Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Site Notices
Posted: 2/12/2006 3:56:06 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/12/2006 4:34:57 PM EDT by Doucheatron3000]
So it snowed here for the first time in a while. The university of MD got a good 6 inches of snow
last night, and so today I went up to campus to play in the snow with some friends of mine before it
all melted. I brought along three shovels from my house to help make a snow fort (I didn't really
care, and it seemed better than making a snowman.)

Out in the courtyard of my friend's dorm building (where we're planning on making our fort, igloo
really), we find a girl and a guy putting the finishing touches on what looks to be a Very Special
Snowman, and discussing what to name it. My two friends and I busy ourselves with piling up
snow, when the girl from the snowman comes up to me:

Her: "Can you not harm my snowman?"
Me: "Uh...sure"
Her: "...His name is Steve"
Me: "I don't care"
Her: "Oh..." and goes inside.

Now, I wouldn't have thought of damaging her snowman before she said anything. In fact, I still
wouldn't do it. However, as I help my two friends pile up snow, I come up with the idea that we
need to build a snowman behind hers, a big menacing snowman with a length of pipe or something.
Just the ieda that she thought I needed to know the name of her snowman made me want to mess
with it. I convince one of my friends to break off and help me with my project...and as we're starting
the snowpile behind the original snowman, she suggests that we make a snow penis going from our
snowman into the other girl's snowman, raping it. I of course find this to be an excellent idea.

Here's 'Steve', just before he's given a harsh lesson on the cruelties of life by 'Billy Ray' (My
friend thought it needed a mullet, but that turned out to be too tough, so we just called it Billy Ray
instead)


A good picture of Steve...how happy he looks. Poor little guy.


And a shot of 'Billy Ray's face...note the death grimace and angry eyebrows.


As we were building this construction, my friend asked me "What if she can see us from her
apartment, and is crying about it right now?" "I hope she is, she needs to see this...it's not like
we're doing anything to her snowman or anything. Destroying something someone else made it
tactless and pointless...we're doing something that causes no damage but is probably much, much
worse."

Well, as soon as we start putting the finishing touches on our bit of jackassery, out comes this girl
with her guy in tow.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! ESPECIALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY WINDOW WHERE I
CAN SEE EVERYTHING?!"

After a solid 25 seconds of laughing, I tell her that we caused no harm to her snowman. I also tell
her that that's why it's funny.

"SNOWMEN ARE SUPPOSED TO BE KIND AND GENTLE CREATURES! THE DON'T GO
AROUND RAPING EACH OTHER IN THE ANUS!"

More laughter from my friend and I, and then:

"WHAT WAS THE POINT?!"

"Hear us laughing? It's fuckin' hilarious, THAT's the point!"

She whips out a leatherman, unfolds the fish scaler, and makes a move to emascualte our snow
rapist. I point out once again that we caused no harm to her snowman, and I would appreciate it if
she would at least wait until I could get a picture. She sorms off, leaving us with:

"YOU GUYS ARE OBNOXIOUS JERKS!"

"Yes we are!" I call out after her. "You oughta give it a try sometime!"

I feel a bit bad, but oh my, was it completely worth it.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 3:57:17 PM EDT
I hate scrolling to read the text.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 4:00:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Doucheatron3000:
So it snowed here for the first time in a while. The university of MD got a good 6 inches of snow last night, and so today I went up to campus to play in the snow with some friends of mine before it all melted. I brought along three shovels from my house to help make a snow fort (I didn't really care, and it seemed better than making a snowman.)

Out in the courtyard of my friend's dorm building (where we're planning on making our fort, igloo really), we find a girl and a guy putting the finishing touches on what looks to be a Very Special Snowman, and discussing what to name it. My two friends and I busy ourselves with piling up snow, when the girl from the snowman comes up to me:

Her: "Can you not harm my snowman?"
Me: "Uh...sure"
Her: "...His name is Steve"
Me: "I don't care"
Her: "Oh..." and goes inside.

Now, I wouldn't have thought of damaging her snowman before she said anything. In fact, I still wouldn't do it. However, as I help my two friends pile up snow, I come up with the idea that we need to build a snowman behind hers, a big menacing snowman with a length of pipe or something. I convince one of my friends to break off and help me with my project...and as we're stating the snowpile behind the original snowman, she suggests that we make a snow penis going from our snowman into the other girl's snowman, raping it. I of course find this to be an excellent idea.

Here's 'Steve', just before he's given a harsh lesson on the cruelties of life by 'Billy Ray' (My friend thought it needed a mullet, but that turned out to be too tough, so we just called it Billy Ray instead)
i1.tinypic.com/nodid2.jpg

A good picture of Steve...how happy he looks. Poor little guy.
i1.tinypic.com/nodmk3.jpg' target='_new'>i1.tinypic.com/nodjrs.jpg[/IMG

And a shot of 'Billy Ray's face...note the death grimace and angry eyebrows.
i1.tinypic.com/nodmk3.jpg


As we were building this construction, my friend asked me "What if she can see us from her apartment, and is crying about it right now?" "I hope she is, she needs to see this...it's not like we're doing anything to her snowman or anything. Destroying something someone else made it tactless and pointless...we're doing something that causes no damage but is probably much, much worse."

Well, as soon as we start putting the finishing touches on our bit of jackassery, out comes this girl with her guy in tow.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! ESPECIALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY WINDOW WHERE I CAN SEE EVERYTHING?!"

After a solid 25 seconds of laughing, I tell her that we caused no harm to her snowman. I also tell her that that's why it's funny.

"SNOWMEN ARE SUPPOSED TO BE KIND AND GENTLE CREATURES! THE DON'T GO AROUND RAPING EACH OTHER IN THE ANUS!"

More laughter from my friend and I, and then:

"WHAT WAS THE POINT?!"

"Hear us laughing? It's fuckin' hilarious, THAT's the point!"

She whips out a leatherman, unfolds the fish scaler, and makes a move to emascualte our snow rapist. I point out once again that we caused no harm to her snowman, and I would appreciate it if she would at least wait until I could get a picture. She sorms off, leaving us with:

"YOU GUYS ARE OBNOXIOUS JERKS!"

"Yes we are!" I call out after her. "You oughta give it a try sometime!"

I feel a bit bad, but oh my, was it completely worth it.



5 min and no lock yet?
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 4:01:23 PM EDT
You suck at building snowmen.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 4:02:18 PM EDT


"SNOWMEN ARE SUPPOSED TO BE KIND AND GENTLE CREATURES! THE DON'T GO AROUND RAPING EACH OTHER IN THE ANUS!"




lol
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 4:03:15 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 101_proof:
You suck at building snowmen.



looks like they have dresses on...
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 4:03:32 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/12/2006 4:04:57 PM EDT by southeast_scrounger]
She used scrip bottles for ears? Must be out of Prozac.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 4:04:56 PM EDT
i think a lot of her actions would be explained if you could find out what pills came in those containers she used for ears...
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 4:05:42 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/12/2006 4:15:09 PM EDT by Doucheatron3000]

Originally Posted By mjrowley:

5 min and no lock yet?



Is this lockable? If so I'll take out the offending material. Actually, it seems as thought the Death Grimace of Billy Ray was removed? Or did I just accidently take it out? It was my favorite of the three pics,
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 4:08:02 PM EDT
LOL!
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 4:08:39 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Barrelburner:
I hate scrolling to read the text.



cry me a river, or go get a real monitor.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 4:08:59 PM EDT
Doesn’t look like Steve is particularly concerned, dude looks high as a kite.

Enjoyable story over all, I give you a b+.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 4:21:41 PM EDT
Hey thanx man . I been looking for something new.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 4:36:05 PM EDT
K fun.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 4:40:04 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Doucheatron3000:

Originally Posted By mjrowley:

5 min and no lock yet?



Is this lockable? If so I'll take out the offending material. Actually, it seems as thought the Death Grimace of Billy Ray was removed? Or did I just accidently take it out? It was my favorite of the three pics,



its not "Billy Rays" face that will get this locked....
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 5:25:11 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 101_proof:
You suck at building snowmen.



+1. But the crudity of the snowman he built adds to the juvenile humor. I like it.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 5:35:20 PM EDT
Billy Ray got a big booost of confidence..lol
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 5:41:31 PM EDT
After shoveling the drive and sidewalk I started on a fort for my son. I was packing snow in the recycle containers and making some big blocks and stacking them. Pretty exhausting after a while... I diidn't get nearly as big as I wanted to but it was fun.

My son could have cared less. He was more interested in plopping down in the snow and eating it.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 5:48:45 PM EDT
A little funny, but it would have been more funny if your fun hadn't involved ruining someone elses day.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 5:50:49 PM EDT

Originally Posted By aaronstaple:
A little funny, but it would have been more funny if your fun hadn't involved ruining someone elses day.



People are too uptight now a days, gotta learn to laugh.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 5:54:13 PM EDT

Originally Posted By aaronstaple:
A little funny, but it would have been more funny if your fun hadn't involved ruining someone elses day.



LOL!!!

Link Posted: 2/12/2006 5:55:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ALLANJ:
Billy Ray got a big booost of confidence..lol



LOL!!!
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 6:44:19 PM EDT

Originally Posted By aaronstaple:
A little funny, but it would have been more funny if your fun hadn't involved ruining someone elses day.



If that ruined her day, then she needs to learn about the world pronto. Basically, everyone who was involved in or saw the artwork was amused (except for the maintainance guy who kicked 'Billy Ray' in the junk, leaving him an angry snowman who is simply trying to give the other one a big hug). Even the guy she was with was rather less than pissed at us. This girl just went absolutely nutso for very little reason (granted, that's what made it great, but still). Her snowman was untouched...I even put an arm back on when some errant snowball took it out.
Top Top