...A few facts about Burt Reynolds.
-In the Torah, 'Adam' is just a misspelling of 'Burt.'
-Burt Reynolds Day stems from the first known religion, Burtism.
-Like Samson, Burt Reynolds derives his power from his mustache. However, if his mustache is removed, he doesn't lose his powers, because Burt Reynolds' mustache is more of a state of mind.
-Burt Reynolds once went up against Chuck Norris, Mr. T, Vin Diesel, Bruce Willis, and a Corvette Z06 in a cage match. It was July 16, 1945, near Alamogordo, NM.
-Burt Reynolds' mustache hairs are known to cure cancer; however, no other humans can handle the power of his mustache without dying, so he thoughtfully has not allowed trials by the FDA.
-Every year, Burt Reynolds takes a child with leukemia along with him to shoot a gay hillbilly through with an arrow. It doesn't cure the child, but it sure makes the kid feel better.
-Burt Reynolds has won every presidential election since 1788. However, he always decides to concede the election to the second-place candidate, because he already has enough influence.
everybody is just trying too hard...
Steve McQueen could kick Burt's ass!
(yes... I know Steve McQueen is dead)