Hello friends, t's time for...Ask Doctor Sgtar15! - Page 2

General » General Discussion

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Hello friends, t's time for...Ask Doctor Sgtar15! (Page 2 of 2)

Posted: 8/6/2005 9:57:40 PM EDT

[#1]

Doctor am I really a man if I whimper and beg for sex after 20 years of marriage? Of course I begged when I was 16 too.

Posted: 8/6/2005 9:58:25 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:

So here is my question,

Why does my wife hate me

She's just finally joining the rest of us.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

+

Posted: 8/6/2005 9:58:55 PM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
Sarge,

I ate some really spicy hot wings, and now my stomach is tearing itself apart. I fear for the great cornholio later tonight.

LISTEN UP SOLDIER!!!!!!!!!!! You are a MAN NOW!

So you get your ass in that toilet and stare that brown starfish in it's one good eye! You show that a-bitch just who iis boss of the bathroom!

Now sit your arse down and crap like you have never crapped before!! Make me proud!!

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 9:59:53 PM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Sarge,

I ate some really spicy hot wings, and now my stomach is tearing itself apart. I fear for the great cornholio later tonight.

LISTEN UP SOLDIER!!!!!!!!!!! You are a MAN NOW!

So you get your ass in that toilet and stare that brown starfish in it's one good eye you show that a-bitch just how is boss of the bathroom!

Now sit your arse down and crap like you have never crapped before!! Make me proud!!

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

That made my night. I love Saturday's with Sarge.

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:00:14 PM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
What about???

www.perfectduluthday.com/img_3608139_pink-eye.tiff.gif

Wanna play Doctor?

West Nile. my.webmd.com/content/pages/5/4068_101.htm?SRC=Google&Placement=coldflu

3-5 days..tops.

I'll take your guns as payment

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:02:43 PM EDT

[#6]

Quoted:
I put the press in the kitchen hoping the wife would cook up some good loads for me. All she did was set it back on my desk.
What did I do wrong?

Never, ever...EVER fuck with a womans kitchen.

That is her castle, let her do with it as she wants. If she can reach it while chained to the stove then that terroirty is considered hers.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:02:51 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
Quoted:
There is a family of Gypsies living in my closet. They moved in when I was at work. What is the best way to pursuade them to "git on down the road"?

You live in Texas, introduce them to ~~Clean_Cut~~ Fred M. He can get ANY group of commune gypsies to leave.

Of course then you have to figure out how to get rid of him................

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Sarge, I got another idea, spread a rummer is somekind of a 'cult' call the BATF and Janet Reno - they know how to handle this sort of thing.

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:04:05 PM EDT

[#8]

Sgt.,
a girl from work gave me her number
but when i ran into her today she acted very stuck up
what can i do to cope with the rejection
and
how can i nonviolently destroy her world?

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:04:22 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
So the Mr just keeps laying around all day, screaming for me to get in the kitchen and make him a sammich. So I popped him upside the head with a frying pan and knocked him out cold. I hog tied him while I had the chance, but I'm afraid he's going to be pissed when he wakes up.

What should I do?

Btw, when's the next production, Sarge?

Remember how you had a hard time swallowing earlier?

Well....time to get over that little hangup

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

PS I have writers bloke...Improv helps

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:04:39 PM EDT

[#10]

Sarge, why does everyone think I am Clean-Cut.

Thanks

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:05:22 PM EDT

[#11]

Okay , okay...

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:05:43 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
What is wrong with me?

Wait for it........

What is it? Puss?

Pretty much nailed it yourself their junior.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:08:36 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
images.auctionworks.com/hi/46/46217/143603.jpg

Are these acceptable for cqb?

Since you are a woman I assume cqb stands for cooking, bbq and baking.........so I'll say yes. They look like they will get you REALLY close to the stove.

And wear a summer dress when baking. WOmen look sexy in summer dresses covered in flour while in the kitchen.

Now that I think of it...forget the shoes...you should be barefoot anyways. ANd buy an EPT test.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:11:48 PM EDT

[#14]

I perfer a thong...

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:13:40 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Doctor am I really a man if I whimper and beg for sex after 20 years of marriage? Of course I begged when I was 16 too.

Do this.

Get naked ( put the kids and dogs away first) and get some flowers. Then walk in on her and start removing the flower pedals one at a time creating a trail all the way to the bedroom. In the bedroom have some nice wine chilling along with chocolates and maybe some soft music. Grab her gently and slowly dance with her. Wisper in her ear why you TRULY love her. Then kiss her gently...first on the neck and then work your way to wherever the lips take you.

Then SIIHPAPP.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:16:13 PM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
Sgt.,
a girl from work gave me her number
but when i ran into her today she acted very stuck up
what can i do to cope with the rejection
and how can i nonviolently destroy her world?

I believe you already achieved that by introducing yourself to her.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:18:34 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
Sarge, why does everyone think I am Clean-Cut.

Thanks

Clean_Cut.

RachelF

FredM

That will be .05 cents please, and don't ask me anymore questions Clean_Cut

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:22:26 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Sgt.,
a girl from work gave me her number
but when i ran into her today she acted very stuck up
what can i do to cope with the rejection
and how can i nonviolently destroy her world?

I believe you already achieved that by introducing yourself to her.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Should i draw down on myself?

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:23:45 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Sarge, why does everyone think I am Clean-Cut.

Thanks

Clean_Cut.

RachelF

FredM

That will be .05 cents please, and don't ask me anymore questions Clean_Cut

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

How do I cut a Cent in 20 pieces to pay you?

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:25:18 PM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Doctor am I really a man if I whimper and beg for sex after 20 years of marriage? Of course I begged when I was 16 too.

Do this.

Get naked ( put the kids and dogs away first) and get some flowers. Then walk in on her and start removing the flower pedals one at a time creating a trail all the way to the bedroom. In the bedroom have some nice wine chilling along with chocolates and maybe some soft music. Grab her gently and slowly dance with her. Wisper in her ear why you TRULY love her. Then kiss her gently...first on the neck and then work your way to wherever the lips take you.

Then SIIHPAPP.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Hot Damn, I'm going to 'make love' tonight! or in man talk - "GET LAID". Sarge, thanks for that great coaching advice. Just one more thing, after the love making session, since I went to all the work of being romantic is it cool if I just skip the small talk afterwards and just fall asleep and she can clean up after us? :)

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:25:22 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Sarge, why does everyone think I am Clean-Cut.

Thanks

Clean_Cut.

RachelF

FredM

That will be .05 cents please, and don't ask me anymore questions Clean_Cut

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

How do I cut a Cent in 20 pieces to pay you?

What an idiot.

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:28:10 PM EDT

[#22]

Where did you get your PhD? Do they give those away to cranky old men that play with dolls now?

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:28:51 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Sarge, why does everyone think I am Clean-Cut.

Thanks

Clean_Cut.

RachelF

FredM

That will be .05 cents please, and don't ask me anymore questions Clean_Cut

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

How do I cut a Cent in 20 pieces to pay you?

What an idiot.

You hit that one right on the head

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:32:34 PM EDT

[#24]

Why is "douchebag" such a funny insult? There are dirtier things to call a person, but "douchebag" always gets a chuckle from people.

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:32:36 PM EDT

[#25]

Is is wrong for a man to fake his orgasims?

And;

What's so bad about posting when drunk? i Cant se anythung rong wth et/!

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:36:46 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Sarge, why does everyone think I am Clean-Cut.

Thanks

Clean_Cut.

RachelF

FredM

That will be .05 cents please, and don't ask me anymore questions Clean_Cut

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

How do I cut a Cent in 20 pieces to pay you?

What an idiot.

You hit that one right on the head

Oh did he mean .05 dollars? Or in another words 5 cents?

My bad,

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:40:06 PM EDT

[#27]

Sarge,

Should I go to Pittsburgh?

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:41:49 PM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Sarge, why does everyone think I am Clean-Cut.

Thanks

Clean_Cut.

RachelF

FredM

That will be .05 cents please, and don't ask me anymore questions Clean_Cut

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

How do I cut a Cent in 20 pieces to pay you?

What an idiot.

You hit that one right on the head

Oh did he mean .05 dollars? Or in another words 5 cents?

My bad,

Now THAT is something Clean_Cut would say.

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:43:48 PM EDT

[#29]

Why couldnt I find Fox and Hound to see other ARFCOMmers?

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:47:31 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
Where did you get your PhD? Do they give those away to cranky old men that play with dolls now?

What? You never played doctor before?

Or did you prefer to play "fashion designer"?

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:48:36 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
Is is wrong for a man to fake his orgasims?

A man should never lie to his hand.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:49:32 PM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
Sarge,

Should I go to Pittsburgh?

If you pray daily you won't have too.........

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:49:36 PM EDT

[#33]

Last night I was drinking with some friends and passed out. When I woke up there was a lock around my sack. What should I do?
Couldn't resist

-Derek

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:52:32 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:

Now THAT is something Clean_Cut would say.

See...doesn't take a doctor to figure it out.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:53:04 PM EDT

[#35]

Dr,

Is Cyanide still alive? I sort of miss his ramblings.

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:53:08 PM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:
Why couldnt I find Fox and Hound to see other ARFCOMmers?

Bad Aim

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:54:38 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
Last night I was drinking with some friends and passed out. When I woke up there was a lock around my sack. What should I do?

-Derek

Get drunk and pass out again. I am sure your friend will cum back with some lube and help you get your locks off.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:55:21 PM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Is is wrong for a man to fake his orgasims?

A man should never lie to his hand.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Not even if you sit on it for 15 minutes and give yourself a "stranger"?

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:55:45 PM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
Dr,

Is Cyanide still alive? I sort of miss his ramblings.

Try hitting your head repeatedly against a wall. SHould have the same effect.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:57:00 PM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Is is wrong for a man to fake his orgasims?

A man should never lie to his hand.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Not even if you sit on it for 15 minutes and give yourself a "stranger"?

No offense buddy, but even your hand doesn't want to go a second round with you.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:57:08 PM EDT

[#41]

check

Quoted:
Quoted:
Dr,

Is Cyanide still alive? I sort of miss his ramblings.

Try hitting your head repeatedly against a wall. SHould have the same effect.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:57:52 PM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Is is wrong for a man to fake his orgasims?

A man should never lie to his hand.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Not even if you sit on it for 15 minutes and give yourself a "stranger"?

Posted: 8/6/2005 10:58:46 PM EDT

[#43]

night people.

Don't forget to go to church tomorrow and pray.

Because you KNOW you've been bad and the Jesus loves you.

Doctor Sgtar15 MD, PhD, & DMF

Posted: 8/6/2005 11:01:15 PM EDT

[#44]

Goodnite Sarge, Goodnite paw, Goodnite Johnboy, and goodnite Mrs. McGillicutty where ever you are. (I wonder if ANYBODY knows where that last one comes from) Its' old, OLD TV. Black and white screen.

Oh and Sarge - I went to church SAT. I'll be sleeping in today.