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Posted: 12/16/2005 11:27:33 AM EDT
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."
After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him.

Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhouse kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger; it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the face that day.

If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you get "Huck corn, sir." That is why every fall, Chuck travels to Nebraska and burns the entire state down.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris often asks people to pull his finger. When they do, he roundhouses them in the abdomen. Then he farts.

Chuck Norris uses a live rattle snake for a condom.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

(sorry if this is a dupe, or you do not support Chuck)
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:30:48 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/16/2005 11:31:00 AM EDT by Dusty_C]
GODDAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THE CHUCK NORRIS SHIT LATELY?
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:31:15 AM EDT
My mom met Chuck Norris once.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:32:13 AM EDT
It would seem that Arfcom has a collective hardon for all thing Chuck Norris. That is
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:32:17 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:
GODDAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THE CHUCK NORRIS SHIT LATELY?



It's funny as hell.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:34:23 AM EDT

Originally Posted By walrus:
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

(sorry if this is a dupe, or you do not support Chuck)



I have learned something from Chuck today. It has now been a good day.

If you do not support Chuck? Who would be crazy enough to admit to that?
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:35:39 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:
GODDAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THE CHUCK NORRIS SHIT LATELY?




Jealous?
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:35:42 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ARKAN_the_Tiger:

Originally Posted By walrus:
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

(sorry if this is a dupe, or you do not support Chuck)



I have learned something from Chuck today. It has now been a good day.

If you do not support Chuck? Who would be crazy enough to admit to that?



Some people are none believers
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:36:20 AM EDT

Originally Posted By rtr:
My mom met Chuck Norris once.



And yes you are is son.

Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:36:32 AM EDT

Originally Posted By rtr:
My mom met Chuck Norris once.



And lived?????
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:37:09 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DigDug:

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:
GODDAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THE CHUCK NORRIS SHIT LATELY?




Jealous?

Oh yeah, lemme tell ya.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:38:10 AM EDT

Originally Posted By rtr:
My mom met Chuck Norris once.




Then He roundhouse kicked her to the face. The force of the kick was so powerful, it traveled distances in space and time beyond your comprehension, simuntaneously landing on your face as well, that is why you are so frickin ugly.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:38:46 AM EDT

Originally Posted By walrus:


A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.




Actually, his name is Carlos.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:38:59 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:

Originally Posted By DigDug:

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:
GODDAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THE CHUCK NORRIS SHIT LATELY?




Jealous?

Oh yeah, lemme tell ya.



Dusty, ole buddy, its been nice knowing ya. I hope I'll catch the story in Monday's ArkDemGaz about your demise due to a roundhouse.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:39:13 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:
GODDAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THE CHUCK NORRIS SHIT LATELY?



If you don't know I'm not gonna' tell ya
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:39:22 AM EDT

Originally Posted By walrus:

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:
GODDAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THE CHUCK NORRIS SHIT LATELY?



It's funny as hell.


Not that funny, the guys a joke. The chinese kid off of american idol was far funnier.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:40:04 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DigDug:

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:
GODDAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THE CHUCK NORRIS SHIT LATELY?




Jealous?



If you know whats good for you ,you will decrease the size of your letters immediately and ask Chuck Norris for forgivness while there is still time.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:41:15 AM EDT
He shoots at an indoor range here in Dallas sometimes.............i know........i had to ask.......Mod. 92, 9mm.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:42:14 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:
GODDAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THE CHUCK NORRIS SHIT LATELY?



BECAUSE IT IS FUCKING HILARIOUS... douche.

- Kool-Aid (LCA tsxx37)
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:43:34 AM EDT
He's still the fisting champion of California.

In other words he is a pussy.

Bruce.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:44:47 AM EDT

Originally Posted By olyarms:

Originally Posted By walrus:

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:
GODDAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THE CHUCK NORRIS SHIT LATELY?



It's funny as hell.


Not that funny, the guys a joke. The chinese kid off of american idol was far funnier.



[/hint] that's the whole joke about it [hint]
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:44:57 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Bruce_Lee:
He's still the fisting champion of California.

In other words he is a pussy.

Bruce.



Sgtar15, is that you?
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:47:21 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ARKAN_the_Tiger:

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:

Originally Posted By DigDug:

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:
GODDAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THE CHUCK NORRIS SHIT LATELY?




Jealous?

Oh yeah, lemme tell ya.



Dusty, ole buddy, its been nice knowing ya. I hope I'll catch the story in Monday's ArkDemGaz about your demise due to a roundhouse.

LOL, nah, my 'bird is faster than Chuck!
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 11:56:19 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/16/2005 11:56:19 AM EDT by tc6969]
We are NOT starting this shit again! http://www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=407546
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