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Posted: 1/31/2006 8:12:36 PM EDT
I'm afraid fluoridation is eroding my essence. Damn commies.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 8:14:59 PM EDT
From your post, I think the problem is alcohol, not tap water.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 8:15:41 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Combat_Jack:
From your post, I think the problem is alcohol, not tap water.



Nope, I don't drink during the week.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 8:16:36 PM EDT
Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, but I... I do deny them my essence.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 8:17:08 PM EDT
What do you mean by "essence"
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 8:18:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By LArifleMAN:
What do you mean by "essence"



Link Posted: 1/31/2006 8:18:11 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/31/2006 8:19:07 PM EDT by motown_steve]
Have you ever wondered why I only drink rain water or pure grain alcohol?
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 8:18:45 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/31/2006 8:20:02 PM EDT by MonkTx]

Originally Posted By Zakk_Wylde_470:
Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, but I... I do deny them my essence.



I knew somebody on here would get it.

Someone on the boards is using a Jack T. Ripper avatar, just can't remember who.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 8:19:46 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 8:22:40 PM EDT
General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Lord, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: You know when fluoridation first began?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I... no, no. I don't, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen, tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?
General Jack D. Ripper: Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.
General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 8:22:44 PM EDT

Originally Posted By MonkTx:
I'm afraid fluoridation is eroding my essence. Damn commies.



lol, I've tried but I can't for more than a day or two!


Mandrake?
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 8:30:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/1/2006 5:28:29 AM EDT by M1-Matt]

Originally Posted By MonkTx:

Originally Posted By Zakk_Wylde_470:
Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, but I... I do deny them my essence.



I knew somebody on here would get it.

Someone on the boards is using a Jack T. Ripper avatar, just can't remember who.



<---------------

I knew I had heard that before when I saw the photo it hit me like this

I need to watch that agian.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 8:54:35 PM EDT



Ice Cream, Mandrake... Children's Ice Cream!
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 8:56:35 PM EDT

Link Posted: 1/31/2006 8:58:13 PM EDT
best lay off the High Karate
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 8:59:13 PM EDT
I do not deny them my essence. However, they deny my existence.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 9:01:10 PM EDT
But the whole point to having a dooms day device is that YOU TELL PEOPLE ABOUT IT!

We were going to anounce it Monday. You know how the premear likes surprises.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 9:02:01 PM EDT
"My fuhrer! I can walk!"

*nuclear explosions*
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 9:03:41 PM EDT

Originally Posted By motown_steve:
Have you ever wondered why I only drink rain water or pure grain alcohol?



so you dont brush your teeth??
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 10:29:56 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/31/2006 10:30:50 PM EDT by napalm]
Deny women my essence?


Hell no! I spray it all over their faces.



Link Posted: 1/31/2006 11:57:29 PM EDT
Heck, a guy could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that!
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 12:01:47 AM EDT
You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company. ...
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 12:32:36 AM EDT
General "Buck" Turgidson: "Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?"

Dr. Strangelove: "Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature."

Ambassador de Sadesky: "I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor."

~~~

[the President calls the Soviet Premier]
President Merkin Muffley: [to Kissoff] "Hello?... Ah... I can't hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little?... Oh-ho, that's much better... yeah... huh... yes... Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri... Clear and plain and coming through fine... I'm coming through fine, too, eh?... Good, then... well, then, as you say, we're both coming through fine... Good... Well, it's good that you're fine and... and I'm fine... I agree with you, it's great to be fine... a-ha-ha-ha-ha... Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb... The *Bomb*, Dmitri... The *hydrogen* bomb!... Well now, what happened is... ah... one of our base commanders, he had a sort of... well, he went a little funny in the head... you know... just a little... funny. And, ah... he went and did a silly thing... Well, I'll tell you what he did. He ordered his planes... to attack your country... Ah... Well, let me finish, Dmitri... Let me finish, Dmitri... Well listen, how do you think I feel about it?... Can you *imagine* how I feel about it, Dmitri?... Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello?... *Of course* I like to speak to you!... *Of course* I like to say hello!... Not now, but anytime, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened... It's a *friendly* call. Of course it's a friendly call... Listen, if it wasn't friendly... you probably wouldn't have even got it... They will *not* reach their targets for at least another hour... I am... I am positive, Dmitri... Listen, I've been all over this with your ambassador. It is not a trick... Well, I'll tell you. We'd like to give your air staff a complete run-down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes... Yes! I mean i-i-i-if we're unable to recall the planes, then... I'd say that, ah... well, ah... we're just gonna have to help you destroy them, Dmitri... I know they're our boys... All right, well listen now. Who should we call?... *Who* should we call, Dmitri? The... wha-whe, the People... you, sorry, you faded away there... The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters... Where is that, Dmitri?... In Omsk... Right... Yes... Oh, you'll call them first, will you?... Uh-huh... Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dmitri?... Whe-ah, what? I see, just ask for Omsk information... Ah-ah-eh-uhm-hm... I'm sorry, too, Dmitri... I'm very sorry... *All right*, you're sorrier than I am, but I am as sorry as well... I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri! Don't say that you're more sorry than I am, because I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are... So we're both sorry, all right?... All right."
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 12:37:33 AM EDT
<----
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 12:45:45 AM EDT
We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when
But I'm sure we'll meet again some sunny day
Keep smiling through, just the way you used to do
Till the blue skies chase the dark clouds far away

Now, won't you please say "Hello" to the folks that I know
Tell 'em it won't be long
'cause they'd be happy to know that when you saw me go
I was singing this song

We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when
But I'm sure we'll meet again some sunny day

Yes, we'll meet again. Darlin', I don't know where and I don't know when. But
I KNOW we'll meet again one of these good ole sunshiny days. Ya know, darlin', all ya gotta
do is just keep on smilin' through you know just like you ALWAYS do, until the blue skies
chase the dark clouds far, far, far away. I wantcha to do me a favor, please say "Hello" to
all
the folks that I know. Well, just tell 'em it won't be long. They'd be happy to know that when
you saw me go, I was standin' right here, singin' this song.

We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day.


Link Posted: 2/1/2006 1:03:06 AM EDT
PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS:)
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 2:16:27 AM EDT
At this height, they might harpoon us, but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar!
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 3:08:35 AM EDT

<-----------------
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 5:29:47 AM EDT
Have to love the M1919A4 action



Link Posted: 2/1/2006 5:32:50 AM EDT
My wife says my essence is a blend of motor oil and Fast Orange.
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 5:41:37 AM EDT
You're going to have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 5:52:50 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/1/2006 5:53:10 AM EDT by Admiral_Crunch]
"Am I to understand that the Russian ambassador is to be admitted entrance to the War Room?!"
"That is correct, he is here on my orders."
"I don't know exactly how to put this, sir, but are you aware of what a serious breach of security that would be? I mean, he'll see everything, he'll... he'll see the Big Board!"
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 9:10:00 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 9:13:10 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/1/2006 9:15:08 AM EDT by jchewie]

Originally Posted By Combat_Jack:
I do not deny them my essence. However, they deny my existence.






BWAAAHAHA
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 9:19:53 AM EDT
I just love the smell of Hoppe's on a man.

Now THAT'S essence.
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 9:20:05 AM EDT

Originally Posted By M1-Matt:
Have to love the M1919A4 action

img.photobucket.com/albums/v367/M1-Matt/Colonal03big.jpg

img.photobucket.com/albums/v367/M1-Matt/Colonal02.jpg



And you wondered what Air Force guys kept in their golf bags
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 10:48:00 AM EDT

Originally Posted By daisywench:
I just love the smell of Hoppe's on a man.

Now THAT'S essence.




<-----Is trying to figure out a way to clone Daisy.





Link Posted: 2/1/2006 12:44:18 PM EDT

Originally Posted By M1-Matt:
Have to love the M1919A4 action

img.photobucket.com/albums/v367/M1-Matt/Colonal03big.jpg

img.photobucket.com/albums/v367/M1-Matt/Colonal02.jpg



"Good shooting, soldier!"

Link Posted: 2/1/2006 1:17:47 PM EDT

Originally Posted By pattymcn:
best lay off the High Karate


Not all of the "kids"here are going to know that one.
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 2:00:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Lon_Moer:

Originally Posted By pattymcn:
best lay off the High Karate


Not all of the "kids"here are going to know that one.



Slaps on his High Karate aftershave
Puts on his Elvis jacket custom made
Slips in his patent leather zebra boots
fires up his super sport Malibu
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 2:30:41 PM EDT
WE MUST NOT ALLOW A MINESHAFT GAP!!!!!
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 2:37:32 PM EDT

Originally Posted By daisywench:
I just love the smell of Hoppe's on a man.

Now THAT'S essence.



Personally, I prefer the essence of Break Free CLP on my man.
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 4:10:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Swindle1984:

Originally Posted By M1-Matt:
Have to love the M1919A4 action

img.photobucket.com/albums/v367/M1-Matt/Colonal03big.jpg

img.photobucket.com/albums/v367/M1-Matt/Colonal02.jpg



"Good shootingThat's nice shooting, soldier!"




Get it right.
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 4:15:57 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ARDunstan:

Originally Posted By daisywench:
I just love the smell of Hoppe's on a man.

Now THAT'S essence.




<-----Is trying to figure out a way to clone Daisy.






science.howstuffworks.com/cloning1.htm
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 7:09:09 PM EDT
General Jack Ripper
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 7:18:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Bostonterrier97:
General Jack Ripper



General Jack T. Ripper

As in "Jack The Ripper"
Link Posted: 2/2/2006 12:36:05 AM EDT

Originally Posted By LonePathfinder:

Originally Posted By Bostonterrier97:
General Jack Ripper



General Jack T. Ripper

As in "Jack The Ripper"



I thought it was General Jack D. Ripper...
Link Posted: 2/2/2006 2:56:26 AM EDT
That movie was one of the best of the 20th century, and Peter Sellars the most underappreciated comedian I know among americans.
Link Posted: 2/2/2006 3:25:57 AM EDT
POE...EOP...POE...Peace On Earth...Essence Of Purity...EOP
Link Posted: 2/2/2006 3:58:26 AM EDT

Originally Posted By AROKIE:

Originally Posted By motown_steve:
Have you ever wondered why I only drink rain water or pure grain alcohol?



so you dont brush your teeth??






Link Posted: 2/2/2006 4:09:08 AM EDT
"Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find:

- One forty-five caliber automatic
- Two boxes of ammunition
- Four days' concentrated emergency rations
- One drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine,
vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills
- One miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible
- One hundred dollars in rubles
- One hundred dollars in gold
- Nine packs of chewing gum
- One issue of prophylactics
- Three lipsticks
- Three pair of nylon stockings.

Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff."
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