Uh, um, errrrr... (Damn, I REALLY can't think of a title for this one) - Page 2

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Uh, um, errrrr... (Damn, I REALLY can't think of a title for this one) (Page 2 of 2)

Posted: 8/17/2004 5:32:48 AM EDT

[#1]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I don't want to ask how he got it on there.

Screwed it on clockwise? You would think he would have figured out that to take it off, you unscrew it counterclockwise!

Gives a whole new meaning to "Righty-Tighty, Lefty-Loosey"...

Posted: 8/17/2004 6:21:23 AM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I'ver personally seen an X-ray of a maglite in the ass. Whole thing was up there.....

Just how kinky was this freak, two, three or four cell??...

trying to break the record?????

Posted: 8/17/2004 6:22:19 AM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
Quoted:

My personal favorite was the x-ray I got to see of a light bulb where the sun isn't supposed to shine.

A friend of mine, who is an anesthesiologist, was summoned to attend as a lightbulb was removed from a man's rectum.

I have done many stupid things, but never got caught

fixed it for you

Posted: 8/17/2004 6:25:33 AM EDT

[#4]

list of weird shit i had to respond to.

2 gay lovers that wanted to make a concrete cast of their rectums. Used a quickcrete enema. 1 died

One death by gerbil inserted head first and got hungry

One rather LARGE body builder that suffered a broken neck. he was chained TIGHTLY to a bed and had a 300lbs hooker giving him the ride of his life

multiple odd insertions of strange objects where they don't belong

one man that cut his testicle off with a buck knife because he thought it was evil.

Medic groupie that would fake insulin shock several times a month. we always found her "unresponsive" in the bedroom usually in a teddy. Did i mention she was 70?

One death by strangulation of a rather prominant local lawyer. His S&M mask apparently had no airflow when zipped up.

these are just the ones i remeber off the top of my head. Trust me, it's a seriously fucked up world.

mike

Posted: 8/17/2004 6:28:29 AM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
I'ver personally seen an X-ray of a maglite in the ass. Whole thing was up there.....

Sort of puts that LAPD maglite ass-whoopin' video into perspective, now doesn't it?

Posted: 8/17/2004 6:29:12 AM EDT

[#6]

It may have been a nut that caused him all that trouble, but it sounds like he really screwed himself.

Posted: 8/17/2004 7:45:15 AM EDT

[#7]

My sister is a nurse. One time a guy came in with a broken stra in his penis. Apparently he liked having his girlfriend blow cocaine up his penis...that is, until the straw broke off inside....

Must have been one of those little coffee straws.

Posted: 8/17/2004 7:51:48 AM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
My sister is a nurse. One time a guy came in with a broken stra in his penis. Apparently he liked having his girlfriend blow cocaine up his penis...that is, until the straw broke off inside....

Must have been one of those little coffee straws.

Not necessarily - some urinary catheters are larger than standard drinking straws...

Posted: 8/17/2004 8:01:36 AM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:

A Tyne and Wear fire spokesman said: "The last thing you want is your grinder going down on you..."

Yes Indeed!

Scott

Posted: 8/17/2004 11:05:08 AM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:

one man that cut his testicle off with a buck knife because he thought it was evil.

Well, was it? You did have a priest standing by in pathology, didn't you?

Posted: 8/17/2004 11:17:40 AM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
When my wife was doing her residency in manhattan, during her ER rotation she would come home with the object of the day.

Hopefully, she would come home with just the stories, and not the actual objects...

Posted: 8/17/2004 11:20:22 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Quoted:
When my wife was doing her residency in manhattan, during her ER rotation she would come home with the object of the day.

Hopefully, she would come home with just the stories, and not the actual objects...

Yes, rather poorly worded. Over meals of rice and beans, she woudl fill me in on the latest atrocity man could inflict on themselves. It really was endlessly entertaining.

Posted: 8/17/2004 11:27:10 AM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
Quoted:
My sister is a nurse. One time a guy came in with a broken stra in his penis. Apparently he liked having his girlfriend blow cocaine up his penis...that is, until the straw broke off inside....

Must have been one of those little coffee straws.

Not necessarily - some urinary catheters are larger than standard drinking straws...

I know. Don't remind me.

Posted: 8/17/2004 11:31:16 AM EDT

[#14]

The worst I heard of was a guy who enjoyed having a mascara brush inserted in his urethra. The tip broke off and was lodged inside his pecker. It had to be removed surgically because the bristles had penetrated the urethra walls.

My roommate in college was an EMT and always had stories like that.

Kirk

Posted: 8/23/2004 8:02:46 AM EDT

[#15]

Guy I know was a cop at a major university for quite some time. He said they often got calls for 'suicides' which were really deaths resulting from auto-erotic asphyxiation. The cops would enter with the emt's and there'd be some idiot with a blood pressure cuff around his neck or a scarf tied to his bunk bed and a jar of vaseline and a playboy...
He said there used to be signs around the cop shop that said, "save a life, masturbate with a partner"

Posted: 8/23/2004 11:00:43 AM EDT

[#16]

I just don't know what to say

Posted: 8/23/2004 11:15:58 AM EDT

[#17]

I suppose, "Want to see my scar?" would really breakl the ice at parties.

Posted: 8/23/2004 11:54:41 AM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I don't want to ask how he got it on there.

Screwed it on clockwise? You would think he would have figured out that to take it off, you unscrew it counterclockwise!

Gives a whole new meaning to "Righty-Tighty, Lefty-Loosey"...

He was cross-threaded.

There once was a man named Horny Rick.
Who was cursed in life with a corkscrew dick.
Around the world he'd travel and hunt.
Looking for a girl with a corkscrew cvnt.
He found his true mate but it killed him dead.

Alas, the girl had left-hand theads.

Posted: 8/23/2004 12:20:08 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:

PRISONER OF LOVE IS CUT FREE

Aug 16 2004
Jeremy Armstrong

A MAJOR rescue operation was launched after a man got a metal nut stuck on his manhood during a kinky sex game.

Fire crews, medical staff and even a dentist were involved in the delicate procedure to free it.

And it finally took a surgeon using the fire brigade's high-powered angle grinder two hours to get it off.

The rescue cost around £5,000 - because eight fire engines were needed to provide back-up power.

A Tyne and Wear fire spokesman said: "The last thing you want is your grinder going down on you on a job like that."

The man, in his 30s, had left the nut attached for two weeks. When he got to Sunderland Royal Infirmary, he was in agony.

A hospital source said: "His member had swollen to a remarkable size."

A dentist tried his small drills first, then three firemen had to don scrubs to assist the surgeon.

The man has now been told his part might be beyond surgical repair.

Posted: 8/23/2004 12:39:50 PM EDT

[#20]

A few years ago the local radio station played the 911 tape from somewhere in the US. The caller was the night clerk at a hotel. A guest of the hotel had come into the office reporting a man stuck in the pool. Apparently the gentleman liked the way the suction from the pool filter felt and, ahem inserted himself into it. But he became stuck in the pipe and started yelling for help. The 911 operator didn't belive it at first, then could barely get the call out between fits of laughter.
Once rescued, the victim was arrested for trespassing.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Uh, um, errrrr... (Damn, I REALLY can't think of a title for this one) (Page 2 of 2)

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