Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Posted: 1/9/2006 7:18:10 PM EDT
I was eating dinner with some of the upper belts from my dojang tonight when I noticed Chuck Norris being interviewed on one of the bar TVs. It was on Fox. Then a few minutes later there was another interview with Chuck and his wife on the TV behind us that was on CNBC.

Someone commented that Chuck's wife has nice large breasts. I said no, that is just where Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her in the back.

Somehow Chuck didn't hear me and kick through the television screens.
Link Posted: 1/9/2006 7:19:52 PM EDT
He heard you. He's just waiting for the right time.
Link Posted: 1/9/2006 7:20:42 PM EDT

Link Posted: 1/9/2006 7:24:37 PM EDT
That's why I always carry a can on spinach around. In case I need to fend off the Chuck.
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 5:48:42 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Roland_O_Gilead:
I was eating dinner with some of the upper belts from my dojang tonight when I noticed Chuck Norris being interviewed on one of the bar TVs. It was on Fox. Then a few minutes later there was another interview with Chuck and his wife on the TV behind us that was on CNBC.

Someone commented that Chuck's wife has nice large breasts. I said no, that is just where Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her in the back.

Somehow Chuck didn't hear me and kick through the television screens.




Forget Chuck. Post pics of his wife and her large...........
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 5:50:06 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Yankee1911:
He heard you. He's just waiting for the right time.



Chuck will come when you least expect it!

BigDozer66
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 5:54:24 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Roland_O_Gilead:
I was eating dinner with some of the upper belts from my dojang tonight when I noticed Chuck Norris being interviewed on one of the bar TVs. It was on Fox. Then a few minutes later there was another interview with Chuck and his wife on the TV behind us that was on CNBC.

Someone commented that Chuck's wife has nice large breasts. I said no, that is just where Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her in the back.

Somehow Chuck didn't hear me and kick through the television screens.



That wasn't really Chuck.

That was a highly lifelike android that looks like Chuck.

If Chuck were to really appear on multiple screens at the same time in a bar, the heads of everyone in the bar would explode as their internal organs were liquified.

Link Posted: 1/10/2006 6:28:37 AM EDT


Quick, where is The_MacAllan with his anim gif from Scanners where the news reporter's head explodes!?!
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 6:29:30 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Yankee1911:
He heard you. He's just waiting for the right time.



...and he did NOT like that comment.

HH
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 6:45:27 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Yankee1911:
He heard you. He's just waiting for the right time.



If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 6:59:30 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Daytona955i:
That's why I always carry a can on spinach around. In case I need to fend off the Chuck.



Does that work?
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:02:07 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/10/2006 7:13:07 AM EDT by WyattEarp]

Somehow Chuck didn't hear me......



That's what you think. He always hear's you.
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:10:16 AM EDT

Originally Posted By xinflt:

Originally Posted By Daytona955i:
That's why I always carry a can on spinach around. In case I need to fend off the Chuck.



Does that work?



only if "spinach" is a codename for Vin Diesel.

when attacked by Chuck, open your can of Vin Diesel.

a can of Vin Diesel does not have the ability to defend against Chuck, but Chuck will laugh at your puny attempt.

if the sound of his laugh doesn't cause your head to spontaneously explode, it will have given you enough time to escape.

of course, it is possible that Chuck only wants your virginity.

Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:10:30 AM EDT
Chuck Norris will be on the Tony Danza show in a few minutes...Tony has some old school boxing skills and he just might be able to show old Chuck "Whose the Boss"
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:16:30 AM EDT

Originally Posted By VoodooChile:
Chuck Norris will be on the Tony Danza show in a few minutes...Tony has some old school boxing skills and he just might be able to show old Chuck "Whose the Boss"




I'm predicting a roundhouse kick to the head.
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:18:41 AM EDT

Originally Posted By vanilla_gorilla:

Originally Posted By VoodooChile:
Chuck Norris will be on the Tony Danza show in a few minutes...Tony has some old school boxing skills and he just might be able to show old Chuck "Whose the Boss"




I'm predicting a roundhouse kick to the head.



+1

Chuck Norris and Tony Danza mentioned in the same sentence?
Voodoo is playing with fire.
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:19:48 AM EDT

Originally Posted By vanilla_gorilla:

Originally Posted By VoodooChile:
Chuck Norris will be on the Tony Danza show in a few minutes...Tony has some old school boxing skills and he just might be able to show old Chuck "Whose the Boss"


I'm predicting a roundhouse kick to the head.


Followed by the taunt:

"Who's the Boss, now, Bitch?!?"



(like from Happy Gilmore: "The Price is Wrong......... Bitch!")
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:26:04 AM EDT
Chuck who?
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:27:57 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dog1:
Chuck who?



Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:28:45 AM EDT
I love Chuck Norris threads
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:28:57 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dog1:
Chuck who?



hope your insurance covers Chuck-related death
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:29:58 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/10/2006 7:30:45 AM EDT by Dog1]

Originally Posted By vanilla_gorilla:

Originally Posted By Dog1:
Chuck who?






Wait..he's that one on the infomercials...with the bad hair...right?

Less acting ability than a fence post...right?

Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:33:54 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/10/2006 7:36:14 AM EDT by John_Wayne777]

Originally Posted By VoodooChile:
Chuck Norris will be on the Tony Danza show in a few minutes...Tony has some old school boxing skills and he just might be able to show old Chuck "Whose the Boss"



Tony Danza will not be seeing Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris will be sending his highly realistic android to visit the Tony Danza show because Chuck's Aura of Chuckness is so powerful that even a moment's exposure would cause Danza to spontaneously burst into flames.

There would also be the multiple screen phenomenon as everyone who was watching the Tony Danza on television would have the same thing happen to them as the bar flies would, though Chuck has remarked that those who are retarded enough to watch Tony Danza's show deserve such a fate.

Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:34:57 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dog1:
Wait..he's that one on the infomercials...with the bad hair...right?

Less acting ability than a fence post...right?




Shh! Listen real carefully to your surroundings......

What you don't hear is Teh Chuck! coming to kill you.
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:35:09 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dog1:

Originally Posted By vanilla_gorilla:

Originally Posted By Dog1:
Chuck who?






Wait..he's that one on the infomercials...with the bad hair...right?

Less acting ability than a fence post...right?





It's been nice knowing you. I'll be sure that "roundhouse kick" is put as the correct cause of death, since I doubt we'll find all of your body.
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:37:04 AM EDT

Originally Posted By vanilla_gorilla:
It's been nice knowing you. I'll be sure that "roundhouse kick" is put as the correct cause of death, since I doubt we'll find all of your body.



Hell, when Teh Chuck! gets done with his sorry rear end, we will be able to bury him in a thimble.
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:37:25 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/10/2006 7:38:25 AM EDT by Dog1]

Originally Posted By John_Wayne777:

Originally Posted By Dog1:
Wait..he's that one on the infomercials...with the bad hair...right?

Less acting ability than a fence post...right?




Shh! Listen real carefully to your surroundings......

What you don't hear is Teh Chuck! coming to kill you.



My 7 year old can deal with Chuck...he's old, wrinkly and well..just not that smart..

I'll sleep well tonight knowing that my son's hamster can take Chuckie out...

He's a wanker..not the hamster..Chuck..
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:39:16 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dog1:
My 7 year old can deal with Chuck...he's old, wrinkly and well..just not that smart..

I'll well tonight knowing that my son's hamster can take Chuckie out...



Chuck is no longer coming to kill you.

He has a much worse fate in mind for you now.

Remember one of the great facts about Teh Chuck!

"Chuck Norris doesn't have aids, but he gives it to people anyway..."

The eyes of the Ranger are upon YOU....
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:40:19 AM EDT
Chuck Norris has AIDS?

I always though he was a little light in the loafers..
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:52:06 AM EDT
Chuck has already killed you. You just don't know it yet.
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:53:12 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dog1:
Chuck Norris has AIDS?



No, he doesn't have AIDS, but he can give it to you anyway.

That's just how bad he is.


Link Posted: 1/10/2006 7:59:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By John_Wayne777:

Originally Posted By Dog1:
Chuck Norris has AIDS?



No, he doesn't have AIDS, but he can give it to you anyway.

That's just how bad he is.





What? No..you have to have it to give it...

Poor Chuck..he looks good for having AIDS..
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 8:00:01 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/10/2006 8:00:01 AM EDT by 82ndAbn]
duplicate topic
Top Top