Big change. Divorce is number two only to death of immediate family as far as messing you up for a while.
Make no life changing decisions until your heads on straight again.
DO NOT hook up with the first woman you hook up with.

Great advice here fellas.

Hit the gym.
Treat yourself to whatever gun you want.
Get the dog.
Find someone who is upbeat and smiles alot because of you.
And, just give it time, I'm in my 2nd year and doing better.

Thanks guys, you guys really are friends whom of which I never met

DO NOT hook up with the first woman you hook up with.

Quoted: DO NOT hook up with the first woman you hook up with.

Isn't that like two negatives = a positive?

Doesn't he really mean to hook up with the woman?

errr..

My brain hurts.

Quoted: Another woman isn't going to make it go away.  If anything she will probably cause more feelings to come up.  You just need to spend time doing things for yourself.  Build your AR.  Take a trip to some place you have always wanted to go to.  Do some things you have always wanted to do but your ex has always complained about and prevented you from doing.  In time you'll get over it and in the mean time you'll be able to catch up on a lot of the things you were missing out on.

I built a dozen ARs after my divorce.  It didn't make me feel any better about anything, just broker and better armed.


ETA:  Just make damn sure that if she keeps the house, she refinances solely in her name it first.  If you're on the mortgage and she defaults, the mortgage company can come after you no matter what you agreed to in the divorce.  

Quoted: Quoted: DO NOT hook up with the first woman you hook up with. Isn't that like two negatives = a positive? Doesn't he really mean to hook up with the woman? errr.. My brain hurts.

I think he is trying to say dont hook up with the first chick he bangs

hotornot.com and press on.  

vmax84

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: DO NOT hook up with the first woman you hook up with. Isn't that like two negatives = a positive? Doesn't he really mean to hook up with the woman? errr.. My brain hurts. I think he is trying to say dont hook up with the first chick he bangs

I thought thats what "hooking up" implies.

Of course I'm not a guy but I did go through a nasty divorce. Well I should clarify it was emotionally [and financially] difficult on me but compared to many I've read about here, it was rather simple. My husband left me for another woman. He filed for divorce he wanted 1/2 the equity in our house which is where I ran a home daycare so I could support my [our] two children. Oregon has a no fault divorce so the judge granted him this and gave to him our only reliable vehicle which was a fairly new pick up that I bought and paid for with my own money.  I was granted child support which he refuses to pay.

AT first I was devastated. My kids were young and high needs [our oldest boy is autistic and at the time non verbal] my youngest was under 2. I hated men for quite a while. I went to the gym and taught aerobics. It took me a couple of years but I started socializing and I dated briefly but vowed never to become dependent on another again.

In time the anger subsided. If I had it to do all over again I would have smacked him with a baseball bat at least once.

My advice to you? Read this book:

Click here

Your lucky.  I don't have my wife's permission to get a divorce.

It's going to get better, my friend, but it always seems to take longer than you thought it would. (I remember people telling me that and thinking "WHEN?!)

I was devastated by my divorce, but now my life is so much better that I look back and shudder to think that I would have stayed together if I could have.

Use this opportunity to take an unblinking look at yourself, and make the changes that need to be made. Get your head together. Go camping alone, think and read. Get in shape, have your teeth whitened, whatever. Do some traveling to broaden your perspective. Don't be in a hurry, and don't smell like desperation. Make a concious decision to come through this with wisdom instead of bitterness. Be what you should be, and a better woman will find you eventually, promise.

It's a cliche, but it's a cliche for a reason: This isn't an end unless you make it one. It's an opportunity for a new beginning.

Quoted: Your lucky.  I don't have my wife's permission to get a divorce.

Wow.....now that's funny......

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: DO NOT hook up with the first woman you hook up with. Isn't that like two negatives = a positive? Doesn't he really mean to hook up with the woman? errr.. My brain hurts. I think he is trying to say dont hook up with the first chick he bangs I thought thats what "hooking up" implies.

Hooking up has a few different meenings..   It can meen just dating, just screwing, or actually going out with.  Some people even consider getting a phone number "hooking up"  Thats stretching it too far IMO..

So another way to rephrase it..  Don't pursue anything serious with the first girl you start shaggin'  

Got tired of being a beast of burden.