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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:06:06 AM EDT
Who would win and why?
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:07:57 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/16/2006 9:08:20 AM EDT by rwinn625]
Chuck, because the only thing that can kill Chuck Norris is another Chuck Norris. And Jack Bauer is not Chuck Norris.
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:12:29 AM EDT
Jack Bauer would punch Chuck Norris in the face, then shoot him in the head...
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:14:51 AM EDT
better check your facts the term 10 feet tall and BULLETPROOF refers to Chuck Norris........
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:16:28 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:17:33 AM EDT
Jack Bauer....even without his Sig Sauer


Hey...I made a rhyme
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:18:00 AM EDT
Chuck did a trachea strike, Jack was choking to death, when he shott Chuck between the eyes. I say a draw.
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:18:11 AM EDT
JACK! with the wicked CUP AND SAUCER COMBAT GRIP!

Chuck Norris doesn't use that gay shit!
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:18:55 AM EDT
Chuck Norris is to Jack Bauer, as a Dummycrap is to a Republican. Need I say more?
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:19:00 AM EDT
Jack would beat Chuck one handed and then use his Microtech to scalp Chuck's beard.
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:19:49 AM EDT
Jack Bauer. He plays dirty. He hacked off a dude's head with a hacksaw for a lead on a case once! That's freaking brutal!
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:19:58 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Sandman67:
Jack Bauer....even without his Sig Sauer


Hey...I made a rhyme

yep, his new HK would give Chuck a bad day
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:22:22 AM EDT

Originally Posted By mjohn3006:
nullbits.foxxz.net/albums/Icons/jack.jpg



New background for my desktop. Thanks!
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:22:36 AM EDT
Chuck. Last time I check only Chuck could cure cancer with his tears and has never been beaten in a staring competition with a statue.
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:23:38 AM EDT
Chloe would tie Chuck up and make him feel bad to boot.

Jack would be off somewhere else, racking up bodies faster than the average housewife racks up credit card debt.



Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:25:54 AM EDT


Chuck, because Bauer doesn't have beard power
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:28:54 AM EDT

Originally Posted By LArifleMAN:
www.fantasfilm.com/image/d-chuck-norris-x.jpg

Chuck, because Bauer doesn't have beard power



Yeah, but Chuck's mullet cancels that out.
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:33:12 AM EDT

Originally Posted By triburst1:

Originally Posted By LArifleMAN:
www.fantasfilm.com/image/d-chuck-norris-x.jpg

Chuck, because Bauer doesn't have beard power



Yeah, but Chuck's mullet cancels that out.



No, no, no the mullet only enhances Chuck unholy roundhouse to the face fighting style.

Come on now, Bauer doesn't his own line of exercise equipment
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:33:44 AM EDT
Chuck Norris also works out on the Total Gym system. So physically Chuck has the advantage there too.

Wait.....can Chuck fly helicopters? Jack can.
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:34:16 AM EDT
the guy from the Transporter movies would kill Jack Bauer..............and Chuck would wipe both of them out
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:34:40 AM EDT

Originally Posted By triburst1:

Originally Posted By LArifleMAN:
www.fantasfilm.com/image/d-chuck-norris-x.jpg

Chuck, because Bauer doesn't have beard power



Yeah, but Chuck's mullet cancels that out.



Nothing can cancel out Chuck's beard.
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:37:11 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Merrell:
Chloe would tie Chuck up and make him feel bad to boot.

Jack would be off somewhere else, racking up bodies faster than the average housewife racks up credit card debt.






maybe someone needs to watch Delta Force again. He alone wiped out half a country. He just spared the other half so he would have fun the next day.
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:37:23 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Hokie:
Chuck Norris also works out on the Total Gym system. So physically Chuck has the advantage there too.

Wait.....can Chuck fly helicopters? Jack can.



what use would Chuck have for a helicopter? BTW, yes he can.
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:38:33 AM EDT

Originally Posted By LArifleMAN:

Originally Posted By triburst1:

Originally Posted By LArifleMAN:
www.fantasfilm.com/image/d-chuck-norris-x.jpg

Chuck, because Bauer doesn't have beard power



Yeah, but Chuck's mullet cancels that out.



No, no, no the mullet only enhances Chuck unholy roundhouse to the face fighting style.

Come on now, Bauer doesn't his own line of exercise equipment



Yes, but Kiefer was a professional bull rider for several years. A pissed off 1500 lb steak with horns is the ultimate exercise equipment.
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:39:02 AM EDT
chuck norris alone rescued more Vietnam POWs than were actually reported captured.
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:42:02 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Hokie:
Chuck Norris also works out on the Total Gym system. So physically Chuck has the advantage there too.

Wait.....can Chuck fly helicopters? Jack can.



Yes, Chuck can fly helicopters, but he doesn't need to because Chuck can FLY.
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:42:38 AM EDT
In the eyes of the CTU Agent
The unsuspecting terrorist better watch out
Cause the eyes of the CTU are behind you
So next time you're in LA
You better watch out cause that's where the CTU will be
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:44:39 AM EDT
It takes Jack Bauer 24 hours to stop the terrorists. Chuck Norris can do it in 24 seconds just by staring them down.



Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:50:20 AM EDT

yep, his new HK would give Chuck a bad day



Link Posted: 1/16/2006 9:50:37 AM EDT
DRAW!
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 10:00:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By g3shooter:
DRAW!



Link Posted: 1/16/2006 10:05:03 AM EDT
coin flip says: chuck norris
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 10:11:51 AM EDT

Originally Posted By demigod:
JACK! with the wicked CUP AND SAUCER COMBAT GRIP!

Chuck Norris doesn't use that gay shit!



Exactly right. He doesn't use the sights at all.
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 10:12:51 AM EDT

Originally Posted By triburst1:

Originally Posted By LArifleMAN:

Originally Posted By triburst1:

Originally Posted By LArifleMAN:
www.fantasfilm.com/image/d-chuck-norris-x.jpg

Chuck, because Bauer doesn't have beard power



Yeah, but Chuck's mullet cancels that out.



No, no, no the mullet only enhances Chuck unholy roundhouse to the face fighting style.

Come on now, Bauer doesn't his own line of exercise equipment



Yes, but Kiefer was a professional bull rider for several years. A pissed off 1500 lb steak with horns is the ultimate exercise equipment.



I think if you check it was team roping, not bull riding.

No knock on team ropers.......but is IS NOT bull riding.
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 11:01:10 AM EDT

Originally Posted By John_Wayne777:

Originally Posted By Hokie:
Chuck Norris also works out on the Total Gym system. So physically Chuck has the advantage there too.

Wait.....can Chuck fly helicopters? Jack can.



Yes, Chuck can fly helicopters, but he doesn't need to because Chuck can FLY.



shit...I forgot about that
Link Posted: 1/16/2006 11:09:58 AM EDT
Chuck whooped ass on Joe Piscopo in the 1992 smash hit "Sidekicks"

Do you think Jack has a chance with Chuck wearing these babies?

Link Posted: 1/27/2006 7:32:09 AM EDT

Originally Posted By triburst1:

Originally Posted By LArifleMAN:
www.fantasfilm.com/image/d-chuck-norris-x.jpg

Chuck, because Bauer doesn't have beard power


Yeah, but Chuck's mullet cancels that out.


Did Samson's mullet cancel out his superhuman strength? No, it was the living embodiment of it.
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 7:33:52 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ALPHAGHOST:
coin flip says: chuck norris


Magic 8 Ball says: "All signs point to Chuck Norris."

Link Posted: 2/17/2006 7:00:14 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 7:01:40 PM EDT
Chuck could take that punk out with 1/2 of a boiled egg fart.

Danny
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 7:05:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Hokie:
Chuck Norris also works out on the Total Gym system. So physically Chuck has the advantage there too.

Wait.....can Chuck fly helicopters? Jack can.



LMAO Total Gym system..............Good one Hokie!

Chucky be to busy looking at himself in the mirror. Dude can't act worth a shit either. Condella Rice kick his ass.
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 7:06:44 PM EDT
seriously....does anyone really think Chuck can even hoist Jack's jock?
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 7:08:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By mjohn3006:
nullbits.foxxz.net/albums/Icons/jack.jpg




+1 ROFL

CHUCK IS ALL POWERFUL...BUT JACK BOWER WOULD CUT HIS EYE LIDS OFF IN A HEARTBEAT!!!
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 7:08:55 PM EDT
Jack, because Chuck is a broken-down has-been.
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 7:09:58 PM EDT
Who's Jack Bauer?
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 7:13:42 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/17/2006 7:19:11 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ilikelegs:
xzodus.com/gifs/norris.gif



Man thats sweet. Chuck wins!!
Link Posted: 2/18/2006 5:12:33 AM EDT
Neither. Bruce will return to kick both of their asses (again in Chuck's case)!


Link Posted: 2/18/2006 5:26:49 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/18/2006 5:28:18 AM EDT
Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.


Link Posted: 2/18/2006 5:29:29 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/18/2006 5:30:57 AM EDT by Zaphod]

Originally Posted By ilikelegs:
xzodus.com/gifs/norris.gif





BRILLIANT!


Just remember, "Chuck Norris" is ancient Aztec for "I got my ass kicked by Jack Bauer. 50 times. In 24 hours."
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