Question : What's the difference between
a job and a wife ?

Answer : After 5 years the job still sucks .

Q:  Whats the difference between a gynocologist and a proctocologist?

A:  About an inch.  [:O]

A gynocoligist decides to change careers due to the high cost of insurance one must carry in his profession. He remembered being handy with tool so he decides to take up auto shop in the hopes of opening an auto repair business.

After 1 year of classes he has done quite well and was ready to graduate with only one hurdle left. The class was to tear down and rebuild an engine for their final. Well the time came and the former gynocologist set to it. The following week the grades were posted and he got an A++. Perplexed by the extra "+" on his grade he approached his instructor to inquire. The instructor told him, "Well you done good so I gave you an A. You had no mistakes and the engine ran flawlessly so I gave you the +. But I have never seen anyone tear down and rebuild an engine before through the tailpipe so I gave you the other +."

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

The mosquito stops sucking when you smack it.

[i]What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold?

One's a sick duck, and the other...well I don't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore.[/i]
-Sean Connery, SNL Celebrity Jeopardy

[brown]Evil Jewbroni~[/brown]

Check [url]http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/celebrities.html[/url]

a man is driving at 120 mph. sure enough, he gets pulled over. the officer asks him to see his DL. the guy says: i lost my license after my third DUI. the cop says: you lost it after 3 DUI's? can i at least see your registration? guy: yes, its in the glove box under my hand-gun. cop: you have a hand gun in your glove box? guy: yeah, i put it there after i raped and murdered the woman that's in my trunk. cop: ok, wait right here. he goes to his cruiser and requests back-up. when it arrives, the chief of police himself approached the offender. he demanded to see the guy's DL. he says: ok, here it is! and hands the chief his DL. the chief asks to see in the glove box, the guy says sure! my registration is in there. the chief looks, and sure enough, there it is - no handgun. the chief, infuriated, asks him to open his trunk. the guy complied. face red, the chief says: the officer that pulled you over told me that you had no licence, a handgun, and a body in the trunk! guy: yeah, i bet he said i was speeding too.

Question  :  How do you convert your        dishwasher into a snowblower ?

Answer   :  Give the bitch a shovel .

How do you fix your dishwasher?

Slap her.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing you already told her twice.

What do 500 women at a Spousal Abuse convention have in common?

1000 black eyes, and 500 mouths that don't know when to shut up.