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Posted: 2/8/2006 12:46:48 PM EDT
I'm sitting outside watching the kids ride bikes, enjoying the balmy 47 degree February air. Sam the Dog is rolling around in the dried out dormant Bermuda grass like he was born to do it. I notice another unfamiliar dog roam into the cul-de-sac. I call Sam over quickly and like the good boy he is, he jumps up and hustles over, eager to please his alpha male master. I take him by the collar just in case nature trumps domestication and he decides it's more important to sniff some strange ass than to stay in my good grace.

Then it hits me.

Stench. Stench of death. Sticky, putrid, clumps of rotten decaying rodent flesh on my hands and all in his finely groomed, hungarian hunting dog coat.

That little bastard mutt was rolling all over the not-so-fresh carcass of an apparent former squirrel. I drag him out back and put him in the fenced backyard. I've washed my hands with Gojo, Dial antibacterial, and Dove....still smell of death.

Question:

Bath the dog or Shoot the dog and bury the squirrel with him since he seems to love it soooo much?

roy d....poll forthcoming
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:48:06 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/8/2006 12:48:30 PM EDT by California_Kid]
The REAL question should be:

What round should RoyDamnMercer use to shoot his dog?



(BTW I answered "Bath")
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:48:59 PM EDT
BOOM!
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:49:50 PM EDT
Shoot him with the spray hose. That's gotta be at least .50 caliber.

BTW, You are not a cop, are you?
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:50:04 PM EDT
At least it is just a dead animal.... my dogs have rolled in some stuff that is A LOT worse.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:50:04 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/8/2006 12:50:28 PM EDT by ironoxbows]
..
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:50:18 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
BOOM!



X2
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:51:43 PM EDT
Depends....
If your a cop definately shoot the bastard
If not then just a bath
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:52:14 PM EDT
shoot him he might be a zombie and thats whats causing the smell
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:52:27 PM EDT
Bath.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:52:48 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:53:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By mcnielsen:
BTW, You are not a cop, are you?




Why? Did I spell everything wrong and leave donut glaze on the keyboard?



roy d...not a cop
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:53:58 PM EDT
bath and a milk bone
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:54:23 PM EDT
I hate when that happens. I always try to make things so the wife find it soon, then its off to the bath tub for pooch and I don't have to deal with it. Why have a wife if she won't clean shit.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:54:46 PM EDT
Should I have done a search for "What round is best for Zombie dogs?"

roy d....likes the .45acp
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:54:51 PM EDT
Just how big an ole boy are ya? Id pour a 55 gallon drum a whoop ass on him.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:55:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:
Just whoop his ass, By God!



Too late.
Now you'll just be whooping his ass just for the sake of whooping.
You should have whooped his ass when he was rolling on the stuff... ot its too late.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:56:16 PM EDT
they always find the worst smelling thing in the yard don't they.


why can't they roll on flowers, herbs, or pie...


it's always the worst fucking thing imaginable times 10.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:57:54 PM EDT
My dog likes to roll around in goose shit & deer shit.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:58:05 PM EDT
DON'T shoot him. It's messy and he'll still stink anyway.

Just throw him in the washer with a bunch of Oxyclean, and put it on the Super Cycle.

When it's done, he'll be fine. A little dizzy, but fine.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:58:18 PM EDT



Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:58:30 PM EDT
trick is to get the wife to do it right as she gets home let the dog in wife smells it she says bathe the dog you say can't and she does it to keep from getting the house to smell that way

ohhhhh use bakeing soda and tomato juice will kill the smell and follow up with a dog shampoo

oh bury the rodant too
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 12:59:11 PM EDT

Originally Posted By yobo:
[Too late.
Now you'll just be whooping his ass just for the sake of whooping.
You should have whooped his ass when he was rolling on the stuff... ot its too late.




I didn't know he was rolling in it...if I whooped his ass after he came over, he would of associated the ass whooping with the "here boy" and that's bad mojo.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 1:03:57 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 3:36:28 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/8/2006 3:40:16 PM EDT by RoyDamnMercer]
Grabbed a shovel and buried it in the front yard...

<­BR>





­

<­BR>

...the neighbors front yard.....the squirrel, of course. You didn't think I was actually gonna kill my dog did ya?

Dog survives ordeal. As well as master.

Gets bath. Leaves thick, nasty, grey residue and hair stew behind.


BTW, Sam appreciates the 72% that voted bath and he dropped dead rodents in the yards of the other 21%

roy d...squirrels suck
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 3:42:16 PM EDT
bath,
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 3:52:17 PM EDT
I'd just leave the dog in the backyard for a week or so, that smell will eventually fade.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 4:00:17 PM EDT
RoyDamnMercer, are you a sworn law enforcement officer? If not, you have no business shooting your or anyone else's dog.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 4:09:49 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 4:13:44 PM EDT
Shouldn't this be in the "Brothers of the Shield" forum?
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 4:21:26 PM EDT
He's not out of the woods yet. The bullet voters are gaining ground and are preparing for an upset.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 4:23:36 PM EDT
I said bath because well, unless you are a cop you will probably get in trouble for shooting him. That said, use tomato juice, just like you would for skunk
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 4:29:23 PM EDT
My dog has ripped a hole in the liner of my pond and killed my fish. Now the bitch is chained up in the backyard eating out of a hubcap were the b%tch belongs. I am really entertaining the bullet idea.

Roy D are you that little skinny sumbitch?
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 4:34:55 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 5:14:33 PM EDT
Go get the liter bottle of lemon juice from the market, and bathe him. When he is wet in warm watter, pour the lemon juice over his back and massage in. The citric acid will burn up the rot smell brought on by decaying fat lipid. It is the same way I get dead squirl off my Labrador.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 5:20:18 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 5:26:14 PM EDT

Originally Posted By David_Hineline:
For some reason dogs like to roll in dead things? Maybe hides thier scent when on the hunt. I took my dog out for a run one time over an hour from home, She ran right out and rolled in a fresh Cow Pie.

Try an hour long drive back with that in the car.



You got it. Its a natural instinct. They do it so they can sneak up on prey and not smell like 'dog'.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 5:30:36 PM EDT
CAN YE SMELL IT?



and


GET DO BOTH!



Link Posted: 2/8/2006 5:34:12 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/8/2006 6:38:18 PM EDT by Noname]
Happiness is going to the lake and your dumbass cute little black doggie finds the 3ft rotting dead carp and manages to roll his 27 acre body in it a few hundred times before you discover WTF is going on...
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 5:40:48 PM EDT
Bath. Damn, 35% said shoot it. It's gaining....
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 5:52:29 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/8/2006 5:52:55 PM EDT by barkley-addict]
dogs are dogs, some smell here and there is nature. Dogs roll in things, get skunked, ect.,
Nature is good, the city doesn't wash off, just man up and bathe the dog.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 5:58:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By barkley-addict:
dogs are dogs, some smell here and there is nature. Dogs roll in things, get skunked, ect.,
Nature is good, the city doesn't wash off, just man up and bathe the dog.




Hell no. Load his stinkin' ass up in the back of the truck and drop him off at the local dog groomer. Tell them to give you a call when he no longer reeks of death.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 6:13:04 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Stasher1:

Originally Posted By barkley-addict:
dogs are dogs, some smell here and there is nature. Dogs roll in things, get skunked, ect.,
Nature is good, the city doesn't wash off, just man up and bathe the dog.




Hell no. Load his stinkin' ass up in the back of the truck and drop him off at the local dog groomer. Tell them to give you a call when he no longer reeks of death.




It's not that I'm mad at him for being a dog...it's just so much easier to shoot him than bathe him...



roy d....glad I'm not a groomer
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 6:18:03 PM EDT
The word is "bathe" the dog, not "bath" the dog.

Just spray him with a hose and shampoo him.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 6:20:21 PM EDT
Shoot yourself and make the dog the "alpha male master".

_________________________


Link Posted: 2/8/2006 6:22:56 PM EDT
Be happy he is just rolling in dead things.

My dog is a shit eater....she prefers her own, but is not too picky.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 6:23:31 PM EDT

Originally Posted By RoyDamnMercer:
like the good boy he is



Well he is just trying to please you. Just not in your eyes. Give him a bath.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 6:23:35 PM EDT
PS...

Take the dog to the 25 cent carwash and run a few $'s through the machine.

It's the only way to be sure...
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 6:24:14 PM EDT
Just how big a dog are ya?

Bath.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 6:26:07 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Noname:
Happiness is going to the lake and your dumbass cute little black doggie finds the 3ft rotting dead carp and manages to roll his 27 acre body body in it a few hundred times before you discover WTF is going on...



I had a similiar experience with a 75# dog and a six foot diameter by two foot tall pile of rotting fish. Thankfully the pet shop was open untill 9:00PM that night. The funny part is there has only been a couple of times I was so pissed at him and he was so pleased with himself he couldn't wipe the grin off his furry face. Me: Him: It was a long night of scrubbing.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 6:28:57 PM EDT
Stinky dog??

Maybe he's already dead ala Pet Cemetary.
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