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Posted: 1/19/2006 4:59:53 PM EDT
Hmm, things are strange at teh cyoung estate....

Hmm, the g/f of ten years suddenly seems highly sex resistant, stays up late in the living room and frequently sleeps there, distant, won't talk much. Most physical contact she shies away from. She mentioned at the end of the month that she 'is a little late.' EPT says no baby on the way, and period did kick in, but we have had very little sex and used protection each time.

I inquired and she is concerned about 'the relationship.' It seems that the idea of marriage, home, and family, (which I had recently indicated I would like to move ahead on), has caused her to revisit what she wants in life.

So, I ask her - "What do you want."

Answer - "I don't know."

I have been clear from the start that I am in this for marriage, home, and a family. Now, she does not seem to know if she wants any part of this.

Ok, guys, what do I do here? Is it time to pull the chute and bail? Has the dread babe-done-went-nuts kicked in? Advice/comments welcome.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:01:39 PM EDT
*looks around for that pic of the Thunderbird pilot punching-out*
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:01:42 PM EDT
CHEATING!!
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:01:55 PM EDT

Don't Panic!
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:05:49 PM EDT
Bail...
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:06:28 PM EDT
ARFCOM Dating Curse?


Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:06:37 PM EDT
It is probably time to move on. Better to find out now before any serious commitment has been made.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:07:51 PM EDT
Tell her that "I don't know" is a chicken shit answer. Sometimes a person neesd to make a decision, because time is ticking by, not waiting like you are on "I don't know."

She is in the state of living in the moment. "I don't know" is a sign that she is still thinking that someone else might come along that is better than you and she wants to keep her options open.

That's fine for a relationship a few months to a couple of years old. BUT 10 YEARS!!?!?!?!!? Tha's longer than most marriages last, you guys need to get married or start looking elsewhere...

"I don't know" after 10 years is a very fucked up and answer to give to someone you have devoted that much time to.

Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:08:08 PM EDT

Originally Posted By wump:
CHEATING!!



Yep.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:09:35 PM EDT
A relationship is not a F-14 Tomcat. It doesn't cost as much, isn't as cool, and you can't kill people with it. So in situations where you'd try and save the F-14, such as an engine failure, or a funny warning light, or odd feeling, in the same situation in a relationship you should grab that yellow and black handle and pull like hell.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:09:37 PM EDT
Goose .. Punchhh uss OOOOUTT! I.. I ... Can't reach the handle.... Can't reach....
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:12:24 PM EDT
be prepared to do one of the following:

1. deal with her bailing out on you.
2. realize you need to bail out on her.

If you're dating, then it's a relationship, not a lease; there ain't no early contract termination fee.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:13:30 PM EDT
Sounds familiar.

Most likey scenario (though not only possiblilty).............

She's cheating on you with another guy and is currently mulling over how/when/ if to bail on you for the other guy. She is currently thinking about whether it is worth saving your 10 year relationship or if she should bail to the new boyfriend. If you scratch the surface you may find that the unaccounted for time she spends away from you is with this 'new friend she met, but it's nothing'.......

Hide the stuff you really want to keep. Otherwise you'll come home from work to find it gone, with her, to her new boyfriend's place.

But then again, I could be wrong.


Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:15:32 PM EDT
If you demanded that I give my best answer, I would say - even on the limited information given - that she is stepping out on you. Probability well over 80%. I have handled uncounted hundreds of dicorces, breakups, et c. et c. et c. Brush your teeth thoroughly and kick her to the curb.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:17:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Spade:
A relationship is not a F-14 Tomcat. It doesn't cost as much, isn't as cool, and you can't kill people with it. So in situations where you'd try and save the F-14, such as an engine failure, or a funny warning light, or odd feeling, in the same situation in a relationship you should grab that yellow and black handle and pull like hell.



Now thats funny!! Sorry I know it doesn't help, I say keep your eyes open and see what happens. Prepare yourself for the worst.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:19:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By wump:
CHEATING!!



+ eleventy billion!!!!!

Been there...with my ex-wife. :-(

Now, if she was trying to get space, but still willing to "go there" physically, then I would say she is just having doubts about if the relationship should continue and vacillating emotionally. Contrary to popular belief, most people are loathe to be screwing two different partners at the same time. Well, at least most people I know. So the fact that she is resistant to physical contact is a huge red flag. HUGE.....DO NOT IGNORE IT.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:21:25 PM EDT
eject!
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:21:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By FLAL1A:
If you demanded that I give my best answer, I would say - even on the limited information given - that she is stepping out on you. Probability well over 80%. I have handled uncounted hundreds of dicorces, breakups, et c. et c. et c. Brush your teeth thoroughly and kick her to the curb.



You got that right!

Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:21:33 PM EDT
Sounds to me as if she has already begun 'looking around at other options'. You're probably going to need to press the subject.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:25:57 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:26:56 PM EDT
10 years? What the fuck have you been doing for 10 years?


Correction on the F/14 comment. It is possible to kill someone with a relationship... that someone being yourself.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:28:33 PM EDT
Please keep your head screwed on tight and DO NOT . You will need to keep your mind as sharp as possible for the bumpy road ahead. Good luck.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:28:52 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:30:20 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Bad_Aim:
Correction on the F/14 comment. It is possible to kill someone with a relationship... that someone being yourself.




You could also drive the other person to dancing the Tyburn jig, but typically neither is funny. Typically.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:34:03 PM EDT

Originally Posted By thebeekeeper1:
If she "doesn't know" after ten years she never will. You need to decide at this point what YOU want--another ten years of the same, or moving on to someone else while you still have your girlish figure (so to speak). Good luck with whatever you decide.



+1

I can't believe that I agree with that assho..... J/K.

10 years and undecided? Move on ASAP.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:34:18 PM EDT
Not very smart of her to waste 10 years of her life with you if she doesn't think there's a future with you.

And not very considerate of her to waste 10 years of your life too.

Sorry dude!
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:36:16 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/19/2006 5:37:20 PM EDT by fla556guy]
She's getting dick from another man. Call her on it, then boot her ass to the curb before she spends any more of your $, and for gods sakes, DON"T DO HER ANY MORE. IF SHE BECOMES PREGGO, your in the clear, because if you aint hitting it, you ain't gunna be payin for it.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:36:38 PM EDT
EJECTION

Situation — You must eject.

Actions

1. Accomplish critical action emergency procedures.
Include checklist and inflight guide pre-ejection
procedures, if time and conditions permit.

2. Assume a good body position prior to ejection.

Considerations

1. The pilot in command is responsible for ordering the
ejection, but there are rare cases where good judgment
may dictate ejection without a command.

2. Ejection can be commanded with a verbal or visual
signal.

a. Verbal — the words “BAILOUT, BAILOUT,
BAILOUT”

b. Visual (intercom out)

(1) “Face curtain” — One or both clenched fists
pulled downward across the face.

(2) Ejection by the pilot in command

3. The recommended minimum ejection altitude under
controlled conditions is 2,000 feet AGL. Your chances for
a safe ejection are greatly reduced if you delay below
2,000 feet AGL.

4. The minimum recommended ejection altitude under
uncontrolled conditions is 15,000 feet AGL. Uncontrolled
conditions can produce high sink rates, transverse G loads
and disorienting gyrations, which require more altitude
for a safe ejection.

5. You should attempt to “zoom” the aircraft to
approximately 20° nose high in a low-altitude ejection.
You should not delay your ejection if you do not have the
airspeed to pull the nose to 20° nose high.

6. Attempt to slow the aircraft to below 200 KIAS prior
to ejection, but maintain a minimum of 20 KIAS above the
minimum controllable airspeed. Slowing down will
minimize wind blast and deceleration forces on the body.
Moderate forces will be encountered at speeds up to
approximately 450 KIAS (0.7 Mach), severe forces causing
flailing and skin injuries occur between 450 KIAS (0.7
Mach) and 600 KIAS (0.9 Mach), and excessive forces
above 600 KIAS (0.9 Mach).

7. The ejection seat will provide a safe ejection at
ground level with 50 KIAS and no sink rate (if everything
works perfectly).

8. The crewmember in the rear cockpit will normally
eject first, time permitting. Doing so will prevent injury to
the rear crewmember from the front seat rocket motor.

9. After you have ejected, attempt to “beat the seat.” If
the seat malfunctions and you unstrap manually, push
away from the seat and pull the “orange knob.” If below
14,000 feet MSL, pull the D-ring.

10. Recall the following post-ejection procedures from
aerospace physiology training:

a. Check canopy.

b. Raise visor. The visor may already be lost due to
wind blast with the 55-P helmet.

c. Discard oxygen mask. Disconnect from bayonets,
CRU-60, and the comm cord.

d. Leave the PSK connected. Ejection and parachute
landing fall (PLF) are unaffected by the PSK.

e. Activate LPUs (if applicable).

f. Pull four-line jettison lanyards — one on each
rear riser. Do not pull four-line jettison if

(1) the canopy is damaged or you are unable to
determine canopy condition.

(2) below 200 feet AGL, except to avoid a
fireball.

(3) lines are broken or there is another
parachute/canopy malfunction.

g. Prepare for landing. Turn into the wind. At
approximately 200 feet AGL, discontinue turning
and assume the body position for a PLF.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:48:20 PM EDT
She is cheating on you or thinking about it. Punch out.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:51:54 PM EDT
Run, Forrest! Run!
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:56:26 PM EDT
Find a woman who does know what the hell she wants.

Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:57:14 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tomislav:
www.michaelworth.com/photos/T_Bird_6_eject.jpg



+infinity.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 5:57:42 PM EDT
+1 to all the eject comments.

Kharn
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 6:01:59 PM EDT
All women know what they want. They also know if they tell you, you won't like what you hear.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 6:06:06 PM EDT

Originally Posted By cyoung:
Hmm, things are strange at teh cyoung estate....

Hmm, the g/f of ten years suddenly seems highly sex resistant repulsed by the thought of intimate contact with you, stays up late in the living room dreaming what her it will be like when she can finally be with her one true love, or making late night phone sex calls while you are blissfully ignorantand frequently sleeps there due to a strong nasiating feeling that you might bumb into each other in the night, distant from the festering hatred that has been developing over the years, won't talk muchnow that her new boyfriend has shown her what a self centered asshole you truly are and she has nothing to say and is somewhat afriad to start a fight before she gets her ducks in a row and can get the hell out. Most physical contact she shies away fromsince she has mentally checked out of the relationship some time ago and is just coexisting in a hostile roommate scenario. She mentioned at the end of the month that she 'is a little late.' in order to test your resolve 'to see' and guage what your reactions might have been, it was a little test (to validate what she thinks she already knows) to compare you and the new boyfriend If you said anything other than "Great!!! I Love you!!! You need to quit your job and stay home now to raise our kids excpet of course when you'll be out with your friends with the allowance I'll be giving you so you can still have your space and feel like an adult" then you've already lost in her mind because that's most likely exactly what the other guy told her to get into her panties. EPT says no baby on the way, and period did kick in, but we have had very little sex pity sex when the other boyfriend wasn't availableand used protection each time.

I inquired and she is concerned about 'the relationship.' It seems that the idea of marriage, home, and family, (which I had recently indicated I would like to move ahead on), has caused her to revisit what she wants in life.

So, I ask her - "What do you want."

Answer - "I don't know."I don't want you, but we've been together for so long and I have it so good here that I'm having a difficult time letting go. I've met and been with plenty of guys who were great (in bed) but they weren't finacially secure enough for me to kick you to the curb. So here we sit, me feeling sorry for you but hating you all the same and desperately wanting my new boyfriend to work out. I just need you to STFU and let me be until my new boyfriends divorce is final and we can be together.

I have been clear from the start that I am in this for marriage, home, and a family. Now, she does not seem to know if she wants any part of this.

Ok, guys, what do I do here? Is it time to pull the chute and bail? Has the dread babe-done-went-nuts kicked in? Advice/comments welcome.



Prognosis: Cheating.
Remedy: Get the hell out. Or get resolution within the day. Relationships have good times and bad times, but she has obviosly checked out of yours. You are roommates now, only roommates. If you are truly in the relationship for the long haul then you are with the wrong gal and need to find one with similiar goals and ideas of what makes a successful relationship.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 6:06:42 PM EDT
Hit the slik.
Get out and walk.
Pull the striped handle.
Bail out.
Eject eject eject!
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 6:11:13 PM EDT

Originally Posted By RikWriter:

Originally Posted By wump:
CHEATING!!



Yep.



I'll be the third on this.

I heard all this shit before and everything you describe is VERY familiar.

I'd get out now.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 6:15:37 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 6:34:51 PM EDT
Run, Forrest! Run!



That was MY line!

Yeah, she is either cheating or thinking about it.

Confront her.

Help her pack.

Do not raise your voice, be understanding and nice, no matter how that tears you up.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 6:53:26 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 6:56:57 PM EDT

Originally Posted By BridgerNY:
She is cheating on you or thinking about it. Punch out.



sure as shit, been there and thats what it is
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 7:02:29 PM EDT


Hmm, the g/f of ten years...

I have been clear from the start that I am in this for marriage, home, and a family. Now, she does not seem to know if she wants any part of this.



You've been clear from the start that you want marriage, home, and family, but you've been together ten years and you haven't married yet?

That's probably enough for her to think about right there...
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 7:04:03 PM EDT
I agree with the others, it is a pretty text book situation that usually means she is cheating. Most everyone stays longer than they should in relationships. They realize this after they have gotten over the heart ache, when they can see and think clearer. It ain`t the end of the world, although it may feel like it now. Good luck.

We need a cheating forum, with lots of tacked threads and FAQs. lol
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 7:05:54 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Spade:
A relationship is not a F-14 Tomcat. It doesn't cost as much, isn't as cool, and you can't kill people with it. So in situations where you'd try and save the F-14, such as an engine failure, or a funny warning light, or odd feeling, in the same situation in a relationship you should grab that yellow and black handle and pull like hell.



funniest thing ive read all day! good post
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 7:06:17 PM EDT
Draw down on her and call Chuck Norriss for backup...
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 7:09:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By wump:
CHEATING!!



Yup.


Link Posted: 1/19/2006 7:17:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By BuckeyeRifleman:

Originally Posted By Spade:
A relationship is not a F-14 Tomcat. It doesn't cost as much, isn't as cool, and you can't kill people with it. So in situations where you'd try and save the F-14, such as an engine failure, or a funny warning light, or odd feeling, in the same situation in a relationship you should grab that yellow and black handle and pull like hell.



funniest thing ive read all day! good post




+1

Sorry as hell to hear about this, 10 years!

I have to agree with the peanut gallery here, the signs are there. I think I'll be the first to use the a football analogy.


"Well John, it looks like it's time for the home team to punt the ball away and start thinking about defense."



96Ag
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 7:24:43 PM EDT
punch out Hollywood, punch out!
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 7:25:06 PM EDT
Hold on now....


I was in a similar situation recently...


The repulsion at the thought of contact...

no pie for months...


The I DONT KNOW weepy talks...


She is FEARING that she is totally dependant upon you for EVERYTHING in her life. Love, food, sex, mental stimulation, rent, etc. She has reached the point where she can no longer even think of how she could live without you or how she lived before. That can be a terrifying realization for some people and they need some time to figure it out.

My wife needed some meds and a few good heart to hearts and some tears from both of us.

I basically told her that I feel the same way, that I could never ever live without her and that yes it freaked me out but I got over the moment I first saw her. It took her a few years longer and some Anti-depressants.



She could be cheating on you, or feeling like YOU don't value her, or she is FREAKING OUT because she accidently IDed herself as your WIFE to a coworker.

"Well my husband said that...... OH SHIT!!!!!!"

And a lil voice in her mind is screaming EJECT! EJECT! EJECT!



TALK TO HER NOW IF YOU VALUE HER AT ALL. bring a digital recorder that can record for 6 hours. So you don't end up in jail.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 7:34:20 PM EDT
Read This: www.nomarriage.com
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 7:37:00 PM EDT
10 years? You haven't married her?



Shit or get off the pot.
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