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Posted: 12/20/2005 4:50:57 AM EDT
Stalin's half-man, half-ape super-warriors


HRIS STEPHEN AND ALLAN HALL

THE Soviet dictator Josef Stalin ordered the creation of Planet of the Apes-style warriors by crossing humans with apes, according to recently uncovered secret documents.

Moscow archives show that in the mid-1920s Russia's top animal breeding scientist, Ilya Ivanov, was ordered to turn his skills from horse and animal work to the quest for a super-warrior.

According to Moscow newspapers, Stalin told the scientist: "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."

In 1926 the Politburo in Moscow passed the request to the Academy of Science with the order to build a "living war machine". The order came at a time when the Soviet Union was embarked on a crusade to turn the world upside down, with social engineering seen as a partner to industrialisation: new cities, architecture, and a new egalitarian society were being created.

The Soviet authorities were struggling to rebuild the Red Army after bruising wars.

And there was intense pressure to find a new labour force, particularly one that would not complain, with Russia about to embark on its first Five-Year Plan for fast-track industrialisation.

Mr Ivanov was highly regarded. He had established his reputation under the Tsar when in 1901 he established the world's first centre for the artificial insemination of racehorses.

Mr Ivanov's ideas were music to the ears of Soviet planners and in 1926 he was dispatched to West Africa with $200,000 to conduct his first experiment in impregnating chimpanzees.

Meanwhile, a centre for the experiments was set up in Georgia - Stalin's birthplace - for the apes to be raised.

Mr Ivanov's experiments, unsurprisingly from what we now know, were a total failure. He returned to the Soviet Union, only to see experiments in Georgia to use monkey sperm in human volunteers similarly fail.

A final attempt to persuade a Cuban heiress to lend some of her monkeys for further experiments reached American ears, with the New York Times reporting on the story, and she dropped the idea amid the uproar.

Mr Ivanov was now in disgrace. His were not the only experiments going wrong: the plan to collectivise farms ended in the 1932 famine in which at least four million died.

For his expensive failure, he was sentenced to five years' jail, which was later commuted to five years' exile in the Central Asian republic of Kazakhstan in 1931. A year later he died, reportedly after falling sick while standing on a freezing railway platform.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 6:11:27 AM EDT
Well I'll be a monkeys Uncle

­



Thats what he gets for monkeying around
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 6:12:26 AM EDT
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 6:13:08 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/20/2005 6:14:32 AM EDT by lippo]



Originally Posted By NonConformist:
Well I'll be a monkeys Uncle

­



Originally Posted By DzlBenz:


Thats what he gets for monkeying around





Link Posted: 12/20/2005 6:14:21 AM EDT
Further proof of the absolute insanity of Stalin.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 6:14:59 AM EDT
So.. If I read this right they had some Russian dudes screwing Chimps... AHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHhAHHAH

OMG!!! Talk about abusing the primate!
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 6:19:52 AM EDT
Wouldn't have been easier to instead not murder 20M before WWII and then have 1 rifle per soldier instead of 1 broken rifle without ammo for 5-10 soldiers?
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 6:22:39 AM EDT
Humanzee ...... hmmmm Linkypoo
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 6:22:40 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DzlBenz:
eil.com/newgallery/Charlton-Heston-Planet-Of-The-Ape-259844.jpg



I'd double-tap tht Chimp ass!
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 6:24:02 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SJSAMPLE:

Originally Posted By DzlBenz:
eil.com/newgallery/Charlton-Heston-Planet-Of-The-Ape-259844.jpg



I'd double-tap tht Chimp ass!

They can have my Ape-Wife when they pry her from my cold, dead hands!
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 6:24:04 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/20/2005 6:32:14 AM EDT by raven]
I always get that feeling when I look at those pictures from back then, like the Nazis and shit, cant believe this stuff happened.

Dude, there's a SKULL on your HAT. This isn't a comic book or a bad movie. Completely unironic, it's not camp or kitsch. They have fucking skull insignias. "Hey, case you didn't know, we're the bad guys"




Stalin, you cannot crossbreed man-ape super warriors.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 6:27:36 AM EDT

Originally Posted By fight4yourrights:
[ to use monkey sperm in human volunteers





Who the hell would volunteer for that?


Miss we are going to try and impregnate you with monkey sperm.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 9:25:03 AM EDT
Spanking the monkey?
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 9:29:22 AM EDT
"get your stinking paws off me, you DAMN DIRTY APE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 9:30:03 AM EDT
<------------------



Originally Posted By COLE-CARBINE:
Spanking the monkey?

Link Posted: 12/20/2005 9:33:49 AM EDT

Originally Posted By pyro6988:
Who the hell would volunteer for that?

Miss we are going to try and impregnate you with monkey sperm.



Who said anything about "volunteering"?
This was The Soviet Union we are talking about.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 9:34:21 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Leisure_Shoot:

Originally Posted By pyro6988:
Who the hell would volunteer for that?

Miss we are going to try and impregnate you with monkey sperm.



Who said anything about "volunteering"?
This was The Soviet Union we are talking about.



+1
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 9:36:07 AM EDT

Originally Posted By pyro6988:

Originally Posted By fight4yourrights:
[ to use monkey sperm in human volunteers





Who the hell would volunteer for that?



When you're starving and they offer you food, you'll volunteer for almost anything I imagine.
Link Posted: 12/20/2005 9:43:05 AM EDT


Originally Posted By pyro6988:

Originally Posted By fight4yourrights:
[ to use monkey sperm in human volunteers





Who the hell would volunteer for that?





How cute is the ape?
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