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Posted: 1/6/2006 2:21:26 PM EDT
NOTE: Your beating will not change the course of history. This is just for your satisfaction and because they deserve it.

Had to put that in large type because someone always posts after only reading the thread title.

Here's the scenario:

God comes to you and says "For being such a great person, I'm going to give you the ability to hand out punishment for me. You can pick one person from history that really deserves a beating. I'll put you and them in the same room and let you go to work."

Your beating will not change the course of human history. It is solely to allow you to mete out punishment on someone who deserves it.

So who do you pick and why?
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:22:53 PM EDT
A Hitler beating would be entertaining.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:22:59 PM EDT
Abe Lincoln. Skinny guys fight till their burger.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:23:22 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:24:11 PM EDT
+1000 on the hitler beating
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:28:30 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2006 2:29:14 PM EDT by PBIR]
That guy that boned the green monkey in africa and brought the '70's loving to a screeching halt via AIDS. Thanks for ruining it for the rest of us you primate humper~!
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:29:17 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2006 2:29:48 PM EDT by MEI2757935]
All of the animals i've ever come across!





Edit for spelling.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:29:31 PM EDT
Tommy Castalano, fat kid that gave me a black eye when I was 8 years old. On my way home from school, swinging my school bag, didn't know he was behind me and I swung back too far. When I turned around to see what I hit, wham...right in the left eye with his metal Batman lunch box. When my mom took me to his house and demanded an apology, little puke wouldn't even come to the door.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:30:48 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tarebaby:
Tommy Castalano, fat kid that gave me a black eye when I was 8 years old. On my way home from school, swinging my school bag, didn't know he was behind me and I swung back too far. When I turned around to see what I hit, wham...right in the left eye with his metal Batman lunch box. When my mom took me to his house and demanded an apology, little puke wouldn't even come to the door.



Sound like you shouldn;t have been swinging your school bag.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:35:51 PM EDT
I think Sean Hannity could use a good azz kickin. I'd be happy just to have a chance at breaking off
a piece of his helmet hair.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:36:42 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2006 2:37:12 PM EDT by XD_Fan]
I already beat the crap out of the people I wanted to growing up. Generally after they made the mistake of not letting me walk away.

I have to admit kicking the crap out of Hitler has a real appeal. Or J. Edgar Hoover.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:37:06 PM EDT
Guy I went to high school with, Jim, who raped a friend of mine(took her virginity).
I broke his arm and put him in the hospital for a couple of days then. I would love to do it again.
Pat
0-1-25
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:39:09 PM EDT
Jimmy Carter, just because he's got a face I'd love to pound on
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:41:53 PM EDT
Mohammed for inventing the ROP
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:42:56 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tarebaby:
Tommy Castalano, fat kid that gave me a black eye when I was 8 years old. On my way home from school, swinging my school bag, didn't know he was behind me and I swung back too far. When I turned around to see what I hit, wham...right in the left eye with his metal Batman lunch box. When my mom took me to his house and demanded an apology, little puke wouldn't even come to the door.



Didn't you hear? Tommy "the lunch box" Castalano eventually moved up through the ranks and became a highly respected and feared capo in the NYC mob.

I don't care what God says or lets you do. I'd fuggeda about Tommy if I were you.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:43:40 PM EDT

Originally Posted By PBIR:
That guy that boned the green monkey in africa and brought the '70's loving to a screeching halt via AIDS. Thanks for ruining it for the rest of us you primate humper~!



That's a good one...

Tag
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:44:00 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:48:51 PM EDT
micheal crook, oh wait i can do that one right now. If i could go back in time i would kick the crao out of Arafat.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:49:20 PM EDT
There are many but I have to say Tim Treadwell. I just watched Grizzly Man and if anyone derserved a thumping it would be him. He was one annoying stupid asshole.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:54:29 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2006 2:59:40 PM EDT by PBIR]

Originally Posted By Retched_Rick:
There are many but I have to say Tim Treadwell. I just watched Grizzly Man and if anyone derserved a thumping it would be him. He was one annoying stupid asshole.



The bears felt the same way & handled your work for you.



Day 3

Dear Diary,

...damn he's a jackass but if I eat him the rangers are going to cap me




Day 6

Dear Diary,

... He's getting on my nerves more and more each day, and yet I fear to do much more than poop on his sleeping bag lest I get shot. Still, my patience is being severly worked. And I have fleas.




Day 15

Dear Diary,


...the hippie bastard called me snookums and then the annoying butt pirate sang little songs to me like I'm some fookin schoolkid while I was trying to catch some salmon.I'm going to eat him. To hell with it.

Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:55:40 PM EDT
Um, myself, before I made some of the stupid decisions I have made...
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:55:57 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2006 2:56:26 PM EDT by DK-Prof]

I'd think I'd give myself at 12 or 13 a good beating, and tell me to pull my act together.

I'm sure I would learn a valuable lesson.




Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:58:11 PM EDT
Jesus Christ
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:00:31 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Zakk_Wylde_470:
Jesus Christ



I've got $5,000 on the Messiah in round one.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:01:34 PM EDT
Attila the Hun. Just so I could say I kicked his ass.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:02:20 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Zakk_Wylde_470:
Jesus Christ


Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:02:44 PM EDT
I'd like to lay a beatdown on Karl Marx with Joe Stalin's severed head.

Yeah I know I stretched the rules a little, but you know...

Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:03:22 PM EDT
I refuse to answer because when I do beat the shit out of the scum bag......
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:04:58 PM EDT
Ghandi
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:05:11 PM EDT

Originally Posted By PBIR:

Originally Posted By Zakk_Wylde_470:
Jesus Christ



I've got $5,000 on the Messiah in round one.




I got $10k that Peter will slice his ear off before JC gets out of the corner.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:10:30 PM EDT
Rosie O'Donnel , Tom Cruise ,and Barbara Streisand. I would be Moe and the others would get their asses beat "stooge style"

I know the rule was that we could pick only be one but i'd get right back in line till i'm done.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:12:18 PM EDT
Sherman
Beat him down and let the women and children finish him off
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:15:10 PM EDT
The writers and signers of the 1934 NFA and 68 gun act. And Hitler/Stalin/Mao.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:15:14 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Zakk_Wylde_470:
Jesus Christ


Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:21:46 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Zakk_Wylde_470:
Jesus Christ



theres a loose cannon site staff thats going to ban you for that one
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:21:48 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Inatree:
Sherman
Beat him down and let the women and children finish him off



William Techumseh Sherman?

Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:22:59 PM EDT
Mike Moore.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:23:47 PM EDT
ONE Person?








There are so many people I'd love to, as the phrase used to go, bend, fold, staple, spindle and mutilate just to get warmed up!
And I'm not talking about Anti's and Democrats either!
There was this one crud-hopper in Basic…..
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:24:39 PM EDT
Do we get some warmup time on someone else? You know, politicians or the like?
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:24:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:
Mike Moore.

Leave some for the rest....Wait a minute. Scratch that. There's plenty of him to go around.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:25:32 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:27:56 PM EDT
FDR; I figure I could take a cripple.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:29:38 PM EDT

Originally Posted By junker46:

Originally Posted By Zakk_Wylde_470:
Jesus Christ



theres a loose cannon site staff thats going to ban you for that one



So being anti-religion is against the CoC now? Interesting
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:29:43 PM EDT
Easy.

Former employer's wife.

Would it be OK if I used a package of hot dog buns so it take a loooooong time?
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:30:57 PM EDT
Schumer ...
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:31:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By PBIR:
That guy that boned the green monkey in africa and brought the '70's loving to a screeching halt via AIDS. Thanks for ruining it for the rest of us you primate humper~!



+1-also, the name karl marx comes to mind
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:31:48 PM EDT
Place all of the arrogant lying lawyers and judges in a row peter to butt with slick willie at the end of the line. And in one swoop put both feet up all of their candy asses.

I'd be hip deep in asses.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:33:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By dajini:

Originally Posted By Inatree:
Sherman
Beat him down and let the women and children finish him off



William Techumseh Sherman?




oh yeah, i forgot about him....his suffering would be legendary....
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 4:08:49 PM EDT
LBJ
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 4:09:46 PM EDT
Jane Fonda
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 4:52:48 PM EDT
I'll put here the same thing I put on the Pat Roberston post (the guy who asserts that Sharon's stroke is the result of some devine punishment for dividing the holy land). This guy is my pick. Not only does he have no grasp of geo-politics, but simple cause and effect relationships also seem to ellude him. So yeah, he needs as ass kicking...
(PUNCH) "Where's your Messiah now?!?!" (KICK)
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