In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods:
1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". [Gee, that's the
only time I have to]
2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside". [Evidently, the shoplifter special]
3. On a bar of Dial soap:"Directions: Use like regular soap." [And that
would be how...?]
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost." [But
it's *just* a suggestion]
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn
upside down".[Oops, too late!]
6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
heating". [As sure as night follows the day .....]
7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". [But
wouldn't this save even more time?]
8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication". [We could do a lot to reduce
the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds
with head-colds off those forklifts.]
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness" [One would hope]
10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
only". [As opposed to what?]
11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".[I
gotta admit, I'm curious]
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". [NEWS FLASH]
13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:> "Instructions: open
packet,eat nuts." [Step 3: Fly Delta]
14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not
enable you to fly" [I don't blame the company. I do blame parents for this
one!]