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Posted: 7/26/2001 12:34:12 AM EDT
I have some highly placed sources that tell me this WILL happen within the next 5.5 years... First the Chicoms and N. Koreans will launch simultaneous attacks against Taiwan and S. Korea, respectively. US will respond in force to protect their allies in this region, with the aid of the Russians who finally get to settle their differences with the Chinese over Marxist doctrine. Taking advantage of the chaos, all hell will break loose in the Middle East with old enemies (i.e. Everyone vs. Israel) coming to life. Israel will call upon their long time protectorate, the US to assist, further stretching the resources of the US Military. The Mexicans and Canadians, sensing a rift in the balance of power, will execute a joint invasion of the US, citing "years of oppression" in their declaration of war. The United Nations will land troops on US soil, in order to "maintain peace" in the region, while secretly using the US invasion as an excuse to begin it's disarmament of US civilians. Israel, in a last ditch effort to save themselves, will launch and all-out nuclear assault on it's enemies, reducing the region to a glowing nuclear playground. India and Pakistan, jealous of Israel's display, will nuke the crap out of eachother. That's the fan, now here's the shit. Muslim fundamentalists, angry with the decimation of their beautiful deserts, will launch a full scale bio-chemical assault on the US, using terrorist cells well established in the major metropolitan areas of the country. The bio-toxins will have an unexpected reaction with the radioactive cloud now covering the earth. The resulting virus will have no apparent effect on the living, but will cause the dead to rise from their resting places. The dead are hungry and pissed off, because, well, they have been dead! So what one weapon do you arm yourself with??? I will be armed with an M4 with beta C-mags equipped with a KAC RAS. On the bottom rail of the RAS will be a M203. On the right and left side of the RAS I want a Rem Masterkey 870 magnum for each. I will rig up a trigger mechanism that will simultaneously fire the M4, the M203 and the two 870s. I also need a visible and IR laser, because I heard the dead don't like lasers in their eyes. Oh and a PVS-14 and tac lights, 'cause Zombies like to fight at night.
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 12:37:49 AM EDT
And I want Imbroglio at my side with his M16 w/ FA .22lr kit and blast reducer, so he can pic off the zombie kids and zombie elderly.
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 12:39:54 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/26/2001 12:45:16 AM EDT by 300ydClean]
Nearly the ideal setup for fighting the undead,but wouldn't one of the rails of the KAC RAS be better utilized with a flamethrower. I would also expect every fifth round in the C-mag to be a depleted unobtanium tracer core. Chuck Upon further cogitation, I also believe that you should have on hand several hundred 12 ga. rounds loaded with wooden flechettes. As you well know UNDEAD+NIGHTTIME nearly always =NOSFERATU
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 12:41:34 AM EDT
Hold on. Let me go watch "Return of the Living Dead" to review zombie killing weapons & tactics. Be right back....
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 12:47:35 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 300ydClean: Nearly the ideal setup for fighting the undead,but wouldn't one of the rails of the KAC RAS be better utilized with a flamethrower. I would also expect every fifth round in the C-mag to be a depleted unobtanium tracer core. Chuck
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Yes, you are correct sir. I see you have studied up well for the inevitable clash between the living and the not... living. I suppose with the mention of flamethrowers, I should describe my side arm. A Para P14 (heavily tuned, of course) with 18 round mags (loaded with zombie-poison tipped Black Talons) with surefire light and laser combo and Aimpoint reddot. Mounted in parallel is a flame throwing device, and a bayonet. I would also like some sort of 'less than lethal' device, like a chainsaw, in case I need to question the zombies, but I'm still working on that part.
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 12:53:53 AM EDT
Originally Posted By HKocher: I have some highly placed sources that tell me this WILL happen within the next 5.5 years...
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I think you or your "highly placed sources" or all of you are full of something and its done some serious damage to your brain not to mention your anus. Where is Tac-Girl when this all comes down? Is this the scenario she was practicing her two gun suppressive fire technique for. Are you the idiot that told her it was viable. I think you should change your handle to HKracked[smoke]
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 1:05:31 AM EDT
Originally Posted By HANGFIRE: I think you or your "highly placed sources" or all of you are full of something and its done some serious damage to your brain not to mention your anus. Where is Tac-Girl when this all comes down? Is this the scenario she was practicing her two gun suppressive fire technique for. Are you the idiot that told her it was viable. I think you should change your handle to HKracked[smoke]
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Hello Mr. HANGFIRE, how have you been? Would you like to be a part of my army against the evil undead? Or would you rather sit back and let the UN disarm you, and then let the zombies eat your skin? Did I mention that the undead are in league with the anti-Christ??? Anyhoo, my sources are highly placed within the US military and gov't. Therefore any discloser of their identity might lead to preemptive zombie strikes against them, and thus cripple our preparation for the upcoming war. And my anus is fine, thank you. Would you like to inspect it? The anal implant/vaccination was relatively painless, and I was back into action (anally) within 24 hours. As far as tac-girl is concerned, she is welcome to join my army of the living, but as I already mentioned, I want Imbroglio at my side, with the suppressive .22lr fire. You can guard my rear, as you are the expert in that area. Cheeri-O!
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 1:18:37 AM EDT
Not that I don't have a sense of humor, but on this thread I'm seeing some of the stupidest childish shit ever. What's the point in all this? Never mind. Later.
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 1:21:32 AM EDT
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 1:29:03 AM EDT
A quake player??????????? Chuck (The planet Stroggos fears me)
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 2:07:51 AM EDT
Originally Posted By M4C: Not that I don't have a sense of humor, but on this thread I'm seeing some of the stupidest childish shit ever. What's the point in all this? Never mind. Later.
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Fine by me. Ignore the warnings. Become food for the non-living. I'm just trying to help you out buddy. Just means more zombies that'll eat you, and less zombies that'll eat me.
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 2:09:10 AM EDT
Originally Posted By SinistralRifleman: HKocher, I have a BFG-9000, can I tag along?
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Sure, all fellow lefties are welcome, as it is well known in the zombie world that lefties taste better, thus we will be higher priority targets and must stick together.
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 2:11:32 AM EDT
...depleted unobtanium....LMFAO[:D]
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 3:18:56 AM EDT
Yikes, my plans call for it in 6.2 years. I'm [b]DOOMED[/b] [img]www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/bangin.gif[/img]
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 3:58:22 AM EDT
First you must remove the "pointless" front sight from your rifle. Now you will be able to mount another weapon to the top of the RAS- that's what RAS is for[rolleyes]. Now you SHOULD end up with a rifle with four additional weapons mounted onto it (*note: you might be able to mount one more, to the flattop, that peekes over the one on the top rail). Firing this weapon should not be a problem because, like ALL [rolleyes]weapons with pistol-grips, this one should be fired from the hip. (SOP for killing the undead as seen in, FMFM 2006.5-666)
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 4:04:50 AM EDT
Originally Posted By HKocher: Would you like to be a part of my army against the evil undead? Or would you rather sit back and let the UN disarm you, and then let the zombies eat your skin? Did I mention that the undead are in league with the anti-Christ???
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No-no-no-no-no!!! Zombies feed on BRAINS.. They want your BRAINS!!! Based on this, your intel is suspect.. Rick(hewhowatchedthemovie)Bandito
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 4:16:18 AM EDT
The most important question is: Can Zombies smell brains through tin-foil?
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 4:22:57 AM EDT
GEESH, this shouldn't have to be explained, but since there are some neophytes here, I will anyways. If you reference back to the first post, you will notice that the biological agents were released by Muslim fundamentalists. It is common knowledge that Muslim fundamentalists are very fond of Zypdunk325 and use it as a base for all biological agents,blood pathogens, and general no good stuff that they come up with.(It is also a good marinade for goat meat) Now knowing that, we can reference the tests performed at Aberdeen in 1996 which clearly established that Zypdunk325 based airborne pathogens when exposed to high levels of gamma radiation acts as a synapse inhibitor in zombie brains and causes a behavioral shift. In laymans terms IT MAKES THEM EAT SKIN. Chuck
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 4:27:42 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Major Murphy: The most important question is: Can Zombies smell brains through tin-foil?
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Possibly, but more important is the removal of unimportant brain matter BEFORE the onset of hostilities. It is well documented that the average person uses less than 10% of their brain, I think I use less than that, about 5%. So prior to the war, one should have this useless material removed (preferable by surgery) so you will have a lower 'brain signature' visible to the zombies.
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 4:31:43 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Bandito: No-no-no-no-no!!! Zombies feed on BRAINS.. They want your BRAINS!!! Based on this, your intel is suspect.. Rick(hewhowatchedthemovie)Bandito
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The classified military footage I was privy to CLEARLY showed the zombies first eating the SKIN of the US servicemen who volunteered for the study. I believe the brains are the dessert.
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 4:33:14 AM EDT
Does using starch on a tin-foil hat decrease, or increase one's "brain signature"?
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 4:38:50 AM EDT
Wearing a tin foil hat definitely decreases the "brain signature" as illustrated by many people on this board.
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 4:41:10 AM EDT
Originally Posted By HKocher: I believe the brains are the dessert.
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The adolescent zombies will almost always go for the brains first or only nibble the flesh but dive right into the brain. It's a proven fact.
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 4:49:45 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/26/2001 4:50:26 AM EDT by AR_Rifle]
Zombies?...I heard they like good looking womens. I will stock myself with plenty of good looking womens and when they come I will let they have them for a "Fee"...He...He...He... You have heard of "Make Love not War"?
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 4:52:36 AM EDT
Originally Posted By AR_Rifle: I will stock myself with plenty of good looking womens...
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...now that would be a neat trick.
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 5:28:50 AM EDT
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 5:39:44 AM EDT
Originally Posted By DK-Prof: I'd want HANGFIRE watching my ass, because with his limited brain signature and the fact that he's so thin-skinned, the zombies won't even know he's there. [:D]
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...he has what is known as "Stealth Brain".
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 6:22:14 AM EDT
...and an anal fixation.
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 10:38:48 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/26/2001 5:12:39 PM EDT by raf]
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 5:02:20 PM EDT
cool lets make a movie!
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 5:11:16 PM EDT
Always wondered who the people were that do acid.
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 5:34:45 PM EDT
[url]asia.dailynews.yahoo.com/headlines/world/article.html?s=asia/headlines/010724/world/afp/US_lawmakers_warned_of__dark_winter__in_case_of_bioterrorist_attack.html[/url]
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 5:56:51 PM EDT
OK...it'll be easy to tell the Mexicans, but how will you the Canadians from the undead?
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 6:08:37 PM EDT
captainpooby, Striker will look this thread for you saying that, eh. My choice would be a pair of Hollywood .45 six shooters, you would never have to reload.
Link Posted: 7/26/2001 6:17:49 PM EDT
I dont know what "...look this thread.." means.Being Canadian and all..
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