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Posted: 2/15/2006 10:41:29 PM EDT
alright, it has been entirely too long since i posted an "i hate people" rant. in fact, every single one is in the archive.

sooooooooooooooooo..................it is high fucking time that we visited the subject again. and this time we're doing it with DRIVERS.

now, i'm not real sure which fucking quickee mart issued most of these asshats their licenses but that's besides the point because they DAMNED sure don't need the fucking things

first off, for those of us that live in the boonies: the monkeyfucking cumgarlger that takes his half of the road out of the middle on a road that isn't as wide as a full highway lane can kiss my fucking ass. i've stopped giving a damn for this particular animal of assholism. my truck is past its prime.................so give it a go, consider it a game of side mirror chicken you worthless sonofabitch

Fuck you TexRdNec

im keeping the above for posteritys sake............

also, 4 way stops. 4 way stops are super ideas.............if at least one of the pussies actually stops. otherwise i still have to go scrape your fucking entrails off the road. heres a hint: don't ASSume that nobody is coming just because your ass followed the rules.............damn sure doesn't mean the other fucker did. granted, i could give two chicken fucks whether or not you have to get scraped off the fucking tarmac with a spatula, but i'd just as soon not be in your wake when you fuck up.

town: when you come to a median, you keep to the same rules that you do on the road. you keep to the RIGHT. i CANNOT fucking stand the stupidassed dipshit cockgobblers that hug the nearest curb. great idea assmonkey.................whereas if you had followed the rules of the road i could see oncoming traffic, but now i have to play Ms. Cleo and psychicly evaluate if theres any fucking cars coming because your stupid ass in your fucking '79 el camino is blocking my damned view of the road because you're now in front of me. good call, die of ghonorreha, polepolisher.

heres another....................put on your fucking makeup BEFORE you decide to pilot your fucking honda accord through traffic. also, read your map, talk on your phone, read the paper/book, eat your lunch, check the map, jack off your boyfriend, whatthefuckever BEFORE you get in your piece of shit.

and you know what? i'm not much of a blinker user.....................IF nobody needs to know what the fuck i'm doing. BUT, if somebody is behind me and needs to know what i'll be doing i'll damn sure signal it. but let's all raise our glass to the sorry no good pillowbiting piece of shit that puts their blinker on in the dead center MIDDLE of their fucking turn. quite helpul, thanks so much, bitch. it really enthuses me when somebody takes the time out of their busy schedule to signal their intentions as they're actually turning and i'm wearing down valuable brake pad mass trying not to run my 7000lbs truck up their ass.


highway:

let's start with the most basic of road rules, entering the fucking road. the on-ramp used to be called the acceleration lane. this was for a fucking purpose. if they had intended you to enter the highway at 13mph they'd have put in a two way stop. that road runs paralell to the highway for a reason. you're supposed to TRY and get your fucing yugo up to speed by the time that particular lane ends. so in conclusion, if you can't get your oil burning, smoke billowing pile of shit the fuck out of my way, so help me God i will run your sorry ass the fuck over.

another one of my favorites...............keep your sorry worthless piece of shit monkeyfucking sorry polepolishing cockholstering ass the FUCK out of the left lane unless you are passing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you aren't doing anybody any favors by having your slow ass over there impeding traffic. if you have dillusions that you're over there saving the world then you're fucked in the head. what you ARE doing over there is pissing off the people that want the hell around you. now, it is irrelevant if they're just in a hurry or actually need to be somewhere. move the fuck OVER. TWICE i have had to pass cars in the turning lane because i was trying to get to the emergency room. didn't want to, but damned if i didn't have some worthless sorry no good asslicker that would not get the fuck out of my way.

oh, hell with it, theres TONS more but i'm tired of typing so add your own...........
Link Posted: 2/15/2006 10:46:25 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/15/2006 10:52:01 PM EDT
The yield sign.......................... go if you can, stop if you must. And just so you know, start analyzing the intersection BEFORE you are at it.

DO NOT pull up to the sign, stop then look.

Look well before you get to the sign, so that you can decide if you can go or must stop far enough away from the intersection so you can do what you have to SMOOTHLY.
Link Posted: 2/15/2006 11:00:38 PM EDT
One of my faves: The fakey lane change.

Car “a” needs to exit. Unfortunately he failed to exercise the foresight necessary to be in the correct lane for the exit.

The only solution is the “fake lane change.” Whereby the driver of car a turns on his blinker and acts like your car is actually invisible. Starting a lane change in the hopes that you will stomp on the brakes and take one up the ass for the team.

The next shitstick that does this crap to me is going to get a motor assist right into the nearest concrete abutment.
Link Posted: 2/15/2006 11:21:32 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Sub-MOA:
One of my faves: The fakey lane change.

Car “a” needs to exit. Unfortunately he failed to exercise the foresight necessary to be in the correct lane for the exit.

The only solution is the “fake lane change.” Whereby the driver of car a turns on his blinker and acts like your car is actually invisible. Starting a lane change in the hopes that you will stomp on the brakes and take one up the ass for the team.

The next shitstick that does this crap to me is going to get a motor assist right into the nearest concrete abutment.



Not as bad as the dopes that have to change lanes for no apparent reason, other than to get in front of you.

Before the first one of you primitive screw-heads................ say the left lane is for passing........ I'm primarily talking about on multi-lane city streets.

Only thing worse is the "emergency" lane change, for no reason.

You are in the right hand lane on a multi-lane divided highway. Someone from the middle lane veers, or swerves, to get into fron of you. You figure they are close to missing the exit that is coming up RIGHT NOW, so you give them the benefit of the doubt............... Then they don't take the exit, but take the next one that is .75 miles or more down the road.

Or the dopes that pass, then pull in front of you, and slow so they can take an exit................ Meanwhile there is no one behind you for 43 miles.

If you "need" to pull into the same lane I'm driving in, you need to be going at least as fast as me......and STAY that way.
Link Posted: 2/15/2006 11:34:42 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/15/2006 11:49:54 PM EDT
Brilliant TexRdnec!

My favorite:


the on-ramp used to be called the acceleration lane. this was for a fucking purpose. if they had intended you to enter the highway at 13mph they'd have put in a two way stop. that road runs paralell to the highway for a reason. you're supposed to TRY and get your fucing yugo up to speed by the time that particular lane ends. so in conclusion, if you can't get your oil burning, smoke billowing pile of shit the fuck out of my way, so help me God i will run your sorry ass the fuck over.



Preach it!
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 12:41:39 AM EDT
...been waiting for the resurgence!


Thank the Lord for "copy & paste".
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 1:34:48 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:33:40 AM EDT
8 replies? i must be losing my touch!!!!
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:35:26 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:43:55 AM EDT
One of my coworkers (who I ride with on a regular basis) thinks it is funny to stay in the left lane until the exit he wants is beside the vehicle. He will then crank the wheel over and almost take the damn thing sideways getting off the highway. I gave him the benefit of the doubt the first time. The second time I said something (his reply was it is fun ). Third time and any time there after I jsut reach over and slap him on the back of the head. He is sllllooooowwwwwwllllyyyy learning the error of his ways.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:54:52 AM EDT
Tex, I think you've got it covered. What else to say?
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:57:35 AM EDT
Dodge Pickup truck drivers with Hemi engines think they are driving F1 race cars.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 7:59:59 AM EDT
Right turn on red is not optional.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:08:01 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/16/2006 8:08:37 AM EDT by The_Gooch]
People who cant make a turn at anything other than idle speed.

Going out for a drive ranks right up there with going to a mall or Wal Mart/big box store for making you wish harm upon others.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:12:19 AM EDT
man, tex, stay outta northern virginia! you'll be on a rooftop with a high powered rifle in no time at all!

plus, you can't buy decent meat here...
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:12:21 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/16/2006 8:12:36 AM EDT by PunisherDude06]
AMEN to every single one of your points!!!



Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:19:56 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/16/2006 8:20:57 AM EDT by Belfry_Express]
little old ladies who cant drive, are too fucking short to see over the steering wheel of their caddie land yacht and have to drive by sound. These people take both lanes of a 2 lane road to drive with this stupid fucking technique. They drift to the left till they hear/feel their tires hitting the reflectors for the double yellow, then they slooooooly drift back over to the right till they hit the fart strips then start drifting over to the left. hey old bitty! get off the road or I'll break your fucking hip!!

ETA Post 3k w00t
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:21:30 AM EDT
People pulling into the right hand lane at a stop light so I cannot turn right on red. Just stay in the left lane!!! I even look behind me if I am in the right lane to make sure no one behind me is turning right.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:43:12 AM EDT
You forgot the worst. People in truck that have NO FUCKING BUSINESS BEING IN A TRUCK. Now I'm not talking of some stupid hippie crap like saving oil and rainforests and crap. No, I'm talking about the idiot sorority girls who drive their goddamned Ford Excursions like its a FUCKING MIATA. You know the type, daddy's money purchased a $50K behemoth, complete with tinted windows. Bubbles then proceeds to drive it just like the Miata she drove in highschool, meaning that she will be flapping her jaw about what so and so said to so and so and oh my God their's a car in front of me, so she'll slam on her brakes to avoid hitting you at the last second, or not. Bad enough in the Miata, but downright fucking scary when she pulls that shit in a truck. Oh, Bubbles also likes to stick her nose into the intersection at any turn, especially if she is in the left-turn lane, meaning that any normal sized cars in the right turn lane can't see oncoming traffic, and have to wait for the dumb bitch to get off her cellphone, finish her makeup, and actually make the left turn.

And don't even get me started on when Bubbles tries to park, or should I say beach, the whale that she's driving. In my parking garage at the office (downtown Dallas, about 12 levels) there is not ONE single SUV bigger than a Ford Explorer that doesn't have its rear bumper smashed in some form or another, NOT ONE. And God forbid she get off her cellphone and leave a note when she backs into you. After all, she figures that daddy will just buy you a new truck as well.

Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:50:02 AM EDT
tag

Oh, and PLEASE learn to use the farging cruise control. Nothing pisses me off more than some shithead flying up on my ass when I'm passing a line of semi's, only to slow down when I get a chance to get back over. Then the asshole flies up on my ass again when I get over to pass a car. Mind you, I've had my cruise control set for the last 28 years.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 8:51:55 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/16/2006 8:52:58 AM EDT by Tannim]

Originally Posted By Phil_A_Steen:
Right turn on red is not optional.



While those who don't do it are annoying, it is techinically optional. They are within the rules of the road not to make it if they don't feel safe.

The last time I couldn't make a right at a red ( I couldn't see over the truck next to me) the asshole behind me got out of his truck and reached into my car to teach me "right turn is not optional" with his fist.

He learned .40 cal says DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME.

The police arrested him for his actions.

Link Posted: 2/16/2006 9:09:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Tannim:

Originally Posted By Phil_A_Steen:
Right turn on red is not optional.



While those who don't do it are annoying, it is techinically optional. They are within the rules of the road not to make it if they don't feel safe.

The last time I couldn't make a right at a red ( I couldn't see over the truck next to me) the asshole behind me got out of his truck and reached into my car to teach me "right turn is not optional" with his fist.

He learned .40 cal says DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME.

The police arrested him for his actions.





The situation I'm talking about is when there's absolutely no cross traffic and the dude ahead of you sits there doing nothing.
Link Posted: 2/16/2006 9:10:28 AM EDT

Originally Posted By OLY-M4gery:
The yield sign.......................... go if you can, stop if you must. And just so you know, start analyzing the intersection BEFORE you are at it.

DO NOT pull up to the sign, stop then look.

Look well before you get to the sign, so that you can decide if you can go or must stop far enough away from the intersection so you can do what you have to SMOOTHLY.



The Yield Sign Secret - If you're going fast enough, you don't have to yield.
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 2:35:37 PM EDT
Gee, this seems familiar...
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 2:49:14 PM EDT
Tagged, I might not be able to finish this one at work
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 3:00:31 PM EDT
TexRdnec------
I think we are related

Nice PB too , not as nice as my StarCruiser

YEILD is YEILD fucking reguardless, ask any of the 12 or so assholes that have gone into the wall , ditch, or barrels
My motto "You can hit the gas, brake or ditch, I dont give a shit, I aint moving"!!!!

Stay the fuck out of the middle lane if ya aint passing! Ya fucking pussy, if ya scared stay on the couch and eat twinkies, fucker!

Turn signals are NOT optional equipment!!

STOP FUCKING TAILGATING ME fucktard! I am already running 5-15 OVER the goddammned speed limit, if yer in that much of a hurry you SHOULDA LEFT YESTERDAY!!

One more thing:
HEADLINE, car plays chicken with Big Rig, who's going to the 4 wheel funeral?
BTW my Rig will/has/ will again do well of triple digits. Dont second guess me on that either
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 3:11:48 PM EDT
Several years ago I caught myself scream “Don’t you know how to fucking drive!!!” at some idiot who had something stupid on the road… Then it hit me, he really didn’t know how to drive. There aren’t many people who ever take a real class on how to properly drive a vehicle. Oh sure, most of use get the mandatory drivers ed course when we’re 15. But that course is designed to keep completely inexperienced teenagers alive long enough to graduate.

I didn’t know how to drive until I went to truck driving school. I remember doing all kinds of stupid things on the road because I just didn’t know any better. I quit truck driving after three (accident free) miles, but those three years gave me valuable instruction on how to fucking drive.

Since so many people don’t really know how to drive I’m going to have to get around to writing a book called “How to Fucking Drive.” That way when someone does something stupid I can just give them a copy of the book.

TexRdnec, you could co-author that book since we apparently have the same opinions.

Get off the damned cellphone, pay attention to the road, get up to speed quickly, don’t block traffic. Go around if you can’t make your exit, don’t block a lane by stopping.

Speed limits are set by determining at what speed a normal driver who’s paying attention and not on drunk or on drugs can safely drive. But then some people aren’t paying attention and some people smoke dope… So they knock 10mph off the speed limit for that. Then, since everyone drives about 10mph over the speed limit anyway they knock another 10mph off.

That means most speed limits (Not residential speed limits) are set about 20mph below what is really safe. Doing this has two benefits for the government. First, politicians always want more money (cocaine and quality hookers are expensive) so they like to turn the police into tax collectors. Since virtually everyone not asleep at the wheel will be going faster than the speed limit, the police can basically just pull anyone over and tax them. And that’s all a speeding ticket is folks (unless it’s over 20mph.) it just means you’ve been selected to help pay for the Mayors bad habits for the day, nothing more.

The second benefit is that low speed limits make it easy to spot the real criminals. Only people with warrants out, a carload of drugs, a kidnapped child, or who are shitfaced drunk, will ever drive the speed limit. Well, except for Alzheimer’s patients who escaped from the nursing home, but they need to be stopped too.

For all the law enforcement people out there… This is a great way to catch the real criminals. If you see someone doing one mph under the speed limit then pull them over and give them a thorough searching. If there’s nothing in their car then put on the rubber glove and go in deep, I promise you will find something. Oh, and tell them Thuban sent you.
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 3:24:27 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 3:30:08 PM EDT

Originally Posted By -brass-:

Originally Posted By TexRdnec:
another one of my favorites...............keep your sorry worthless piece of shit monkeyfucking sorry polepolishing cockholstering ass the FUCK out of the left lane unless you are passing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





I hate that! It is usually the worthless truck drivers hanging out passing at a relative velocity of 0.02mph!

Damn truck drivers!

+1
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 3:39:42 PM EDT
hilarious.
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 3:50:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By jpman7:

Originally Posted By -brass-:

Originally Posted By TexRdnec:
another one of my favorites...............keep your sorry worthless piece of shit monkeyfucking sorry polepolishing cockholstering ass the FUCK out of the left lane unless you are passing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





I hate that! It is usually the worthless truck drivers hanging out passing at a relative velocity of 0.02mph!

Damn truck drivers!

+1



Worthless truck drivers huh?
I wasn't going to post on this,............................. BUT NOW!!!

Name ONE thinig that does not get to your house by way of truck and I will take you out to lunch!
Now that said we are NOT worthless, we are the strongest link in our economy.
You should let us bone yer girlies , for bringing you TP and Midol.
Ammo and weapons. We move the Boys and their toys before deployment.
Bring their goodies back to post when they return.
We bring you food, Do you think there is a Stockyard behind Wal-mart??
We bring you lumber for your homes, do you think the trees fall and land in the form of a ranch house?
We bring you Clothes, do you think the plants and chenmicals just mix from rain and dirt and a pair of jeans is sprouted??

DONT YOU EVER CALL US WORTHLESS!!

You can say:

Some of you stupid ass hick motherfucker, fatass two tooth, aint taken a bath in month, crackwhore bangin' (1 minute man, mind you), lazy bastards, cant drive worth a fuck!!

Now that you can say

that is all
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 5:51:46 PM EDT
My most hated are:

1. People who can't signal/change lanes without causing near a car crash.

2. Assholes that tailgate you by like 6" when there are 5 cars ahead of you all tailgating som old granny 6 cars up. GUESS WHAT DUMBASS IT IS NOT GOING TO GO FASTER IF YOU ARE ON MY ASS!

3. And by far my most hated is people who do not understand the passing lane vs the turning lane. I mean it has to be the simplest concept in the world but I'll telll ya what NO ONE in Pennsylvania understands that the slow cars go on the right lane. I've given up with these people and now they get flashed and honked and if they don't move they get passed on the right lane. They can go fuck themselves.
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 5:54:10 PM EDT
Btw I have full respect for truck drivers because A: it takes tons of skill, B: insane long hours, C: boring, D: have to deal with fast little cars zooming all around you.

But what I HATE about truck drivers are truck drivers that have no common courtesy. You know, the ones that pull out in front of you as you're going 80, and he's going 65 so he can pass ONE CAR and then goes back to the other lane.
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