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Posted: 2/16/2006 6:03:51 AM EDT
You have the choice of dating two women who are basically the same in all respects (intelligence, attractivness, financially, etc), except one has a child or children. You can only choose one to date. What reasons would you have to date the one with children?

Just curious with all the divorce/dating/non-biological father being responsible for the child threads that always pop up.



Link Posted: 2/16/2006 6:06:28 AM EDT
you KNOW she puts out .
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 6:07:04 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 6:08:25 AM EDT
More people available to 'git me a beer , dammit !.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 6:14:45 AM EDT
The last three women I dated had children. Many, Many years ago.

The first had two chldren (one of each). The second had a daughterl. Mrs. Colt_SBR has a daughter.

_________________________



Link Posted: 2/16/2006 6:15:33 AM EDT

Originally Posted By weptek911:
More people available to 'git me a beer , dammit !.


Link Posted: 2/16/2006 6:38:55 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/16/2006 1:37:53 PM EDT by u-baddog]

Why would you date a woman with children?


You just watched your older brother 63yo almost die. You saw his kids nursed him back to health after heart surgery.
Your 35 and never married. You also have a little heart problem so your thinking about the future and who will help you when you get sick. The future looks bleek, you feel alone because most of your life youve been a loner and really havent developed the interperson skills to land a good mate so your options are very limited and you know it.
You feel the need to get married and have kids but it seems a little too late to start from scratch. Your also thinking you dont have a lot to offer a mate so beggers cant be chooser. So you look for a women who's desperate and looking for a father for her few kids in their early teens.

BINGO, date a few times then ask her to married you.

Not me but I watched it happen.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 6:53:37 AM EDT
Why date a woman who has kids?

Cause if you get married... INSTANT tax deductions. Woohoo!
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 6:54:00 AM EDT

Originally Posted By cluster:
you KNOW she puts out .



You KNOW she puts out.....and if she gets pregnant....you KNOW she will have your baby while you are NOT married.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 6:54:51 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/16/2006 6:56:58 AM EDT by jimtash9]
Been there done that and I can say wholeheartedly never again. Single young women with kids usually fall into two categories; crazy or have made bad judgement calls and that's why their relationship fell apart or loose and they have kids by several different men. In either case, there's no way in hell I'd want anything to do with them. I'd rather stay single.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 6:56:54 AM EDT
Being 21, no.

If in 20 + years... then I'd have no real choice.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 6:57:50 AM EDT
too much luggage
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:02:17 AM EDT
Do you want to go to the end of the line when it comes to EVERYTHING, marry a woman with kids.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:04:27 AM EDT
I married a woman with two children from a previous marriage. I love those two kids as my own son my wife and I have and they have known me as long as they can remember.

We dated before getting married.

So to answer your question, yes.

Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:32:30 AM EDT
if she knows you care at all about the kids are nice to them, she will provide you with far better love and not just sex...personally, I think women who have had kids and maintain their health are far sexier than women who haven't...
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:45:17 AM EDT
I am in love with a girl who I have known for 10 years who has a kid. But I don't think it would ever work out, due to her having the child.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:48:19 AM EDT
It depends entirely on the woman and the kids.

If she and her kids are good caring people why not.

If the single woman is more worried about what her friends think....she ain't worth my time!
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:48:50 AM EDT
No kids if all things else are being equal.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:49:03 AM EDT
What if she has a 21 year old daughter that wants to join in the fun?
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:50:58 AM EDT
not even an option for me, I HATE kids. they always remind me of the little bastards in Iraq that would throw rocks and pull knives on us.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:52:58 AM EDT
If I am going to date within my age group, it is a given that they will have children.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:53:48 AM EDT
depends on the age.

Younger women - you'd want one without kids. Less to worry about / deal with. Kids are more dependent on the mother, more of a strain on her income, etc, etc.

Older women - kids are older, can operate more independently of their mother. Plus at a certain age if you're dating a woman wihtout children, you have to wonder what happened to her normal drive to have children. Is she going to go through her 'I need to have a kid NOW' crisis while she's dating you?
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:57:01 AM EDT

Originally Posted By bblake00:
What if she has a 21 year old daughter that wants to join in the fun?



Someone is thinking this one through!
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:58:08 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Flakchak:
Why date a woman who has kids?

Cause if you get married... INSTANT tax deductions. Woohoo!




theres the dealmaker right there
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:58:27 AM EDT

Originally Posted By cluster:
you KNOW she puts out .



More importantly, you know she is good at, cause she got a fuck trophy.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:03:11 AM EDT

Originally Posted By 1MissouriMule:
It depends entirely on the woman and the kids.
If she and her kids are good caring people why not.
If the single woman is more worried about what her friends think....she ain't worth my time!



+1 It depends entirely on the woman and the kids. If she and her kids are good caring people why not. What if the situation was that she was very happily married and unfortunately widowed? You could have a good decent woman that has her head on straight.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:11:16 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Stealth:

Originally Posted By bblake00:
What if she has a 21 year old daughter that wants to join in the fun?



Someone is thinking this one through!



Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:12:02 AM EDT
Instant family, just add YOU!

Seriously though this is a bad situation. She's going to have baggage and may be damaged goods emotionally. Either the father will be a factor or his absence will be. Then there's the kids. There's a chance they will have emotional problems due to the breakup or a lack of a father. There's a better chance they you will have problems adjusting to you.

The best plan is a) sort your shit out, b) find a woman who has her shit sorted out, c) date long enough be sure you're right for each other and that she really does have her shit sorted out, d) get married and e) keep both your shit sorted out and make the marriage work. Anything else will lead to trouble.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:19:57 AM EDT
My Ex wife hated children and we never had them. I am marrying my fiance on leave in July. She has 2 wonderful kids and we want at least one more. Families are good.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:25:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By blueheeler66:

Originally Posted By 1MissouriMule:
It depends entirely on the woman and the kids.
If she and her kids are good caring people why not.
If the single woman is more worried about what her friends think....she ain't worth my time!



+1 It depends entirely on the woman and the kids. If she and her kids are good caring people why not. What if the situation was that she was very happily married and unfortunately widowed? You could have a good decent woman that has her head on straight.



Or what about the woman who breaks up with the guy cause he's crazy and/or abusive to her or her child?
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:31:55 AM EDT
no way, I dont want to support another man's children

women with children are damaged goods
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:40:55 AM EDT
There are never any guarantees in life, but I have found that single women I have dated are less stable emotionally than women with the responsibility of a family of thier own. I'd never date a woman who just needed a daddy figure for her kids-she has to interest me the same as any single woman, and her kids get judged on their own merit. Just like my Stepdad did.

Dave
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:47:05 AM EDT
My ex-wife had a one year old son when we got married.
Now he's 16 and he lives with me most of the time.
He's my son now.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:47:59 AM EDT
I wouldn't date a woman with children.

Not even if I were single!
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:53:22 AM EDT


If such a choice were possible (and its really not). But if two women had all the exact same qualtities (sexy, money, conscientiousness, love, guns, etc) and one had kids and the other didn't, one might still choose the one with kids because you just might think her kids are kind of neat and deserving of a good male role model.

Link Posted: 2/16/2006 10:12:47 AM EDT
I'm creeping up on 30, and the hard fact is that most women around my age, are likely to have SOME kind of baggage... failed relationships, failed marriages, kids, or some combination thereof. It's tough. I always envisioned meeting a nice, sweet young lady who has a past, but not too much baggage.

I would date a woman with a kid (maybe two... one is enough for my tastes!) if she had herself together. If she could take care of her business, take care of her kid, have her shit together, and still have time to have a relationship, and do things that would not include the kid all the time. (i.e., if she could leave the kid with her parents or something while we go out, or go away for a weekend, etc etc)

In fact, I know a young lady that has a son, and I know she's interested in me. The bad thing is, she's young. 20. Her kid is almost 2. She's a sweet girl, and she's fairly mature, but there are areas that are lacking. If she were 24ish, maybe things wouldn't be as lacking. Her parents help out a lot, and often take her son for the weekend, and help out with 'daycare', so that would be a bonus. I know her parents, and they like me. The situation might not be too bad. Oh, she also digs guns, so that's a bonus. I'm afraid she wants something too serious too quickly. I know she does want to be married and have more kids, but again, I'm afraid she'd want that stuff to quick for my tastes.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 10:15:19 AM EDT

Originally Posted By VooDoo3dfx:
Being 21, no.

If in 20 + years... then I'd have no real choice.



Same here.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 10:37:17 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Concrete_Brunette:

Originally Posted By blueheeler66:

Originally Posted By 1MissouriMule:
It depends entirely on the woman and the kids.
If she and her kids are good caring people why not.
If the single woman is more worried about what her friends think....she ain't worth my time!



+1 It depends entirely on the woman and the kids. If she and her kids are good caring people why not. What if the situation was that she was very happily married and unfortunately widowed? You could have a good decent woman that has her head on straight.



Or what about the woman who breaks up with the guy cause he's crazy and/or abusive to her or her child?



Lots of baggage to deal with there. Dating said woman now puts you in the position fo dealing with the crazy/abusive ex. Why borrow trouble? PLenty of other fish in the sea without that sort of baggage.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 10:41:48 AM EDT
If I were single and had the choice as stated, I'd go for the one without kids. If I were single, I wouldn't exclude dating a woman with kids however, unless the kids were by different fathers. People make mistakes, accidents happen, relationships don't work out but to make the same mistake more than once speak of that person having some real issues. That goes for guys and girls. Guys that run around having multiple kids with multiple women are just as bad as women having several kids with several different men.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 10:46:48 AM EDT
Im only 20...sooooo...hmmmm NO!
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 11:33:25 AM EDT
FWIW this is what I'll tell my son. When your young 18-28 my advice is not to get involved with any woman with a child. After 28 DO NOT get involved with a woman who has more than one child, more than one child does not double the problems associated with kids but depending how many she has, say 2 kids, it quadruples the problem. More than one kid its ok to date and get some pie but if she gets serious, and she will , its time to move on. One child is a very manageable situation for a single guy, once it goes beyond one child I say go with the five F's. I married a girl with a child, it was a good situation and it turned into a GREAT situation as life progressed.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 11:49:31 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ARKAN_the_Tiger:

Originally Posted By cluster:
you KNOW she puts out .



More importantly, you know she is good at, cause she got a fuck trophy.



Thank You!!!

My sister in law has FIVE kids to her crackhead partner, they aren't even aware of the kids most days. They are great kids and now the next time I remind her about that fact I can throw that term at her..

Back on topic...
I dated a recently divorced woman with two kids. She couldn't handle the strain of dealing with the Ex-husband/New-boyfriend complications so she became impossible to be around. The kids weren't the problem in this one, it was the baggage from the previous marriage. In the end I wound up feeling sorry for the poor Ex-husband, he had to pay to make her leave..
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 12:56:23 PM EDT
Having a kid don't wreck the pie...so what are you in the relationship for? A cogent answer demands details and each sitiation will be different. If'n I was a 20sumthin with no ties...and this babe was looking for a daddy...then I'd probably run away...(Which I DID!).

On the other hand, if y'all are really well suited to each other and the kids are great and she and they aren't going to be an instant bankruptcy catalyst...AND especially if she is HAWT, can cook, is willing to try lots of creative sex...AND loves guns and pickup trucks??? Then take that woman off the market...NOW!

Link Posted: 2/16/2006 12:59:56 PM EDT
I just don't care for children.

If I want a whiney, crying, drooling bum who leechs off people I look in the mirror!
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 2:02:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/16/2006 2:03:18 PM EDT by TexasEd]
Maybe if a guy's too lazy ??? Just kidding.

It has to do with your stage in life. When I was young...no way.

But now....

What if you don't want to have any more kids? Meeting a female who has kids and doesn't want any more can be a good solution.

What if YOU already have kids? A female who already has kids will go along with the program better than one who doesn't and may or may not want any.

just my $.02
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 2:23:15 PM EDT
All else being equal, most likely I'd choose the one without a kid.


However, it never works out that way, does it?



Like Matthew_Q, I'm creeping up on 30, and many of the women in my age range have kids, or a failed marriage, or both, or whatever. That's the way it is. I guess it all boils down to the individual situation and how the kids and mom behave.


In another 5 or 6 years, if I'm still single I'll probably look at women my age and wonder about them if they don't have kids already. I'll either wonder if they just don't want children or if they're a walking biological clock timebomb.

Solution?

D­ate more 19 year olds. (Yeah right, like that doesn't bring its own set of problems)
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 2:27:59 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ZitiForBreakfast:
I married a woman with two children from a previous marriage. I love those two kids as my own son my wife and I have and they have known me as long as they can remember.

We dated before getting married.

So to answer your question, yes.




Yup.
Just married off the oldest one. She still calls me Dad and has given me a grandchild.
Now I need to marry of my natural kids and it will all be good.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 2:41:46 PM EDT
Hiway to Hell
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 2:43:39 PM EDT
I would not date a woman with some other dudes seeds running around.

Max
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 2:56:31 PM EDT
If I wanted to carry baggage, I'd get a job with TSA.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 3:01:40 PM EDT

Originally Posted By thedoctors308:
If I wanted to carry baggage, I'd get a job with TSA.



PUNNY.
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