this

You need a portable urinal in every room because the bathroom is too far away.

Having to get up and piss eight times a night.

All the injuries I shook off when I was young are catching up in a big way.

I was taught in my medical training  that when an old person “Stopped” talking about pooping they were going to die soon.

Bone pain...my hands kill me everytime after using the speedbag..

Nothing like sitting on your own ball as well

To the other guy who mentioned clouds.. yeah I find myself staring at the sky and being oh it's nice and blue..clouds look good to

I've found that it was the big stretch first thing in the morning that caused most of my "Hurt myself sleeping" pains. It's sneaky and might not hurt for a while after doing it. Being very careful not to overdo the stretch has done wonders.

I also learned to automatically pull my elbows back a little before sneezing. Prevents pulling a back muscle from the shockwave.

Been there, done that. Unfortunately, mine progressed into a detached retina.

FIFY

You hear old timers talking about “oh Time’s been just flying by..”
..but you never really understand it until it happens to you.  
It’s been a shocking and demoralizing surprise.

Grey hairs.  Yeah, we all knew we’d get em, but some of those fuckers are a different consistency. thicker, sorta gnarly.   .

The longer you live the more things you lose whether it be loved ones, your physical abilities or health related.

From what I understand if you start taping them up in your early 40s this doesn't become a problem.

You start feeling like the morning after even though you didn't go out the night before.

The problem is, I'm sure the human species was ever designed to live 100 years.  That's why shit starts breaking at 50.

50 is probably even past the designed time.

Speak for yourself.

I'm normally in bed before 8.  

The white/grey/silver hairs travel south.




The most annoying being the nose hairs.

So if you see me sitting at a stop light, I am not really picking my nose.

I am plucking the white hairs out of my nostrils.

That you get "thicker" and "shorter"

I don't know how to explain it, but I look at my mom and when she was young, it wasn't just her weight...she literally was "smaller" in bones/frame. Although I've always been a curvy gal, I feel like I'm getting "wider" and "thicker"

Oh yea, and grey hairs "down there". I saw an episode on Sex and the City where Samantha dyed "down there", but no one has told me that it would happen.

The ones with a lump in it are not too bad. It's the Hershey Squirts that worry me.

That when you think you are done pissing, wait 15 seconds or so, 'cuz you ain't.

Yeah, a jolt can get it started.

You're right though. Lots of things people tell you to expect when you get older. PVD is generally not one of them.

Mine was initiated by ~20+ rds of .50 BMG. Thought it might be a detached retina from reading accounts of it happening to folks from .50 BMG. Nope, just regular PVD.

The followup visit is to make sure the PVD doesn't cause/initiate retinal detachment (PVD happens to EVERYONE if they live long enough. Generally 100% by age 60-65). A small percentage can actually have retinal detachment as the vitreous sac continues to detach/pull away from the retina.

Try to avoid trauma (avoid getting punched in the face, shooting .50BMG or smacking your head on the ground etc.) while it continues to detach. Full detachment may take a few months.

The small danger is that as it progressively detaches more, part of it may be attached a little more firmly. As the whole thing progressively works loose simply from your eye movements, sudden acceleration may pull on the segment that's a little more firmly attached, inducing retinal detachment (which can progress and has the potential to cause permanent visual impairment or even blindness if allowed to progress too far). As mentioned though, it's uncommon, but the possibility is there.

The reason the optometrists never mention it, is because PVD happens to EVERYONE at some point, there's no treatment for it, and in the vast majority of cases, it doesn't result in complications. Therein lies the issue with warning people. If everyone was expecting it, you'd get hypochondriacs coming in every week/month.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, you risk having stubborn folks experiencing actual retinal detachment, choosing to ignore it, thinking, "Bah, it's probably just that PVD thing the doc mentioned". The problem is, time is critical with retinal detachment. Put it off too long and the damage is permanent (up to and including blindness in the eye). It's one of those things where there really isn't much advantage to warning people about it in advance.

Better to not say anything, and have folks come in and get checked when something changes about their vision (in case it's actually something serious like retinal detachment, diabetic retinopathy, macular degeneration etc.).

What? Old age starts at ten?

(Tom Petty voice)

....

You never slow down, you never grow old....

(/voice)

Somebody a few years back here in GD recommended this book:



I flipped through it at the local Barnes and Noble.

IIRC, the authors basically say to do cardio like 6 days a week for 30 minutes each day.

Feeling like your done pissing, then tucking back in to have a few drops right onto the boxers

@LUVMYGUNS

How has your health issues been lately?  We continue to pray for you

Youth is wasted on the young.  

To everyone?  I have never heard of it from any of my relatives.

 
Had that happen in one eye. In my case it came from impact to the side of my head.

This. Piss dribbles are treacherous and ever present.

fuck that's late.  

If you don't pee RIGHT before you go to bed, you'll be getting up to do it later.

I had a virtectomy when I was about 47.
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This saves water.

I asked my mother once about that.

"Now that you're an empty nester and retired, has time slowed down since you don't have as many things that you have to do?"

"I asked your grandfather the same thing when I was your age, and his answer is the same as mine.  No."

I read an article about that phenomenon, they explained that there were two factors involved.  First, it's a matter of relativity and patience.  One year is a tenth of a lifetime for a ten year old, but only a fiftieth for a 50 year old.  So to is that 15 minute wait a much "shorter" period of time.  The second factor is the way our brains process information, or more specifically the fact that we retain more detailed memories of novel experiences.  

Your brain creates more mental images of novel events for later review. Whereas something that you do everyday, you might not create any lasting mental image of it.  So when you think back to review, it feels shorter or gets confused with a prior instance of routine.  Want to make your days seem longer?  Try learning or doing something new, or taking a new approach towards a routine task.

At 56 , this 100%

@StraightShootinGal

I do not know why I am saying this but you make me laugh. I would like to have a couple drinks with you.

If you have a husband he's most certainly welcome because he's special enough to have gotten together with YOU!

Like my dad used to say, "golden years my ass"! Indeed pop.

Trust me on this. You are 11 months and 29 days past due.

I honestly think you're right. Eyes, teeth, joints, healing all start seriously going in your 40s. I guess those guys in the Old Testament were made out of better stuff - or were absolutely miserable for the last few hundred years.

I would never have believed it until it started happening...a lot.

Ongoing health and pain issues means that the last season of competitive match shooting may literally be the last.

When I can't ride a motorcycle anymore, I just won't give a shit about anything. Dig a hole and bury me.

I am 65 and I understand that reference

I feel like the Sorcerer's Apprentice when I try to keep up with my nose and ear hair. I think I'll give up and start styling it with mustache wax.

The problems that come with aging are a luxury many people never get to experience.

Be thankful.

I've heard it all from my pop.  There is nothing unexpected for me.

Going to the Bar and no body talk's to you anymore. In fact you don't even know what language they are speaking.

You know what the other thing they don't tell you is?  It'll probably happen to the other side within the next year.

I used to think "thus-and-such will happen in my lifetime."
Now I realize, they will not.

This.

Being able to screw six women with the same hard-on at my age is a gift from God. Used to be eight or ten.