A reply to a post titled "A good man" on Craigslist (and FYI, the reply, in red, was made by a girl):
A Good Man:
Will put much more value on your mental assets ... rather than your physical assets.
...because most women don't think their physical assets are important and therefore don't take care of them.
Will accept you for what you are ... and grow with you.
Translation: will accept your faults and change to fit your ideal
Will build you up ... not tear your down.
Nor will he ever tell you when you're doing something wrong because it might break your little spirit.
Will never force you to compromise your values.
Because everyone knows women shouldn't compromise in an equal give-and-take relationship
Will never take advantage of your kindness.
Will always respect your feelings and where you are emotionally.
Even if you are being a bitch to him just because someone at work pissed you off.
Will laugh with you ... not at you.
Because he knows you can't take a joke.
Will never call you "Bitch" ... "Slut" ... or "Skank" because he understands this would be attacking your character.
While still allowing you to call him a prick, bastard, asshole, and everything else you can think of while throwing dishes at him
Will nurture your liabilities ... molding them into assets.
Translation: Will consider your tantrums "cute."
Will assuage your fears.
Rather than try to help you overcome them, like an adult.
Will seek to comfort you when you feel insecure.
By telling you that you're not fat, ugly, stupid, or whatever other fault you're obsessing over.
Will elevate your needs ... higher than his.
Because apparently a woman's needs are more important than a man's.
Will treat you as if you were the only woman on Earth.
Because your delicate ego can't accept that there ARE women that are prettier, smarter, or more successful than you - and not be threatened by it
Will not betray your trust ... or otherwise make you feel insecure by looking at … or flirting with other women.
Will honor you with his fidelity.
Even when you bang everything that gives you a little attention.
Will never act condescendingly toward you.
But will, instead, be your permanent whipping boy.
Will seek to communicate with you ... with the objective of fostering a totally open relationship.
Translation: Will keep asking you what's wrong when you're in one of your moods, because you'll get mad if he actually listens to you when you say you don't want to talk about it.
Will understand when you want to be held close ... does not automatically mean you want to make love.
Because, let's face it, you NEVER want to make love anymore.
Will know the difference between making love ... and simply having sex.
Neither of which you have time/energy/desire for.
Will understand that foreplay can be a 24 hour activity ... a telephone call during the day just to say "Hi" ... a note under your wiper blade ... a surprise dinner for two with a musician playing your favorite song.
Because he has to EARN sex with you. It's not like you just WANT to do it with him.
Will understand your brain (mind) is the most erotic organ in your body.
Because the rest of your body has too much cellulite to be of any use during sex
Will know the difference between intimacy and sex ... and that you will not feel whole as a woman unless there is intimacy … long before there is any love making.
Because sex really isn't that important to you, anyway. So it shouldn't be for him either, right?
Will convey to you ... that the essence of your beauty is found within your character ... and who you are ... rather than your exterior.
Because he knows that's what you want to hear, regardless of proven fact that men are visual creatures.
Will assert his manhood ... only to protect and nurture you ... Never to threaten or intimidate you.
So you can say anything you want to that asshole in the bar and your boyfriend can be the one that has to deal with the consequences.
Will pledge to maintaining balance in the relationship ... simply because you contribute an equal half to the relationship.
Except that most of the time you don't.
Will fundamentally ... treat you as any good woman should be treated ... simply because ... he is a good man!
Translation: Will treat you well simply because he's a pushover and doesn't stick up for himself.
Contrary to popular belief … there are still many good men to be found!
In romance novels and the dreams of little girls
Ugh... red on gray looks terrible. Click the original link to see it on white.
Wow the black print really nailed a pu$$y whipped bastard. The red is pretty spot on too for the average woman too.