S. My mom made me come home from a business trip in Europe for the weekend (I made her pay for that ticket!) because all the rest of the family, cousins, relatives were flying in and "this might be the last time the family gets together". My Dad must have spent over $15K.
Less than three years later, their divorce is finalized. He got the house in Wash., she's in an apartment in Houston.
I don't get it.

Yet another guy who I work with is getting out of the military within the next three days.......he's worried about paying for an engagement ring for his girlfriend. Its not the cost of the engagement ring........its the lofty high-living standards he aspires to match when his paycheck now and future - clearly don't.

Maturity is seen when a potential bride and groom realize what is going to really matter down the road. Not the immediate gratification scam that so many get suckered in to. If you can't afford it  ( ring, wedding, etc.) - should you really be buying it??? Call me crazy - I've been taught that bills, house/vehicle payments, and feeding hungry mouths are more important then superficial symbols. I like what one person did - on their 10th or 25th anniversary they gave their wife the nice ring they really wanted to give her. But at the beginning of the marriage, they didn't live under some delusion - they approached the relationship realistically. In the end, all the symbols surrounding a wedding are just that. Symbols. And without real commitment, its just a bunch of symbols.

Because people are basically fucking crazy.

Quoted: Short answer: Women are crazy, but they've got all the vaginas.

and some will rent them to you by the hour.

Get this shit........Confirmation that this guy is not only whipped beyond recognition but metrosexual too......He had his eyebrows trimmed and waxed. He looks like he had the fucking Madonna makeover. I was going to take a picture of the the horror but didnt want to be too obvious. I mean granted there are stereotypes with him being from Jersey and all. But what the hell........

Kind of like the guy at work who bragged about his pocket manicure kit on the last deployment. My Gaydar has been going off like crazy of late.

A co-worker wanted to sell me a 1911 at an insane, cheap price. I asked him why he wanted to sell it. He said "I don't want to sell it but my fiance doesn't want guns in the house after we get married". I looked at him with a deadpan stare and replied "I think I'd be looking to get rid of the fiance not the .45". The whole room burst into laughter (even the non-gun people and all the women) I however, wasn't joking. He got and stayed pissed at me after that. I understand the marriage is in trouble now after only three years.

My S.I.L. spent $60k of her parents money for a Disney wedding! It was like attending a funeral for a clown, what a fiasco! The marriage only lasted six years.

Quoted: Because people are basically fucking crazy.

I like it.   I like it alot

Co-worker of mine took out a second mortage to pay for her only spoiled rotton princess' extravagant storybook wedding.  5yrs to pay it off.....3 more months to go.  The first marrage lasted just short of 3yrs.  Now princess is getting married to Mr.Right#2 and wants "this wedding to be better than the last".

Quoted: Evolution all comes down to a small cleft of skin that contains all of the control

He's actually in bondage to his pleasure, not the pussy itself.

I spent less than $600 on my wedding. We had the ceremony in my wifes best friends back yard, her sister made the cake, my wife and my Mom and sister made her dress, and for the reception we had barbacue chicken and potato salad. It was the coolest wedding I have ever been too, and Im not just saying that because it was my own. It was layed back and everyone enjoyed themselves.

Having a low stress wedding also helps the wedding night go a lot easier.

Heck I've been married for 18 years and I still havent bought my wife any rings She does not want one

Quoted: I spent less than $600 on my wedding. We had the ceremony in my wifes best friends back yard, her sister made the cake, my wife and my Mom and sister made her dress, and for the reception we had barbacue chicken and potato salad. It was the coolest wedding I have ever been too, and Im not just saying that because it was my own. It was layed back and everyone enjoyed themselves. Having a low stress wedding also helps the wedding night go a lot easier.

Best kind of wedding there is. A chance for everybody to get together and have a good time. Spending lots of money does not guarantee a good time.

i always fight with my mom if the topic of marriage comes up. she wants me to have some BS wedding with a bunch of people i can't stand invited. no thank you. i'd be happy with vegas! if i really wanted to be married to someone it's not about dresses and flowers and all that other crap K.I.S.S.!

In our circle if the bride isn't a virgin she is not even entitled to a white dress! The weddings for first timers are elaborate but inexpensive due to church involvement ie props and volunteers. I left my reception in a helicopter. No one has topped that one yet!

Quoted: I have I mean had a friend like that.  She made the list out for people to invite to his father’s funeral. Me and some other people who had known both he and his father for 20 years were not on the approved list. I used to feel sorry for him, now I just think he is a punk with no visitation rights to his own testicles.

That just blows my mind.  How do you get the arrogance to decide who gets to show respect to someone who's passed on?  <shakes head>