Funniest sex sounds - Page 2

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Funniest sex sounds (Page 2 of 3)

Posted: 9/21/2005 8:44:50 AM EDT

[#1]

Quoted:
Quoted:

Let's call her girlfrind #2: "AYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!"

... A Hispanic girl I see

No, a CAJUN !

Posted: 9/21/2005 8:48:07 AM EDT

[#2]

Didn't there used to be a breakfast cereal called QUEEF?

Maybe it was Quisp or Quake or Queef or something like that......

Posted: 9/21/2005 8:51:24 AM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
Peruvian girl I dated for a while would scream "Oh 'jess', oh 'jess'' at the moment of shangri-la...she reverted back to saying "j" instead of "y", kind of like Charo. I found it pretty comical.

Well.. I ALWAYS worry about the grammatical nuances of a foreign language when I'm in the throws of an orgasm.

Posted: 9/21/2005 8:55:19 AM EDT

[#4]

Best ever sound for me:

In the backseat of an ex-girlfriends 1983 Mercury Capri liftback, her bent over the back seat..."fwap, thump, fwap, thump, fwap, thump"...I thought, that's weird, what's the thump sound?

Me: What's that thump sound?
Her: My forehead hitting the back window!
Me: Oh, should we change positions?
Her: No way, keep going!
Me:

fwap thump fwap thump fwap thump

Posted: 9/21/2005 8:58:10 AM EDT

[#5]

TAG these are so funny!!!

Posted: 9/21/2005 8:58:15 AM EDT

[#6]

3. pussy fart

In short, Alec Baldwin.Last time "The Edge" was on TV I realized what a huge pussy fart Alec Baldwin is.

Posted: 9/21/2005 9:22:38 AM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
Best ever sound for me:

In the backseat of an ex-girlfriends 1983 Mercury Capri liftback, her bent over the back seat..."fwap, thump, fwap, thump, fwap, thump"...I thought, that's weird, what's the thump sound?

Me: What's that thump sound?
Her: My forehead hitting the back window!
Me: Oh, should we change positions?
Her: No way, keep going!
Me: fwap thump fwap thump fwap thump

OMG

Posted: 9/21/2005 9:27:21 AM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I think its funny when my girl says push, push while she is climaxing... but she has her legs rapped around me and I can't move.

Ahhh yes, the venus clam trap.

Posted: 9/21/2005 9:34:21 AM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
....at the moment of shangri-la...

Listen to Greaseman?

Posted: 9/21/2005 9:36:10 AM EDT

[#10]

I dated a little cheerleader in college that would make growling sounds everytime I hit bottom. 5 feet tall and 95lbs she could handle a good rousing - and the ways she could contort her body would blow your mind.

Posted: 9/21/2005 9:38:24 AM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
I hate it when in the middle of it all, she yelled "SHOVE THE LAMP UP MY ASS!!!"

??? You dated her too???

Posted: 9/21/2005 6:53:29 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I hate it when in the middle of it all, she yelled "SHOVE THE LAMP UP MY ASS!!!"

??? You dated her too???

I think EVERYONE has.

Posted: 9/21/2005 7:02:43 PM EDT

[#13]

Posted: 9/21/2005 7:11:02 PM EDT

[#14]

I hooked up with a French girl on a business trip to Germany. She spoke great English and she didn't have hairy legs or pits. In the heat of the moment she yells, OUI, OUI, OUI, OUI, OUI, OUI, OUI, OUI!!!!! (PRONOUCED "WE") ( At first I was worried she ment WEE!)

I still see her a few times a year.

Posted: 9/21/2005 7:20:15 PM EDT

[#15]

I care not to share........just fake it Babey

Posted: 9/21/2005 7:42:09 PM EDT

[#16]

Out of sheer morbid curiosity I'm tagging this for more.

Posted: 9/21/2005 7:54:33 PM EDT

[#17]

From my ninth grade girlfriend (not during intercourse but close):
"Oh yeah, all the way to my cervix!"

The next weekend (my folks were upstairs):

"Ah! Ah! AH! FUCK ME! FUCK ME NOW! AHHHH! AAAAHmmmmmmmmm" as I am trying to muffle her mouth. Afterwards I asked her if she remembered saying anything. "No, why?"

Let's see - fast forward to senior year:

"Right hand, blue! Left foot, green!" . . . you get the idea.

I did have one young woman say "I've never done anything like this before." Her teenage brother in the next room overhears her and screams "BULLSHIT!"

There are some more but they get really embarassing.

Posted: 9/21/2005 7:57:38 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
"Oh no" he said "she doesn't want you to f$%& her, she wants you to beat the shit outta her while I f$%& her"

Posted: 9/21/2005 8:05:10 PM EDT

[#19]

Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes

Posted: 9/21/2005 8:07:24 PM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes

So was that your child talking to you, or is that what you said to your Dad?

Posted: 9/21/2005 8:18:41 PM EDT

[#21]

gees, and all I get is "ouch, ouch, ouchouchouchouchowowow....stop!!!!"

Posted: 9/21/2005 8:21:53 PM EDT

[#22]

tag

Posted: 9/21/2005 8:25:54 PM EDT

[#23]

tag

Posted: 9/21/2005 8:28:13 PM EDT

[#24]

Man these are great... I got one. My buddy told me this story. He and this chick were 'in the dog' and he slipped out and put it in her pooper.

Immeaditly he says' "Should I stop?"

She slowly turns her head around to him and says......NO!

So dirty and funny at the same time.

Posted: 9/21/2005 8:43:23 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
Dated a real screamer for awhile, screamed at the top of her lungs.

My buddy who was living in my basement would get so pissed he would come up and pound on my door.

"Shut the fuck up"

when I was 16 my dad did the same, in the morning he call me a good bull. Its was a proud father & son moment.

same girl would start to scream "oh god, oh god. etc before she came, I know Im big but Im not that big

Posted: 9/21/2005 8:45:04 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
Out of sheer morbid curiosity I'm tagging this for more.

+1 Patty

Posted: 9/21/2005 8:55:59 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
Man these are great... I got one. My buddy told me this story. He and this chick were 'in the dog' and he slipped out and put it in her pooper.

Immeaditly he says' "Should I stop?"

She slowly turns her head around to him and says......NO!

So dirty and funny at the same time.

He must have a tiny dick. There is no way mine could slip in there accidentally.

Posted: 9/21/2005 9:00:22 PM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
He must have a tiny dick. There is no way mine could slip in there accidentally.

It's never accidental, dude. We just act like it is.

Posted: 9/21/2005 9:02:28 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
Quoted:
He must have a tiny dick. There is no way mine could slip in there accidentally.

It's never accidental, dude. We just act like it is.

Maybe I should say I need cooperation for it to happen.

Posted: 9/21/2005 9:05:22 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
He must have a tiny dick. There is no way mine could slip in there accidentally.

It's never accidental, dude. We just act like it is.

Maybe I should say I need cooperation for it to happen.

Agreed. When I was growing up and single, it was a procedural error not to probe first with a finger or something (spatula handle, whatever).

In my prime, the "shocker" was the order of the day. Two in the clam, one in the ham. Also known as "two in the pink, one in the stink".

Posted: 9/21/2005 9:06:33 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
He must have a tiny dick. There is no way mine could slip in there accidentally.

It's never accidental, dude. We just act like it is.

Maybe I should say I need cooperation for it to happen.

Perhaps he isn't relaxed enough.

Posted: 9/21/2005 9:08:08 PM EDT

[#32]

/drunksex/.....thwap,thwap,thwap,thwap,raaaaaaalph...../drunksex/ total cock-block for me.

Posted: 9/21/2005 9:30:44 PM EDT

[#33]

'What do you mean you can keep going for another 45 min OR SO!!!!!!!!!'

Posted: 9/22/2005 6:59:35 AM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Man these are great... I got one. My buddy told me this story. He and this chick were 'in the dog' and he slipped out and put it in her pooper.

Immeaditly he says' "Should I stop?"

She slowly turns her head around to him and says......NO!

So dirty and funny at the same time.

He must have a tiny dick. There is no way mine could slip in there accidentally.

Some girls have "gapers" my guess is they do anal all the time so they are loose ......

I can't believe I just typed some nasty shit like that on the internet

Posted: 9/22/2005 7:11:13 AM EDT

[#35]

This thread is useless without sound bites.

Posted: 9/22/2005 7:15:00 AM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:
What are some of the funniest sex sounds you or your partner have ever made?

Let's call her girlfrind #2: "AYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!"

How about that sound you make when you get it up the ass? That is pretty funny!

Posted: 9/22/2005 1:06:53 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Man these are great... I got one. My buddy told me this story. He and this chick were 'in the dog' and he slipped out and put it in her pooper.

Immeaditly he says' "Should I stop?"

She slowly turns her head around to him and says......NO!

So dirty and funny at the same time.

He must have a tiny dick. There is no way mine could slip in there accidentally.

Some girls have "gapers" my guess is they do anal all the time so they are loose ......

I can't believe I just typed some nasty shit like that on the internet

I dont know those girls

Posted: 9/22/2005 1:34:17 PM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:
'What do you mean you can keep going for another 45 min OR SO!!!!!!!!!'

I've heard that before. Usually accompanied with a look of shock and/or panic.

Posted: 9/22/2005 5:18:06 PM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Cunt farts always crack me up.

we call those queefs.

edited to add: I see someone already provided a definition -- I love the south.

That's what it's called up North also, music to my ears!

Posted: 9/22/2005 5:19:25 PM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:
Cunt farts always crack me up.

Queef.

ETA: Wow... I was hella behind.

Posted: 9/22/2005 5:50:12 PM EDT

[#41]

Um . . . I could insert some comments about anal sex but I won't make the other fellows jealous.

Not my sex noise but:

My old roommate Adam was quite the Romeo. The walls in our house were quite well insulated to sound but the ceilings and floors were not. And his room and bathroom were right above the living room and TV where his brother Dan and I would sit and play Nintendo.

Dan always pretended like he couldn't hear the wild sounds coming from upstairs. Then one night we get this gem:

Adam:Uhhhhh
Girl:Eyuhhhhh
Adam:Uhhhhh . . . wait a minute
(sound of bathroom door being opened)
(sound of Adam urinating)
Girl:Ahhh, ahh, ahh, AHAAAAAHAHAAAHHAAAHAHAHAHHAHOMGAHAAHAHAHAHHA!
Girl:AIIIIIIIIIIII!
(sound of toilet flushing and bathroom door closing)
Adam:Did you get it?
Girl: I GOT IT!

Posted: 9/22/2005 6:02:37 PM EDT

[#42]

Okay, I understand what she means when she says "HARDER", "FASTER", or "DEEPER"-but what the fuck does she mean when she says "MORE"?

Posted: 9/22/2005 6:29:20 PM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:
Cunt farts always crack me up.

Similar story differnt part of the anatomy. She (a well endowed southern belle) was on top and we were outside during a South Carolina Summer. She leans down and the combination of perspiration and good sized puppies causes air to get trapped and then expelled.

braaaap!

I used to tell her she was the only girl I knew who could fart with her tits.

Posted: 9/22/2005 7:32:05 PM EDT

[#44]

... This thread borderlines SEXUAL HARASSMENT!

Posted: 9/22/2005 7:38:51 PM EDT

[#45]

Years ago, I was (illegally) overnighting in a rest area in a pickup camper..

The girl I was with saw a cop approaching, so we rocked the shit out of the trailer. He kept coming.

She moaned and squealed.

He STILL kept coming.

He was about 5 feet away when she SCREAMS "For God's sake, now give it to me in the ass!"

The cop blushed and returned to his car and drove off.

Posted: 9/22/2005 7:53:00 PM EDT

[#46]

Had two different girls that would start saying, "Oh, shit! Oh shit!" during oral sex. It would get louder and louder each time, until they would just scream at the top of their lungs when they came. First time that happened it scared the hell out of me... thought I killed her. After that it as just a matter of pride for me to be able to do that to them.

Oh yeah, queefs can be just absolutely hilarious at times.

Posted: 9/22/2005 8:08:04 PM EDT

[#47]

Quoted:
Years ago, I was (illegally) overnighting in a rest area in a pickup camper..

The girl I was with saw a cop approaching, so we rocked the shit out of the trailer. He kept coming.

She moaned and squealed.

He STILL kept coming.

He was about 5 feet away when she SCREAMS "For God's sake, now give it to me in the ass!"

The cop blushed and returned to his car and drove off.

THAT was FUNNY!!!

Posted: 9/22/2005 8:12:06 PM EDT

[#48]

I get a kick out of it when their boobs start slapping together in perfect time. Sounds like they're clapping their hands together if it is done just right!

GR

Posted: 9/22/2005 8:16:39 PM EDT

[#49]

Quoted:
I hate it when in the middle of it all, she yelled "SHOVE THE LAMP UP MY ASS!!!"

I can't stop laughing!

Posted: 9/22/2005 8:18:56 PM EDT

[#50]

Quoted:
Had two different girls that would start saying, "Oh, shit! Oh shit!" during oral sex. It would get louder and louder each time, until they would just scream at the top of their lungs when they came. First time that happened it scared the hell out of me... thought I killed her. After that it as just a matter of pride for me to be able to do that to them.

Oh yeah, queefs can be just absolutely hilarious at times.

If they are able to talk, you ain't doing it right..

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Funniest sex sounds (Page 2 of 3)

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