How would you rate my friend's behavior?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - How would you rate my friend's behavior? (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 12/19/2005 8:36:42 PM EDT

Last year, my friend's daughter (a few days before Christmas) was acting very snotty. answering back and just being rotten. My friend tells his daughter "Keep it up and Santa wont come"... She doesnt stop. Keeps disobeying and not listening... She even goes as far to say "Oh yes Santa will come and bring me LOTS of toys"

so my buddy takes her toys and sticks them in the attic.

Christmas morning comes and no toys for her. she says "I dont care, he'll come later" ...later comes and NO TOYS... When she goes to bed... she says"There will be toys for me tomorrow"

About three days later... tree is down, lights are down... cards and decorations all down... he goes upstairs and she is crying on the bed... He asks her whats the matter?

She says "I guess its true, Santa knows who is naughty... I am so sorry"

Now most of the people I talk to say that he has some guts to hold out and do what he did... others (the minority) say that he was mean... Just want to know what you guys think?

Posted: 12/19/2005 8:37:45 PM EDT

[#1]

POLL UP!!!... HA HA... No IBTP POSTS!!!

Posted: 12/19/2005 8:38:35 PM EDT

[#2]

how old is the kid?

Posted: 12/19/2005 8:38:53 PM EDT

[#3]

Careful some liberal will say he being abusive

Posted: 12/19/2005 8:40:37 PM EDT

[#4]

I would need to know the Childs age before I can answer .

Posted: 12/19/2005 8:40:59 PM EDT

[#5]

And how as she this year? If she was good then it worked. Kids have to learn early that there are consequences for their actions.

Posted: 12/19/2005 8:41:11 PM EDT

[#6]

She was 6 at the time.

Posted: 12/19/2005 8:41:21 PM EDT

[#7]

He did good. Still mean but in a good way.

I hope his kid learned something.

Buy him a bear for me.

Posted: 12/19/2005 8:41:25 PM EDT

[#8]

Balls O Steel.....how old was the girl?

Posted: 12/19/2005 8:41:40 PM EDT

[#9]

I am willing to bet she will listen a little better in the future, i would never be able to hold out that long on my kid,he has more strength than i do.

Posted: 12/19/2005 8:44:50 PM EDT

[#10]

Hardcore.

Posted: 12/19/2005 8:45:38 PM EDT

[#11]

Follow through......Nice.

I like this guy.

Posted: 12/19/2005 8:46:03 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
I am willing to bet she will listen a little better in the future, i would never be able to hold out that long on my kid,he has more strength than i do.

Yeah me too... only thing is that my two daughters are treating me like shit lately and this little incident came to mind to me this morning... I called up my friend in NY to see if it worked. I think he said it did.

hey, bright side... Xmas shopping for next year is DONE!

Posted: 12/19/2005 8:46:28 PM EDT

[#13]

Isn't that "torture" according to the new definition?

Posted: 12/19/2005 8:48:51 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Last year, my friend's daughter (a few days before Christmas) was acting very snotty. answering back and just being rotten. My friend tells his daughter "Keep it up and Santa wont come"... She doesnt stop. Keeps disobeying and not listening... She even goes as far to say "Oh yes Santa will come and bring me LOTS of toys"

so my buddy takes her toys and sticks them in the attic.

Christmas morning comes and no toys for her. she says "I dont care, he'll come later" ...later comes and NO TOYS... When she goes to bed... she says"There will be toys for me tomorrow"

About three days later... tree is down, lights are down... cards and decorations all down... he goes upstairs and she is crying on the bed... He asks her whats the matter?

She says "I guess its true, Santa knows who is naughty... I am so sorry"

Now most of the people I talk to say that he has some guts to hold out and do what he did... others (the monority) say that he was mean... Just want to know what you guys think?

Considering depriving your kids too?

Posted: 12/19/2005 8:51:17 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I am willing to bet she will listen a little better in the future, i would never be able to hold out that long on my kid,he has more strength than i do.

Yeah me too... only thing is that my two daughters are treating me like shit lately and this little incident came to mind to me this morning... I called up my friend in NY to see if it worked. I think he said it did.

hey, bright side... Xmas shopping for next year is DONE!

Posted: 12/19/2005 9:00:40 PM EDT

[#16]

At six years old it's mean . While I agree 100%
that children need discipline . There are ways of
achieving the goal without crushing their spirit .
At six , many children haven't developed the intellect
needed to comprehend the message of this action .

While at 8-10 years old it would be a much more
effective tool in teaching them that they are responsible for
their actions .

I'm of the opinion that Children are pushed to grow up too fast in
today’s society

Posted: 12/19/2005 9:01:03 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Last year, my friend's daughter (a few days before Christmas) was acting very snotty. answering back and just being rotten. My friend tells his daughter "Keep it up and Santa wont come"... She doesnt stop. Keeps disobeying and not listening... She even goes as far to say "Oh yes Santa will come and bring me LOTS of toys"

so my buddy takes her toys and sticks them in the attic.

Christmas morning comes and no toys for her. she says "I dont care, he'll come later" ...later comes and NO TOYS... When she goes to bed... she says"There will be toys for me tomorrow"

About three days later... tree is down, lights are down... cards and decorations all down... he goes upstairs and she is crying on the bed... He asks her whats the matter?

She says "I guess its true, Santa knows who is naughty... I am so sorry"

Now most of the people I talk to say that he has some guts to hold out and do what he did... others (the monority) say that he was mean... Just want to know what you guys think?

Considering depriving your kids too?

No actually using it as an excuse since I havent done my shopping yet!!

Posted: 12/19/2005 9:04:48 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
At six years old it's mean . While I agree 100%
that children need discipline . There are ways of
achieving the goal without crushing their spirit .
At six , many children haven't developed the intellect
needed to comprehend the message of this action .

While at 8-10 years old it would be a much more
effective tool in teaching them that they are responsible for
their actions .
I'm of the opinion that Children are pushed to grow up too fast in
today’s society

Problem is that between the ages of 8-10 they already know Santa doesnt exist so it wouldnt be an effective tool. Although, I think my teenage daughter still thinks he exists

(She's on the message board and reads/posts here regularly So I think Im gonna hear it in about 5 minutes!)

Posted: 12/19/2005 9:08:44 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:

Problem is that between the ages of 8-10 they already know Santa doesnt exist so it wouldnt be an effective tool. Although, I think my teenage daughter still thinks he exists

WHAT!!!!!!

Posted: 12/19/2005 9:11:05 PM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
Quoted:

Problem is that between the ages of 8-10 they already know Santa doesnt exist so it wouldnt be an effective tool. Although, I think my teenage daughter still thinks he exists

WHAT!!!!!!

Uh oh!

Posted: 12/19/2005 9:20:22 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:

Problem is that between the ages of 8-10 they already know Santa doesnt exist so it wouldnt be an effective tool.

Actually that's my point , at six you are crushing an innocence
of childhood , by the time they are old enough to understand
about " Santa" . That's the time when they need to learn that
it's their actions that bring on punishment .

Posted: 12/19/2005 9:20:38 PM EDT

[#22]

awesome lesson!!!!
~Dg84

Posted: 12/19/2005 9:41:59 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
Quoted:

Problem is that between the ages of 8-10 they already know Santa doesnt exist so it wouldnt be an effective tool.

Actually that's my point , at six you are crushing an innocence
of childhood , by the time they are old enough to understand
about " Santa" . That's the time when they need to learn that
it's their actions that bring on punishment .

AH I see what you are saying. But have you ever been in a fight with lets say a GF or Wife and you just stand your ground... THEN a third party steps in and says "No, she is right and here is the reason.... " and basically says what she says.

I think that by him saying "Even Santa noticed you were bad means something" Kinda like a third party intervention. See, I dont see witholding toys as a nasty punishment. It is NOT abuse by any stretch of the imagination. But, on a serious note regarding my kids, I dont think my 5 year old understands consequences... for some reason she just doesnt grasp it, she would take it more of passing moment then readjust and move on.

I guess it depends on the child as well.

Posted: 12/19/2005 9:44:46 PM EDT

[#24]

He did the right thing by following through, even if he did the wrong thing by denying her toys.
She has now learned that her actions have consequences.
If my kid was being a snot like that, I'd have the same mind to do it.

Posted: 12/19/2005 10:11:08 PM EDT

[#25]

I vote this guy to be father of the freakin year. As a police officer I deal almost exclusively with kids that have NEVER learned the concept of consequences in exchange for their poor choices. These kids are obviously TOTALLY out of control as their parents are calling me and my buddies to "raise" their kids for them so they don't have to be the "bad guy". I end up telling these people that it is not up to the city or the state to raise their children, but ......THEY are the ones responsible. That's right, the people that actually created this living, breathing, tantrum throwing thing need to be the one to step up and raise them.

I am sick of people asking me to "put a scare into them" or "really lay into them" and I say, "wow, sorry everybody but we don't do that anymore, nobody is scared of us after all this community oriented policing stuff started and we really want to be more approachable, not scary" I wish them all luck after leaving pamphlets from the dispute resolution center. They'll meet with you in a few weeks to talk about the problem you're having today.

People need to raise their own damn kids and stop worrying about their kids hating them for it. You are supposed to be a PARENT, not their FRIEND, it is two different things.

Posted: 12/19/2005 10:18:49 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
Buy him a bear for me.

Couldn't that be dangerous? WTF is he going to do with a bear?

-Ben

Posted: 12/19/2005 10:27:56 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
Considering depriving your kids too?

Yes depriving them of thinking there are no consequences to their actions.
Depriving them of believing they are entitled to things.
Depriving them of growing up to be spoiled little assholes.

I say he did the right thing. Children should not treat their parents badly period!

Posted: 12/19/2005 10:44:50 PM EDT

[#28]

Mixed emotions.

I wouldn't use "Santa" as an enforcer of consequences to a six-year old girl, but she was being a brat and shouldn't have been rewarded for her bad behavior.

Had it been me? I would have punished her MYSELF, and left Santa out of it.

Posted: 12/19/2005 10:51:10 PM EDT

[#29]

Your friend is awesome.

Posted: 12/19/2005 10:55:29 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Considering depriving your kids too?

Yes depriving them of thinking there are no consequences to their actions.
Depriving them of believing they are entitled to things.
Depriving them of growing up to be spoiled little assholes.

I say he did the right thing. Children should not treat their parents badly period!

+1

My kids are good and learning the concept of consequences, else I'd do the same.

Posted: 12/19/2005 11:22:50 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
I vote this guy to be father of the freakin year. As a police officer I deal almost exclusively with kids that have NEVER learned the concept of consequences in exchange for their poor choices. These kids are obviously TOTALLY out of control as their parents are calling me and my buddies to "raise" their kids for them so they don't have to be the "bad guy". I end up telling these people that it is not up to the city or the state to raise their children, but ......THEY are the ones responsible. That's right, the people that actually created this living, breathing, tantrum throwing thing need to be the one to step up and raise them.
I am sick of people asking me to "put a scare into them" or "really lay into them" and I say, "wow, sorry everybody but we don't do that anymore, nobody is scared of us after all this community oriented policing stuff started and we really want to be more approachable, not scary" I wish them all luck after leaving pamphlets from the dispute resolution center. They'll meet with you in a few weeks to talk about the problem you're having today.

People need to raise their own damn kids and stop worrying about their kids hating them for it. You are supposed to be a PARENT, not their FRIEND, it is two different things.

I agree with you 100% whole heartedly but here is where I have a problem. People are so scared now to discipline their kids in fear of a visit from Child Protective Services. People are calling CPS when they spot someone just giving their kid a swat on the butt because Jr almost ran into the street of 60 mph traffic.

Happened to a friend of mine... kid was rowdy, he swatted the kid on the butt and had a HUGE ASS mess to deal with CPS.... Parents are scared PLUS the "new" school of disciplining where you use words like "no-no" or "time out" is the in thing.

Posted: 12/20/2005 2:56:39 PM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
Quoted:
At six years old it's mean . While I agree 100%
that children need discipline . There are ways of
achieving the goal without crushing their spirit .
At six , many children haven't developed the intellect
needed to comprehend the message of this action .

While at 8-10 years old it would be a much more
effective tool in teaching them that they are responsible for
their actions .
I'm of the opinion that Children are pushed to grow up too fast in
today’s society

Problem is that between the ages of 8-10 they already know Santa doesnt exist so it wouldnt be an effective tool. Although, I think my teenage daughter still thinks he exists

(She's on the message board and reads/posts here regularly So I think Im gonna hear it in about 5 minutes!)

WHAT?! SANTA DOESNT EXIST?! When did this happen?!

Posted: 12/20/2005 5:04:45 PM EDT

[#33]

No good. That's a dirty trick to play on a 6 year old.

Why can't your friend discipline a tiny child well enough to avoid these sort of drastic measures?

Something's rotten there.

You guys that want to be tough on kids, that's fine, but you need to be THE ADULT.

You can't act like this guy and then expect to be respected by the kid later on in life. I mean respected, not feared.

I take zero shit from my kids, BTW.

Posted: 12/20/2005 5:19:13 PM EDT

[#34]

MY sister in law was a horrible kid.My wife said her folks threatened her with no Christmas.Sister acted better.Until Christmas,then turne back into a hellion.Santa came back that night and repo'd all his gifts!

hat got her attention.

Posted: 12/20/2005 5:28:39 PM EDT

[#35]

Lesson was needed. Lesson was given. If she's learning, she'll be a better person for it.

Posted: 12/20/2005 5:35:37 PM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:
how old is the kid?

27

Posted: 12/20/2005 5:55:47 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
No good. That's a dirty trick to play on a 6 year old.

Why can't your friend discipline a tiny child well enough to avoid these sort of drastic measures?

Something's rotten there.

You guys that want to be tough on kids, that's fine, but you need to be THE ADULT.

You can't act like this guy and then expect to be respected by the kid later on in life. I mean respected, not feared.

I take zero shit from my kids, BTW.

Thanks for the parenting lesson. Most of us are ignoring it.

Posted: 12/20/2005 5:59:42 PM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:
Careful some liberal will say he being abusive

They can't say that because they deny the existence of Santa or any other Christmas related or Christian entities.

I say the guy has balls of steel. He was right in what he did. Hopefully he still has all those toys in the attic and holds them until such a time as his daughter is old enough to realize where the stuff actually comes from. At that time, pull them out and have a long talk with her about behavior and let her have them then.

Posted: 12/20/2005 6:01:04 PM EDT

[#39]

WTF guys, he didn't punisher her, Santa did!

Buy this man a Hinekien Holiday 6 5 pack!

Posted: 12/20/2005 6:01:22 PM EDT

[#40]

Actions have Consequences.

Posted: 12/20/2005 6:02:30 PM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
Quoted:

Problem is that between the ages of 8-10 they already know Santa doesnt exist so it wouldnt be an effective tool.

Actually that's my point , at six you are crushing an innocence
of childhood , by the time they are old enough to understand
about " Santa" . That's the time when they need to learn that
it's their actions that bring on punishment .

He's making a list and checking it twice. Gonna find out who's naughty and nice......

He handled it perfectly.

Posted: 12/20/2005 6:02:50 PM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:

As a police officer ..... their parents are calling me and my buddies to "raise" their kids for them so they don't have to be the "bad guy". I end up telling these people that it is not up to the city or the state to raise their children,

But, but ....... it takes a VILLAGE to raise a child..........

Posted: 12/20/2005 6:02:57 PM EDT

[#43]

that girl will be the president I tell you, good for the father.

Posted: 12/20/2005 6:08:15 PM EDT

[#44]

I think mean bastard and balls of steel are the same thing.

Posted: 12/20/2005 6:15:16 PM EDT

[#45]

My parents tossed all my Christmas gifts (from Santa/them) one year. Made a believer out of me.

Posted: 12/20/2005 6:15:18 PM EDT

[#46]

Christmas boot camp! Hoorah!

Posted: 12/20/2005 6:15:35 PM EDT

[#47]

Quoted:
At six years old it's mean . While I agree 100%
that children need discipline . There are ways of
achieving the goal without crushing their spirit .
At six , many children haven't developed the intellect
needed to comprehend the message of this action .

While at 8-10 years old it would be a much more
effective tool in teaching them that they are responsible for
their actions .

I'm of the opinion that Children are pushed to grow up too fast in
today’s society

+1 for me. I figure that he could have made his point some other way that didn't require ruining Christmas for everyone involved. Plus going up against a six year old doesn't require balls in my book.

Posted: 12/20/2005 6:30:10 PM EDT

[#48]

Quoted:
No good. That's a dirty trick to play on a 6 year old.

Why can't your friend discipline a tiny child well enough to avoid these sort of drastic measures?

Something's rotten there.

You guys that want to be tough on kids, that's fine, but you need to be THE ADULT.

You can't act like this guy and then expect to be respected by the kid later on in life. I mean respected, not feared.

I take zero shit from my kids, BTW.

It wasnt a dirty trick.. it was a consequence to bad behavior. Its not like she didnt get presents from grandma and grandpa... she did. Oh and to this day, She runs into his arms everyday he comes home from work... Doesnt sound like fear to me. If she ran and hid in a closet I would agree with you.

Posted: 12/20/2005 6:31:09 PM EDT

[#49]

Quoted:
Quoted:
No good. That's a dirty trick to play on a 6 year old.

Why can't your friend discipline a tiny child well enough to avoid these sort of drastic measures?

Something's rotten there.

You guys that want to be tough on kids, that's fine, but you need to be THE ADULT.

You can't act like this guy and then expect to be respected by the kid later on in life. I mean respected, not feared.

I take zero shit from my kids, BTW.

Thanks for the parenting lesson. Most of us are ignoring it.

Please do ignore it. The guy asked for opinions. There's mine. Don't like it, too bad.

I cannot think of a single reason to cheat a 6 year old out of Christmas. What hell could a 6 year old be doing that could not be handled with normal punishment? Shooting heroin?

Posted: 12/20/2005 6:33:02 PM EDT

[#50]

Quoted:
No good. That's a dirty trick to play on a 6 year old.

Why can't your friend discipline a tiny child well enough to avoid these sort of drastic measures?

Something's rotten there.

You guys that want to be tough on kids, that's fine, but you need to be THE ADULT.

You can't act like this guy and then expect to be respected by the kid later on in life. I mean respected, not feared.

I take zero shit from my kids, BTW.

+1 that is a dirty trick. The guy is a jackass. His little girl obvioulsy already has a dicipline problem. Probably because he won't be a man and punish her himself. The time to punish a kid is immediately when they talk back or get out of line. If he has to be a chickenshit and balme it on santa, the least he could do is say that he is the one that told santa not to come.

Now, he has a kid that is going to hate santa. When she finds out the truth about santa she will hate her father for being such a manipulative jackass. I'm all for some tough love and discipline, but this is bullshit.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - How would you rate my friend's behavior? (Page 1 of 2)

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