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Posted: 12/13/2005 7:57:07 AM EDT
I had this brought up to me by an older gentlemen years ago when I was a teenager. It taught me a lesson. I learned to say "your welcome" more and to pay attention and see what people answer.
I challenge you all to listen for it and to be more conscientious about it in the future.

The issue comes up when you are talking with someone and YOU say

"thanks" or "thank you for your help" or "thanks for that", etc... (you get the idea)

Now this could be in any setting such as work, buying something, asking for help at the supermarket to find an item, talking to someone over the phone, etc.

See what the answer is for a day or so when you do this. Say thank you to people in some form or other and I will bet that 9 times out of 10 you get the same reply from them.

What is that reply???

<­BR>



They will say: NO PROBLEM.

it seems to have gotten to be the norm.

What does that mean or imply...it means you weren't a bother to them or they didn't mind doing it.
Now would the proper reply be YOUR WELCOME. I think so and I always try and instill it in my kids for sure. Try it and see what you get.

Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:01:35 AM EDT
I say it when I hold the door for someone and they don't say thank you or anything.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:03:56 AM EDT
How about when someone is supposed to thank YOU and they instead think you're supposed to thank THEM.

Cashiers at stores do that to me all the time. They're supposed to thank me for coming to their store... not the other way around.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:04:31 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/13/2005 8:07:02 AM EDT by olyarms]
I don't expect to be thanked. Ill usually just say not needed when some one thanks me. I guess it might be rude but I dont expect thank for holding a door and such.

ETA: And the no problem I rather like, means anytime. Your welcome just simply says I acknowledge your comment.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:09:53 AM EDT
The correct response is, "You're welcome". Flame suit on for being a spelling nazi....
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:10:40 AM EDT

Originally Posted By IAMLEGEND:
I say it when I hold the door for someone and they don't say thank you or anything.



Me too. I've pissed off a few people for doing that too. I can't stand overtly rude fuckers.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:10:46 AM EDT
i usually just say "sure"

as in "sure, any time."
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:13:30 AM EDT

Originally Posted By macman37:
How about when someone is supposed to thank YOU and they instead think you're supposed to thank THEM.

Cashiers at stores do that to me all the time. They're supposed to thank me for coming to their store... not the other way around.


THAT is the big problem, not someone saying, "no prob"...i think that signifies that it was no problem serving you, they were glad to do it. that's what i wanna think anyway!
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:14:07 AM EDT

Originally Posted By macman37: Cashiers at stores... they're supposed to thank me for coming to their store... not the other way around.


How very true!!!
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:16:48 AM EDT
I like "No problem". "Think nothing of it, it was no bother at all" is what I think is implied.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:18:52 AM EDT

Originally Posted By bblake00:

Originally Posted By IAMLEGEND:
I say it when I hold the door for someone and they don't say thank you or anything.



Me too. I've pissed off a few people for doing that too. I can't stand overtly rude fuckers.



Either that or I will say "thank you" to them. Most of them just give that puzzled look.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:20:09 AM EDT

Originally Posted By IAMLEGEND:
I say it when I hold the door for someone and they don't say thank you or anything.




That pisses me off. 9 out of ten times it's a woman who doesn't say anything, like i'm supposed to hold the door for her.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:20:22 AM EDT
I have about 25 people thank me at work everyday since I am constantly being asked for favors, I just say "No Problem" because it is habit more than anything else.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:24:45 AM EDT

Originally Posted By hardcorps1775:

Originally Posted By macman37:
How about when someone is supposed to thank YOU and they instead think you're supposed to thank THEM.

Cashiers at stores do that to me all the time. They're supposed to thank me for coming to their store... not the other way around.


THAT is the big problem, not someone saying, "no prob"...i think that signifies that it was no problem serving you, they were glad to do it. that's what i wanna think anyway!



I say no problem all the time, to me it's the same thing as saying you're welcome
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:27:30 AM EDT
Around here it is more likely to be "I got ur back dogg"...
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:27:46 AM EDT

Originally Posted By bblake00:

Originally Posted By IAMLEGEND:
I say it when I hold the door for someone and they don't say thank you or anything.



Me too. I've pissed off a few people for doing that too. I can't stand overtly rude fuckers.


i used to do that too, but i don't anymore. i just try to tell myself to be happy i did the right thing.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:28:42 AM EDT
I try to tailor my response to the situation. Rather than just a rote "you're welcome", I might say "no problem", or "anytime", or "think nothing of it", or "happy to do it" or any of a number of responses.

To me, repeating two words that your parents taught you is only the minimum politeness required. It is even more polite to actually address the specific situation involved. Sometimes it requires the formalness of "you're welcome" and sometimes its more meaningful to just give a "no prob, dude".
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:28:47 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/13/2005 8:29:16 AM EDT by fight4yourrights]

No one says "your welcome" anymore...




That is because that makes NO SENSE


The phrase is: "You're Welcome"

Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:30:17 AM EDT

Originally Posted By CbtEngr1:
I had this brought up to me by an older gentlemen years ago when I was a teenager. It taught me a lesson. I learned to say "your welcome" more and to pay attention and see what people answer.
I challenge you all to listen for it and to be more conscientious about it in the future.

The issue comes up when you are talking with someone and YOU say

"thanks" or "thank you for your help" or "thanks for that", etc... (you get the idea)

Now this could be in any setting such as work, buying something, asking for help at the supermarket to find an item, talking to someone over the phone, etc.

See what the answer is for a day or so when you do this. Say thank you to people in some form or other and I will bet that 9 times out of 10 you get the same reply from them.

What is that reply???

<­BR>



They will say: NO PROBLEM.

it seems to have gotten to be the norm.

What does that mean or imply...it means you weren't a bother to them or they didn't mind doing it.
Now would the proper reply be YOUR WELCOME. I think so and I always try and instill it in my kids for sure. Try it and see what you get.




Thank you for the reminder.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:34:58 AM EDT
Wait a minute...., I say "your welcome" all the time.........

<­BR>

Of course it's mostly to rude folks who don't have the brain cells or the class to say "Thank you" in the first place.

For instance, I hold the door open for someone and they walk right on it, yacking on their portable micro-wave unit glued to their ear, as if it was my job............., rather loudly I say "YOUR WELCOME!"

Mike


ps - some don't even have the character to acknowledge I've said anything, but I don't let that bother me as it's comforting to know for a fact that those folks (who spend half their day with an ear glued to their cell phone) will be dead or seriously ill within ten years by their own stupidity; and brain tumors ain't nuthin to die from IMO.

don't believe it??????

Ever ask yourself why the the largest insurers on the planet (Loyds of london, etc..) will write NO policies whatsoever protecting cell phone manufacturers from lawsuits brought against them from health problems associated with cell phone use?

(most these company's were nearly bankrupted over the "tobacco" lawsuits) Which should tell ya something.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:37:11 AM EDT
Thats because people suck.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 9:57:51 AM EDT
I'm a "no problem" or "mmm hmmm" or "yup" responder.

The same thing was brought up to me by an older friend of mine as well. Didn't seem to sink in enough to change what I say though.

I don't see how it's rude if I'm the one being thanked for doing something "un"rude in the first place.

I suppose if I'm in a more formal environment I might use the more appropriate response, but in a casual environment, like a Wal-Mart, I don't see the big deal.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 10:08:35 AM EDT

Originally Posted By pathfinder74:
I'm a "no problem" or "mmm hmmm" or "yup" responder.

The same thing was brought up to me by an older friend of mine as well. Didn't seem to sink in enough to change what I say though.

I don't see how it's rude if I'm the one being thanked for doing something "un"rude in the first place.

I suppose if I'm in a more formal environment I might use the more appropriate response, but in a casual environment, like a Wal-Mart, I don't see the big deal.



Yup
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 10:15:39 AM EDT

Originally Posted By fight4yourrights:

No one says "your welcome" anymore...



That is because that makes NO SENSE


The phrase is: "You're Welcome"


i10.photobucket.com/albums/a150/fight4yourrights/Online%20Pics/Mousepad65-nazi.jpg



Well if we all really wanted to be pissy about a misspelled word in a place or two on a forum where people regularly use acronyms like IBTL IBTP or whatever, then we could pick on your grammatical usage and say that you have no clue how to put punctuation at the end of a sentence. But we forgot you are perfect.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 10:17:48 AM EDT
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 10:19:09 AM EDT
I agree that "you're welcome" is rarely used. However, the words that are truly dead are "excuse me". People flat out refuse to say that one anymore. I can't even remember the last time I heard it.

-Jason M
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 10:21:24 AM EDT
I will say, "You're welcome," "Don't mention it," "de nada," or "Thank YOU for the opportunity to help," as appropriate.

The only time I say, "your welcome," is when I say, "You've overstayed your welcome, asshat. GTFO!"
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 10:31:06 AM EDT

I wonder how much of it is a cultural thing....

The c-stores near where I live have all gone to Indian owners/cashiers and these guys NEVER say hi, nor do they ever say thank you.
I think it's horribly rude, and no longer frequent their businesses.

Link Posted: 12/13/2005 10:39:10 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Paul:
Originally Posted By Chuckstar:
If someone says "fuck you" to me I'm cleaning their clock.



You're a horologist?



Link Posted: 12/13/2005 10:39:34 AM EDT
I say "you're welcome" if they really are welcome. I.e., I was glad to inconvenience myself for them. If I had to do something I would rather not have done, I say "no problem". It's much worse to say "you're welcome" when you don't really mean it.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:26:47 PM EDT
Yeah, I've noticed that in people under 30. I had one college kid who damn near bumped into me, without saying Excuse Me, or anything of the sort, at the Local Block Buster, when he and his girl friend came back down the Aisle I strategically completely blocked his way and pulled the same crap on him (ie. he didn't exist), then I hear in the faintest of voices.."Uh...uh...excuse....me...uh.."

To top it off he was dressed like shit, never heard of an Iron, pants hanging down showing the crack of his ass available for any Butt Pirate, Unshaven, wearing a knit cap, really pathetic looking.

He had a nice looking girl friend though. I sort of wondered if she was desperate or just plain stupid for putting up with the Loser.

Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:35:59 PM EDT

Originally Posted By macman37:
How about when someone is supposed to thank YOU and they instead think you're supposed to thank THEM.

Cashiers at stores do that to me all the time. They're supposed to thank me for coming to their store... not the other way around.





That really pisses me off, when a cashier hands me my change and does not say anything. VERY rarely do cashiers say thank you. I usually give them a sarcastic "your welcome".
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:36:24 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/13/2005 8:37:42 PM EDT by DK-Prof]

Originally Posted By JasonM33:


However, the words that are truly dead are "excuse me". People flat out refuse to say that one anymore. I can't even remember the last time I heard it.



Actually, people say that all the time.

But they say it with a different inflection, and a quite a bit of attitude - so it now means "get the fuck out of my way, assface!"



btw - I do say "you're welcome" if someone thanks me for holding the door or some courtesy in public, but when it's someone I know, if they are thanking me for a favor or something, I tend to say "no problem"
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:42:25 PM EDT
I use the words "excuse me" almost daily. I also say either "you're welcome" or "any time."
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:44:18 PM EDT
I am struck by how over polite we in America can be sometimes, especially compared to Asian/European countries.

After living overseas for a bit, I came back, and found myself surprised that whenever I see an acquaintance, they go

"how are you?"
"good(?)"
*runs away*

apparently, the right answer is

"good, how are YOU?!"
"good thank you!"
"bullshit and fluff blah blah blah"
"blah blah"
*after 5 minutes*

"ok bye!"

Link Posted: 12/13/2005 8:45:23 PM EDT
Manners in modern day society is GONE.

Its a "Fuck You and Hooray for me world"

Next time start with the lowest forms of life and MAYBE they will learn manners.

When you are at the drive thru and they give you your order... Say "Thank You" and watch the piece of shit say NOTHING and close the window... THEN bang on the window to get his or her attention and tell them "Excuse me but some manners would be nice! When a patron says THANK YOU you SHOULD learn to answer them!"

TRUE STORY!! I was at a drive thru at Carls Jr. I SWEAR the kid taking my order had that attitude of "Hey, If I am professional, Maybe I'll be the next CEO of Carls Jr." This kid must have been 18 or so and VERY courteous. I swear I called corporate and told them "Hey, this may sound wierd but I ACTUALLY have a compliment about one of your employees" told them date time and what I ordered and that they should pat this kid on the back for a good job.
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 5:22:45 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DrFrige:
TRUE STORY!! I was at a drive thru at Carls Jr. I SWEAR the kid taking my order had that attitude of "Hey, If I am professional, Maybe I'll be the next CEO of Carls Jr." This kid must have been 18 or so and VERY courteous. I swear I called corporate and told them "Hey, this may sound wierd but I ACTUALLY have a compliment about one of your employees" told them date time and what I ordered and that they should pat this kid on the back for a good job.



That's good to hear.

Around here, Chick-Fil-A restaurants stand out for having courteous, efficient employees. Since they're drawing from the same employee pool as other fast food places, that indicates good management.

Link Posted: 12/14/2005 5:48:26 AM EDT

Originally Posted By JasonM33:
I agree that "you're welcome" is rarely used. However, the words that are truly dead are "excuse me". People flat out refuse to say that one anymore. I can't even remember the last time I heard it.

-Jason M



Agreed, but it baffles me beyond belief that a person (or persons) will simply stand there and WAIT for you to move rather than uttering those two words...I find it comical
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 5:51:40 AM EDT
Wait...isn't it 'you're welcomed', instead of 'you're welcome'?
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 5:54:04 AM EDT
I use "No problem" all the time.
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 6:18:50 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DrMark:

Originally Posted By DrFrige:
TRUE STORY!! I was at a drive thru at Carls Jr. I SWEAR the kid taking my order had that attitude of "Hey, If I am professional, Maybe I'll be the next CEO of Carls Jr." This kid must have been 18 or so and VERY courteous. I swear I called corporate and told them "Hey, this may sound wierd but I ACTUALLY have a compliment about one of your employees" told them date time and what I ordered and that they should pat this kid on the back for a good job.



That's good to hear.

Around here, Chick-Fil-A restaurants stand out for having courteous, efficient employees. Since they're drawing from the same employee pool as other fast food places, that indicates good management.




To continue the hijacking of my own thread....

My son and I went thru Taco bell drivethru the other day and the guy at the window was very polite "yes sir", "would you like.." etc. This is such a difference in todays atmosphere where I usually go to a fast food joint and the kid at the counter just stares at me waiting for me to order. I usually look at them and try and prompt them by "Are you ready ?" Hardly ever works though...

back to the guy at TB...I comment to my son (he's 11) as we are driving off "now that was how you help a customer and are polite and make people want to return". We head to my store to open for the sunday afternoon. We get a little busy and I am trying to sneak a bite in whenever possible (i'm the owner, and its a one person run shop).

A guy and his girlfriend are in there and she asks me if my lunch is good and I think she is saying something about trying to eat whenever possible. So I apologize and say, "sorry, trying to sneak in my lunch quickly". She says "no, I am one of the managers at the local TB and I wondered if the food was good and you had a good experience". I say "wow, yeah, and tell her of the guy at the window and how my son and i were talking about him and I told her, give him a raise, he is good for business in my opinion". She said "great she liked to hear that and that when people compliiment her employees she gives them a special pin to wear." she said they like to earn those pins. Not a bonus but at least someone will tell him that he did a great job and was noticed. Much better than the blank stare "can I help you". At least there is still hope out there at some fast food places.

Link Posted: 12/14/2005 6:34:49 AM EDT


Around here, Chick-Fil-A restaurants stand out for having courteous, efficient employees. Since they're drawing from the same employee pool as other fast food places, that indicates good management.




I used to manage a Chick-Fil-A and they train their employees to reply, "My pleasure" when a guest says Thank-You. They also are one of the few companies that has figured out that if you want your employees to treat the customers right, you need to treat the employee right.

At Grand Openings, you can often find Dan Cathy, the owner's son, washing dishes and sweeping the parking lot. In all my dealings with the corporate office, I would say the higher up in the company a person is, the nicer they'll be.

They also don't draw from exactly the same pool as the other fast-food places. Since they are closed on Sundays they can get the kids from the local church groups who won't work on Sundays. We found these kids were a whole lot more respectful, harder working etc.
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 6:40:51 AM EDT
This is one area where the South definitely has an advantage, especially if it's a small town not a metropolis. Not to say we don't have rude people around here, but most people have decent manners and some are over the top courteous. It happens frequently that store employees respond to anything you say with "Yes, Sir" or "No, Sir". Even most kids have decent manners (at least the ones in my neighborhood). However, my visits up north (NY, CT, RI, MA etc.) were stark reminders that good manners are not universal. Big cities like NYC and Boston were especially bad. People would not give each other the time of day in most cases. But personal contact was not nearly as bad as driving. Sweet Lord of Mercy! Any shred of courtesy went right out the window as soon as you were on the roads. Think Boston, Big Dig, detours, rush hour, traffic jam... a living nightmare I tell ya.
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 6:44:27 AM EDT
+1 on Chick-Fil-A

first time i went to the new one they opened by us, it blew my mind. I always say thanks, etc. and to hear "my pleasure" i was like holy shit. and it wasn't just the rote reply, i've had different variations and it (more often than not) sounds genuine. most of the kids also throw a "have a good night/day/ whatever" when i'm about to pull off.



T
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 6:46:55 AM EDT

Originally Posted By cnorton:
I use "No problem" all the time.



+1
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 6:50:18 AM EDT
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 6:53:20 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Balu:
This is one area where the South definitely has an advantage, especially if it's a small town not a metropolis. Not to say we don't have rude people around here, but most people have decent manners and some are over the top courteous. It happens frequently that store employees respond to anything you say with "Yes, Sir" or "No, Sir". Even most kids have decent manners (at least the ones in my neighborhood). However, my visits up north (NY, CT, RI, MA etc.) were stark reminders that good manners are not universal. Big cities like NYC and Boston were especially bad. People would not give each other the time of day in most cases. But personal contact was not nearly as bad as driving. Sweet Lord of Mercy! Any shred of courtesy went right out the window as soon as you were on the roads. Think Boston, Big Dig, detours, rush hour, traffic jam... a living nightmare I tell ya.



I haven't extensively travelled the South but I'll agree with you there. People from the South truly are more polite in general.
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 7:04:10 AM EDT
You have to speak English to say "Your Welcome!"
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 7:24:55 AM EDT

Originally Posted By LUGERMAN:
You have to speak English to say "Your Welcome!"



no mas

or something like that he mexispeak

I don't have a problem with saying or hearing "no problem" its the same thing as you're welcome. They are making you aware they know you helped them.

[tookie]thanks for nothing govner![/tookie]
[arnuld]No Problemo[/arnuld]

Link Posted: 12/14/2005 7:26:22 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Wdsman:


Around here, Chick-Fil-A restaurants stand out for having courteous, efficient employees. Since they're drawing from the same employee pool as other fast food places, that indicates good management.




I used to manage a Chick-Fil-A and they train their employees to reply, "My pleasure" when a guest says Thank-You. They also are one of the few companies that has figured out that if you want your employees to treat the customers right, you need to treat the employee right.

At Grand Openings, you can often find Dan Cathy, the owner's son, washing dishes and sweeping the parking lot. In all my dealings with the corporate office, I would say the higher up in the company a person is, the nicer they'll be.

They also don't draw from exactly the same pool as the other fast-food places. Since they are closed on Sundays they can get the kids from the local church groups who won't work on Sundays. We found these kids were a whole lot more respectful, harder working etc.



I use that one as well. My best friend said that all the time and just thought it sounded genuine. So I adopted it as well in my customer service skills. Besides, sounds better than "Yup" and "Hmmm mmmm"
Link Posted: 12/14/2005 7:38:27 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/14/2005 7:39:59 AM EDT by 95thFoot]

Originally Posted By LUGERMAN:
You have to speak English to say "Your Welcome!"



American English. "You're welcome" is not used generally in the UK. Over there they just say, "thanks" or "thank you", "hanx", or some such.


BTW It's "You're welcome.". Short for "You are welcome.".
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