Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Arrow Left Previous Page
Page / 3
Posted: 11/29/2005 11:38:10 AM EDT
Let's say you know a woman that has legally separated from her husband and has initiated divorce proceedings. They are living in separate houses. The husband doesn't want a divorce but she does, and she's ready to move on with her life. Is it wrong to date her and sleep with her prior to the final divorce?
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:38:45 AM EDT
No
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:39:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/29/2005 11:39:50 AM EDT by Zaphod]
Popcorn, check.

Proceed.



My hormones say get it on.

My ethics say no.

Guess which one would probably win.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:39:46 AM EDT
Whose approval are you looking for?
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:40:24 AM EDT
If you and her are not married - to each other - then yes, it is wrong.

Next question.

Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:40:53 AM EDT
Never pass up an opportunity to be "Transition Man!"

All the pie, with half the hassle.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:40:54 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Zaphod:
Popcorn, check.

Proceed.



My hormones say get it on.

My ethics say no.

Guess which one would probably win.



But goats are still OK, right?
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:41:02 AM EDT
I don't have strong feelings on this except these:

If you feel the need to ask, it WILL bother you afterwards. Something in you is uncomfortable with this, and a green light from us won't help.

Not preaching, and I'm definately not a shrink, but something made you ask.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:41:30 AM EDT
Go ahead a give the girl a good ole' fuckin.

Better check your six though, the estranged hubby may not like it.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:41:49 AM EDT
What could be more innocent than sleeping?
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:41:57 AM EDT
Fuck it, as long as ou don't mind that she still has a husband.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:42:30 AM EDT
I say have at it. Just keep a loaded pistol by the bed in case the estranged husband decides to show up.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:42:36 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/29/2005 11:46:56 AM EDT by E1]
As long as there soon to be Ex is not a ARFCOM member, and do not recognize your posting name
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:42:45 AM EDT

Originally Posted By CITADELGRAD87:
... If you feel the need to ask, it WILL bother you afterwards. Something in you is uncomfortable with this, and a green light from us won't help...



+1
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:42:50 AM EDT
I say....GET IT ON!

If she is legally separated, and has started divorce proceedings, then she is fair game, she is serious enough about it to get to that point....
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:43:01 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SJSAMPLE:

But goats are still OK, right?



Why, you trolling for a piece of ass?
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:43:10 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Zaphod:
Popcorn, check.

Proceed.



My hormones say get it on.

My ethics say no.

Guess which one would probably win.

Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:45:30 AM EDT
It is wrong not to sleep with her, she needs an understanding shoulder to lean on in this trying time.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:45:40 AM EDT



If you and her are not married - to each other - then yes, it is wrong.



Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:45:56 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DzlBenz:
Never pass up an opportunity to be "Transition Man!"

All the pie, with half the hassle.




Rebound Relationship!

Send me her phone number if you aren't going to use it.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:46:45 AM EDT
The sleeping part is not the issue.


It's what goes on while you are both awake!!!!!!
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:47:06 AM EDT
Do yourself a favor and rent "Sea of Love" (hey, it's got Pacino) before you start banging a married (she is still married) woman.

You don't want to end up naked, dry humping the bedsheets with a .38 at the back of yer noggin.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:47:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DrMark:


If you and her are not married - to each other - then yes, it is wrong.






Can someone bitch slap this "marry her to fuck her" mentality out of all our heads...
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:47:42 AM EDT
If they aint living together then its fair game.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:48:54 AM EDT
I was legally separated, and, in the middle of proceedings.

So was Mrs. Goon.

I see zero ethical issues with it.

Saying someone is "married" just becasue of thier
legal status is just semantics AFAIC.

If they are actively trying to work it out, I'd say no-go.

Just recognize they may both change their minds, and,
you're ass-out.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:49:00 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TacticalStrat:
Let's say you know a woman that has legally separated from her husband and has initiated divorce proceedings. They are living in separate houses. The husband doesn't want a divorce but she does, and she's ready to move on with her life. Is it wrong to date her and sleep with her prior to the final divorce?


If someone said it was wrong, would that stop you?
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:49:23 AM EDT

Originally Posted By NSFJojo:

Originally Posted By DrMark:


If you and her are not married - to each other - then yes, it is wrong.






Can someone bitch slap this "marry her to fuck her" mentality out of all our heads...



Don't do that, we need that mentality in as many people as possible.

Better odds for the rest of us.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:50:37 AM EDT
Hit it
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:51:53 AM EDT
Didn't we just do this like a week ago. Anyway, I'll say it again. When entering a marriage so many people treat it as a religious as opposed to a legal thing. When leaving it, it's ALL LEGAL. I don't get it. Get married in a church and divorced in a court house. THAT's what doesn't make sense to me. And your talking to someone that sent off his divorce papers yesterday lol
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:52:26 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/29/2005 11:53:36 AM EDT by TomJefferson]
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:56:18 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/29/2005 12:05:44 PM EDT by cheaptrickfan]
I think you are looking for validation of your desire. The answer to you morality question is best answered by your belief system. If you have no moral problem with pre-marital sex, and if you have no problem with sex with a legally married but emotionally separated woman, then you have no problem and should move on toward your goal.

Perhaps more importantly, if she is emotionally "done" with her marriage, and only waiting for the legal paperwork, she probably considers herself a free woman and it is probably a good thing to discuss this with her.



Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:56:39 AM EDT
No, I don't see anything wrong with it any more than sleeping with any divorced woman.

However, it has been my experience that every woman I ever slept with who gave me that story was neither separated, nor planning a divorce.
YMMV but I doubt it.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:57:42 AM EDT
There really isn't a legal issue. Common misconceptions to the contrary, the divorce court isn't going to punish her for adultery or anything, even if she wasn't seperated. The opposing lawyer might bring it up, but it'll just be grandstanding for his client.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 11:57:54 AM EDT

Originally Posted By tripledouble:

Originally Posted By TacticalStrat:
Let's say you know a woman that has legally separated from her husband and has initiated divorce proceedings. They are living in separate houses. The husband doesn't want a divorce but she does, and she's ready to move on with her life. Is it wrong to date her and sleep with her prior to the final divorce?


If someone said it was wrong, would that stop you?




I'm mostly wondering what our friends would think about it. Will most people view it as if she is cheating, and me as a marriage-wrecker? Will people point their fingers and whisper to one another that we're cheating? Will I be shunned from my circle of friends? Would my boss think I'm scum if he found out? I'm basically wondering how society looks on a situation like this.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:00:22 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TacticalStrat:

Originally Posted By tripledouble:

Originally Posted By TacticalStrat:
Let's say you know a woman that has legally separated from her husband and has initiated divorce proceedings. They are living in separate houses. The husband doesn't want a divorce but she does, and she's ready to move on with her life. Is it wrong to date her and sleep with her prior to the final divorce?


If someone said it was wrong, would that stop you?




I'm mostly wondering what our friends would think about it. Will most people view it as if she is cheating, and me as a marriage-wrecker? Will people point their fingers and whisper to one another that we're cheating? Will I be shunned from my circle of friends? Would my boss think I'm scum if he found out? I'm basically wondering how society looks on a situation like this.



Stop worrying what society thinks and live your life as you want to.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:01:25 PM EDT
How would you like to be treated if you were still legally married to your wife, and not wanting it to end?
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:02:26 PM EDT
Only if you are not married to her.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:02:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TacticalStrat:
I'm basically wondering how society looks on a situation like this.



Society doesn't give a fat rat's ass. Even if you do become the topic of a few converstations, in a few short weeks they'll move on to the next juicy gossip they can exaggerate and spread.

Who's opinion is it that you're concerned about, anyway? Don't let anything but your own conscience dictate your morals to you.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:03:20 PM EDT

Originally Posted By tc556guy:

Originally Posted By TacticalStrat:

Originally Posted By tripledouble:

Originally Posted By TacticalStrat:
Let's say you know a woman that has legally separated from her husband and has initiated divorce proceedings. They are living in separate houses. The husband doesn't want a divorce but she does, and she's ready to move on with her life. Is it wrong to date her and sleep with her prior to the final divorce?


If someone said it was wrong, would that stop you?




I'm mostly wondering what our friends would think about it. Will most people view it as if she is cheating, and me as a marriage-wrecker? Will people point their fingers and whisper to one another that we're cheating? Will I be shunned from my circle of friends? Would my boss think I'm scum if he found out? I'm basically wondering how society looks on a situation like this.



Stop worrying what society thinks and live your life as you want to.



Interesting point of view from a socialist, neofascist JBT.
Not surprised though.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:04:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TacticalStrat:
Let's say you know a woman that has legally separated from her husband and has initiated divorce proceedings. They are living in separate houses. The husband doesn't want a divorce but she does, and she's ready to move on with her life. Is it wrong to date her and sleep with her prior to the final divorce?



Maybe you should ask her......
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:04:56 PM EDT

Originally Posted By NSFJojo:

Originally Posted By DrMark:


If you and her are not married - to each other - then yes, it is wrong.






Can someone bitch slap this "marry her to fuck her" mentality out of all our heads...



All of our heads? Probably not.

It's been in my head (and in my wife's) for a long time.

Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:06:12 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/29/2005 12:07:15 PM EDT by Rodent]
Excellent. I mean, er, congradulations. Now, step aside, if you would - you're blocking my way to that redhead over there...
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:09:57 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/29/2005 12:12:23 PM EDT by legalese77]
Just make sure you don't own a bmw m3

my350z.com/forum/showthread.php?t=151392&page=1&pp=20

damn! the pictures got taken down before I could save them
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:14:07 PM EDT
smash her like she wants to be smashed
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:15:25 PM EDT
My my my, its amazing how different this same poll is in TEAM forum.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:17:19 PM EDT

Originally Posted By anykey:
How would you like to be treated if you were still legally married to your wife, and not wanting it to end?




Maybe I should pay for some counseling for them?


Seriously, I've been through a divorce and I know how bad it hurts. A man has got to move on if his wife has decided that she doesn't want to be married anymore. You can't make someone want to be with you. It's a very destructive path that you take when you try to force someone to love you. I feel really bad for the guy, but he has to deal with the fact his wife is moving on and he's not going to have a say in it anymore. She's going to be dating someone if it's not me.

BTW, Her lawyer told her that she can do whatever she likes (date/have sex... whatever) and it won't have any legal reprocussions on her divorce.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:19:55 PM EDT

Originally Posted By legalese77:
Just make sure you don't own a bmw m3

my350z.com/forum/showthread.php?t=151392&page=1&pp=20

damn! the pictures got taken down before I could save them



I do own an M3. Oooooooooops!




Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:30:18 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/29/2005 12:30:50 PM EDT by legalese77]

Originally Posted By TacticalStrat:

I do own an M3. Oooooooooops!




LOL, you better send it to me for safe keeping, then!

eta: at least your interior is already red!
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:30:50 PM EDT

Maybe I should pay for some counseling for them?


Seriously, I've been through a divorce and I know how bad it hurts. A man has got to move on if his wife has decided that she doesn't want to be married anymore. You can't make someone want to be with you. It's a very destructive path that you take when you try to force someone to love you. I feel really bad for the guy, but he has to deal with the fact his wife is moving on and he's not going to have a say in it anymore. She's going to be dating someone if it's not me.

BTW, Her lawyer told her that she can do whatever she likes (date/have sex... whatever) and it won't have any legal reprocussions on her divorce.




I'm not trying to tell you what to do. For me, there are plenty of unmarried women out there to have to go for someone's wife, no matter WTF some lawyer says. See if that lawyer gives a rat's ass when either her husband is flinging 9mm's at you, or you feel like shit about yourself for banging some poor dude's wife. Don't let some asshole making $150 an hour sway your decision at all, or anybody here, including me. You know the situation. Are you OK with it?
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:30:52 PM EDT
Do you work with these people ? Do you share common friends with either ? Sounds like it could be a PITA if you are that worried about it and are wondering how friends and coworkers will take it.

If you had no other ties to this couple than just knowing the woman I would say go for it. If you run in the same social circles or work with either I say avoid it until at least after the divorce.

Just last week we had a guy here get shot by his girlfriends ex-husband. The ex-husband was waiting in her house and when they came in he shot and killed the guy. Bunch of damn nuts out there, be careful.
Link Posted: 11/29/2005 12:31:43 PM EDT
I think there are points on both sides of the "ethics" bit of this.

But I would concentrate on the overall "IS THIS A GOOD IDEA FOR ME" part of that question.

I note the following:

1. This woman is going to have fucking DRAMA and it will spill into your life even if you're just fuck buddies.

2. This woman's husband may be caught up in the "legally still married" aspect of this. And truth be told, the law sort of is too. In my state there's a 90 day period after filing the divorce where nothing can happen because the law presumes there's a chance at reconcilliation at this point. Bottom line, hubbie may not be capable of coping with the thought of his Mrs. getting the bottom knocked out by you. You might get yourself killed. There's plenty of hot women that don't come with this risk.

3. If she's going through a divorce, she SHOULD be in the "its too soon" mindset. If she's not, then she's either a complete slut or she wants something ($$, whatever) from you. EJECT! EJECT!

4. From the ethics perspect, if YOU had a wife and she sprung a divorce on you and YOU believed there would be a chance at reconcilliation, would you be offended by another guy fucking your wife? Your thoughts here should guide you.
Arrow Left Previous Page
Page / 3
Top Top