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Posted: 2/6/2006 9:21:17 AM EDT


Mr. T

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1. Before Mr.T was born there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.
2. One night Mr. T took a 10 p.m. train home. He still refuses to give it back.
3. The T virus in Resident Evil is based on what happens to a person when they are exposed overwhelming amounts of pity inflicted by Mr. T. There is currently no cure.
4. God was able to create the world in seven days only because he had the aid of Mr. T, a blow torch, and a musical montage.
5. Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise.
6. Mr. T can walk on water. He can also walk on fire. His preference however, is to walk on fools.
7. Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
8. Mr. T has removed Pee Wee Herman from existence for making fun of his cereal.
9. Mr. T scared the black out of Michael Jackson.
10. Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
11. As a child MR. T used to go into the sewers of NY and hunt alligators. I know what you are thinking: “There are no alligators in the sewers of NY”. Yeah...Now!
12. Google won't search for Mr. T because it knows you don't find Mr. T, he finds you.
13. The only thing to survive a nuclear holocaust would be Mr. T and cockroaches - Mr. T does not like cockroaches... for that reason and that reason alone Russia and the USA agreed to reduce their nuclear arsenal
14. Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
15. If you have ever beaten Mr. T at a game, you obviously didn't know the rules.
16. The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
17. Mr. T was almost involved in a second car crash. To avoid the crash, he folded his arms and slowly shook his head. The car decided it was safer to avoid Mr. T.
18. When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.
19. Contrary to popular belief, Mr. T was not beat by Sylvester Stallone in Rocky III. He actually lost to Stallone's stuntman, Chuck Norris. It took 5 hours of work by a dozen makeup artists to make Chuck Norris ugly enough to be a believable Stallone. Even with Chuck Norris, it was still necessary to use 3 metric tons of animal traquilizers to knock Mr. T out long enough for a 10 count.
20. Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
21. A common and widespread form of capital punishment in olden times was known as "pitification", where fools, sometimes in large numbers were brought before Mr. T and pitied to death. Later, the process was deemed too messy and inhumane. Thus, impalement and crucifixion were invented.
22. When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
23. Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
24. Mr.T has created a laxative. The box contains only a picture of Mr. T with his arms crossed but that image alone can make a person crap themselves.
25. Mr. T once fell into a pool of lava. He nearly drowned.
26. Death is Mr. T's way of saying 'Slow the #### down'.
27. The last time Mr.T went hunting he got a 10 point buck, a white rhino and two bald eagles... He is no longer allowed into the Zoo.
28. When in the presence of Mr.T a magic-8-ball ALWAYS predicts PAIN!
29. Someone once suggested that Mr. T's first name is Pit. His body was found 10 seconds later. The police concluded that he committed suicide by stabbing himself with a Mohawk 389 times, choking himself with a gold chain and by eating both of his own legs.
30. Mr. T walked in front of a speeding bus. Needless to say, he was charged with 7 counts of manslaughter.
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:22:54 AM EDT
Here we go again...
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:24:22 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:26:35 AM EDT
Man, this would be so hilarious if I was still in middle school.
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:28:23 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:28:24 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:30:33 AM EDT
My Mr. T thread got locked in minutes.

G
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:30:37 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/6/2006 9:33:23 AM EDT by mjohn3006]


27. The last time Mr.T went hunting he got a 10 point buck, a white rhino and two bald eagles... He is no longer allowed into the Zoo.
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:32:27 AM EDT
I pity the fool who locks this thread..
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:34:19 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Palo_Duro:
Man, this would be so hilarious if I was still in middle school.


So where are you at now? 9th grade?
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:34:21 AM EDT



I pity tha fool who mess with this thread
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:35:11 AM EDT
good stuff


at least proper respect was shown to chuck.
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:35:49 AM EDT
It takes a smart guy to play dumb.
- Mr. T
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:39:19 AM EDT
Maybe YOU too can have threads started 20 years after YOU have faded into professional obscurity.
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:41:01 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/6/2006 9:42:02 AM EDT by Palo_Duro]

Originally Posted By coondog:

Originally Posted By Palo_Duro:
Man, this would be so hilarious if I was still in middle school.


So where are you at now? 9th grade?



I agree - A 9th grade level of maturity would be considerably higher than what's needed to find this entertaining.
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:42:13 AM EDT
Man, I don't really care if the thread gets locked or not.... I just made the post for fun.
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:46:20 AM EDT

Originally Posted By cheaptrickfan:
Man, I don't really care if the thread gets locked or not.... I just made the post for fun.



I know you did. It just gets old. Especially after the spamming of the Norris topics. I'll butt out of your thread now. Sorry for dumping in it.
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:48:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/6/2006 9:49:10 AM EDT by Zippy_The_Wonderdog]
I once saw Mr. T driving a red rolls royce convertible in downtown Chicago in the early 90's. He had all the gold chains on, as well as the overalls.

He was stopped to turn from Wacker onto Jackson Blvd. Out of some strange instinct, I yelled, "Hey! Mr. T!" He looked at me and grunted in a typical Mr. T fashion. He then winked, smiled, and drove away.

I thought it was kinda cool.

Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:50:47 AM EDT
A friend of mine lived down the street from him for a while.
That was when he wasn't doing so well financially.
Supposedly he was an asshole then...
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:53:02 AM EDT
Mr. T + AC556 = Fond memories of the A-team

Link Posted: 2/6/2006 9:54:09 AM EDT
rofllolzomgwtfbbq!!!1!11one!!1oneone1!
fag bastards, all of you
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 10:29:00 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 10:45:42 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 10:55:06 AM EDT

Originally Posted By beernut:



That smily has been pitied to death.
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 10:59:28 AM EDT
What?
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 11:08:04 AM EDT
Seriously. Did he die or just never get picked up for "Celebrity Survivor"? Where is he these days?
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 11:10:23 AM EDT
So, when do the avatars start changing?

CO
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 11:12:47 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Johninaustin:
Seriously. Did he die or just never get picked up for "Celebrity Survivor"? Where is he these days?



It is hard to say what Mr. T is doing lately, but one thing I do know - he ain't got time for JIBBA JABBA!!!
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 11:13:40 AM EDT


Originally Posted By Johninaustin:
Seriously. Did he die or just never get picked up for "Celebrity Survivor"? Where is he these days?



Last I knew he was alive, having survived a bout with cancer or something similarly serious.
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 11:36:51 AM EDT
When will this all END!!!
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 1:02:14 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 1:13:03 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 1:14:52 PM EDT
I posted this same exact topic on 1-11-06, and it was locked and sent to the trash bin.

"Posting repeat topics with similar or slightly varying titles. While it may seem to be funny, the "spamming" of the community in this manner results in problems for users and management," or so I was told. Well, I thought it was funny. I guess not.

Link Posted: 2/6/2006 1:26:54 PM EDT

Originally Posted By FITTER:
I posted this same exact topic on 1-11-06, and it was locked and sent to the trash bin.

"Posting repeat topics with similar or slightly varying titles. While it may seem to be funny, the "spamming" of the community in this manner results in problems for users and management," or so I was told. Well, I thought it was funny. I guess not.




I love it when a plan dupe comes together.
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 3:10:08 PM EDT
I pity the fool that locks this thread!
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 3:35:03 PM EDT
I ain't gettin' on no plane.

Link Posted: 2/6/2006 3:48:19 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 3:54:43 PM EDT
That guy is only 5'3". They used to have to film him way up in front of the other guys to make him look big.
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 3:55:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By CasualObserver:
So, when do the avatars start changing?

CO



IMHO at least there would be less Chuck avatars.
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 3:58:35 PM EDT
Newp. 5'10 1/2"

www.imdb.com/name/nm0001558/bio


Originally Posted By pcsutton:
That guy is only 5'3". They used to have to film him way up in front of the other guys to make him look big.

Link Posted: 2/6/2006 4:02:31 PM EDT
You would still think he is taller.
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 4:04:54 PM EDT
Mr. T or Chuck Norris?

Discuss!
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 5:13:50 PM EDT
I sure hope Mr. T doesn't read this jibba jabba!
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 5:20:45 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 5:23:04 PM EDT
Mr. T ate my balls!
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 5:23:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By FITTER:
I ain't gettin' on no plane.

images15.fotki.com/v265/photos/2/262472/941685/22jpeg-vi.jpg



Nice stunt double.
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 5:51:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Zaphod:

Originally Posted By FITTER:
I ain't gettin' on no plane.

images15.fotki.com/v265/photos/2/262472/941685/22jpeg-vi.jpg



Nice stunt double.



Actually, it's Bumpy Knuckles from the John Cena video, "Bad, Bad Man." (music from The Shield commercial)

Link Posted: 2/6/2006 5:55:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Johninaustin:
Seriously. Did he die or just never get picked up for "Celebrity Survivor"? Where is he these days?



He's still around. He can be seen on Christian TV stations a regular basis. Seriously.
Link Posted: 2/6/2006 6:05:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:
Newp. 5'10 1/2"

www.imdb.com/name/nm0001558/bio


Originally Posted By pcsutton:
That guy is only 5'3". They used to have to film him way up in front of the other guys to make him look big.




Newp ! -1

I've met him .... up close.... He'd be LUCKY to be 5'3"........

Seriously ... He might be 5'5"
Link Posted: 2/7/2006 6:20:28 PM EDT

Originally Posted By FITTER:

Originally Posted By Zaphod:

Originally Posted By FITTER:
I ain't gettin' on no plane.

images15.fotki.com/v265/photos/2/262472/941685/22jpeg-vi.jpg



Nice stunt double.



Actually, it's Bumpy Knuckles from the John Cena video, "Bad, Bad Man." (music from The Shield commercial)

images2.fotki.com/v17/photos/2/262472/2081002/mrt_icon-vi.gif



The video, for those who haven't seen it:

rapidshare.de/files/2011280/John_Cena_and_Tha_Trademarc_ft_Bumpy_Knuckles_-_Bad__Bad_Man__www.cena.cjb.net_.wmv.html

(download)
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 3:13:02 PM EDT

A common and widespread form of capital punishment in olden times was known as "pitification", where fools, sometimes in large numbers were brought before Mr. T and pitied to death. Later, the process was deemed too messy and inhumane. Thus, impalement and crucifixion were invented.





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