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Posted: 12/21/2005 10:26:35 AM EDT
So I am online with the tech support using the message based support option on gateways site. I got tired of them asking me dumb questions so I started giving them dumb answers. Here is a transcript. It might be stupid but me and the office were laughing so I thought I would share.

Sal Gutierrez logged in.

21 Dec 2005 01:33:20 PM Rick_GWPS009 says: Thank you for contacting Upgrade Sales. My name and badge number are Rick_GWPS009. What upgrades were you thinking about today?
21 Dec 2005 01:33:49 PM Sal Gutierrez says: I need a replacement power supply. Part number 6500705.
21 Dec 2005 01:34:08 PM Rick_GWPS009 says: Is this the serial number of that computer, ###, is that correct?
21 Dec 2005 01:34:26 PM Sal Gutierrez says: Yes
21 Dec 2005 01:34:56 PM Rick_GWPS009 says: Would you like to upgrade to a much higher power supply Sal?
21 Dec 2005 01:35:21 PM Sal Gutierrez says: no thank you
21 Dec 2005 01:36:06 PM Rick_GWPS009 says: Okay. Since that your computer is currently in warranty, I will be transfering to the right person that will assist you with your concern.
21 Dec 2005 01:36:22 PM Rick_GWPS009 says: But would you like to upgrade first your computer RAM for faster computer?
21 Dec 2005 01:36:41 PM Sal Gutierrez says: No thanks.
Here is where he tries to sell me crap
21 Dec 2005 01:37:11 PM Rick_GWPS009 says: Memory plays a critical role in the overall performance of your computer, and that?s why you should equip your system with Gateway-certified memory that's guaranteed to work in your system. With more system memory (RAM), your computer takes less time to launch, run, and transition between programs.
21 Dec 2005 01:37:41 PM Rick_GWPS009 says: A memory upgrade can help: Eliminate annoying performance lags. Improve computer response time. Run memory-intensive applications. Run multiple applications simultaneously
Here is my first smart ass response
21 Dec 2005 01:37:50 PM Sal Gutierrez says: I like my computer to run slow, but first I need a power supply that works so I can make it run slow again. Plus all I do use it for porn.
21 Dec 2005 01:38:33 PM Rick_GWPS009 says: Okay.
21 Dec 2005 01:38:36 PM Rick_GWPS009 escalated the incident named Sal Gutierrez to the Support queue.
21 Dec 2005 01:38:38 PM Angel_GWPR037 handled the escalated incident named Sal Gutierrez.
21 Dec 2005 01:38:39 PM Sal Gutierrez says: Thanks any way
21 Dec 2005 01:39:10 PM Rick_GWPS009 says: Sal, Angel is here now to assist you.
21 Dec 2005 01:39:18 PM Sal Gutierrez says: Ok thanks again!
21 Dec 2005 01:40:06 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Hi Sal
21 Dec 2005 01:40:10 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: How are you?
21 Dec 2005 01:40:11 PM Sal Gutierrez says: Hello
21 Dec 2005 01:40:14 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Happy Holidays!
21 Dec 2005 01:40:31 PM Sal Gutierrez says: I've been better. Merry Christmas to you!
21 Dec 2005 01:41:22 PM Sal Gutierrez says: I need a power supply. Part number 6500705

21 Dec 2005 01:41:46 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Thank you.
21 Dec 2005 01:41:54 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: I see.
21 Dec 2005 01:42:19 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Can you explain to me the issue you are having with your power supply?
21 Dec 2005 01:43:08 PM Sal Gutierrez says: The computer does not work. I hooked a standard power supply to it and it runs great but it won't fit inside this weird little case.
21 Dec 2005 01:43:35 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Can you tell me exactly when this issue started and describe any changes you made around that time?
21 Dec 2005 01:46:58 PM Sal Gutierrez says: Well I went to turn on the computer and I got no power. No lights, no whirring of the fans, and no sparks either! I push the button and get nothing. I bought a new power supply tester from my local computer store and it failed. I also hooked up a new standard style power supply and the computer boots and runs properly. Is that enough or should I start making stuff up?
21 Dec 2005 01:48:20 PM Sal Gutierrez says: Are you still there????
21 Dec 2005 01:48:23 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Yes
21 Dec 2005 01:48:43 PM Sal Gutierrez says: Ok so where do we go from here?
21 Dec 2005 01:48:48 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Thanks for the information. I need a few minutes to find the solution. Thank you for holding.
21 Dec 2005 01:49:33 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: To resolve this issue I'm going to process a power supply replacement.
21 Dec 2005 01:49:39 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Can I go ahead now?
21 Dec 2005 01:49:50 PM Sal Gutierrez says: Ok thank you.

21 Dec 2005 01:51:30 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: As a form of security for the returning part, I will need your credit card number (no dashes), the expiration date, and the CID (Confidential Identifier) of the card.
21 Dec 2005 01:52:16 PM Sal Gutierrez says: No credit cards here (bad credit)!
21 Dec 2005 01:53:25 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Sal, its a standard procedure. I can't complete the process without the credit card.
21 Dec 2005 01:53:44 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Is there someone in your house that has a credit card.
21 Dec 2005 01:54:16 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Don't worry he/she will not be charge as long as you return the defective part upon receiving the new part.
21 Dec 2005 01:55:09 PM Sal Gutierrez says: How about I send the bad part in for replacement and then I get my new one afterward?
21 Dec 2005 01:55:48 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: No. I apologize.

21 Dec 2005 01:57:15 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Please wait,.

21 Dec 2005 01:58:35 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: thanks for holding.
21 Dec 2005 01:58:43 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Can we proceed now?
21 Dec 2005 01:58:45 PM Sal Gutierrez says: Thats a good thing other wise I would be SOL huh?

21 Dec 2005 01:58:46 PM Sal Gutierrez says: yes
21 Dec 2005 01:59:08 PM Sal Gutierrez says: Ok what do you need again?
21 Dec 2005 01:59:12 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: As a form of security for the returning part, I will need your credit card number (no dashes), the expiration date, and the CID (Confidential Identifier) of the card.

21 Dec 2005 02:00:29 PM Sal Gutierrez says: I won't be charged right? As long as I send the old one back?
21 Dec 2005 02:00:58 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Yes
21 Dec 2005 02:01:13 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Thank you for the information. Please allow me a moment to setup power supply replacement for you.
21 Dec 2005 02:02:24 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: I also need your email address.
21 Dec 2005 02:02:46 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: You will receive a confirmation through your email address.
21 Dec 2005 02:02:49 PM Sal Gutierrez says: Ok it's
21 Dec 2005 02:06:01 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Can I have your call back number please?
21 Dec 2005 02:07:02 PM Sal Gutierrez says: We hardly know each other Angel, maybe after our first date? No seriously its 555-555-5555
21 Dec 2005 02:07:55 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Cute.
21 Dec 2005 02:07:58 PM Sal Gutierrez says: Thats what they say!
21 Dec 2005 02:08:10 PM Sal Gutierrez says: I have been called worse though.
21 Dec 2005 02:08:37 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Thank you for waiting.
.
21 Dec 2005 02:09:25 PM Sal Gutierrez says: Thank you for all of your help and if you call and I don't answer just leave a message!
21 Dec 2005 02:09:41 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: I would appreciate it if you could share your comments about our chat session. A survey form will appear after we close this chat session.
21 Dec 2005 02:10:03 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Sure.
21 Dec 2005 02:10:35 PM Sal Gutierrez says: For you anything Angel!
21 Dec 2005 02:10:51 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Really!
21 Dec 2005 02:10:52 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Thank you so much!
21 Dec 2005 02:10:53 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: It was a pleasure working with you. My name and badge number are Angel_GWPR037. Thank you for using Gateway Remote Assistance and have a great day.
21 Dec 2005 02:10:54 PM Sal Gutierrez says: You have been so much fun to talk too!
21 Dec 2005 02:10:59 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: Merry Christmas!
21 Dec 2005 02:11:08 PM Angel_GWPR037 says: I'll wait for your positive comments.
21 Dec 2005 02:11:11 PM Sal Gutierrez says: The same to you, hope Santa brings you everything you ask for!
Link Posted: 12/21/2005 10:30:21 AM EDT
That's why I build my own... because I don't speak in an Indian accent when I talk to myself for tech support.
Link Posted: 12/21/2005 10:33:00 AM EDT
I do too, this is a customers computer. Due to it still being in warranty aand not being able to find a power supply I was forced to contact Gateway.
Link Posted: 12/21/2005 10:33:55 AM EDT

Originally Posted By UH_SALT_RIFLE:
21 Dec 2005 01:37:50 PM Sal Gutierrez says: I like my computer to run slow, but first I need a power supply that works so I can make it run slow again. Plus all I do use it for porn.




LOL..
That's awesome.
Nice work
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