It's been long enough and I'm so tired that I can't remember, exactly, except that it was a mutual decision after about 6 months.  We're now coming up on 29 years and we choose to stay married every day.

What Patty said is true, you have to remember the commitment and I would add, to build on it little by little.  

The only piece of "advice," such as it is, is to remember that a marraige doesn't occur at the ceremony, or just because of time put in, but is built over time.  

With the right partner, commitment and a little luck you can build a sound marraige. With an uncommitted partner in the relationship it will usually go wrong.  Too many stressors (too much "bad luck") can make it very difficult as well, as Patty points out.

Just what works for us.

Best Regards,

Rick

Quoted: I'm seeing a common theme here.  The guys who married within a few months of dating have been togather for a long time as apposed to those who dated till the cows came home.  Any theories?   I'm on my 4th date, been talking for almost two months.  Unfortunately she's two hours away.  I think I'll know rather quickly if she's someone I'll pop the question to.  We're both divorced (in our 30's) and have a LOT in common thus far.  We both know what we're looking for.  She's a sharp cookie, has a great career and is willing to have my children!

Seems like most of those who date for less than a year and pop the question "know" or have their minds made up that this woman is the one for them. Others who pussyfoot around (NOT ALL) seem to take a whole lot of time before convincing themselves. And if you have to convince yourself, then the happiness doesnt last. *shrugs* just my observation.

We lived in sin for 2 years before I asked
Happily married for 17 years in May

Quoted: So how long did you date your girlfriend before you popped the big question?

Not long enough. Marry in haste, repent at leisure.

6 months, married about 6 months beyond that

22 years later, still happily married

Quoted: Three years, but I did give her a promise ring after three months. (I was so young.)

All I could afford was the "pull tab" from one of those cartons of orange juice that looks like this:



I could tell she didn't believe me, but I told her it was a "ring guard/protector".  IOW, when she finally got her ring, she could wear this to protect it from dings.

She humored me by wearing it until I could get her a "real" ring.  I'm sure it has nothing to do with the dearth of hummers these days...........

I lived with her for about 14 months, then i proposed. We got married a year later.

5 years

First we went on a date, then every night for two weeks, then we moved in together. We lived together for 5 years, bought a house and got married. That lasted 3 years. That was 8+ years ago.
I'm smart enough not to do that again.

Pretty sure after about 6 months asked the question at the about 2 year point, was about another 3 years till we both were out of college.  Married shortly after she graduated and it's been just shy of 29 years.

I think too many folks fall in lust and not in love and jump way too fast.  It takes a while to find out if all the other things that need to mesh mesh.  To be blunt, just both being whizbangs in the sack, on the sofa, in the kitchen, and car ain't enough.

Like it or not you are marrying each others families, political views, hobbies, interests, etc.  There is a hell of a lot of stuff that builds and makes the whole person, and if the wholes don't mesh, you likely aren't going to make it. People don't change all that much after marriage and going in ignorant or hoping to change things is not predictive of long term good times.

For example say you like guns and dogs and hunting, and after a whirlwind romance, you get hitched.  In 6 more months, you tell her "deer season starts in two weeks I have to get my stand and scent," and she says "WTF you can't kill a deer around me you brute!!"  It's a little late to find out then that she tolerated the guns and a little range time but she comes from a family that has hated hunting since before she was born.