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Posted: 1/17/2006 8:11:07 PM EDT
I seem to bring out the worst of my colleagues. Guys I work with come down to my cubicle and cut some of the rankest, juiciest farts known to mankind. The worst attack comes when I'm on the phone and cannot leave.

Does anyone else have this problem?
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 8:13:37 PM EDT


wear one of these, maybe they'll take the hint:

Link Posted: 1/17/2006 8:14:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/17/2006 8:16:39 PM EDT by TheRedHorseman]
ah the joys of office chemical warfare

just watch out for the gay guys, they have "suppressed" farts
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 8:14:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By fossil_fuel:


wear one of these, maybe they'll take the hint:

www.liteweb.net/lycophile/multimedia/audio/gas_mask_b2.jpg



I'd take it as a challenge.
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 8:16:47 PM EDT
go do the same to them.
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 8:22:02 PM EDT
take a fat shit in their desk drawers.
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 8:25:38 PM EDT
sometimes.. buy paybacks are fun

I cleared out about a dozen people the one time I crop-dusted em

Link Posted: 1/17/2006 8:35:44 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/17/2006 8:41:03 PM EDT by Redcap]
I go from the shop (we have our own toilet) into the office and frequently use their shitter, then leave the door open and fan off. They seem to appreciate it.

Tomorrow, in light of this thread, I plan on upper decking it.
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 8:51:18 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Midnight-Sniper:
I seem to bring out the worst of my colleagues. Guys I work with come down to my cubicle and cut some of the rankest, juiciest farts known to mankind. The worst attack comes when I'm on the phone and cannot leave.

Does anyone else have this problem?



I don't "have" this problem.

I AM this problem.
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 9:00:36 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/17/2006 9:02:04 PM EDT by cnow]
Dude, we have fart wars.... see who can fart on each other when the other one isnt expecting it. And i work in a restaurant.


Usually it comes in the form of "Dude, i have to tell you something..." and BAM.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 4:35:06 PM EDT
im in the army, hell yes, it dont see it as a problem though, its more of a competition

i currently hold the gold medal, i actually made the 1sg puke in his mouth.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 8:20:49 PM EDT
I do it at work all the time. There's nothing more fun than "crop dusting" a fellow officer while he's standing post. You get to walk away, while he must stand there in your cloud of gas. It's priceless.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 8:52:38 PM EDT
They have cubicles in Idaho?
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 8:59:18 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 9:05:47 PM EDT
Hey, thats why farts smell, its now PC in the office.
So the Def workers are not left out.
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 10:05:40 PM EDT
I was in third rank while in formation and made my hardcore platoon SGT curse outloud.



not to mention all the other guys in the kill zonehug.gif
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 7:22:30 PM EDT
Dropped by a friend's office yesterday while he was on the phone and left a silent surprise for him. About five minutes after I left his office I received the following message on my Blackberry:

"You're rotted!"
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 7:31:00 PM EDT
I used to work with dry chemicals a lot, and had to wear a Ray-Cal air hood as part of my PPE. The air intake/filter unit was on a belt, so of coarse it was waist-level. Other people could sneak up behind you and let one rip by the intake, and it was taken through the unit and delivered via a flex hose directly to your face.
The result was the same if you let one, unless you could do it and then immediately walk away very quickly.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 7:36:49 PM EDT
If you can squeek out a silent one, call one of your coworkers to come look at this stuff on your keyboard while you sit right there in front of it or tell them to check out the fine print on your belt buckle.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 7:51:24 PM EDT
I have Lactose Intolerance...One tall glass of milk will sit in my gut and rot for 12 hours or more. The farts are continuous and paint peeling.

$1000/day + expenses and I can come be your own "shock and awe" campaign
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 7:53:41 PM EDT
we had wars at my last job. the worst i got is when i was kneeling down, and one of my coworkers snuck up next to me and ripped on right in my face. it was payback for me getting him about a dozen times the day before

and when i was selling shoes, we used to cropdust the customers. we'd see a customer making a mess, and take turns quickly walking by them after filling up with super nachos from taco cabana

i think the absolute worst is when you think you're alone, and you let one go, and a customer comes out of nowhere to ask you a question. most of the time they try to ignore it


i have a lot of stories about busting ass near other people. i hold the record right now after a night of drinking olde english and eating deviled eggs. i can clear out the entire first story of any house if the conditions are right
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 8:05:11 PM EDT
I don't usually do it intentionally, but catching people off guard is the best. My sophomore year of ROTC we went to an FTX at Ft. Chaffee. We had just come back from dinner and I was the first one into the barracks with the rest of the platoon behind me. As I walked through the door I let one go that surprised me. It seemed to go on forever and had a lot of volume to it. I could tell immediately it was pretty bad. I hadn't even gotten to my bunk when the rest of the platoon came in and walked through the trail I had left. Their reaction was beautiful.
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 8:09:23 PM EDT
It's also fun to let a silent one go right next to your wife in a store aisle, then quickly go to the other end and watch people glare at her.
(She hates that!)
Link Posted: 1/19/2006 8:19:44 PM EDT
A friend of mine works at a university and I go by to visit him at his office now and then. The last time I was there, as I was getting up to leave he pointed out the window to the hot young coed, who was one her way to his office. He went on to brag about how "tough" his job is having to talk to all the hotties every day. About 3 seconds before she reached his door, I dropped an eye watering bomb in his office and slipped out the back door. He looked like a deer in the headlights and stammered, "You son of a bitch."
Link Posted: 1/20/2006 4:11:02 AM EDT
Yes. There's 2 guys who fart all the time, and not little odorless ones either. I did manage to embarass them though. Asked "goddam, who brought in the Kimchee"? One guy asked what that was, I explained it, and he said "oh". The other guy just looked sheepish. I then said that someone ought to get to a doctor before he turns into a pile of goo.
Link Posted: 1/20/2006 5:03:51 AM EDT
We go to lunch as a group every so often, and one of the guys always likes to rip a SBD in the car we're in. I know who it is, but he never fess' up to it....


Link Posted: 1/20/2006 5:09:59 AM EDT
When still employed, I worked for a regional mechanical contractor, and occassionally was assigned to a construction project to run refrigeration lines. We had a certified welder who had the worst gas of any human being Ihave known. His favorite lunch was hard boild eggs and pickle juice..

I did not know such odors could originate in a human being. It REALLY takes something to clear a 12000 sq ft building of a bunch of construction plumbers...

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