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Posted: 1/12/2006 8:29:27 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/12/2006 8:45:42 PM EDT by hanau]
I have a disabled son and lately I been thinking about his future allot after me and my wife are gone.

Just trying to figure out how I take care of him financially when me and the wife are gone.
We both have life insurance and 401k plans.

I have a daughter (8) that is 4 years younger than him (12).but don't want her to have to take care of him for the rest of her or his life.
Just need some advice how to plan for his future.

He has a mild form of cerbal palsy he walks mainly uses crutches but learning the basic stuff can be hard for him. Reading is a major problem but scores perfect on spelling. Has a very good memory, loves doing stuff with his hand.

We worry about him being able to support him self and not relying on the government or his sister.

Thanks


Edit: sent it thru word spell checker happy
Link Posted: 1/12/2006 8:35:34 PM EDT
I really hate to be a dick, but... disabled.
Link Posted: 1/12/2006 8:41:41 PM EDT
I think its called a special needs trust. I'll have to look it up though.
I'll post more on this tomorrow night.
Link Posted: 1/12/2006 8:46:04 PM EDT
thanks
Link Posted: 1/12/2006 8:57:24 PM EDT
Michael,

We also have a "disabled" child. Our 4th child has a severe heart defect and many GI complications.

The oldest living person with his defect is now in their early 20s so the future is really unknown to us.

We do not qualify for any programs....seems we make just enough not to qualify but not enough to pay all his medical bills.

We try not to think about the future and just take it one day at a time. And every day, enjoy his LIFE!!

My honest advice is to try not to worry about it. We have cashed in everything to pay the medical bills so there is nothing left.....but hospitals can't refuse to treat.

We do have three older children and they could possibly help our son and oversee his care if something should happen to us. That being said, I don't think they would ever look at their brother as a hindrance. They love him so.

He will most likely need a heart transplant and then the bills would really go wild.....but again, I just try not to worry and enjoy every day we have with him.

Keep in touch with all the charities that can help. We have received help from Children's Miracle Network and also the Ronald McDonald House charities. Keep checking on the help that can come from medicaid. Each state is different. For example, our son qualifies as disabled, but our state goes on income.....some states do not go by income and offer help no matter what your circumstance.

Bottom line is....enjoy your son for every moment you have him. Don't worry about the bills.

Don't know if this was helpful....but we KNOW where you are coming from.

Mrs. Ekie
Link Posted: 1/12/2006 9:06:04 PM EDT
Otar is pointing you in the right direction, you need to check into a special needs trust. Looks like there are several types to choose from.

My older sister is completely disabled with cerebral palsy as far as caring for herself, and I will do everything I can to take care of her when her care becomes my responsibility, I am looking into a trust for her.
Link Posted: 1/12/2006 9:10:15 PM EDT
Will he not be able to get some kind of a job or are you worring about his physical needs in his older years?

Surely there is a job for him out there somewhere when he gets old enough.
Link Posted: 1/12/2006 9:21:35 PM EDT
Thanks Mrs. Ekie,

We have been lucky that we have had good company insurance and all medical bills have been take care of, with little to no out of pocket expense. The wife and I both care coverage on the family.

His cerbal palsy isn't that serve, it hurts is learning abilities and legs. So his future after we are gone is the biggest scare after we are dead.

and reading thru the special need trust is a good thing that I will search more, just printed out some stuff and put it the wife’s purse so she will see it when she gets to work.


We do enjoy our time together.


Link Posted: 1/12/2006 9:25:51 PM EDT
My son is autistic. He is pretty high functioning but still has some very severe social discrepancies. I too worry about his future, especially if something happened to me. I did get him qualified for Social Security this year. The money he draws in going to his college fund. He should be able to do well in college, especially any left brain type field [math, science etc].

When my son was younger [he's 16 now] he was very low functioning. I was told he would never graduate from high school or marry, leave home but I didn't believe them. I kept working with him as if he was 'typical' and its paid off. He probably won't graduate from High School [crazy school regulations demand that he has 2 years of Spanish which would be nearly impossible for him to do] but he's doing pretty well.

Also don't count your daughter out of the picture. We are put in roles for a reason. She may or maynot want to accept more responsibilities for her brother as she gets older. Time will tell but a brother is never to be looked at as a burden.

Best wishes, Patty
Link Posted: 1/12/2006 9:28:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Pangea:
Will he not be able to get some kind of a job or are you worring about his physical needs in his older years?

Surely there is a job for him out there somewhere when he gets old enough.



Financial needs the most.
I have no doubt about him getting a job.
But if he is unable to get a job, that he will be able to have a life above poverty. I want a financial back up so he doesn't have to be getting the few hindered dollar a month from the government. Then still be in poverty.

Physical needs I do not worry alot about he gets around good and adapts on getting to place and doing stuff
.

Link Posted: 1/12/2006 9:29:43 PM EDT
Have you asked him what he plans to do when he grows up? He is really no different then the rest of your children. I went to school and grew up with guys that were straight A students and gifted athletes, some of them are worthless at taking care of themselves. A disability will of course impact him, but will it prevent him from taking care of himself? Help him as much as you can and then allow him the space to grow up and deal with the world on his own terms. It may be rough to worry about watching him fail, but watching him succeed will blow that away.
Link Posted: 1/12/2006 9:40:38 PM EDT
Cop or a fireman is his choice and we tell him he can be what ever he wants to be.

We let him do pretty much what he wants. He played t-ball for a few years. Till he got to old to play.
He wanted to play baseball, but he is unable to hit a thrown pitch and it is not fair for the other children.

But he is in boy scouts and last year he went to summer camp by himself and is cousin.
And did almost everything the other kids did.
Only thing he really didn't get to do was the hiking. It was safety concern of the camp. Due to having to be able to go over some of the terrain.

Some people may think it is cruel he is not treated no different than my daughter. Same punishments all around.
He is told he did well and we will let him make mistakes and learn from them.
Link Posted: 1/12/2006 9:50:04 PM EDT
Then he is good to go. Just get some life insurance for you and the wife and move on from there.
Link Posted: 1/12/2006 10:08:02 PM EDT
He looks like a fine young man to me! Too bad you afflicted him with the shooting bug though. Now he's going to be tortured by the same decisions as the rest of us. Food or ammo, ammo or food? You oughta be horsewhipped!
Link Posted: 1/13/2006 6:00:17 PM EDT
Cute kid!
Looks like you got the info to get started.
My daughter has Downs, and although she qualifies for SSI she doesnt get it until she gets 18. Its funny, when I was married she got SSI. Now that I'm a single parent she doesn't. I make too much money.
Thats when I figured that the only person that was going to watch out for her well being was me.
I'm still working on setting up a special needs trust for her. Hopefully by the end of the year it will all be in place.
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