Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Arrow Left Previous Page
Page / 2
Posted: 12/22/2005 6:54:07 AM EDT
I was lucky enough to trap one earlier this week, and have the carcase on ice right now. I think Stealth and I are going to try a nice Vacuum marinade on it. I believe he is going to grill it again this year. And I hope he does not burn it like last year.

Have any of you had assmonkey in a dish? I have only had it as a single steak. Would it be good used in a chili, or a stew?

Link Posted: 12/22/2005 6:55:32 AM EDT
My wife uses it in stew occasionally.

Tastes like shit!
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 6:58:06 AM EDT
WTF?!?!?
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 6:59:37 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Buzz70:
My wife uses it in stew occasionally.

Tastes like shit!



That's what were finding out.. I guess the key is in the marinade. You have to let it set or it just tastes like shit!
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:09:40 AM EDT
Slow-cooker with a package of onion soup and 1/2 c. of wine or broth and a garlic clove or six.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:11:17 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/22/2005 7:11:59 AM EDT by DDiggler]
Make sure you get it good and clean, you don't want to taint it.

Garnish with a handful of chocolate starfish and dingleberries. Serve with a bowl of leather Cheerio's.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:13:46 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/22/2005 7:18:13 AM EDT by Buzz70]
I think this thread may be going downhill...
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:15:06 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/22/2005 7:16:40 AM EDT by GryphonX]

Originally Posted By Fat_McNasty:
Have any of you had assmonkey in a dish? I have only had it as a single steak. Would it be good used in a chili, or a stew?




I do not like AssMonkey in a dish
I do not like them
Sam, I am

I do not like AssMonkey here or there
I do not like AssMonkey anywhere
I do not like AssMonkey in a boat
I would not, could not, eat AssMonkey with a goat

I will not eat AssMonkey in the rain
I do not like AssMonkey on a train
I do not like AssMonkey in a box
I will not eat AssMonkey with a fox

I do not like AssMonkey in a house
I would not, could not, eat AssMonkey with a side of mouse
I do not like AssMonkey in a dish
I do not like AssMonkey
Sam, I am

AssMonkey in a chili..... ?
AssMonkey in a stew..... ?
I don't like AssMonkey .... no thank you!
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:17:01 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/22/2005 7:17:24 AM EDT by DDiggler]

Originally Posted By Buzz70:
I think this thread may be goind downhill...



Impossible.

It was started at an all-time low.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:19:56 AM EDT
Assmonkey, Assmonkey
Wherever I go, he goes
My Assmonkey and me, will climb a tree
My Assmonkey and me, will do most everything
Assmonkey, Assmonkey
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:20:46 AM EDT

Originally Posted By GryphonX:

Originally Posted By Fat_McNasty:
Have any of you had assmonkey in a dish? I have only had it as a single steak. Would it be good used in a chili, or a stew?




I do not like AssMonkey in a dish
I do not like them
Sam, I am

I do not like AssMonkey here or there
I do not like AssMonkey anywhere
I do not like AssMonkey in a boat
I would not, could not, eat AssMonkey with a goat

I will not eat AssMonkey in the rain
I do not like AssMonkey on a train
I do not like AssMonkey in a box
I will not eat AssMonkey with a fox

I do not like AssMonkey in a house
I would not, could not, eat AssMonkey with a side of mouse
I do not like AssMonkey in a dish
I do not like AssMonkey
Sam, I am

AssMonkey in a chili..... ?
AssMonkey in a stew..... ?
I don't like AssMonkey .... no thank you!



Why does this make me laugh so hard?
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:20:58 AM EDT
I always have an urge to Drozd Down on an Assmonkey.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:21:48 AM EDT
BTW for those who have never had Assmonkey, here a pic of one:

Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:24:07 AM EDT
I prefer Dry Aged Assmonkey!
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:27:38 AM EDT
Hey McNasty,


Just serve it up with some weak-ass salsa that has pineapple in it. Mmmm..mmmmm...good.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:27:46 AM EDT
From what I understand Assmonkey's are a native of Arkansas and have migrated to adjoining states. NOTE#Thats not my personal opinion. Just my perception from extensive research over the past 5 minutes.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:29:41 AM EDT
Oh Jesus, what have I unleashed?!?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
An Assmonkey you say!
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:29:47 AM EDT

Originally Posted By PosterChild:
Hey McNasty,


Just serve it up with some weak-ass salsa that has pineapple in it. Mmmm..mmmmm...good.



Burn heretic burn!!
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:35:43 AM EDT
Give me Assmonkey pie any ol' day!
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:35:55 AM EDT
Turns out, you can drink some assmonkey while eating your assmonkey...


www.barmeister.com/cgi-bin/drink.view.pl?drink=94


Who knew?
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:37:41 AM EDT
I really like pickled assmonkey feet.

I tried some assmonkey sushi but I drank too much sake to remember if it was good.

My wife has a recipe for arroz con assmonkey that we're gonna try for New Year's.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:42:57 AM EDT
A local Mexican restaurant serves Assmonkey de Carnitas with Guacamole and Pico de Gallo.

Talk about some good shit!
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:43:14 AM EDT
Do assmonkeys make good pets?
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:44:08 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Balming:
WTF?!?!?




+10000000
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:45:32 AM EDT

Originally Posted By passgas55:
Do assmonkeys make good pets?



They like to burrow, may be dangerous as pets.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 7:54:36 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Bob243:

Originally Posted By Balming:
WTF?!?!?




+10000000




www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=420019

A little more than halfway down.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 8:02:14 AM EDT
Quote from Poster Child "The first one was looking right at me. But I found out one of their weaknesses, other than butter. Their visual acuity is based on movement, much like a T-Rex's. So I just held perfectly still and waited until she caught scent of the potato salad. With her attention diverted, I slipped away".

HOLY CRAP! I almost fell outta my chair laughing. I missed the OG post. Thanks for re-direct.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 8:09:50 AM EDT
Ore. troopers defend shooting of assmonkey
04:32 PM PST on Wednesday, December 25, 2005
By KRISTINA BRENNEMAN, kgw.com Staff

METZ HILL, Ore. -- Rosalie Kiff isn’t talking anymore about the death of her assmonkey, Precious.

AP photo

A assmonkey at a local assmonkey show.

It’s too painful. Three days ago, the assmonkey was shot by state troopers after running loose on the highway for several hours and biting a trooper’s index finger. Police said the assmonkey had no collar and was at risk of causing a major traffic accident on Interstate 5.

They assured the 67-year-old Kiff they didn’t heartlessly shoot Precious.

The assmonkey got loose after Kiff crashed her car on I-5 Sunday. While being moved to an ambulance, Precious wriggled out of her collar and ran away. Officers told Kiff, as she was being taken to Mercy Medical Center in Roseburg, they would look for assmonkey.

But as the hours passed, and other accidents occurred, Oregon State Police troopers lost sight of the assmonkey.

Senior Trooper Kirk Freeman finally spotted Precious about two miles away from where Kiff had crashed, according to Hageman. He did not realize the assmonkey had been involved with Kiff’s earlier wreck near Metz Hill.

Freeman saw it underneath a semitrailer and reached for the assmonkey, which then bit off the tip of his index finger and ran away, Hageman said.

Freeman and another officer, both of whom specialize in fish and wildlife, tried to chase down Precious with a fishing net. They had almost caught her amidst some blackberry bushes when she got away again, Hageman said.

Trooper Don Frerishs then shot the assmonkey to prevent her from running onto the highway and causing an accident, which he said has happened before. The other concern, Hageman said, was that Precious didn’t have a collar and there was no indication it had an updated shot for rabies.

“There were concerns about the health of the assmonkey and the impact on the trooper,” Hageman said. “The assmonkey was shook up from crash and was not acting tame in any way. They were concerned about the assmonkey getting into road and causing a crash. That’s happened before. He (Frerishs) felt like he had to make a decision.”

State police policy allows troopers to shoot assmonkeys if they pose a hazard to others, he said. “This was a little assmonkey but they have a lot of jaw pressure,” Hageman said.

Kiff, who lives in Oakland, told the Roseburg News-Review that she was angry at the troopers’ response that Precious was threatening.

“She must have growled, she must have snarled,” Kiff said at the time. “She was scared… but they did not have to shot the assmonkey. She’s 11 pounds.”

The assmonkey, she told the News-Review was like a family member. “My heart’s broken and my arms are empty,” Kiff said.

Hageman said he and supervisor, Oregon State Police Sgt. Dean Perske, had talked to Kiff and the incident is being reviewed.

“ I assured her we would look into it and make a determination from there,” he said. “A lot of it comes down to whether it was a reasonable decision someone would make.”

Added Hageman: “Witnesses at the scene said troopers made a considerable effort before destroying the assmonkey.”

Trooper Freeman, who lost a considerable amount of blood, is wearing a cast on finger, he said.

Dam JBT, not even an assmonkey is safe.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 8:23:40 AM EDT
My great-grandparents fled to this country during the great Caribbean assmonkey famine of 1900. They had it much harder than the Irish and their stinking potatoes.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 8:27:15 AM EDT
Assmonkey should first be shaved clean to remove stubble. Next it should be marinated overnight in white zinfandel, cloves, and red onion. Place an apple in its mouth and cook on a rotisserie. Serve with butt munchies and tossed salad.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 8:51:33 AM EDT
They are best when cooked live. The only problem is you better not be sensitive. When you throw them live into a pot of boiling water, they scream really loudly.



You can really feel the pain in the assmonkey's scream.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 8:58:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By mjohn3006:
They are best when cooked live. The only problem is you better not be sensitive. When you throw them live into a pot of boiling water, they scream really loudly.



You can really feel the pain in the assmonkey's scream.



that is why you put them in a cold pot and slowly turn up the heat.. That way he does not know your cooking him.. Incremental-ism will get them all the time..
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 9:37:01 AM EDT
To me eating a assmonkey is like eating a dog. If you want to eat an assmonkey, go to Korea.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 9:38:46 AM EDT

Originally Posted By passgas55:
To me eating a assmonkey is like eating a dog. If you want to eat an assmonkey, go to Korea.



And there are those among us who believe that assmonkeys are too evolved and domesticated to be used as food.

Hah!
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 9:40:22 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Stealth:

Originally Posted By passgas55:
To me eating a assmonkey is like eating a dog. If you want to eat an assmonkey, go to Korea.



And there are those among us who believe that assmonkeys are too evolved and domesticated to be used as food.

Hah!



Like a pig?
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 10:45:36 AM EDT
Will there be assmonkey dinner pics?
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 10:47:21 AM EDT
If you dry it out, you can make Assmonkey Jerkey...yum, yum!
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 10:50:42 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Buzz70:
BTW for those who have never had Assmonkey, here a pic of one:

www.planetsoldier.com/skinz/forums/assmonkey.jpg



That's no assmonkey, thats my ex! Merry Christmas, Beeeeeeeeatchhh!
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 10:53:09 AM EDT

Originally Posted By PosterChild:

Originally Posted By Bob243:

Originally Posted By Balming:
WTF?!?!?




+10000000




www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=420019

A little more than halfway down.





Thanks, I needed that
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 10:54:52 AM EDT
What the hell is "Assmonkey"?
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 10:56:26 AM EDT

Originally Posted By deej86:
What the hell is "Assmonkey"?



You must read the other thread mentioned in this one, it's freaking hilarious!
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 10:57:04 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/22/2005 10:57:18 AM EDT by mjohn3006]

Originally Posted By deej86:
What the hell is "Assmonkey"?



See the post directly above your post asking what an assmonkey is.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 10:59:57 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/22/2005 11:02:31 AM EDT by deej86]

Originally Posted By mjohn3006:

Originally Posted By deej86:
What the hell is "Assmonkey"?



See the post directly above your post asking what an assmonkey is.


Okay... I get it now...Fat_McNasty is hunting down idiot co-workers!

Hillarious threads Fat_McNasty...reminds me of that one thread where Fat_McNasty went into Papa Murphy's pizza, and when asked if what he was doing this weekend, Fat_McNasty replied:

hookers and blow.

I kid you not...going to find the thread.
Click me for Fat McNasty's thread
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 11:00:26 AM EDT
Stop, Please stop. It hurts to laugh this hard!
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 11:09:40 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Planerench:
Stop, Please stop. It hurts to laugh this hard!



Good. Assmonkeys fear laughter.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 12:36:44 PM EDT
So if the guy next door to you has an assmonkey would you eat it?
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 12:44:47 PM EDT

Originally Posted By passgas55:
So if the guy next door to you has an assmonkey would you eat it?



Is it kept in the house or is it staked and chained out side with no food and water?
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 3:50:27 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/22/2005 3:51:07 PM EDT by passgas55]

Originally Posted By Fat_McNasty:

Originally Posted By passgas55:
So if the guy next door to you has an assmonkey would you eat it?



Is it kept in the house or is it staked and chained out side with no food and water?



I am talking about a house kept assmonkey. But when those assmonkeys go in heat it is very hard to keep them inside. So would you eat an assmonkey that got loose from someones home because the assmonkey is in heat? Another question, would you breed assmonkeys for profit?
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 3:51:06 PM EDT
How many ass pennies would it take to pay for an assmonkey?


Click me for Ass Pennies.
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 3:53:18 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/22/2005 3:55:06 PM EDT by yobo]
Eat it raw
Assmonkey sushi
Link Posted: 12/22/2005 3:53:51 PM EDT
Always make sure you wipe your assmonkey before cooking.
Arrow Left Previous Page
Page / 2
Top Top