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Posted: 12/25/2005 3:17:54 PM EDT
Breaking News: Pilot of Air Cargo Carrier Reports Surface to Air Missile Fired at Transport Aircraft


FBI Claims Pilot Saw Bottle Rocket - FBI, CIA, NTSB Say "No Connection to Terrorism"


24 December 2005; 11:50 PM EST: The pilot of an air cargo transport carrier that departed from the Arctic Circle early this afternoon en route to various locations in North America reported that a missile or rocket had been fired at the craft shortly after takeoff. The specialized carrier was at an altitude of 5,000 feet and climbing when the pilot observed a "missile" that was quickly closing in on his transport. A tragedy was avoided only by the installation and use of a classified anti-missile system installed on the cargo carrier in late 2001. Radio transmissions between the air cargo carrier and the airport, monitored by the Northeast Intelligence Network, revealed tense moments aboard the aircraft. The pilot, however, reported that the deployment of the anti-missile system worked and that the missile missed its intended target.

The pilot, identified as Christopher Kringle, reported the sighting to the air traffic control center at Boston Logan International Airport and was instructed to immediately land his craft. As soon as all applicable federal agencies were notified, the FBI immediately assumed jurisdiction over the investigation and were quick to issue a statement while en-route to debrief the pilot, saying that there was no evidence whatsoever of any link to terrorism. FBI spokesman Ebenezer S. Crooge, talking to a number of reporters in a hastily arranged news conference conducted in the parking lot of the federal sensitivity training facility in the former Toys-R-Us store, located midway between the FBI office and Boston Logan, assured reporters that the pilot observed a flare or bottle rocket and the cargo craft was never in any danger. He also stressed that there is absolutely no evidence of any link to terrorism. All of the reporters present nodded in acceptance of the explanation as they studiously transcribed the statement, finding no need to ask any follow-up questions.

After advising Mr. Kringle and his crew of what they saw and confiscating all air traffic data from the airport, the authorities permitted the craft to continue on to its multiple destinations, but not before citing the pilot for the illegal possession and transportation of "a cache of new hunting rifles and related gear," which the pilot explained were gifts for out-of-state residents. After assessing the situation, federal authorities permitted Kringle to continue on his flight with all of the cargo, although warned him that he would not be able to issue any public comment about the incident as it would be considered an ongoing investigation for the foreseeable future.

Several eyewitnesses to the incident came forward and provided detailed reports to federal investigators, although they were summarily dismissed as hysterical and unreliable in a follow-up statement by FBI spokesman Ebenezer S. Crooge.


Link Posted: 12/25/2005 3:18:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/25/2005 3:18:57 PM EDT by Phil_A_Steen]
ho ho ho
Link Posted: 12/25/2005 3:53:06 PM EDT
A bottle rocket at 5000 feet? mhmm...

If the countermeasures activated themselves (I'm assuming it was an IR laser) then its because the system detected that the threat was flying towards the aircraft
Link Posted: 12/25/2005 3:58:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By mcantu:
A bottle rocket at 5000 feet? mhmm...

If the countermeasures activated themselves (I'm assuming it was an IR laser) then its because the system detected that the threat was flying towards the aircraft



Yeah, an aircraft flown on Christmas Eve by "Christopher Kringle..."
Link Posted: 12/25/2005 4:09:19 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/25/2005 4:09:43 PM EDT by ARDunstan]
.
Link Posted: 12/25/2005 4:16:57 PM EDT

Originally Posted By mcantu:
A bottle rocket at 5000 feet? mhmm...

If the countermeasures activated themselves (I'm assuming it was an IR laser) then its because the system detected that the threat was flying towards the aircraft



Yeah, it sounded real to me, too...

Link Posted: 12/25/2005 4:19:35 PM EDT
Link Posted: 12/25/2005 4:30:21 PM EDT
Good one.
Link Posted: 12/25/2005 6:42:32 PM EDT
tag
Link Posted: 12/25/2005 6:54:06 PM EDT
ha ha ha

Link Posted: 12/25/2005 7:03:25 PM EDT
Thanks for posting that. I did some of the software development on the REAAMS(*) antimissile system while at Boering; it's nice to know it worked!


(*) Reindeer Excrement Anti-Antiaircraft Missile System
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