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Posted: 12/14/2005 4:48:27 AM EDT
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 5:02:39 AM EDT
Still a crackhead I see...
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 5:09:19 AM EDT

Originally Posted By sandboxmedic:
Still a crackhead I see...



Yeah he's got to be the luckiest felon alive.

Link Posted: 12/14/2005 5:27:58 AM EDT
I registered over there a couple of months ago just to fuck with him, took me about 2 days to get banned.

He's retarded.



Link Posted: 12/14/2005 5:30:09 AM EDT
He ended up on an ARFOCM Arizona reugee board a while back......he didn't last. We took his wheelbarrel, his 10/22 and his .38 and sent him home with a wedgie.
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 5:33:11 AM EDT

Originally Posted By desertmoon:
He ended up on an ARFOCM Arizona reugee board a while back......he didn't last. We took his wheelbarrel, his 10/22 and his .38 and sent him home with a wedgie.



LOL.

OMG....the "Assault Wheelbarrow"....hadn't thought of that in a couple of years.....
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 5:34:14 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/14/2005 5:35:28 AM EDT by jrzy]
This one might have some possibilities.
(The containers not the rest of his whacxked out shit.)

news.silentstreakpress.com/article.php?story=20051211122857464

Pair of 40 ft ship-containers




Pair of 40 ft ship-containers with the touching ends cut out with a torch, one end buried in a dirt pile, very low cost, 25 yd indoor range, with zero worries of .22, shotgun, muzzleloader or pistol ammo escaping. With styrofoam insulation (2" thick, pretty expensive) indoors, and strawbales outside and on the roof (covered with plastic sheeting) very little of the blast would escape to notify close neighbors.


For even lower cost, use curved conduit or tubing as roof "trusses", cover everything with 2 layers of plastic, and use the straw bales as walls and one end. Use it as a greenhouse as well as a shooting range.

'with a "Lightning link" making an AR full auto, a Mac 10 and silencers for both, you can sell reloads and charge $25 for a half hour of "play", and I GUARANTEE that you will draw people to your range-shop. If you choose to take your guns on the road (advertising the full auto during the week), you can easily make $500 in a weekend, letting people blow up cinderblocks, rotted fruit, milk jugs full of cake-coloring-tinted water, etc. :-)

Naturally, you can get the Ciener 22lr unit intended for full auto use in the M16, with its detachable wt for the bolt, and with lots of 30 rd mags. Maybe not tell people about it until it looks like the centerfire ammo cost is going to make them say no. :-)

For a$10,000 investment, you can make an OK living, working only 2 days a week. PLENTY of guys would pay $50 (ammo and gun rent), to get to try out silencers and full auto, believe it. Lots of them will never own a gun, but just like the entertainment, curiousity-satisfaction element of it. Many will pay double that amount or more, too, let girl friend/wife try, etc.

As you see that this idea makes money, and talk to people, you can add the AK, the Thompson, etc, whatever trips people's trigger enough to make them want to pay to shoot.

Silencers you can make yourself, with very little cost in the way of gear. However, full auto guns or parts are very expensive, the 2 I named above are about the cheapest you can get started with.

Of course, you will need $1000 worth of commercial bullet casting gear, and another $1000 worth of Dillon 650 progressive loader, dies, etc, to keep the guns "fed" at low cost to yourself. Not a good idea to put lots of steel cased Wolf ammo thru such a full auto 223, but you could use it in the Mak, AK, etc.

If you want more of a "draw", add some Kevlar, car doors, windshields, side windows from cars, etc to be shot-at, along with an electronic shooting timer, machine rest for accuracy testing, chronograph for velocity tests, and so on. Not much extra money, and you can make such gear pay for itself in short order.

Might could even buy an old 18 wheeler, and use a couple of (pivoted in the middle) freight haulers as the noise-containment, with removable panels that you could quickly clamp into place, after parking the truck againtt a hill.

Link Posted: 12/14/2005 6:11:30 AM EDT
I have a better money making idea.....all it requires is gunkid, a very large and VERY hungry python, a medium sized venue and some judicious advertising.

Yes kids!!! SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!! Witness gunkid being eaten by a snake!!!!


Shit, the money I could make off pay per view would keep me in tacos and .233 rounds for about 50 years.
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 6:45:45 AM EDT

Originally Posted By desertmoon:
I have a better money making idea.....all it requires is gunkid, a very large and VERY hungry python, a medium sized venue and some judicious advertising.

Yes kids!!! SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!! Witness gunkid being eaten by a snake!!!!


Shit, the money I could make off pay per view would keep me in tacos and .233 rounds for about 50 years.



You know I had a similar idea using pay per view and a crack head + one med size great white shark.

You rope off and area in the open ocean say about 100 yards across.
You air/water tight seal a baseball size ball of crack cocaine.
You arm the crack head with a very large and very sharp knife (to even it up a bit)
You tie the crack to a balloon so it stays afloat and toss it into the netted off circle.
The crack head then jumps into the netted off area (hopefully voluntarily) and tries to make it to the crack and retrieve it before the shark attacks & devours him.

Did I mention not feeding the shark for a month prior to said PPV event?

If he makes it out alive he gets the crack + one million dollars.


PPV revenue?
At least 100 million!


Link Posted: 12/14/2005 8:32:45 AM EDT
Soo - never heard of this guy. I assume he is some nutjob giving others a bad name - and recommending ILLEGAL things to people.
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 8:42:45 AM EDT
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 8:53:26 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Mister44:
Soo - never heard of this guy. I assume he is some nutjob giving others a bad name - and recommending ILLEGAL things to people.



No, he just gives himself a bad name.

He's so goofy that one political / patriotic web site gave him his own forum, more or less to rope him off and keep him out of the rest of the site.

Mostly, gunkid is hilarious.
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 9:29:07 AM EDT

Originally Posted By jrzy:

Originally Posted By desertmoon:
I have a better money making idea.....all it requires is gunkid, a very large and VERY hungry python, a medium sized venue and some judicious advertising.

Yes kids!!! SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!! Witness gunkid being eaten by a snake!!!!


Shit, the money I could make off pay per view would keep me in tacos and .233 rounds for about 50 years.



You know I had a similar idea using pay per view and a crack head + one med size great white shark.

You rope off and area in the open ocean say about 100 yards across.
You air/water tight seal a baseball size ball of crack cocaine.
You arm the crack head with a very large and very sharp knife (to even it up a bit)
You tie the crack to a balloon so it stays afloat and toss it into the netted off circle.
The crack head then jumps into the netted off area (hopefully voluntarily) and tries to make it to the crack and retrieve it before the shark attacks & devours him.

Did I mention not feeding the shark for a month prior to said PPV event?

If he makes it out alive he gets the crack + one million dollars.


PPV revenue?
At least 100 million!





Jrzy.....you and me should be writing reality shows!!! We could be rich....RICH, I TELL YOU!!!!!

"Tonight, on CRACKHEAD SURVIVOR!!!!"
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 9:51:29 AM EDT

Originally Posted By desertmoon:

Originally Posted By jrzy:

Originally Posted By desertmoon:
I have a better money making idea.....all it requires is gunkid, a very large and VERY hungry python, a medium sized venue and some judicious advertising.

Yes kids!!! SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!! Witness gunkid being eaten by a snake!!!!


Shit, the money I could make off pay per view would keep me in tacos and .233 rounds for about 50 years.



You know I had a similar idea using pay per view and a crack head + one med size great white shark.

You rope off and area in the open ocean say about 100 yards across.
You air/water tight seal a baseball size ball of crack cocaine.
You arm the crack head with a very large and very sharp knife (to even it up a bit)
You tie the crack to a balloon so it stays afloat and toss it into the netted off circle.
The crack head then jumps into the netted off area (hopefully voluntarily) and tries to make it to the crack and retrieve it before the shark attacks & devours him.

Did I mention not feeding the shark for a month prior to said PPV event?

If he makes it out alive he gets the crack + one million dollars.


PPV revenue?
At least 100 million!





Jrzy.....you and me should be writing reality shows!!! We could be rich....RICH, I TELL YOU!!!!!

"Tonight, on CRACKHEAD SURVIVOR!!!!"



Yeah we would have to change sharks every so often , we can't have a bunch oh sharks running around addicted to crack heads LOL
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 9:52:55 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/14/2005 12:49:21 PM EDT by jrzy]
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 10:07:38 AM EDT

Fixed it for ya Joizey.
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 10:12:39 AM EDT
Whats the story with this guy? I miss all the good stuff!
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 12:48:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By yekimak:
www.deskpicture.com/DPs/Nature/Animals/GreatWhite.jpg
Fixed it for ya Joizey.


Hey tanks alot!
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 12:54:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/14/2005 12:58:26 PM EDT by tReznr]
.
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 12:55:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/14/2005 12:57:07 PM EDT by AbominableNo-Man]

Whats the story with this guy? I miss all the good stuff!




Gunkid, a.k.a. John Melvin Davis/andy/223fan/whatever the hell else he's calling himself these days, is a 50-something year old twit who is the king of the gunboard trolls.

He likes to pass himself off as a survival expert/gun guru and a super-hardcore "I operate above the law" type. He is a convicted felon who did time for drug charges and for manufacturing illegal suppressors. He likes to tell a story that varies about how he evaded the law for an unspecified amount of time by his wits. The details of his little E&E from the law vary depending on which account you read, but in a nutshell he failed to report to his parole officer when he got out of jail and tried to hide out at a friend's house. The cops found out where he was and called him there and he gave himself up.

He's got a very distinct writing style. The stuff he writes would be some of the funniest things you've ever read, if he wasn't so dead serious about it, and he has a HUGE ego problem. Most guys who have been around the boards a while can spot him as soon as he posts, and he's usually banned right away. He's been booted off so many boards that he had to start his own (that's the "yellowstreakpress.com" thing), and about all he does is talk to himself on it.

Do a Google search on Gunkid + idiot + prozac and you can find a ton of the crap he's written.
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 12:56:40 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/14/2005 12:57:34 PM EDT by tReznr]
.
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 1:02:33 PM EDT

Originally Posted By AbominableNo-Man:

Whats the story with this guy? I miss all the good stuff!




Gunkid, a.k.a. John Melvin Davis/andy/223fan/whatever the hell else he's calling himself these days, is a 50-something year old twit who is the king of the gunboard trolls.

He likes to pass himself off as a survival expert/gun guru and a super-hardcore "I operate above the law" type. He is a convicted felon who did time for drug charges and for manufacturing illegal suppressors. He likes to tell a story that varies about how he evaded the law for an unspecified amount of time by his wits. The details of his little E&E from the law vary depending on which account you read, but in a nutshell he failed to report to his parole officer when he got out of jail and tried to hide out at a friend's house. The cops found out where he was and called him there and he gave himself up.

He's got a very distinct writing style. The stuff he writes would be some of the funniest things you've ever read, if he wasn't so dead serious about it, and he has a HUGE ego problem. Most guys who have been around the boards a while can spot him as soon as he posts, and he's usually banned right away. He's been booted off so many boards that he had to start his own (that's the "yellowstreakpress.com" thing), and about all he does is talk to himself on it.

Do a Google search on Gunkid + idiot + prozac and you can find a ton of the crap he's written.




AbominableNo-Man
Check your IM, there's a Christmas gift for you LOL
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 2:38:52 PM EDT
jrzy,

YOU ROCK!!

I love it!!

Link Posted: 12/14/2005 3:07:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By AbominableNo-Man:
jrzy,

YOU ROCK!!

I love it!!




Who da man?

LOL
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 3:09:49 PM EDT


Link Posted: 12/14/2005 3:10:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Red_Beard:
img170.imageshack.us/img170/1069/argg4zu.jpg



yep that and more much more LOL
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 3:13:44 PM EDT

Originally Posted By jrzy:

Originally Posted By Red_Beard:
img170.imageshack.us/img170/1069/argg4zu.jpg



yep that and more much more LOL




Link Posted: 12/14/2005 3:24:12 PM EDT
After browsing that website, I've never seen so much idiocy in one place in my life. it is insane, that gunkid guy must be insane. Some of the posts you can tell are him trying to be someone else, replying to his own posts! his stories and all his "articles" are utterly rediculous and childish.

- rem

Link Posted: 12/14/2005 3:28:13 PM EDT
Check this out.....

This story isn't mine, it was sent to me by a guy on another board who also had run-ins with Gunkid. So the credit goes to him, but it's still a hilarious story.....
_________________________________________________________________________________

THE ADVENTURES OF GUNKID
PT. 1
__________________________________________________________________



The day has finally arrived when GK is once again is allowed to possess firearms. Rain falls across the entire region that day and no sunlight shows through. The air is thick and heavy as GK sits on the porch of his former halfway house. he has come to visit some old prison buds who are now out on parole. GK is bored silly as he watches the rain come down and the sheeple drive by. He thinks, "Oh well, TEOTWAWKI hasn’t come yet, but I do have my rights restored. Later tonight I’ll take the bus over to my main amigo’s hideout where I will select a gun to use in my upcoming match with the guys from ARF.com!" He sits the entire day and just before dark GK remembers he has brought a house-warming gift for his buds. He digs very deep into his assault vest…. Past the blueprints for the authentic “Dune-type” sound-weapon weirding module which he downloaded off the Internet (he’ll build one later)…. He digs past 1000’s of Marlboro miles, stolen pulltabs and lottery scratch-offs and finally past the 40 pounds of various back issues of all types of gun magazines and reloading manuals where 99.999% of all his information comes from. "This is also the perfect body armor", he laughs to himself. He finally finds his gift and hands over a brown paper bag and some gold spray paint for him and his buds to huff (the FOOLS don’t test for that). But, tonight he feels more like having a razor sharp mind when he selects his weapon of choice so he disappears into the night and gives a little giggle as he’s leaving when one of his buds goes a little too far and starts to puke. After a 45-minute bus ride across town he makes it to his buddy’s hideout only to see that local LEO’s, some hardcore S.W.A.T dudes and even a federal marshal are raiding it!

He thinks how bad this really sux and moves out towards home in total stealth mode. GK still has three options. #1) - Steal a gun. #2) – use either the M14, a mint Garand or a one-of-a-kind 8mm K98 sniper rifle that the kind old timer who he rents from said he could use (as SOON as he becomes more senile I’ll sell the guns anyway, he laughed, the FOOL) #3) - call it off which was just not an option for the likes of GK. By morning he’s only a mile from home and dead-ass tired. He spots a woman backing her car out of the garage to warm it up and then back into the house she goes. Now only 50 meters away, he sees what obviously is her bathroom light coming on. In a mad dash he takes off across the street, hops into the Lo-Jack equipped Honda Accord and heads back across town to a gun store, which he knows will have many different AR’s to steal from. Not being stupid, he parks the car a block away from the store he is about to hit and again lucks out as the LEO’s close in just minutes behind him. He enters the store – too many people, so he starts to case the joint. Some dude asks him a question about the AR he was holding and his ego takes over. He starts spewing BS but it sounds pretty good to the dude and he buys the gun. The owner takes notice and when everyone does finally leave he strikes up a conversation… more BS is spewed but the owner knows a salesman with he sees one and offers GK a job. Rather than make an honest living GK laughs almost uncontrollably at the STUPID owner, the taxpayers ALREADY take care of me he laments, why would I want a job serving LAZY and PATHETIC sheeple! They struggle and GK is able to knock him out with a blow to the head from a spare 12ga. barrel. He grabs the owner’s car keys, some ammo, and the cash. On his way out he grabs enough goodies to make what he feels will be an improved version of the already perfect weapon - the 11” CAR-15. Oh he could have grabbed any number of HK’s or FAL’s, but that would be too easy for him. He piles 150 pounds of stolen good into the truck and disappears to his secret command center/workshop/hideout to build the ultimate canned, short-barreled match rifle.

Link Posted: 12/14/2005 3:46:57 PM EDT
THE ADVENTURES OF GUNKID
PT. 2
__________________________________________________________________________-

…. By now GK has been up for over 24 hours and his already shaky judgement is fading even further. He slams down the last bottle of river water he collected, back when he was forced to pull over due to severe dysentery. He also found some honeybee boxes but that didn’t turn out so good. Now full of bee-stings, he still manages to feign a breakdown, RIGHT at his secret hideout location under the bridge and not even attract suspicion. He marvels at his tactical genius, but still, he has had the truck for over 2 ½ hours now and he wasn’t all that far from the original crime scene. Having already stashed his goods, GK now heads out to make a little dough as he has decided to sell the truck rather than just ditch it. He pulls up to the first farmhouse he sees and feigns another breakdown. GK finds the farmer and spews all sorts of baffling mechanical BS on the poor guy. He somehow convinces him that he is sick of his truck breaking down and it’s no longer good for anything but parts… GK scores $150 and a FREE ride back to his rental pad, just above the corner bar where he does his best thinking. Absolutely loaded with dough from the truck sale AND the hit on the gun store, GK proceeds to get completely trashed before he finally stumbles upstairs to his apartment, never realizing that the bartender had swindled him out of $50 bucks.
…. Sleeping for close to day, GK finally wakes up in a foul mood. He blew almost $200 playing pool, and dropped another $100 on booze, but hey, he still had over $500 and the welfare check came tomorrow. Time to make the final $200 payment to Gus, his car-dealer/insurance agent buddy and take home his red 1974 Pinto wagon, complete with assault rack up top, factory installed assault-style bumper push bars and even the original owners manual! Later he would trick it out like all his vehicles, certain “things” he had learned while incarcerated. Like, really the windshield washer pump SHOULD be used for spraying a synthetic 80-90w differential fluid out the back, which gets on the pursuing car’s windshield, they hit the wipers and can’t see. GK knew ALL these little tricks but those things would have to wait, he needed to assemble his ultimate match rifle in a mere day, as his match with HardRock was fast approaching.

…. With all haste, GK speeds off to the country to his secret hideout under the bridge where his goods are stashed. It was time for GK to find out if all those books he’d looked at the pictures in were really going to pay off. He decided to bring all his info he’d collected on AR’s, cans, the works, and load it into his Pinto. It now carried an additional 900 pounds of junk and was starting to smoke. He feigned another breakdown (which actually looked very realistic) and ducked below the bridge to begin working. A few hours later after GK finally finds his stuff he starts to work but the mosquitoes were eating him up and he decides to bug out, so to speak. He would have to risk taking the stolen goods back to his pad, he would have to work ALL night and then drive to the range the next afternoon where he would SHOW the world how they had FAILED to see his genius. He finally loads up all his stolen gear and also some big rocks, which he thinks, are worth a small fortune. This adds another 450 pounds to the Pinto which is now getting a little light in the front end but it is proving to be one stout little assault vehicle.


…. As GK is driving back to his pad he’s hit with a stroke of genius! His good buddy, CarKid, is only a few miles away and owes him a big favor for tending to his meth lab while he spent a few weeks in jail for violating a protection order. GK figures he will assemble his ultimate weapon at his buddy’s shop while his buddy modifies the Pinto into a true armored assault vehicle. The place is total chaos, junk everywhere, but no customers at least. The two geniuses disagree on how the car should look when finished so they finally decide to watch a stolen video of the “Gauntlet”. They fast-forward to the part where Clint armor plates the bus and then drives into the city where it’s assaulted with ten’s of thousands of rounds and just keeps right on crawling along – THAT is what GK wants! They figure the Pinto’s rusted out chassis will only handle around 1-ton of ¼” and ½” plate so they choose the locations wisely. #1) – must plate the radiator and slot some holes for air movement, the engine too. #2) – must protect the gas tank (saw that on 60 Minutes) #3) – must protect the driver and team (common sense). Now all that’s left would be to torch out some assault/escape hatches and add some skid plates to the undercarriage. If GK had time, he would personally would tweak on the engine a little and reroute the washer fluid pump to the back of the car. CarKid also had some fix-a-flat cans so they decided to run it in the tires right away, just incase someone actually did score a lucky hit past the oversized plated hubcaps.
…..Now GK finally has the time to work on his baby. He starts with a fully assembled AR in NIB condition. He is satisfied with the lower, but as he pilfers through the remaining stolen goodies, he finally realizes all of the stuff he’s grabbed in haste is for the Mini14 which totally pisses him off. He will also need to fabricate his own suppressor – NP for the likes of GK. He looks around the shop for a while… lots of various threaded pipes, but these were already slated for pipe bomb duty. Hmmmmm, there in the corner he spots a burned out 16” glass-packed muffler with 2 1/4” inlet/outlet. Perfect he glows, well maybe a bit front heavy BUT if anything it would help steady his shots once he rigged a bipod to the truly king-sized suppressor. GK continues to rummage around and comes across some cash his buddy has hidden which he quickly pockets, as CarKid is not paying attention, still busy with the Pinto. Some old aluminum lawn chair legs will do nicely for the bipod and in short order his front is ready. Checking the progress on the Pinto, GK is satisfied that his instructions are being followed and fetches some JB weld, which his buddy has been using to seam the armor plating. A few reducers from old exhaust systems and GK has the muffler (which says THRUSH, and has the angry woodpecker logo) fitted reasonably square. Now to add gobs of JB weld and a few small screws and he’ll be ready to test-fire the well over 4’ long ARGK-15M when it does finally dry. With things going better than planned, GK decides to “lean” on his engine – just a little. He deduces that due to high miles, the timing belt has stretched greatly and now the motor is probably late, better bump the timing up just a tad… ¼ turn past hand tight on the cap should suffice, or was that the oil filter? He couldn’t remember so he turns it until it runs REALLY smooth at idle! Now to ditch the oil-soaked air cleaner from all the blow-by so it can breath again. He is pretty bummed out when he finds out the washer pump is shot, but hey, NOONE is perfect.

….. CarKid runs out of acetylene just before dark so they officially call the Pinto job complete. It now is totally bottomed out on its suspension and starts very hard, but it DOES idle better. GK decides his rifle is ready to fire when he spots a whitetail and her two fawns some 350 meters across the field. The Pinto is now the ideal gun platform because it no longer rocks and sways on its suspension. Popping out the top assault hatch, GK lays the ARGK-15M long-gun across the roof and squints through the open sights (almost blocked now by the THRUSH) he can barely make out the fawns against the brushy background. THUD, he sees the bullet hit the dirt some 200 meters out and 40 yards to the right. WTF he thinks! THUD, THUD, WTF, more rounds tumble into the dirt along with a huge shower of rust and debris. GK unloads on the deer, spraying rounds wildly, towards the end he lands one close enough to spook the doe and away they all go. Must be the cheap military ball he had stolen, the softpoints he had in his vest would do the trick. Rather than go home tonight, GK decides to sleep in the Pinto, as CarKid will be his spotter tomorrow at the big match. The two get completely wasted watching bugs get zapped and fall asleep just before dawn.

Link Posted: 12/14/2005 3:52:53 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/14/2005 3:54:07 PM EDT by AbominableNo-Man]
…. Sleep is not kind to GK this morning. Dark visions of various .30 cals. Slamming home hits at well over 1000 yards fill his warped little mind. One of those awful dreams where you run, but just don’t seem to get anywhere. Oh he WAS making shot after shot alright, STRONG-hand, OFF-hand, UPSIDE-down, EVEN blind-folded and backwards but all to no avail. HardRock out-paced him at every turn and defeat was eminent. Lucky for his frail ego, he awakes to the smell of smoke as CarKid’s meth lab has caught fire again. It’s pretty minor damage and the two agree that now they’re getting hungry. GK decides to take out one of the many chickens that are running around the compound and provide breakfast. He grabs the ARGK-15M and awkwardly lumbers towards one, at a few meters he cuts loose with more military ball and completely annihilates it. This sends his ego through the roof and now he’s SO ready he can’t wait! They woof-down the half-cooked bird, gather some gear, and bug out in the Pinto to pick up two more of GK’s buds who will cover his six at the range today.
….. GK soon finds out the Pinto now pings badly and runs a little hot, but still acceptable he feels. He also is a little bummed because the clutch won’t hold in 4th gear! Maybe just a little too much weight, but hey, 3rd was working FINE and he would never get a speeding ticket this way. They circle one particular section of farmland a few times and finally pull into an open field where he shuts the car off. GK has already warned his bud not to open the door or roll down the window as he would be shot from possibly up to 1 mile away by is bud SniperKid. Also, he was not to ask SniperKid any questions. They sit for maybe an hour when suddenly the guy in the poorly made ghillie suit they’d been watching for 50 minutes, starts to sloth his way towards the car. GK acts like he didn’t see the dude when he’s finally confronted, not wanting to piss off a trained killer like SniperKid who uses the 10/22 and subsonic ammo. They are running late so GK puts the hammer down, only one bud left to hook up with. He digs through is assault vest to find the directions to the range but they are not there? No matter, he pretty much remembers where it is. It opened a full 3 hours before the match if anyone wanted to practice, they could. GK knew this was foolish and he didn’t need it, his super-hotloaded soft point .223 thumpers were practically self guided, he could almost “will” them into the target! FFFF this military ball he thought, the poor shooting at the deer was a COMPLETE fluke, really. After stopping twice for gas water and oil, they finally pull into the parking lot of an abandon warehouse and GK gives a complex signal with the assault horns on the Pinto. An older dude with a shabby beard eventually strolls out, looking confidant though, and GK introduces him as WiseGuy. They head out now for what GK believes is the way to the range and a BIG adventure!

…. Clearly lost now and well over two hours late, GK is getting worried! The Assault Pinto is holding up ok even though some of the armor plating has rattled loose. Still, he can’t help but wonder what happened to the note with the directions, date and time of day that he tucked into his tactical assault vest. He begins to quiz himself for answers. Took the paper out when I did laundry? Noooo, I don’t wash my clothes he laughs. Slipped out of the assault vest during commando self-training? NO, FFF’N, way, he makes himself laugh even harder. Memorized the info and then destroyed the note? (later forgot) Hmmm, that makes sense to GK so he quits thinking because he’s quickly given himself a headache. Just when he finally feels he’s screwed and about ready to call it quits, by some incredible stroke of luck SniperKid starts flashing hand-signals, which tells GK they are VERY close now. Knowing that SniperKid possesses total 6th-sense combat juju, he slows the assault Pinto down to half-impulse power or 20mph. SniperKid opens the hatchback and rolls out the back, much like a scuba-driver would roll off a boat. He attempts to tumble but is unsuccessful and when he finally gets his wind back, he limps into the woods with his mostly-destroyed ghillie suit and his trusty 10/22 with subsonic ammo. GK continues down the road unfazed and immediately spots the entrance to the range only 1/4-mile dead ahead. HE is freak’n STOKED! He starts RANTING and BLABBERING uncontrollably, now exchanging BS with WiseGuy at an incredible rate. Knowing there is NO finite amount of crap to be unloaded on each other, they both get even further jacked-up as they prepare to go to war. CarKid is still out cold, trying to sleep off a 3-day meth-making run and GK figures he will be pretty much WORTHLESS as a spotter. WiseGuy will need to carry the load and do his usual advanced recon, plus, now he will have to spot as well, jeez, GK thinks, this will be spendy but WTF, you only go around five or six times.
…. They pull in and GK spots what looks like an undercover SWAT van, he’s seen them before, but he figures nah, besides, he’s legal now and he’s taken a die-grinder to all the visible serial numbers on the ARGK-15M. He drives past some local LEO’s and maybe a couple of FED’s but still he’s not worried. This IS a range he scoffs. Meanwhile, HardRock and some other people have been laughing at SniperKid who is trying to sloth his way across the range with his ghillie suit. It’s pretty clear he is trying to take up what he thinks will be a good position some 500 meters out to cover GK’s six. Two dudes watching this charade, decide to flank SniperKid and brain him if he so much as twitches. GK finally sees everybody, he gets nervous and can’t decide where to park so he tries to be cool and pull up right next to where everyone is standing. He drives right through the only low spot in the lawn and TOTALLY buries his 2 1/2-ton assault Pinto. He CURSES for all he’s worth and slams the wheel with his fists!!! He starts grabbing gears and going nowhere! Sending 30’ roostertails of mud into the air and everywhere…. All the while people are laughing at him which pisses him off to no END! Not accepting that he’s completely stuck, he smokes the clutch and heats the flywheel to the point if he does get someone to pull him out he probably won't be going too far. His dysentery is still bothering him and his eyes are still a little swollen from all the bee stings, other then THAT, the day is turning out just FINE! GK hastily wakes up CarKid and orders him to ready-up the ARGK-15M and instructs WiseGuy to go out and find him a $hitter as his butt-cheeks are already in fully clenched mode!.... GK will wait in the Pinto for now.

Link Posted: 12/14/2005 4:05:30 PM EDT
…. Eeeeyooowwwweee&#$&%, GK is cramping and in SERIOUS pain! He’s pretty sure there’s a fart hanging around too, but no WAY is he going to risk THAT. Besides, he hasn’t soiled himself for?…. well, he can’t quite remember (its been so long) but he’s pretty sure it’s been at LEAST a full month – no reason to break my record now he laughs. Sweat rains off his forehead, he strains and squeezes for all he’s worth but GK soon realizes that he won’t be able to hold his mud for much longer. He starts to ponder how he got this cursed dysentery – anything to pass the time while he waits for WiseGuy to return from $hitter recon. Finally a dim light bulb comes on and he realizes it MUST be the water he’s been drinking. Well, NO more chlorinated tap water for me he promises, from now on, GK will drink ONLY from the slow-moving backwater area of the river he recently found, which also happens to be only a few hundred meters downstream from the turkey barns where he often grabs a FREE meal. (Well, only if he gets there before the rendering truck arrives, the live birds are just too strong and quick) Now that he’s solved that problem…. Ooohhhhhhh man, he’s hit with another massive cramp! This one has him twisting and squirming on the floor of the Pinto. Where the F&^%** is that WiseGuy he pleads to himself? After what seems like an eternity and probably a few years off his life, GK hears a tap, tap, tap on the window of the Assault Pinto. He Snap-turns his neck and gives himself a stinger, which runs all the way down his arm and numbs his grubby little fingers. WiseGuy flashes a hand signal (well actually he simply points) and GK is off like he’s shot out of a cannon. He marks the location of the portable toilets and closes in at break-neck speed… only 200 meters now, she’s very close, down to 150, 75, 10, man he can almost smell the chemical treatment…..all the while his crazy little legs are doing a strange duck-walk deal as he’s forced to run a little funny. He slams into the door of $hitter #1 and almost knocks it over. AHHHHHHHH, IN-USE!!!!! Down the line GK goes! #2 – OUT OF ORDER, #3 – IN-USE. SCREW IT, back to #2 and in he goes ***No need to go into graphic detail here, lets just say that he actually made it.***
…. Inside GK thinks to himself, Out of order my ass, seems FINE to me, the idiot grounds keeper. OH but LITTLE does GK know the grounds keeper is NOT an idiot at all. He is a kind man and has made his way over to WiseGuy and begins to tell him that…. WiseGuy immediately cuts him off with a hand gesture and says, “he knows what he’s doing bro, leave him be, he is GK and you would do well to respect his genius for ONE day HE shall RULE the WORLD”. Suit yourself thinks the helpful grounds keeper and off he goes to fetch a tractor – somebody has to get this piece of junk off his lawn. Back inside GK’s sanctuary there is no TP on the cylinder, but GK has that covered. He carries a few rolls of TP in his assault vest med. kit to be used as a field dressing if he’s ever hit in battle. He’s just about to start unzipping compartments when he hears something, then he feels something bounce off the back of his melon. Now the sound gets louder, and louder, GK is stricken with fear!! The deafening roar of BZZZZZZZZZZZ fills his blue poly-castle! Oh Yes, THESE are not honey bees either, THESE are ferocious and VERY angry yellow jackets who have made a massive nest, just above his head. OMG he screams! The ONLY thing on the range that has outscored HardRock this day are the yellow jackets, They are landing hits on GK the likes of which NOONE has ever seen. In total panic, GK hikes his britches past his belly button and gives himself the ultimate wedgie. He stumbles out the door, awash with hornets and already swollen beyond recognition. Again, someone saves his sorry ass by hosing him down from a safe distance (which is cool because he gets a free shower). When the paramedics finally arrive they stick him over and over with epi pens and he eventually starts to come around. Little does GK know it only goes downhill from here.

…. Scores of curious sharpshooters who witnessed the vicious attack have now encircled GunKid, this includes some local LEO’s, undercover SWAT dudes and some FED’s. (GK pegged all of them right away but was too arrogant to think they’d DARE F%#$@ with the like of HIM!). Normally, all this attention would trigger his defective BS spewing gene but the ordeal with the yellow jackets has left him weak and subdued. He lies on his back; the tiny slits where his beady eyes usually are now stare blankly into the sun and drool spills from his slack jaw. WiseGuy sees this and gives him a kick to the ribs, which at least gets GK to blink a few times. Later this month GK will undergo corrective eye-surgery in the capable hands of WiseGuy, so he has a vested interest in him and doesn’t want GK to fry his eyes out before HE gets the chance to try. WiseGuy has saved for a long time and managed to come up with $5.59 to score a really cool pen-laser from the isles of Wal-Mart – he can EVEN make different designs on the ceiling and GK has decided to go with the unicorn for his new pupil shape. The paramedics are amazed that he survived at all, a MERE mortal should have been killed, BUT, they don’t know GK, he has been through MUCH worse. Let’s see…. there was the time he got SO drunk, he actually tipped his bartender a quarter. There was the time he had to go to Church and attend a wedding. And the WORST was the time he FOOLISHLY said he was SORRY and ADMITTED he was WRONG (all for the sake of a woman who you may meet if there ever is a part II). The paramedics leave, knowing they will never get a dime out of him so they don’t even try. GK is mumbling to himself now and is trying to sit up; at this point nobody really knows what to do. He is in absolutely no shape for a match and if he were smart he’d take the easy out. His opponent has already posted as promised - 100% at 700 yards, and a little better than he figured at 1000 yards, scoring 93%. GK is a little scared of that 93% but he KNOWS that he can EASILY beat 100% at a MERE 700 yards, jeeez! GK has seen the movie Spinal Tap and knows that if those CLOWNS can get their amps to go up to 11, than HE can SURELY find a way to beat 100%. He musters up a weak grin at the thought and now that he’s amusing himself again, he begins to feel better. Now where’s CarKid?
…. CarKid has done just as GK ordered and readied-up the ARGK-15M which consisted of buffing the THRUSH with some Turtle Wax and checking the torque on the drywall screws which he uses to secure the bipod to the KING of all cans. CarKid then fell back asleep and has no idea what happened to GK. There is so much armor plating covering the Pinto’s cab that it stays pretty dark inside but it’s also hotter than hell without the assault A/C running! While CarKid has been sleeping the groundskeeper has been busy hooking up his beloved old Super H to the back of the Pinto which scares the crap out of CarKid when he’s yanked out of the mud. CarKid pops out one of the many assault/escape hatches (the doors are welded shut) and begins to inspect the damage on the Assault Pinto. Hmmm, looks pretty minor, the skid plates have done their job, but the entire exhaust system has been torn off and it’s going to be loud. GK is now crawling towards the Pinto and by the looks of him they will need to modify the sighting system on the ARGK-15M as he can barely see. GK is way ahead of the game though; he has already instructed WiseGuy to run ahead and inform CarKid that he must hand over the Mercedes Benz (Tri-Star) emblem that he wears as a necklace. GK has a brilliant idea!!! He will JB weld the emblem to the top of the THRUSH and aim it like a twin-50 mounted on the stern of an old WWII tin can. He is MORE than capable of QUICKLY learning his new aiming system and needs no practice shots. His plan is pretty simple. He will need (2) shots to get close, by his third shot, he will have found his mark. Missing ONLY a couple should still allow him to beat HardRock’s MERE 100% at 700 yards, as GK has it figured, he can miss 3, maybe 4 times and still win.

…. CarKid mixes up some JB weld and shows GK where to weld it on; his vision is really impaired by the swelling and he’s not really sure what the F&%#$#% he’s doing but at this point he’s in WAY too deep to stop. He makes a total mess and gets the crap all over his fingers, clothes, receiver, stock, trigger, his face, his hair…. Everywhere. While GK waits for his piece de` resistance to dry he decides to take inventory of the .223 soft points he will use for the big match. GK has conveniently color-coded his rounds with women’s fingernail polish for intensity level with a secondary function of sealing the warhead and primer pocket. The color codes go as follows. LEVEL #1) – purple passion, a super hot load that will make the average AR kick about the same as most .308 bolt action hunting rifles. LEVEL #2) – purple haze, a devastating API “softpoint” and LEVEL #3) – plumb crazy which basically means hang the F*&% on and is guaranteed to eliminate the need to compensate for drift and trajectory out to 1000 yards (all of this in GK’s mind of course). He selects LEVEL #3 to begin with and soon it will be time to SHOW the WORLD his true genius!!

The LEO’s are here to do MUCH more than just sharpen their shooting skills. When GK knocked over the gun store a few days back, the impossible happened. His note that contained the range location, date, and time of day fell out of his assault vest during his scuffle with the gun shop owner. The cops knew all they had to do was wait him out. The gun shop owner told them simply to “look for the guy you’d like to shoot in the kneecaps” – it was all too easy for the LEO’s to spot him and GK has even managed to get most of them laughing at him too. All they have to do now is bag him, but they figure they’ll let him humiliate himself one last time before he goes back to prison.
…. GunKid finally figures he’s ready; the moment off truth has arrived. WiseGuy points him in the general direction and he staggers towards the shooting stations with the ARGK-15M in tow. The undercover SWAT dudes who have been waiting to brain SkiperKid have radioed in that he’s now moved off and is in hot pursuit of some butterflies.

As GK makes his way towards his last stand, he imagines scores of people chanting his name. GunKid, GunKid, Maximus, Spaniard…. He kind of sees himself as a cross between Fonzie, the Toe Cutter, William Wallace and Maximus – without all the dying BS. GK reaches the spot where he will work his magic and CarKid gets him aimed in the right direction. GK yells out, RANGE?!? “That would be 700 yards” answers the referee as he shakes his head in disbelief and backs up a little further. Next, GK yells out…. "HOW WINDY IS IT?" WiseGuy lights a bottle rocket, trying to time its ignition, and tosses it into the air. It reaches the apex long before it fires and winds up launching back towards earth and into a crowd of people. “Ahhh, pretty windy sir”, answers WiseGuy sheepishly. No Matter, GunKid is ready, he takes aim and jerks the trigger. KAABOOOOM!!! A massive fireball erupts and curls the end of his can like you would see in a cartoon. There is burning insulation, some 75 meters downrange, which was further than the melted softpoint tumbled. The ARGK-15M has suffered multiple failures in all its key systems (basically he junked it on the first shot) GunKid can’t believe it, he’s done, he’s toast, its OVER, and he begins to cry which is almost inaudible against the background chorus of laughter. The LEO’s move in and take him down which further blows his mind and has him moving his fingers over his lips, making that BEBEBEBEBEBE sound we all did as kids. Since CarKid and WiseGuy really haven’t done anything illegal, they will be allowed to go home if they take the assault Pinto with them. GK is stuffed into a police cruiser, now hysterically laughing. They drive off into the sunset and somewhere, far off in a distant corner of the universe, a scale tips every so slightly back towards all that is just!
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 4:13:45 PM EDT
i hope there is more b/c that was funny as hell
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 4:37:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Red_Beard:





Gene Hackman is Gunkid?
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 5:56:56 AM EDT
having the sad misfortune of being exposed to gunkid since about 1998 I could only read part one of the article.....and that was TOO much...maybe later....


and that SHARK PIC SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME EVERY TIME I SEE IT!!!!


that has to be one of the spookiest pics EVER!!!
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