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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:24:47 PM EDT
[#1]
You can get vicodin?
Hook me up! 
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:25:55 PM EDT
[#2]
NO! 
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:26:30 PM EDT
[#3]
The best part is, most of our society thinks you should do this for free.
I have a good one regarding eating fish. How much detail is a HIPAA violation? JOE |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:27:33 PM EDT
[#4]
How about some Percocet? |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:28:06 PM EDT
[#5]
what's your number? I'd like to call 
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:28:39 PM EDT
[#6]
You think your job sucks?
I gotta drive 150 miles tomorrow.....and back. It is a Golf tournament.....but I gotta do it. It is business related, and people expect me there. It sucks. I sell Liquor, wine and beer the rest of the time. Things are tough all over.  jj
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:30:19 PM EDT
[#7]
No names, no locations, no HIPPA violation. |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:30:53 PM EDT
[#8]
Phone call in the middle of the night to a veternarian:
Vet: Hello. Woman: You've got to help me! My little dog Rex is "hooked up" with a female dog and can't get lose. Vet: Hit him with a broom. Woman: I did! It didn't work. Vet: Spray him with a garden hose. Woman: I did! It didn't work! Vet: Hang up. Hold the phone close to him and I will call. When it rings, he will quit. Woman: Do you think it will work? Vet: It did for me. |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:34:45 PM EDT
[#9]
I feel your pain... but that's funny!! It always amazes me how some people manage to get themselves out of bed in the morning.... God help us!!
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:36:06 PM EDT
[#10]
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:36:09 PM EDT
[#11]
A lot of people abuse the system to get narcotics. But a lot of doctors IMO won't even give out the good stuff like demorahol when its needed a patient asks for it.
I had my tonsils out, and I asked the doctor for demorahol for pain, or something as strong as that becuase it worked for me in the past, and he gave me some weak ass pain pills. |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:38:15 PM EDT
[#12]
ARDOC,
Same thing here in EL all the time.... Be strong, get out early. BT |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:41:58 PM EDT
[#13]
First of all most of us have stopped using Demerol. It breaks down into toxic subchemicals that have caused patients problems. Second Demerol is mostly given via IM or IV. I doubt you any IV sites on your body at this moment. |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:45:40 PM EDT
[#14]
I tell you what, demerhol is some good shit. 
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:50:59 PM EDT
[#15]
My life story:
Huge Gang Banger: Hey, wha' chu got in dat box? Paramedic: Bandages dude. Huge Gang Banger: Das it? No drugs? Paramedic: Nope. Sorry. Huge Gang Banger: Yah, right. Bet it's the good stuff too. Paramedic: No. Huge Gang Banger: Well, lemme look anyway. Give here! LAPD, walking up: HEY! Huge Gang Banger: Shit! (Runs away) Over and over and over........ |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:51:44 PM EDT
[#16]
I am probably gonna get flamed for this but I friggin HATE Vicodin.. got a scrip for it when I went in for surgery and took one the first night,,, hated the way I felt... Took regular tylenol. Took the edge off the pain... no biggie.
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:53:43 PM EDT
[#17]
especially if you double the dosage and wash it down with a BIG glass of chardonnay. My wife would put on the reggae station for me before she left the house at 8am, an hour later it was 5pm and she was home from work! |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 2:57:15 PM EDT
[#18]
One of my associates was on call at the hospital. We have to take calls for patients of our training clinic. Approx 3am gets a page to call patient at home.
Dr: What can I do for you? Patient: I was wondering if it would be okay for me to eat fish? Dr: I guess?? Why do you ask? Patient: I was awake and I would really like to eat some fish. Dr: I don't see why not. Patient: So I can eat fish? Dr: I think that would be fine. Patient: They told me not to eat fish... Dr: What are you not telling me? Do you have an allergy of some sort? Patient: I had a treatment for my thyroid[ablation], and I was told not to eat fish for 24 hours. Dr: When was that? Patient: Yesterday afternoon. Dr: [Figures out what's going on] If it hasn't been 24 hours, then no. Don't eat any fish. Patient: But I would really like to eat some fish now. Dr: Please wait the 24 hours like you were told earlier. Anything else? Patient: Yes, they said no consumption. Dr: Consumption of what? Patient: No consumption. Dr: ?? Please spell this out. Patient: C-O-N-C-E-P-T-I-O-N Dr: [Expalins] Anything else? Patient: So no fish? Dr: No.  Goodnight.Interestingly, most of the amusing stories come from my co-workers, when they happen to be taking care of patients normally assigned to me. JOE |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 3:01:42 PM EDT
[#19]
You and me both. Two Extra Strength Tylenol's and I'm good. I hate feeling loopy on med's. |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 3:05:38 PM EDT
[#20]
The few times I was given demorhol, it was the best feeling. They always gave it to me in a shot.
If they could make that in a pill, the doctors would be selling out of it.
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Posted: 2/19/2006 3:18:59 PM EDT
[#21]
 
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Posted: 2/19/2006 3:22:55 PM EDT
[#22]
Were just looking for a good time man. 
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Posted: 2/19/2006 3:29:08 PM EDT
[#23]
Thanks for the hard work you guys do... post some more calls please. |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 3:38:05 PM EDT
[#24]
My buddy feels your pain for sure. He pulls all nighters at a hospital in NYC. Here is the text message he sent me the other night (3am EST).
"Hey man. I am the night time gynecologist for the entire hospital, and I am up to my ears in c*$t. How are you and the wife?"  I laughed my ass off --VT |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 3:50:40 PM EDT
[#25]
ARDOC, can I have your number?
I want to call at about 2:00am and say this... "Doc, it hurts when I do this" Then see what you say, that would be funny as hell  GM |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 3:51:48 PM EDT
[#26]
you and ARDOC need to team up on a 'tales from jaded doctors' thread. 
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Posted: 2/19/2006 3:54:27 PM EDT
[#27]
I wish like hell I had kept a journal. I could've written one helluva book. |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 3:55:56 PM EDT
[#28]
Hell, sit down at the keyboard with a case of beer and start writing. The stories would get even better! |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 3:58:20 PM EDT
[#29]
I feel your pain, we(FD) get called "to" them, not just from them, I could fill 100 pages with the BS calls we go on, and because of liability concerns, we have to tell most of them to go to the E.R. The calls that get me the most are like the ones you mentioned, 3am, and they don't feel well, you ask how long have you felt this way, and they say for 4 days. They always seem to decide to call in the middle of the night. We had an adult male, and I use that term lightly, call us in the middle of the night because he couldn't go to the bathroom, we told him that wasn't an emergency, and he said "It is when I can't BOO BOO", in a whiney voice.......What do you do but roll your eyes, and go on, this guy went to the E.R. via ambulance, because he couldn't BOO BOO. We thought about it later, but we should have brought in a fire hose, and said we can fix you right up.
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Posted: 2/19/2006 3:59:31 PM EDT
[#30]
I did not know you can get pain meds for hemmorid surgery....
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Posted: 2/19/2006 4:04:30 PM EDT
[#31]
Doc, call these people back about two weeks later at 4.00AM and ask if the meds are working.
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Posted: 2/19/2006 4:08:05 PM EDT
[#32]
What the hell is boo boo? |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 4:08:44 PM EDT
[#33]
I am beginning to believe that they should only allow their use for hospitalized pts. That would reveal just how many narcotic abusers there are out there and uncover the codependent bullshit that many physicians take part in.
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Posted: 2/19/2006 4:12:20 PM EDT
[#34]
Doesn't do SHIT for me! They kept trying to give that to me, to help me sleep...I'd tell them, that shit doesn't work on me....I've been taking Pain Meds SO long...doesn't do shit.....they'd come back in my room.....why aren't U asleep?.......
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Posted: 2/19/2006 4:13:54 PM EDT
[#35]
I hate Morphine...shit makes me sick..... I take Lortab 10's, approx every 4 to 6 with Oxy kickers when needed....  edited for clarification....I guess I should state that I'm disabled, have big ass rods, and long ass screws in my spine....I would say that you get used to pain....but I haven't now...going on 6 years! |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 4:20:36 PM EDT
[#36]
 " term for shit. ie.. I can't booboo,.... means I can't shit.
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Posted: 2/19/2006 5:19:49 PM EDT
[#37]
Booboo = taking a shit
Vomiking = throwing up There are so many other pseudo words you would be surprised. |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 5:29:59 PM EDT
[#38]
I never saw the appeal of Vicodin, either. Got some when I broke an arm bone, and it seemed pretty candy-ass to me. If I'm going to take drugs the pain has to be bad, and if it's that bad I want to be knocked flat on my ass until it's all over.
Still got some in the medicine cabinet. Hey, maybe I could sell it on eBay! |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 5:31:08 PM EDT
[#39]
Funny story told to me by my cousin who is a State Trooper;
At the time he was a new Trooper. Pulls over lady for speeding, she is heading away from the city. He does the normal and asks her if there was any particular reason why she was speeding. She says, "I'm having a miscarriage, I need to get to a hospital!" He thinks this is odd because she is not heading towards a hospital. She then sticks her hand down her pants and shows him her bloody fingers. He calls dispatch to get an ambulance (dispatch screws with him a little and repeatedly asks him where the lady is bleeding from - in attempts to get him to say "vagina" on the radio). Anyway, the ambulance arrives and they promptly find out that this woman is on the rag! |
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Posted: 2/19/2006 5:35:54 PM EDT
[#40]
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Posted: 2/19/2006 5:40:27 PM EDT
[#41]
we had woman that called, and kept repeating she had a loop hanging out of her ass, we couldn't figure out what she meant, and finally realised she had hemmoroids, she wanted to show us, we declined.
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