My most embarrassing moment... enjoy my misery. - Page 2

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - My most embarrassing moment... enjoy my misery. (Page 2 of 2)

Posted: 2/13/2006 6:56:52 PM EDT

[#1]

Quoted:

Thats how I came to learn that lttle Udog was allergic to Flouride

Are you serious? If so, that is some fucking funny stuff!

Posted: 2/13/2006 7:04:45 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
www.fieroloki.com/bonk.gif

HA HA HA!! ROTFLMAO!!

Posted: 2/13/2006 7:16:47 PM EDT

[#3]

You did it in the parking lot before going home .....didn't you

Having rusty pipes suck doesn't it.

Underdog.....great story.

I was laughing my ass off picturing Ben Stiller playing your part in the "movie" and sitting in the exam room saying that dialouge to doctor Eugene Levy and Nurse Molly Shannon......

That is classic. You need to send that story to the Farrelly brothers, they can use it in their next movie.

Lets see.....your new screen name: The Vermillion Stallion?

Posted: 2/13/2006 7:20:14 PM EDT

[#4]

Underdog,

I'm glad I'm still young enough to have bladder control, cause in about 30 years that story would have made me piss myself.

Posted: 2/13/2006 7:22:53 PM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:

To make a long story short, the day before I had picked up my GF from the dentist and she was happy to see me., very happy and, how should I put it,, "Greatful"

Thats how I came to learn that lttle Udog was allergic to Flouride

oh damn...!

Posted: 2/13/2006 7:24:09 PM EDT

[#6]

Allergic to fluoride....(note the correct spelling, you apes!)...now that's something really new.

Selective fluoride treatments could probably land you a decent gig in the porno industry.

CJ

Posted: 2/13/2006 7:47:12 PM EDT

[#7]

FUNNY!!!

The cat pic was priceless. I always knew there was a reason I hated cats!!

GR

Posted: 2/13/2006 7:58:46 PM EDT

[#8]

Posted: 2/13/2006 8:10:20 PM EDT

[#9]

i had one of my testes swell up about the size of an orange..
24 hours of being kicked in the balls..
turned out to be an infection"epydidimitis"not sure i spelled that right..
i wouldnt wish that on anyone..

Posted: 2/13/2006 8:23:14 PM EDT

[#10]

This place is a freakin train wreck.

I laughed so hard reading that I woke up my dog AND gave myself a belly ache.

Posted: 2/13/2006 8:29:01 PM EDT

[#11]

Hell, just read this: www.darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid1998-10.html

This guy wins, hands down.

Woody

Posted: 2/13/2006 8:29:21 PM EDT

[#12]

Oh this is one of the funniest threads ever... Reminds me of a little diddy...

guy walks into the doctors office and tells the doc "Doc, I seem to have a problem with my penis... it is bright orange" Doctor is curious and asks the man to drop his pants for a look. To the Doctor's astonishment... sure enough,,, the man has a flourescent orange penis!!

The doctor starts his questions by saying..

"Do you live near a nuclear power plant?" Patient says "nope"

"Do you use your microwave alot?" Patient says "nope"

"Do you work near a nuclear power plant?" Patient says "nope"

"Do you WORK IN a nuclear power plant?" Patient says "nope... to be honest doc, I dont work at all. All I do is stay home, watch pornos and eat cheetos all day"

Posted: 2/13/2006 8:56:27 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
Hell, just read this: www.darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid1998-10.html

This guy wins, hands down.

Woody

holy fukin shit

Posted: 2/13/2006 9:06:58 PM EDT

[#14]

I was beginning to catch on. “So how do I cure this little problem?”
He stuttered a bit... “One just needs to, uhh... release.”
I excited blurted out, “You mean I just have to spank it??”
“Yes... err, uhh... release.”
“Hell, I can do that!”

OH MAN THAT"S TOO FUNNY..............

Posted: 2/13/2006 9:09:02 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Quoted:
It's freaking hilarious. Thanks for posting it.

WTF?

I thought I was the only one who noticed that....

I reiterate: WTF???

Posted: 2/13/2006 10:05:03 PM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
It's freaking hilarious. Thanks for posting it.

WTF?

I thought I was the only one who noticed that....

I reiterate: WTF???

WTF as in the story wasn't funny or WTF is it with the

?

I was wondering about the

thing... I have no comment as to whether the story was funny... personally it is rather traumatic.

- BG

Posted: 2/13/2006 10:18:26 PM EDT

[#17]

Both stories were hilarious but underdogs was better!

Posted: 2/13/2006 10:18:36 PM EDT

[#18]

= Heil Hitler, a sarcastic jab at the previous poster's lack of humor

Posted: 2/13/2006 10:20:57 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
I want my 3 minutes back. The story needs a disgusting ending.

+1

Posted: 2/13/2006 10:27:15 PM EDT

[#20]

My buddy has prostate problems that were so acute, his doctor told him to take matters into his own hands. He was joking about it with some of his co-workers and one of them had the same problem. His REAL problem was getting his wife to believe him. She was so upset at catching him, he actually had his doctor write her a note explaining it. At least he didn't have to go once a week to get his prostate massaged by his doctor like my brother...

Posted: 2/13/2006 10:31:02 PM EDT

[#21]

Those squib loads will plug up the barrel every time!!!

Posted: 2/13/2006 10:40:21 PM EDT

[#22]

HAHA!

I've had that pain too. But even then I spank it like 3 times a day, even if I do get laid. But the most common pain in my balls is when I sit on one by accident. OUCH!!!

Posted: 2/13/2006 10:50:43 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
I may have an equally stupid story...

First time I got blue balls and didn't have a clue what was wrong...

I put BEN GAY on 'em.

My boys have never burned so bad in their life, as I quickly sat in the tub at 1am just rubbing the bengay off trying to ease the torture I had smote upon them.

From then on, I knew why the Bible says it's OK to masturbate for health reasons.

LET IT BE KNOWN! DO NOT PUT BENGAY ANYWHERE NEAR THAT AREA!

I pulled a muscle in my groin climbing a fence, and I put some bengay on it. I didn't think anything of it, but as soon as I started to sweat I soon had a TERRIBLE burning sensation. I frantically tried to wipe it off, but it just made it worse. Suffice to say, it eventually found it's way in the hole, which was an entirely new dimension of pain that I can not discuss..

Posted: 2/13/2006 11:01:09 PM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:
Sorry , but I'm calling

Because there isn't a teenage male alive that doesn't
wax the wand at least twice a day , and it isn't something
that anyone needs to teach you

I know the last thing I think about when there's pain in manland is flogging the bishop.

Posted: 2/14/2006 10:49:53 AM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Sorry , but I'm calling

Because there isn't a teenage male alive that doesn't
wax the wand at least twice a day , and it isn't something
that anyone needs to teach you

I know the last thing I think about when there's pain in manland is flogging the bishop.

Bingo! That's like picking at a scab... always sounds like a good idea until pain gets in the way.

- BG

Posted: 2/14/2006 10:59:21 AM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
I will, however, forever live with the burning memories of what it feels like to look death in the eye and come to learn that I just need to play with myself.

- BG

I believe this quote sums up this thread best.

Posted: 2/14/2006 12:19:57 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
LET IT BE KNOWN! DO NOT PUT BENGAY ANYWHERE NEAR THAT AREA!

I pulled a muscle in my groin climbing a fence, and I put some bengay on it. I didn't think anything of it, but as soon as I started to sweat I soon had a TERRIBLE burning sensation. I frantically tried to wipe it off, but it just made it worse. Suffice to say, it eventually found it's way in the hole, which was an entirely new dimension of pain that I can not discuss..

You know, that reminds me of a time when my ex-gf had some sort of menthol soap in the shower. Not for sensitive skin, like your ball sack. The problem was, it took about 5 minutes for the menthol to do its thing, so by the time I realized it was far too late.

Posted: 2/14/2006 3:18:08 PM EDT

[#28]

Ever had your dick used as a point of entrance for a medical procedure?

I have. More than once, unfortunately.

Installation of stents (tubes placed in the kidneys, going down into the bladder) is done through the
urethra. It's usually done under general anaesthesia. The aftermath is grounds for a healthy dose
of oxycodone.

The stents can be removed in the doctor's office using a numbing gel that's squeezed into the urethra
via a syringe with no needle, followed by the introduction of the tool that is used to first visually locate
and then remove the stent.

The numbing gel is only MODERATELY effective. There's plenty of sensation left!

I think I left claw marks in the top of the stainless steel exam table.

Pissing blood is not a lot of fun, either. But it can be used as an amusement by leaving the
urinal unflushed in a busy public restroom. It will ALWAYS freak out somebody before long.

Kidney stones...avoid them. Or someone will be doing things to your penis that you don't want done.

CJ

Posted: 2/14/2006 3:23:48 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
Ever had your dick used as a point of entrance for a medical procedure?

I have. More than once, unfortunately.

Installation of stents (tubes placed in the kidneys, going down into the bladder) is done through the
urethra. It's usually done under general anaesthesia. The aftermath is grounds for a healthy dose
of oxycodone.

The stents can be removed in the doctor's office using a numbing gel that's squeezed into the urethra
via a syringe with no needle, followed by the introduction of the tool that is used to first visually locate
and then remove the stent.

The numbing gel is only MODERATELY effective. There's plenty of sensation left!

I think I left claw marks in the top of the stainless steel exam table.

Pissing blood is not a lot of fun, either. But it can be used as an amusement by leaving the
urinal unflushed in a busy public restroom. It will ALWAYS freak out somebody before long.

Kidney stones...avoid them. Or someone will be doing things to your penis that you don't want done.

CJ

+ a million

Posted: 2/16/2006 1:34:02 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I may have an equally stupid story...

First time I got blue balls and didn't have a clue what was wrong...

I put BEN GAY on 'em.

My boys have never burned so bad in their life, as I quickly sat in the tub at 1am just rubbing the bengay off trying to ease the torture I had smote upon them.

From then on, I knew why the Bible says it's OK to masturbate for health reasons.

LET IT BE KNOWN! DO NOT PUT BENGAY ANYWHERE NEAR THAT AREA!

I pulled a muscle in my groin climbing a fence, and I put some bengay on it. I didn't think anything of it, but as soon as I started to sweat I soon had a TERRIBLE burning sensation. I frantically tried to wipe it off, but it just made it worse. Suffice to say, it eventually found it's way in the hole, which was an entirely new dimension of pain that I can not discuss..

A lady friend had a bad experience with this once... I'll just say: never, never under any circumstances buy the flip-top bengay and leave it next to your flip-top KY. And should you decide to do it anyway - turn on the lights when you grab the KY and put it all over your who-who-dilly or cha-cha. It may not be the KY your grabbed... I'll leave it at that.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - My most embarrassing moment... enjoy my misery. (Page 2 of 2)

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