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Posted: 2/1/2006 1:10:25 AM EDT
Ok I need real advice from people that would know......

My question is that, me and my girlfriend have recently broken up....There have been talks about us getting back together (i broke up with her) During our relationship i've had her login and password to a site, myspace, and have had the ability to see her messages. It has proven to be useful because i have used that in some of the decisions i've made about her based on some of her messages. Now that were thinking about getting back together and trust is a huge thing.....Is having someone passwords and login legal. Like if i told her that i have her password and have read some of the messages shes sent.......Would that in any way be against the law?

I know its fucked up....but i've had some serious trust issues with her....And were probably not going to get back together because of that....But i want to let her know the reason i dont want to get back is because of some of the messages.

Or should i just shut up and not say shit about me having the passwords


please help me!
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 1:12:06 AM EDT
Loose lips sink ships.
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 1:15:50 AM EDT
ya something is telling me not to say shit...........But i really want to prove to her that i caught her in a fucking lie....so she doesnt think she got away with it
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 1:19:56 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 1:20:41 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/1/2006 1:20:59 AM EDT by ARDunstan]
Tell her you don't want to see her because you can't trust her.
When she asks how just say, I know about it.

THATS IT.

Say good bye, turn around and walk out of her life.

If you don't do that, you will be sorry.


Link Posted: 2/1/2006 1:21:08 AM EDT
The "myspace" part says it all......
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 1:26:42 AM EDT
Ya myspace is Ghey!

I just want to know if say i did say something....If i could get in trouble for knowing her password and seeing mail
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 1:27:17 AM EDT
I fucking hate liars though.............Man im pissed!
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 1:42:49 AM EDT

Originally Posted By PermaNoob:
Ya myspace is Ghey!

I just want to know if say i did say something....If i could get in trouble for knowing her password and seeing mail



How did you acquire this bit of info?
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 1:55:37 AM EDT
Can you get in trouble by just accessing her page .... No .

Now if you put something up on her page that was somehow
illegal then ... yes .

As for advice . Forget her password and forget her .

Then have a talk with yourself about being a sneaky
asshat and an idiot for announcing your deceit here
for all to see
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 1:58:32 AM EDT
Just let her go man. If you can't trust her, then what do you have? A wet moist hole? A buddy with benefits?

Trust and honesty are paramount for any relationship. If you don't have it then what do you have?

Max
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 2:02:26 AM EDT
Let her go is the best thing you can do.. Don't fight it. There is women every where. Let her go. Never Never stay with someone you can't trust if all possible. DON"T SLEEP with the ENEMY. You broke up for a reason. Walk my friend. WarDawg
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 2:35:36 AM EDT
Im expecting to get flamed for this one, but im at a point where I just don't care.

I think that im going to take all of your advice and not let her know that i have her login and password.

If it were my friend that was asking the same question, i'd tell him the same thing. I think that when your in the situation you get blinded by whats going on and all of the emotions involved that sometimes asking for advice is the best thing that you could do. Ya maybe posting it on here wasn't the best of ideas, but its also 3:30 in the morning and there aren't alot of people up around here. And also i've noticed that there are alot of different kinds of people on here, and there advice could only help the situation not to mention maybe other people have had similar experiences.

Now for the flame:

I guess the reason why im trying so hard with her is because i care alot about her and we've had an amazing relationship. We didn't break up because of trust issues or because a fight or anything like that. I broke up with her because i thought that she needed to get herself healthy before investing into a relationship. She is 5'2 105lbs and has an eating disorder. I didnt find out about this until a little ways into our relationship. And being the "Capt. Save A Girl" like I am, i thought that i could be there for her and help her through it. I came to a point that i realized that she needed to do this on her own and for herself. I've never broken up with a girl for a reason like this, and it feels weird. Im used to getting into a fight, or some other big reason, but not something like this. All seemed well for the first few days, but i began to doubt my decision. It didnt help that she was still friends with my roommate so i knew everything that was going on. Usually when i break up with someone, my friends dont stick around and remain friends, but in this case my roomie wanted to, and i thought it would be good for her. What hit me the hardest was hearing about how her daughter wanted to know; why i dont like them anymore, and why they can't come over anymore. She said that all she wanted to do was come and give me a big hug and say that she was sorry. Her daughter is 3. THIS HIT ME HARD! I dont know why! This isn't the only reason why i was trying to make things work but it deffiently played a big part.......

Im in my early 20s and so is she....hinking.gif
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 2:43:11 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ARDunstan:
Tell her you don't want to see her because you can't trust her.
When she asks how just say, I know about it.

THATS IT.

Say good bye, turn around and walk out of her life.

If you don't do that, you will be sorry.





They dont seem to change once they are unfaithful. They may act like it for awhile, but if she was willing to cheat (if thats what she did) its becuz shes unhappy, and getting back together only gives her that butterfly feeling for a limited amount of time.

Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 2:53:44 AM EDT

Originally Posted By memyselfandi:

Originally Posted By ARDunstan:
Tell her you don't want to see her because you can't trust her.
When she asks how just say, I know about it.

THATS IT.

Say good bye, turn around and walk out of her life.

If you don't do that, you will be sorry.





They dont seem to change once they are unfaithful. They may act like it for awhile, but if she was willing to cheat (if thats what she did) its becuz shes unhappy, and getting back together only gives her that butterfly feeling for a limited amount of time.

Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me



She didn't cheat....A part of me kinda wishes that she did, it would make things a heck of a lot more cut and dry. Basically while we were all feeling sorry for her and my roommate was trying to be there for her after we broke up.......Her coke head cousin introduced her boyfriends neighbor. This was about 3 days after the break up, the same day that she called me asking to come over and talk to me, but before her meeting this guy. She had told me that she was hanging out with her cousin, and I told her that it was a really bad idea because she wasn't the best person to be around while being depressed.

During our relationship her cousin told her parents that i beat the shit out of my girlfriend, and that im abusive. Everyone that knew me was shocked.....My girlfriend later told me she said that because she was jealous of our relationship

Long story short.....She kept wanting to meet up and talk to me and try to work things out...I asked her tonight about this dude, and she played it off like she just met him and doesnt talk to him. The messages are saw are pretty clear that they have been talking ALOT and while we were talking she kept saying how tired she was.....In the messages it was explained that she was tired because she had been up late with him last night....I dont know if it was on the phone or what, but she does have a daughter and I know she wouldnt have a guy she just met over at her place. I asked a lot of question that gave her the oppurtunity to tell me the truth and she didnt....

This info is just to tell the whole story.....Im sure it probably makes me look bad more than anything else....But it should hopefully leave out some questions about what happened....

Like i said before, i think im going to take your advice!
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 3:07:13 AM EDT

Originally Posted By maxell27:
Just let her go man. If you can't trust her, then what do you have? A wet moist hole? A buddy with benefits?

Trust and honesty are paramount for any relationship. If you don't have it then what do you have?

Max



+100000000000000000000000 Trust IS the cornerstone of any relationship. If someone doesn't trust their significant other than they are ALWAYS unhappy.

IMHO don't blame yourself because you caught her lying. Just be sure what you read isn't posted out of frustration or anger and isn't really how she felt about that particular situation.
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 3:09:08 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/1/2006 3:09:56 AM EDT by SubnetMask]
You asked for advice, and you're going to get it. I'll give it to you straight.

What is this shit? This is some Miickey Mouse bullshit. Get a hold of yourself. You're making this alot more complicated than it needs to be. If you have trust issues with her, and have dropped her, then by all means keep it that way. You can't fix her, so quit trying. Dismiss whatever thoughts you have about discolosing your myspace.com escapades.

This has red flags and sirens all over the place. I don't know where to begin. She has a jealous coke head cousin who's spreading lies about you to her parents. She has an eating disorder. She's got people trying to introduce her to other men. She's entertaining other ideas by talking to them frequently.

I don't know you and I don't mean to be rude, but pull your head out of your ass. She's dragging you down and she's using her daughter's emotions to manipulate you. Want my advice? You've already kicked her to the curb. Throw the trash out behind her.

It's been posted already in this thread, but I've always had a slightly different version:

Fool me once, shame on me.
Fool me twice, FUCK YOU.
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 3:09:16 AM EDT

Originally Posted By COZ:

Originally Posted By maxell27:
Just let her go man. If you can't trust her, then what do you have? A wet moist hole? A buddy with benefits?

Trust and honesty are paramount for any relationship. If you don't have it then what do you have?

Max



+100000000000000000000000 he
IMHO don't blame yourself because you caught her lying. Just be sure what you read isn't posted out of frustration or anger and isn't really how she felt about that particular situation.



It wasn't posted.....I found all of this out through her messages.....Kinda like a email deal.

Shady of me, i know....but shes had me skeptical before i thought she learned
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 3:12:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SubnetMask:
You asked for advice, and you're going to get it. I'll give it to you straight.

What is this shit? This is some Miickey Mouse bullshit. Get a hold of yourself. You're making this alot more complicated than it needs to be. If you have trust issues with her, and have dropped her, then by all means keep it that way. You can't fix her, so quit trying. Dismiss whatever thoughts you have about discolosing your myspace.com escapades.

This has red flags and sirens all over the place. I don't know where to begin. She has a jealous coke head cousin who's spreading lies about you to her parents. She has an eating disorder. She's got people trying to introduce her to other men. She's entertaining other ideas by talking to them frequently.

I don't know you and I don't mean to be rude, but pull your head out of your ass. She's dragging you down and she's using her daughter's emotions to manipulate you. Want my advice? You've already kicked her to the curb. Throw the trash out behind her.

It's been posted already in this thread, but I've always had a slightly different version:

Fool me once, shame on me.
Fool me twice, FUCK YOU.



I like your style....And i appreciate the way that you went about saying that, your totally right. I know it was said by other people but your straight forward honest reply is what I needed to hear.

Im sorry if i wasted anyones time in reading this....and i appreciate those of you who have taken the time to post!

Again, Thank you Subnet
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 3:40:43 AM EDT

Originally Posted By PermaNoob:
I like your style....And i appreciate the way that you went about saying that, your totally right. I know it was said by other people but your straight forward honest reply is what I needed to hear.

Im sorry if i wasted anyones time in reading this....and i appreciate those of you who have taken the time to post!

Again, Thank you Subnet



Hey, you're welcome. Some of my closest friends have done the same for me.

Take care.
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