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Posted: 12/16/2005 8:35:00 AM EDT
I see so many "I hate the bitch" threads. Sometimes I wonder if anyone else has a good marriage?

I'm going on my 10th year of marriage, 13 together total. Yea me. We have had our good years and bad years. Been through bad financial times, and bad familly times. It was not and is not always easy but we have made it through.

Here are some of my observations:

1. People Change. The girl you married will not be the same in a year or 2 years or 5 years. NEITHER WILL YOU. Both of you have to realize that you have changed and will continue to do so.

2. Money. It is not "MY" money or "HER" money. It goes together. She is more frugal than I am. She likes to buy shoes. Who the hell needs so many shoes?!?! But she says "Who the hell needs so many guns?!?!?" It is give and take. We talk about things. We don't always agree sometimes we fight about it. But we know that we each have different desires and respect that. I like to make her happy and she likes to make me happy. Just avoid all debt any way possible. Debt alone will kill your marriage, almost did ours.

3. Money part 2: Have an emergency fund. This is really a big deal to the ladies in my experience. The safety net makes a big impact and keeps stress from building.

4. KEEP YOUR BALLS ATTACHED. Watch Ferris Buellers Day Off untill you get the concept. She has to RESPECT you. You cannot kiss her ass!!! How can you respect someone who kisses your ass?!?!? You can be confident, and assertive with out treating her bad. Want to know why many women cheat? Their man is a pussy. He kisses her ass.

5. Have FUN together. This is something I find hard but is important. At least avery few months do something FUN and ACTIVE together. PLAY. Don't worry you will get laid that night anyway. Somethimes we get so caught up in life we forget to play. You need to have fun with her.

6. Talk to and flirt with other women. Looking is not touching. Don't be a moron and do it in front of her. But this keeps your edge up and keeps your confidence up, which makes you more attractive to your wife. Plus she will feel a need to compete even a little. Unless you have an open relationship, look but don't touch. You will be more playfull with her and keep her interested.

7. If you are not married build your life and take enjoyment from YOUR life. SHARE your life with a good woman, do not BUILD your life around that woman. If you are not confident and don't know how to talk to chicks learn. Lots of good books out there. Never try to solve her problems.

8. Get away from each other. Take a few days by your self doing what you want. Make her miss you and miss her. Let her do the same. Time away can be a good thing. I don't travel for a living so I don't know much about that life style. This is geared for normal folks who are home all the time.

9. Don't be lazy. If she is a stay at home mom her job is harder than yours. Each child adds exponentially to the burden. I know this because I have worked at home for the last 3 years and she now works outside the house. Just helping a little bit or letting her take 20 minutes to herself without being hassled with a chore or kid makes a big difference.

10. You both can't give 50% and hope to meet in the middle. Give 80% both of you. This way there is something left over for YOU and if one person is only giving 30 that day you will meet in the middle.

11. Marry someone who is worth it. If she is not the workout type chick and she has kids especially later in life she WILL gain weight and it will not go away. If her other familly is overwieght she will probably get there too. So know what you are getting yourself into. Hot chicks are higher maintenace but can be worth it. Mine is hot and more work but a good person. I think it is worth it.

12. Some people suck. They just do. This will not change. Live with someone before getting married. You do NOT know a person before you live with them. If you are Christian well that has its own problems. Want a good marriage try her out first. If she is a bad person find out now, not after you are married.

13. NEVER GET MARRIED BECAUSE YOU KNOCKED HER UP. This is about the worst thing you can do. You will be a part of her life but don't give in. If you really love the girl get married a few years AFTER she proves her self with the kid.

14. Again keep you man card. If you act like a girlie man she will cheat on you. Women want MEN not chicks with dicks, unless she is a porn director and in that case try to get some 3somes out of the deal. NIce guys don't get chicks because they ACT LIKE CHICKS. They put the woman "in charge"

Anyway these are jsut random thoughts. It is a partnership and she has to be worth it. But it CAN work.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:36:32 AM EDT
Rodent and Jason280 both have great women, but IIRC neither are married. I see valuable information here.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:37:47 AM EDT
Good luck with your marriage.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:38:03 AM EDT
18 years this monday with a terrific wife. I couldn't ask for anything more.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:38:10 AM EDT
My wife and I have a GREAT freaking marriage.

We actually found a way for true respect and love to work in a true partnership. I would be completely lost without her.

Been together for 7.25 years and married for 6.5.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:38:43 AM EDT
Yep, going on 14 years.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:39:06 AM EDT
anyone who says yes is a liar
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:40:47 AM EDT
We both agree that we do. Been together for over 5 years and married since April 1st of this year.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:42:47 AM EDT
Add me to TheRedHorseman's liars list

Mrs.SouthHoof & I are doing great. 25+yrs.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:44:03 AM EDT


No marriage is perfect. People that don't have the occasional blowout aren't human - or they don't spend any time with each other.

I'm happy with my marriage. 12 years and going strong.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:46:15 AM EDT
been together 14 years and married 12 years.
everything is fine.

she works 1 st shift and i work 2 shift.
her check goes to her bank acct. she pays half of the house bills.

my check goes to my acct and i pay the other half of the bills.

i take the kids to school, she picks them up.

can't remember the last time we had a fight or argument.

it works for us.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:46:46 AM EDT
We're doing good. Had some rocky times this year, but thats all in the past. Without the ability to communicate, we might have gone the way of many of the marriages you read about here.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:49:01 AM EDT
Going on 15 years. Had some rough times, but anyone that says they have been married for any length of time and NOT had some sort of problem.......

Learn and live
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:49:49 AM EDT
I have a very good marriage. It has little problems but for the most part we are doing very well. We have been together for 8 years as of the 11th of this month.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:50:50 AM EDT
Yes, for 30 years. And I am not a liar, just a good judge of character. A hint to you young guys: Look at what's on the inside when you choose a mate. The body is probably gonna go to hell as soon as they eat the wedding cake anyway.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:53:10 AM EDT
Yes, been together 24, married for 20 years. 19 of them good. Every marriage has rough spots, some don't choose to work through them.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:56:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dilbert_556:
Yes, for 30 years. And I am not a liar, just a good judge of character. A hint to you young guys: Look at what's on the inside when you choose a mate. The body is probably gonna go to hell as soon as they eat the wedding cake anyway.

Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:57:43 AM EDT
Almost 14 years. I love my wife and am thankful every day for her.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:59:17 AM EDT
10 years. 3 kids. 1 dog. everyone is happy here.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 8:59:49 AM EDT
My wife is my best friend, and the bestest best friend I've ever had. Need I say more?
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:02:31 AM EDT
25 happy years this past September.

8 great kids

and a wife that still looks as good as the day I married her.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:03:13 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dilbert_556:
Yes, for 30 years. And I am not a liar, just a good judge of character. A hint to you young guys: Look at what's on the inside when you choose a mate. The body is probably gonna go to hell as soon as they eat the wedding cake anyway.



+1 here, for 32 + years. I'll echo what my esteemed colleague stated above - if you base your marriage on outer things alone you will be disappointed. Mrs. NMSight is as attractive to me today as when we were going together.

NMSight
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:03:17 AM EDT
9 years. Love my wife. It hasn't been all smooth sailing, nor do I expect it to be.

Life is good...
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:03:42 AM EDT
8.5 yrs. and better than the day we were married
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:04:06 AM EDT
Aye
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:05:28 AM EDT
Mine is good so far.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:05:48 AM EDT
21 years sometimes good and sometimes bad, currently in a good stage

I'll tell you one thing, I would not re married if it did'nt work out. If you can't figure it out the first time, what make you think its going to work out the second, third or forth.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:08:20 AM EDT
21 years and better than ever!!!!!

Just remember, it is work that keeps a marriage together , not majic. If you work hard the majic will come!
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:09:00 AM EDT
Yes.

I do.

SG
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:09:45 AM EDT
I could not function on a day-to-day basis without my wife. She completes me, and I do my damnedest to reciprocate.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:10:50 AM EDT
Yes but it is my second marriage. Loyal despite me being me! I wish I had met her first. Just celebrated 26(mostly great) years.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:12:34 AM EDT
I have a good one!!!

Mrs. Brohawk is a gem! I'll keep her as long as she'll put up with me!
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:13:15 AM EDT
We’ve known each other for almost 21 years, been married for almost 16 of those with 2 kids 13 and 7 yrs old. Our secret? We really love each other, simple as that! People now a days don’t spend enough time getting to know one another. Another thing I like to factor in is the fact that my wife is German and comes from a small town where old fashioned values are still taught.

We’ve had dark days in our marriage where I didn’t know what to do but our love for one another always brought things back on course!
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:16:37 AM EDT
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:17:26 AM EDT
Yes.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:20:21 AM EDT
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:21:25 AM EDT
Going strong, over 10 years.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:31:18 AM EDT

Originally Posted By RevDeadCorpse:
9 years. Love my wife. It hasn't been all smooth sailing, nor do I expect it to be.

Life is good...



Great marriage here. Financial freedom and agreement is a big key. My wife and I have our primary jobs go into one account to pay the bills/ savings/retirement/church. We both have well-paying side jobs that are our slush funds.

Her side job is 2 10 hour shifts a month at another hospital as a pharmacist.

My side job is chemistry tutoring and a little consulting work.

A clean shave, shutting the door when using the bathroom, breakfast in bed and flowers every once in a while, having her come home to a clean kitchen and a made bed and laundry in the hamper goes a looong way.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:37:00 AM EDT
Well...looks like I'm the record holder for the time being anyway...

She Who Must Be Obeyed and I have been hitched for just about 33 years.

We got married after dating for six months. We have two kids and three grands...two of whom we are raising. She was a stay at home Mommy and Navy wife for most of our marriage. She is once again a stay at home mom to take care of the latest crop of small, brain damaged people currently in our charge.

Sure we've had our problems...especially when we were young and poor. We both made some pretty big sacrifices during our lives together...but in the end they have proven to be pretty good decisions.

I guess you could infer that our marriage is pretty successful. I think it has been. We both respect each other very much. We both give a lot. Putting one's self before the family or the spouse usually leads to a painful and short relationship.

Growing old together is working out pretty well for us. I wish you all as much success.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:37:45 AM EDT
29 years, and 10 months here and my wife gets more beautiful every year.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:38:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By RevDeadCorpse:
9 years. Love my wife. It hasn't been all smooth sailing, nor do I expect it to be.

Life is good...



+1.

I wanna punch her in the mouth sometimes, but I get over it pretty fast.......
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:41:13 AM EDT
The wife & I have known each other 15+years and married for soon to be 7 years and it's the greatest! just as some have said here, the important stuff about someone is on the inside, the superficial crap is just that, crap. base a relationship on what someone looks like or what they have and it's all over. my wife & I are best friends and spend every moment together we can, we enjoy the same things and share the same interests. it's really all about the person inside, you both need to love the person inside of each other. people tell us, "we act like we're still on the honeymoon" and we tell them it's no act, we are still on the honeymoon, because with the right person it never ends!
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:41:31 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/16/2005 9:42:55 AM EDT by wildearp]
I am at 15 years married, and together years before that.

I buy guns. She buys diamonds. The world keeps turning.

She is very happy to be getting a performance exhaust for her new truck for Christmas. All I want is a nanny.....
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:42:10 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dusty_C:
Rodent and Jason280 both have great women, but IIRC neither are married. I see valuable information here.




I guess that would be interesting if the title of the thread was "Anyone actually have a good date here?"

Shacking up with some female isn't the same thing as marriage, but I guess its an easier alternative for some people.


Some of us still think traditional values, including marriage, are rather important. To answer the thread question, yes, I am very happy. The people who complain need to remember that it takes two people to fight, or two people to make things work. You can grow together, or you can grow apart, but it still takes two people to do either one.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:45:39 AM EDT
Hard Rock and I have been married just over four years. I couldn't have found a better match.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:47:26 AM EDT
Do not marry a women that has had severe sexual abuse in her past. She can not and will not get over that. Ruined my marriage.

Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:50:27 AM EDT
I suppose I haven't been at it long enought to really comment, but we've been together for 5 years, married for 2, and everything is going well.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 9:53:06 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/16/2005 9:55:00 AM EDT by fatbarrel]
I've known my wife for 16 years. We've been married for almost 13 years. Couldn't be better, we have our arguments, but I'd do it again in a minute. My friends call my wife "The Normal One"

A comedian said a few years ago that some days you love them with all your heart and some days you find yourself wondering if they'll fit in your trunk. That pretty much sums it up.

Good Luck

FB

Edit for grammer
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 10:03:02 AM EDT

24 years for me.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 10:05:20 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TheRedHorseman:
anyone who says yes is a liar



You have never been more wrong in your life.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 10:06:36 AM EDT
Been married for 15 years and I have known her for 16.5 years. We get pissed off at each other once in a while but I would not trade her for anything and she feels the same way about me most of the time. She doesn't give me grief over my firearms purchases or if I am out hunting or shooting and she is one hell of a mother to our child. Her easy going personality helps keep my type A personality in check most of the time!

This is my second marriage and I learned allot about what is important in a marriage from that train wreck!
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